When I wrote yesterday’s post, I knew I’d be accused of being “too heavenly minded and no earthly good.” Yep, I saw it a’ comin’. And I’m sympathetic; truly, I am. I’m a practical kind of gal. To prove my empathy, I offer a little background on yesterday’s post.

My husband recently returned from a two-week business trip and offered to take the children to see snow so that (1) I could have a day of rest and (2) because this will be the last chance for the kids to see snow until who-knows-when. Now, being a nursing mother, I offered to keep eight-month-old Baby Cakes so that the snow adventure could go a little smoother, and plus, having Happy Cakes around is no problem-o. So, like my email friend who began last post, I was a mother of one for the weekend.

I do not know what got into my baby. Happy Cakes must have had too much chocolate in her cake and washed it down with a few gallons of Mountain Dew. She woke up at her regular time of 6 a.m. So far, so good. But things took a turn for the worse when she refused her morning nap. Then, she refused any nap all day long. It was a looooooooooong day. I tried everything and just had to conclude that my 25-pound Butterball was just too afraid that she’d miss a meal if she fell asleep. Whatever the case, it wasn’t pretty.

I prayed in desperation that the day would just end. I was so over it, and so was she. The day ended all right, right on schedule at 12:00 a.m., but Energizer Baby was still up. Maybe I should be more specific in my prayers.

She finally collapsed at 1:05 a.m., but woke up at 6 a.m. to do it all over again. She wasn’t sleeping for almost five hours; she was recharging.

So much for the break.

Now, I know my kids aren’t normal, but in this one aspect, I’d like them to join the throng–sleep. I hear other parents say, ‘Yeah, we’re keeping our kids up late so that they’ll sleep in tomorrow.” Ha. If you put any one of our kids down at a late hour, drug them with sleeping pills, rig up room darkening apparatus, and bribe them to sleep in, they will still get up at dawn. Always. They have an internal jolt that is rigged to twilight. I know this because we try these methods (all except one anyway…) regularly to see if any of our kids have decided to ease up on their aging mother who is having a birthday next week.

Now, I wrote yesterday’s post (about believing what God says about mothering) at midnight after the above adventure with a very unhappy Happy Cakes. Perhaps I left out the how-to’s because I felt ill equipped to offer any insight at that moment. However, even in my delirium, I don’t think that’s why I did it.

I can specifically point to a time where I quit dreaming of life after “this”, and instead, began embracing my calling from God. It did not happen when I read the latest parenting book or someone pulled me aside and told me THE SECRET. No, freedom mothering began when my starving soul quit feasting on the garbage fed to me by well-intentioned, but well-in-error advice givers: fellow mothers caught in Mommy Madness, society-at-large, Oprah, and in some cases, the church. Courage to face the task at hand and embrace the call to motherhood begins with humbly telling the Lord, “You are right. Your Word is true.” It is singing with the Psalmist, “Oh how I love Thy law…” As we discussed yesterday, God declares children to be a blessing and a great reward. The sooner we embrace this truth, the sooner we can deal with the nitty-gritty.

It isn’t wise to get the cart before the horse. We will talk (later this week and next–I have some fun things planned) about how to manage our homes well, but if we believe that God’s blessing on our families are well-disguised burdens, then no amount of practical help will be of value. And I ain’t got time to be spinnin’ my wheels. I have some sleep to catch up on.

Today I’m hoping to use Baby Energizer’s naptime to recharge my own batteries, but in the meantime, I’m harvesting Titus 2 wisdom from mothers who know what they’re talking about. Two different mothers of 10 (and a father) have agreed to an interview. You won’t be disappointed; stay tuned these next few days.

Now, I still can’t see the forest for the trees, as my youngins are still, well, pretty young. But I do remember having three under three and thinking, “It’s got to get easier…” While you’re waiting for our Titus 2 sistahs to be IN-THE-HOUSE, I offer this fun game of wisdom and wit. Finish the sentence: “It gets easier when…”

My answer:
…the oldest can buckle himself and some siblings in the van. Yes, that was a beautiful day.

For all of you stalking my site, waiting for me to post my interviews with the mega-families, I know that the above title was not what you were looking for. I know I promised, but it’s not as if I’m reneging. It’s coming, just not today. I know you’re excited, and trust me, from the material in my inbox, it’s something to look forward to. But I committed to hosting Vox Apologia VIII long before we ever started this discussion of Hope for Tired Mamas. (If you’re looking for those posts, scroll down.) And, actually, the topic for this Vox Apologia is very fitting.

