I took the liberty to rewrite the standard wedding vows.

Yesterday’s Marriage Vows:
Do you promise to love and cherish her, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, for better for worse, and forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto her, for so long as you both shall live?

Today’s Marriage Vows:
Do you promise to use and enjoy her, in youth and vitality, for gain and for prosperity, for better for purse, and forsaking her druthers, keep your wealth only to transfer, your lust so now she can’t live?

We do.