I don’t own a checkered apron that ties in the back and has a pocket full of pinecones.
My kids always ate their vegetables, minded their manners, and won the spelling bee each year.
That was, of course, before I had kids.
In my mind, I baked cookies, but what nobody told me was, I really hate baking: then, now, and forever, amen. In my mind, I like the idea of baking and wearing an apron, though. The truth is I don’t own a checkered apron that ties in the back and has a pocket full of pinecones.
I understand, really I do, that expectations and reality are not bosom buddies, but it is nice to win the spelling bee even if it’s just in your imagination. You must aim at something, you know.
They will grow up and come back home for Thanksgiving with their children. And I will tell them that my expectations belonged to me, that they were my burdens to carry, not theirs. My job was to give them wings, not weights. My job was to inspire them to do what they were created to do, not create them in my own image.
It’s why we play baseball but not the piano. It’s why I know how to score an infield fly when I never cared before. It’s why my children are shy and I am not. It’s why all of that and more has to be OK.
January 28th, 2010 at 9:34 am
Very, very well put. And not exactly something one learns at a certain age and it’s done. :)
January 28th, 2010 at 11:26 am
Well, my kids are all creative and artistic, have read and analyzed every piece of classic literature that’s worth reading, have their own string quartet, lead Bible studies, and are running successful businesses – all by age 8. (Of course, I haven’t had them yet. :o))
Thanks for a healthy perspective on expectations and reality. You always have thoughtful things to say… and always make me laugh. My kids will probably all play baseball too. Ack! :o)
January 28th, 2010 at 11:50 am
Thank you so much for blogging, Amy. You always make me smile…or think. And I appreciate that.
:)
January 28th, 2010 at 12:09 pm
I know this has nothing to do with the intention of your post, but I have to ask; what’s the pocket full of pine cones about? Did I miss out on some childhood aspiration?
Thanks so much for your honesty in your posts and being a real person :)
January 28th, 2010 at 1:19 pm
Ruthie, Pocketful of Pinecones is the name of a book by Charlotte Mason, a wonderful type of homeschooler I will never be….
Paula, Thanks for the feedback. After my blog crashed this past summer, I lost several thousand readers (and advertisers). I appreciate when ya’ll let me know you’re still out there! (Beth, Lois, thanks for the input, too.)
January 28th, 2010 at 1:34 pm
These are the words of a women who is both intelligent and sensitive–meaning that she’s that elusive thing, wise.
January 28th, 2010 at 1:46 pm
“My job is to inspire them to do what they were created to do…….” This is the thought that has been rolling through my head over the past several weeks. You see, I’m a “girl mom” who has just given birth to my third boy. (: (i do have a most precious girl firstborn, as well) So motherhood has a different flavor than that I figured I was cut out for, but what a privilege to help three little men, and their big sister, discover who God has made them to be. loved this post.
January 28th, 2010 at 7:08 pm
…And Charlotte Mason will never be the home school mom you are!
I so love your musings and have ‘lurked’ for a while.
Just got through realizing that it isn’t about my expectations of my children but of the Lord’s plans for them that matter. Your post was confirmation of that!
Thank you for continuing to blog!
From the desert south west- Cee
January 28th, 2010 at 7:17 pm
[...] And as I used the raindrops and tears to iron out a few home school mom problems, I see I am again, not the only one who sees that it’s all God’s plan for my children that matters, not just what my expectations for them are at Amy’s Humble Musings. [...]
January 28th, 2010 at 7:45 pm
I really like this one. And, for the life of me, I can’t think how to score an infield fly.
January 28th, 2010 at 7:47 pm
Thank you very much. I needed to hear that in my parenting world!
January 29th, 2010 at 7:02 am
I’m still here, Amy, and I’m not going anywhere. I’d wager that all those thousands of readers who disappeared when your computer crashed will trickle on back when you start blogging more regularly.
This from a fellow blogger with good intentions and no consistency.
My children grew up to be artists, great cooks, extraordinary parents, musicians, knitters, interior decorators… They didn’t learn all that from ME. I am constantly astounded at the grace of God in their lives.
The really intriguing thing is watching the next generation. They play baseball and hockey and participate in dance and karate-we’ve never done any of that. The very best thing is that they are growing in grace and in the knowledge of the Lord. I can’t wait to see what the next ten years brings – by that time my oldest grandson will be 21. I hope I’m around to see what develops.
January 29th, 2010 at 9:02 am
Chris, It’s simply an IF, followed by the number of the player closest to where the ball drops. So, if it’s the shortstop, it’s simply IF6. And I just learned this…if short drops the fly, he does NOT get an error on him, I assume it’s because the player is still out due to the IF rule… (Lois, you can have Gary correct me on this… )
Janet, I go through phases where my kids/house demands more of me, and so I just walk away. Also, I am uninspired a lot of times as well, and I figure it is better to remain silent than to fill the air with noise. I bet people in real life wish I’d do that with my mouth. ;)
January 29th, 2010 at 9:03 am
And thanks, ya’ll, up there for delurking.
January 29th, 2010 at 3:39 pm
Ok, Gary is talking here and I’m typing….”you are completely right…whether he catches it or not, it’s still out because of the IF rule. and of course it has to be a pop-up that can be caught with reasonable effort.” haha, that went over my head (is “over my head” a saying from baseball??)
January 29th, 2010 at 10:45 pm
Isn’t Pocketful of Pinecones by Andreola? Or should I not know that… There is wonderful variety among us – I love that.
January 31st, 2010 at 2:30 am
thank you for this!
February 4th, 2010 at 8:53 am
As I picked up donuts for my kids this morning, I had the same thoughts. My kids were suppose to eat healthy, no sugar. But alas, I have not lived up to my own expectations for being a mom. Oh well, sometimes you just need to enjoy life.
February 11th, 2010 at 7:05 pm
I’m late to this party but wanted to let you know I love this post! :)
February 13th, 2010 at 11:23 am
I hate baking cookies too. I even made up a song about it. :) But my daughters like to bake cookies… such a blessing!
One of my relatives once clued me in that most cookie recipes can be turned into bars if you add a few tablespoons of milk and spread them in a rectangular pan. I have capitalized on this. At least, it’s what I used to do before my girls took up baking.
Amazingly, sometimes your kids get big and tell you that you’ve done a good job. I think God knew I needed that encouragement early. Of course, one’s own kids are surely biased, but I think it’s a good sign when they are.
February 14th, 2010 at 12:56 am
My dh and I have been discussing this since January. There is a multi-generational movement that seems to have the theme that you can plan and prepare for your children and grandchildren, and further generations’ futures. While I do agree with part of it, which is why we strive to be financially stable and to teach them to know and love the Lord, whether or not they get married, have children, or even whether the girls choose to work instead of marry (or in addition to) isn’t something we have control over. We have our own ideas and fairy tales, but they are our dreams, and not necessarily the dreams of our children. While we can guide them and sell them on what we think will be best, if they choose to go another path, it is because they are following a dream of their own.
Oh, and I am glad you are back to blogging! I enjoy reading your humble musings–