The subject for this week’s Vox Apologia is The Least of These.

Send entries on the topic to this address by midnight on Sunday, March 6th and include the following:

• The name of your post
• The URL of your post
• Your site’s name
• Your site’s URL
• A summary of your post is optional. (If you don’t include a summary, I will have to write one, and you’re taking a chance there…)

Some places this topic might go (but is certainly not limited to): who did Jesus mean when He spoke of “the least of these?”; what should caring for these ones look like?; the role of the government and the Church in this matter, etc. What this topic will not include, though it fits here well, are articles on Terri Schiavo. There are several websites, lists, blogrolls, and such that are handling that well, and I do not want to reinvent the wheel.

For newbies, here’s how it works. You write on the subject, send me the info, and then I post summaries and links of all the submissions. Simple. If you’re still unclear, here’s a FAQ and a recent sample.

Now, I just realized that I have a stack of unanswered email, and I just advertised for more. Bear with me, however, as I endeavor to keep the main thing, the main thing. For example, I prioritized my grocery shopping this morning to get the ingredients for this recipe over answering my email and otherwise entertaining you fine folks. Fellow rocket scientists are coming over Saturday night, and I finally had a justifiable reason to make the artery clogging abomination. (Job security for my husband?) Priorities, I know. So, send your entries and have patience with my reply. I got a dessert to test out.

While you’re waiting for me to post more of my interview with Carmon Friedrich, I offer you Carla Rolfe’s answer to, How Do You Do What You Do? Enjoy!

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.
Titus 2:3-5

If I fail to obey the Titus mandate from a “younger” woman’s standpoint, I do not want it to be because I failed to ask for wisdom. Today I am posting part 1 of my interview with Carmon Friedrich. I hope you enjoy her perspective as much as I do. Stay tuned for more.

• First the run-down on your family. How many, how old, any distinguishing features, etc.

Carmon: I have ten children. My oldest son Hans is 21, married and lives with his wife Aubree in Oregon. He works as a web programmer there. My second-oldest son, Pieter, is 19. He was born on my birthday, which may have something to do with why he and I are so much alike. He is interested in politics and journalism, and is attending community college, hoping to transfer next fall, possibly to Grove City College. He and I became interested in the Constitution Party at the same time as we discussed the implications of the war in Iraq and Republican policies that were concerning us from a biblical and constitutional viewpoint. Prior to that, our family had been heavily involved in Republican as well as prolife activities. Pieter and I started Backwater Report (with Steve’s help and encouragement) [Amy: Steve is your husband, just so everyone knows…] as a way to encourage Christians to support the Constitution Party and to help them think biblically about current events and politics. Benjamin will be 17 on Friday. He is very self-disciplined and my only child so far who has any physical coordination. He has designed his own weight-training/fitness regimen and likes to impress his siblings with his muscles. He is waiting to hear if he has been chosen for a scholarship for flying lessons, but if not, he plans to continue earning money to pay for them himself.

The girls deserve their own paragraph (but I don’t put the names of my younger children on the internet). I have three daughters in the midst of all the boys, ages 15, 13 and 11. They were born at just the right time because I was due for some female companionship, and their ability to help with the home and the little ones is a great blessing to me. The older boys also helped with those things, but as I often point out, boys and girls are different, and the girls have a knack for both nurturing and homekeeping which the boys just don’t have. Also, we have released the older boys from many daily home responsibilities as they have gotten older so that they can pursue interests which might lead to their vocations. The girls and I like to have tea parties and do crafts together, like knitting and needlework. All three girls play the piano and fill our home with music. They also express their creativity through cooking, art, writing and various crafts.

The four little boys fill our home with silliness. They are ages 9, 7, 5 and 2. Our little boys love to play outside, and our 34 acres gives them lots of places to explore. It’s amazing that even though they look so much alike, and they are each just two years apart, they have such different personalities: the 9-year-old is very serious and always thinks deeply about things; the 7-year-old is our most “wired” child and we often give him a cup of coffee before church to help calm him down; the 5-year-old is very affectionate and sensitive; and Baby Braveheart is a happy guy who thinks all toy swords and guns belong to him. All of them can play for hours with the wooden train set, Legos or Playmobil. They love to listen to me read to them, too.

• What’s something you wish someone would have told you when you had your first child?

Carmon: Maybe it would be better to ask what I wish I had listened to when I had my first child. [Amy: Roger that.] Everyone always says that you should enjoy your children when they are small, but in the midst of sleep-deprivation, stomach flu, potty training and the tyranny of the urgent, it’s hard to believe that those little ones will suddenly turn into adults (well, teenagers first, which is even harder to believe). I am still in the midst of all those daily trials, and I still forget to cherish the daily blessings, but I’m more aware than ever of the need to do so and I try to kick myself more often when I dwell on the drudgery and remind myself of how fast the time flies.

• This week’s discussion began when a struggling mother of a toddler wrote me. Please talk to the moms with all little ones underfoot. When does it get easier? When does a “shift” occur?
  

Carmon: I’m not sure “it” gets any easier; the challenges are different. What does happen, though, is that through the daily trials, God sanctifies you and your perspective begins to change. [Amy: Oooo, I hear ya on that one…] You learn when all your children are little, life as a mother is more physically demanding. You are the only one who can cook meals, change diapers, clean bathrooms, fold laundry, etc. Hopefully, from a young age, mothers begin to teach their children to help with and eventually take over many of these chores. [Amy: Yes, a light bulb went on for me when a woman said, “If they can take out a toy, they can put it back.” That was a good day for me.]

But with a large family with many different ages, it becomes a challenge to deal with so many ages and temperaments. When your children are young the prayers are more for strength; as they get older, the prayers are more for wisdom. Steve once explained the mathematical concept of factorials to me. It is a formula for determining relationships. For example, if you have three people, you use the formula 1×2x3 to determine how many possible combinations there are for those three people to relate to one other: the answer, of course, is six. For our home (not counting the two dogs, two cats and seven chickens) the formula is 1×2x3×4x5×6x7×8x9×10x11. The grand total of possible relationships within our household is 39,916,800. I’m not sure if I’m glad Steve explained this to me or not, but it does help to understand why some days I feel like I need a vacation. It also reminds me that I am totally dependent on God for each moment of my day.

I do remember a time after my sixth child was born 11 years ago, when I started to feel like I wasn’t in control any more. Up to that time I had been pretty confident in my abilities as a wife and mother. The wheels of progress ran smoothly in my home. Then God began to humble me through circumstances where I wasn’t able to depend on my own resources or parenting philosophies any more. I needed to just pray for wisdom and strength and wait patiently for God to answer. He has always been faithful to do that. Though I have strong opinions about controversial subjects related to family, I have learned to be compassionate toward those who are in the midst of trials or who have not arrived at the same conclusions as I have on those topics.

If you had only one homemaking tip to give, what would it be?

There are lots of women who are more organized and who are better at the mechanics of homemaking than I am. But one thing which has helped me to keep a fairly orderly home is to pick up as I go. When we cook, I teach my girls to clean up as they make a meal. When I walk through a room, I try to pick up things on the way. Throughout the day, we take time to straighten the places we have been playing and working…usually before mealtimes and bedtime.

How do ya’ll respond to rude commenters in Wal-Mart? (Or do people not bother commenting because they figure it’s a lost cause?)

I wrote earlier this year about why I don’t shop at Wal-Mart anymore, and I have stuck with it. But I honestly don’t think I have ever had a person bold enough to say something rude about our family in a public place. Maybe I just look too intimidating, all 5′1″ of me! I have had some nasty looks, and I know people are talking about us, but I just smile sweetly and defuse the meanness with a “soft answer.” More often we’ve had people ask the inevitable, “Are they all yours?” and then say something very nice about our well-behaved children. Some older ladies have confided that they wish they had had more children. We still shop at Costco (Steve says he knows God loves big families because He created Costco).

Oh, good! Another short Mama. Being 5’2 myself, I’ve always thought my body wasn’t made for birthing. My torso is so short while my babies are so big, and it is just plain miserable (but it’s really not as bad as my other problem–vomiting continuously for months and needing intervention). My back just hurts thinking about it, but of course, it is more than worth it. Do you handle pregnancy well?

I have had fairly easy pregnanices until the 26th week or so, when I have to be on voluntary bedrest because of too many contractions. I’ve never had a premature birth, but with my fourth pregnancy, I did go into labor at 26 weeks and had to be hospitalized for a couple of days until it stopped. It was a bad case of stomach flu that triggered it…I won’t go into details, but the interior of my husband’s BMW did not fare too well. Those were the days, living the yuppie life in the Bay Area. We still have a BMW, at least that’s what they call it in Utah, I understand. It’s our 15-passenger van. I’ll let y’all guess what the letters stand for. My babies, however, are average size to small because they are usually born about 3 weeks early. Being short, I look pregnant before it’s confirmed that there’s a mini muffin in the oven, not fair when so many of my tall friends have to show me the baby before I even know they were expecting.

When was your toughest mothering time and what made it so hard?

In the past couple of years our family has experienced some severe trials which have stretched both my faith and my mothering abilities. I have not talked about those things publicly because they are not totally resolved, and I don’t want to say anything which would embarrass or hurt those involved. However, sometimes the toughest trials are the ones at the moment. For the past couple of months I have been dealing with some kind of mystery illness (which we are working to decipher) which has caused extreme fatigue, mental fuzziness and other inconvenient symptoms. This has been hard for me as I feel guilty not doing all the “perfect mother” things I wish I could be doing. I’m once again having to trust God’s providence, and I’m having to remind myself of what is ultimately important (hint: it’s not having the laundry caught up or cooking gourmet meals). My children and husband have been very patient and kind and helpful while I am not feeling well, so home and homeschool continue to function, even when I don’t function at peak performance speed.

Tomorrow, I’ll post the conclusion of my interview with Carmon as she takes us through a day in her house.

For anyone wondering why this post’s formatting doesn’t match yesterday’s or why I don’t take the time to lay it out nicer, just know that I AM DONE FIGHTING THE BLOGGER MONSTER. I am not entirely dumb: however, when you choose a font size and switch between screens, the font size should not morph into 1% or 29847598457982% when you return. My little piece of wisdom for today: You always get what you pay for.

See ya tomorrow.

Amy: Thanks for taking the time to chat, Carmon. Always a pleasure!! For my last query, inquiring minds want to know what a day in your home looks like.

Carmon: I guess this is where I am supposed to describe a typical day. Remember the factorial relationships? [See yesterday’s interview.] With so much activity in 3000 square feet, typical is impossible to describe. Perhaps ideal would be easier. But people want to know what it’s really like, don’t they?

Well, when Mom is feeling well, the day begins about 7 am. Steve brings me my morning mocha to help me wake up, as I am not a morning person.

[Amy interupts: How do you like your mocha? Carmon replies gracefully to the rude interruption: Steve makes it for me every morning. He grinds French roast coffee beans and makes some fairly strong coffee. He fills my shiny red travel mug 3/4 full, adds a small amount of Ghirardelli cocoa powder, some Splenda and fills to the top with half ‘n half. He mixes with love, then delivers promptly, to prompt me to wake up and start the day. Amy: Oh, OK. You know, it’s these details that make the story, you know.]

Meanwhile, back at the ranch… One of the girls fixes breakfast, sometimes cereal, sometimes cooked cereal, sometimes eggs or pancakes. After beds are made, teeth are brushed and the kitchen cleaned, we begin school. The older children are pretty independent in their school work (I have written about how our family uses the Robinson Curriculum). I spend most of my morning time working with the younger guys on their reading skills and giving them assignments for math and writing. I also read aloud to them. We take a break for lunch at noon, then everyone has a chore to do before finishing up their school work. The afternoon is spent reading, practicing piano, playing outside, cooking or doing projects. Then it’s time for dinner, baths, story time and bed for little guys. Older children spend time visiting with Steve and me in our room, or we sometimes watch a movie together. Someone always has his or her nose in a book.

It doesn’t sound very exciting when I write it down, but there is so much activity in the midst of it all! There are conversations all day long. Somebody is always doing something creative. Lots of discipline and training takes place as we learn to live together in peace and harmony. Our children are being trained to work hard and have a cheerful attitude about it. We love to spend time with friends, but we limit the time socializing away from home as our family life suffers if we have too many late nights and too many interruptions to school and work. Because of our roller-coaster circumstances the past couple of years, I have not scheduled any long-term commitments into our life, but that has allowed flexibility to minister to people as needs arise. Our only recurring activities are weekly piano lessons in our home and a monthly art class for my daughters. Even though we stay home a lot, there are many interruptions and errands. Birthdays are a big cause for celebration here, and we have no shortage of those.

Because we live in the boondocks, we are at home more than in the car, which is unusual compared to a lot of people we know. I’ve been pondering ways to make our home a more productive place as I think that homeschooling means staying H-O-M-E. There is so much unrealized potential in our homes, but we’ve become dependent on others to do it all for us, from pre-packaged meals to making our fun…it’s all waiting for us at Wal-Mart ;-). Many, even Christians, are skeptical of the idea of women being homekeepers because they have such a limited conception of what home life is like. Some wonder, “What do you do all day?” because all they can conceive of doing at home is watching television and eating take-out food.

In a big family, of course, laundry, cooking, cleaning and other tasks are time-consuming and constant. But home as a place of hospitality, ministry, business, education and even cultural creation is something that has been greatly underappreciated and needs to be engaged in much more by Christian families. We are still just scratching the surface of this idea, but I hope we can set an example for others as God grants us health, ideas and grace to do so.

This week’s Vox Apologia VIII topic is “The Least of These.” If you’d like to host one in the future, go here. In the meantime, here are the entries:

My three pennies worth ponders Inasmuch as You Did It Not: “I had a neighbor boy get dropped off at my house today. No one was very excited about it, either, including me. Maybe, especially me. My children rolled their eyes and groaned, “Not him…” and while I lectured them sternly on playing nicely with him, I was inwardly rolling my eyes and groaning alongside them…”

RazorsKiss writes Spiritual Orphans: Amy relates the expression “the least of these” with children… This comparison is also apt in the Biblical sense. In two passages in Matthew 18, Jesus compares us to children - and we are told to imitate them. He also gives one of the most explicit - and in my opinion, most frightening - warnings in the whole Scripture…

Warnockmiller reflects on The Least of These: “… few of us are really out there living a prolife statement. Even within the church, we don’t welcome the little children the way He does.”

Vessel of Mercy writes The Least of These: “…scripture shows us that it should be a part of who we are as followers of Christ, it is not optional or just the missionaries job.”

Fresh flowers submits The Least of These: We have come face to face with the ‘least of these’ as foster parents. Having one of ‘those’ children become a permanent member of our home has radically changed how we view ‘problem’ children.

Blogotional writes Who are “The Least?”: Because we are among the least, we do not give out of our plenty, we share out of our poverty.

Attention Span writes Closer Than We May Think: Jesus gives us many examples of those in need in the Parable of the Sheep and the Goats, and we know about those needs. But are we overlooking some of the least of these with needs which may not be as obvious to us?

Allthings2all pens (ok, types) Is It Tomorrow Yet?: Is anyone really untouchable in Jesus eyes? When he walked the earth Jesus transformed the lives of those considered “the least”. He is still touching the untouchables. This post reports on a night on the town with Jesus, and the responses and interactions that occur with some of those who are often considered the least important.

Sharing Life writes What You Did For the Least of These: I’m looking on “the least of these” on the basis of Jesus’ story about the sheep and the goats. Our faith in Christ should lead us to deeds of love and compassion for the least of these. They are (in this context) our brother and sisters in Christ who are in distress. Jesus calls us to reach out to them for His sake, regardless of the way society (and we) might look at them.

Northern ‘burbs blog writes The Least of These: We should be taking individual responsibility to care for the less fortunate, and I believe I have much work to do in this area. We show love for God by caring for those in need, and by reaching them on a physical level, in this temporal life, they are more receptive to the Good News that has eternal ramifications.

Weapons of Warfare writes A Dangerous Business: “To know God and make him known!” is my cry and calling. It is a fearful calling, yet a calling filled with blessings; for as I receive one of these little ones, I receive Christ.

If you woke up this morning feeling bad because you forgot it was my birthday, don’t worry: you’re in good company. I like the cartoon where Charlie Brown says, “I already know nobody likes me. How come we have to have a holiday to emphasize it?”

However, there are plenty of hours left today for you to send your well wishes and pretend that it was your intention all along. It’s OK; I’ll take what I can get. Cash wire-transfers are also gladly accepted.

But, whuddoyaknow, I’m the one handing out presents today. I’m posting part 1 of my interview with John and Diane, parents of 10 kiddos. It’s a treat, for sure. Stay tuned tomorrow when I’ll post the rest of it. Enjoy!

Back row: Jessie-22, John holding Olivia-5, Diane holding Clarissa-8 months now, Sara-11 and Karina-20 Front row: Yelena-2 on Nick’s lap-17, Lucas-8, Becca-11 and Andrew-13

Amy: Diane, what’s something you wish someone would have told you when you had your first child?

Diane: I received plenty of advice, but I was 20 years old and didn’t have a personal relationship with Christ, so how good that advice was, I can’t say for sure. I was selfish and did what I wanted, but I wish I had listened to the simple advice to enjoy her. I have apologized to my three oldest for being such a selfish mom, and blessedly they have forgiven me.

Amy: Please talk to the moms with all little ones underfoot. When does it get easier?

Diane: I love it when they become more independent! We train our children from the beginning to have responsibilities that are equal to their abilities for their ages. As they grow and mature the expectations that we have for them increase. It’s a lot easier when they are able to dress themselves, go potty on their own and help with little tasks.

Don’t be afraid to give your toddlers and preschoolers responsibility. There is a time when your first children have grown and they don’t need as much attention as the little ones. That’s when the older children transition from being only consumers to becoming contributors. They can help watch the little ones, clean up, make lunch and whatever else they can do to make a large family go.

For the mothers who have a ways to go before any of their children can help themselves and each other [Amy starts coughing and waving her arms], try to remember every day (and night) in light of eternity. That’s what gets me through the long nights when the baby won’t settle down and I’m operating on a few hours of sleep. I cry out to God and remind him of how weak I am and could he please help me make it through this one night. At other times I remind myself…”This is only temporary. I’ve made it through the early years of the other children. God willing, I’ll make it through these.”

Amy: John, what is the best thing you do to help your wife?

John: Diane’s love language is service. She feels most loved by me when I volunteer to carry one of her usual burdens, which gives her time alone to do what she enjoys. It could be something as simple as putting the young ones to bed at night - washing up, brushing teeth, changing diapers, getting pajamas on, reading, talking, praying, and tucking in. If I do this for her, it gives her some time to relax and read a book or do her needlepoint.

Something else that I can do to help Diane is to watch all of the children for a longer period of time and just let her loose to get out of the house and drive somewhere - alone. She will often go to the library or to the Borders bookstore and just browse around. She doesn’t even have to spend any money to have a good time. Whatever she does, it’s her time to do with as she pleases.

An everyday blessing that I can bestow upon her is to give her a hug as soon as I arrive home from work. After dealing with a house full of small children all day, she needs direct contact with an adult. I immediately follow this up with, what else - conversation. A few good minutes of adult conversation puts her right and draws her out of mother-of-small-children syndrome. You know, where Mom moves her index finger up and down over her lips while blubbering.

Amy: whut R U talking abowt, Jon? Us Mamas of small chilluns never need a brake, doo we?!#@?

OK, I know I said that I’d post the rest of the interview with John and Diane today, but I lied. Sue me. It’s just too good to play all my cards at once, so I’m dragging it out. Yeah, I’m a lazy blogger. Get used to it.

One of the tricks of having more than the acceptable 1.7 – 2.2 offspring is that sometimes you’re the object of ridicule, pity, and/or disbelief. People actually knock on your head to see if there is a brain in there. McFly? McFly? Do you people think I make this stuff up?! My life is too interesting to have to lie.

Let me back up and rephrase. It is my experience that the wifey just gets the stares, comments, and rude questioning. My husband goes out shopping with all the kiddos and he gets donned THE HERO. What a nice man you must be…and such well-mannered children…

Double standard alert. But since I’m not a feminist or an Equal Opportunity Employer, I don’t care. So sue me. Again.

Now, that I’ve stolen John’s thunder, here’s part 2 of the interview. Bonus link: here are more sweet pictures of the family behind the screen.

Amy: How do ya’ll respond to rude commenters in Wal-Mart?

Diane: Believe it or not the rudest comments have come from family and people in the church. We had a church member actually offer John the name of a doctor who performed vasectomies!

John: Wow! I forgot about that one. I guess I didn’t consider that advice. My philosophy on that is, If it aint broke, don’t fix it.

Amy, maybe as a guy I don’t get the same looks or comments that the gals do. My own observation is that most people are encouraging in some way or another. Sometimes they give us positive remarks or just agreeable nods of the head or a smile to indicate that they like what they see.

For example, when we go out to eat in a restaurant, we are usually quite conspicuous. … Most times, some elderly couple will come over after their meal to compliment us on the behavior of our children. That always makes us feel good that there are people out there who appreciate large families and the good behavior that we work to promote within ours.

Six years ago we moved to our new house in a rural community. When we would visit these little rural churches to determine which one we would call home, we’d file in for services and take up half the sanctuary. Uhhm, let’s see…do we have any visitors today? It looked like a Greyhound bus just emptied in front of the church.…

When we settled into our present church we found everyone supportive and encouraging. I think they liked the novelty of having a large family amongst them. ‘For the first few years we’d be exuberantly introduced to everyone as John and Diane, (pause a second for effect)…and they have ten children! What I felt like they were really saying was, Meet the incredible procreating Christian couple! Aren’t we so blessed to have them! Not every church has the same success breeding them. (laugh)

What it really comes down to is that, yes, there can be inappropriate remarks by persons about our family size. So what. We didn’t have children to please anyone else but the Lord…

There was a time when we were content with three children. But then we had a personal experience with the Author of Life, and one of the best ways that we could express our faith in him was to allow him to open or close the womb. We trusted his word and his promises - that if he gave us children he would give us the resources - spiritual, emotional and physical - to care for them. Diane and I were firmly convicted of this, and we became persons of our convictions. Not everyone feels that way. Fine.

Amy: That’s more than fine, John and Diane. Thanks and we’ll see ya tomorrow.

Two months ago, I barely knew what a blog was. I knew a blogger exposed the Dan Rather faux pas (lovely parting gifts, Danny Boy…), but that was the extent of my knowledge. I googled “how to start a blog,” and I was up and running in about 20 minutes, never having seen another Blogger blog before.

Which is why I named my blog what I did.

It was all really tongue-in-cheek. I mean, what’s so humble about seeing your name splashed across a page? For the record, however, it is my musings that are humble, not me calling myself “humble.”

I’m ready to make good my resolution to terminate THE BLOGGER MONSTER [for the uninitiated, Blogger (.blogspot) is my web host] and get on with spending my time actually blogging instead of switching between screens, wrestling 90% font from morphing into 0% font. Oh, and I’d like to login, too.

So, I’m asking for your help. I need a blog title. I’m toying with the idea of giving up Amy’s Humble Musings, because it’s just, well… lame. But considering that a throng of visitors already know me by that name, it’s a dangerous gamble. But if I wait any longer, I’ll be doomed forever with it.

As incentive to feed me cool, double-nuanced, reflective blog names (as opposed to stealing it for yourself), I’m offering a free book of your own choice to the person that submits the name I actually use. Now, if you haven’t already entered the Challies.com book drawing that I have in the sidebar, go do it. But you have a much better chance at my drawing.

So, go think. And then drop me a comment.
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Fine print: Rules subject to change as I make them up. No romance novals or autobiographies by Bill Clinton allowed as your selection. No gold-embossed, hard-cover, 300 volume, autographed, first edition selections permitted. Enter as often as you wish.

Now that The Blogger Monster is letting me post, I thought I’d write “The Sum of the Whole Matter.” I conclude my mega-family interview series with the most important, profound, Big Mac-daddy question of them all:

How much does a trip to McDonald’s cost?

John: I don’t think we’ve ever had all 10 children in the van at one time…that would be like stuffing a Volkswagen with a whole lot of college kids as some kind of fraternity stunt. Nonetheless, we can fit enough children in the van at one time so that any road trip that ends up at McDonald’s will cost around $35 - $40.

[We] split large fries among the littlest ones since they can’t eat a whole combo. The kids feed the leftover fries to the bench seat cracks. Every few months we clean out the van and use the old fries as kindling to start campfires in the backyard.

There you have it, folks. A big thank you to John and Diane!

My husband just did this five minutes ago:

But he tells me that my Blogger hosting problems aren’t solvable.
Go figure.

[This post was written when my site was hosted by Blogger.]

Vox Apologia IX is up at Razor’s Kiss. The subject is: “Glory to Man in the Highest: Humanism’s Dangerous Claim.”

Ladies’ Against Feminism just updated their site. Lots of new articles.

A pastor’s wife makes a startling confession. Brace yourself.

See two posts below for the Humble Muse contest winner(s).