Things that make you go, “Huh?”

Monday, May 16, 2005

I passed this sign on my way home yesterday. I can’t shake it that nobody at the church has realized its error as it languishes there for many days. Bonus points for the first commenter who points out the obvious Biblical text that should immediately come to mind.

I used to think that nobody read church marquees, but I have to admit that my husband and I rubberneck now, gawking at each passing one. They’re just too good not to discuss. We need something to do since our kids don’t bother squabbling in the car. ;)

Now, I’m not an uptight person. I can appreciate the good feelings that the sign intended to convey. But at some point, we must concede that modern evangelicalism is falling far short of Biblical orthodoxy. The message of the cross continues to take a back seat to feel-good theology. Look around. The signs are everywhere.

28 Comments

1. Matthew 25:5?

   I am also a “fan” of church reader boards. Hopefully we don’t all meet our fate while I am craning my neck to read one as I drive by one of these days

   Comment by Lindsey (May 16, 2005 @ 11:00 pm )

2. Matthew 7:21-22
   “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?’”

   Comment by Sherry (May 16, 2005 @ 11:43 pm )

3. I couldn’t think of the Scripture, but the Crusades come to mind as a pretty good example of why this isn’t true!

   Comment by Carrie K. (May 16, 2005 @ 11:58 pm )

4. I’m sure the nice church people had the best of intentions, but come on!

   Comment by Shannon Miller (May 17, 2005 @ 12:13 am )

5. Contextually skewed version of Colossians 3:17:

   “And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.”

   Comment by Heather L. Sanders (May 17, 2005 @ 1:29 am )

6. Wasn’t the crucifixion donr in God’s name?

   Comment by Rogier (May 17, 2005 @ 1:47 am )

7. I passed a church marquee the other day that read, “It’s better to be kind than to be right.” I suppose the average reader would see it as not allowing an arguement to linger on and on just because you WANT to be right. But I thought, what if you ARE right in God’s Truth? I immediately thought of the homosexual movement in the church. Is it better to be kind and let them join and turn a blind eye to their sin? I don’t think so. It is better that we stand on God’s Truth.

   Comment by ladyscott (May 17, 2005 @ 7:19 am )

8. I recently drove by a church sign reading “A prayer is a wish sent heavenward” Wow, did my husband get tired of hearing about that one! At first my response was that prayer is so much more than a smoke signal sent to a genie in the sky. I contemplated how such and intimate conversation, a fellowshipping with the Almighty could be reduced to this fluffy little quote. Eventually I got over it, I rationalized the various meanings of “wish” trying to make it sound deeper than it really was. The one you found however really amazes me!

   Comment by Jami (May 17, 2005 @ 9:47 am )

9. Yeah, those seem to be popular nowdays…my fiancee is especially fond of one he passes going to work that says something like “Have success in your life!” It’s all about being successful instead of being obedient. Can we all say Joel Osteen?

   Comment by Ashlee (May 17, 2005 @ 10:22 am )

10. How about “Don’t make me come down there! - God” ? I know it’s supposed to be humorous - and I did chuckle, lest everyone think I have no sense of humor at all:) - but aren’t Christians supposed to want Christ to come down here?
    Isn’t that what we mean with the whole “Thy Kingdom come” thing?

    Comment by Shannon Miller (May 17, 2005 @ 10:39 am )

11. How about signs that make you go Groooaaaan! I hope to never attend a church with a marquee. (40 years at the same church and no marquee yet). Chruch marquees are breeding grounds for fluff theology (musn’t offend with true theology). Either that, or unscriptural pithy sayings placed on the marquee so as not to offend the blue hair who received the statement in an e-mail and passed it to the chairman of the Pithy Sayings for the Marquee Committee.

    Enough soap boxing. If I have another rant session like this, I may be tempted to start my own blog thing and my wife and family would never fogive me, so I’m going to go away now. Please - no more of my pet peeves on your blog.

    Comment by TheMadMonk (May 17, 2005 @ 10:43 am )

12. Come now…it’s people that say stupid things, not marquees…

    Seriously, marquees are best used to identify things that the church is doing which might be useful to the community, and worst used for displaying trite, banal sayings that advertise our lack of creativity.

    CH–CH: What’s Missing? U-R!!!
    Seven Days without Prayer Makes One Weak!

    Comment by Byron (May 17, 2005 @ 11:36 am )

13. There was one in Maine that we would often pass and my dh got tired of my fake barfing noises. I think he began intentionally distracting me! I haven’t seen any that are too bad here *yet* but I’m looking!

    Comment by Lyn (May 17, 2005 @ 12:10 pm )

14. A local church sign in our area had the statement: “You think it’s hot up here?” I drove by thinking to myself “Well, that should attract quite a few.”

    Whem my husband was on the deacon’s board, they had a meeting and discussed the possibility of a sign. My husband said: “Would we have to have witicisms on it?” His attitude apprently communicated a message, because it never materialized.

    Signs are great…for providing service times, etc.

    Comment by Kim in ON (May 17, 2005 @ 1:57 pm )

15. For a limitless number of church sign groans, this site takes the cake:

    http://www.churchsigngenerator.com/churchsigns.php

    Yikes…

    Comment by Byron (May 17, 2005 @ 2:31 pm )

16. Just a quick note–Sherry takes the cyber-cake with the apropos verse:

    Matthew 7:21-22
    “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?’”

    Comment by Amy's Humble Musings (May 17, 2005 @ 2:52 pm )

17. Well, to encourage…I pass a sign, here, at an independant Baptist church and they are not afraid to put Scripture up there, and not the easy ones. In the last week of October they had “Abstain from all appearance of evil.” IThes5:22

    Pretty cool, huh?

    Comment by Margaret in VA (May 17, 2005 @ 3:21 pm )

18. There’s a Presbyterian Churh USA near us that seems to specialize in fluffy quips on its sign. Among my favorites, “There’s a lot of thanks in giving,” and “Peace begins with a smile.” I wait in vain for them to post something like “Jesus Christ is Lord.” I’ve been tempted to go into the church office and say, “Who’s the airhead who chooses what goes on your sign?” but somehow I feel I wouldn’t get a warm reception.

    Comment by Lois (May 17, 2005 @ 7:02 pm )

19. Sometimes I’m glad my church doesn’t have any kind of fancy sign out front… It’s out in the boonies anyway; not much of an audience driving by to read it.

    Comment by Rick Beckman (May 17, 2005 @ 7:51 pm )

20. Sad, sad, sad. I saw one in my area this week that had the “CH__CH…What’s missing, UR” quote on it. I wanted to stop, go in, and commend them on their brilliant analysis…but thought better of it.

    Comment by Holly (May 17, 2005 @ 7:58 pm )

21. Oh please don’t make me confess that I go to a church with a marquee… and a regular set of (groan!) “pithy aphorisms” BUT I try to encourage whoever is in charge to put up Scripture… unfortunately our pastor recently attached the following phrase to, not only the marquee, but our (now in color?!) weekly bulletin: A PLACE FOR YOU- Help!!

    Comment by Carrie (May 17, 2005 @ 8:01 pm )

22. Oh, and did we so quickly forget that 9-11-01 began with that first part: done in God’s name ???????

    Comment by Carrie (May 17, 2005 @ 8:02 pm )

23. Alright people, I pastor a church with a marquee board on the sign, and I AM THE ONE who picks what goes on it. There’s no fluff on my board. Bluehairs may be offended, especially if they can’t handle heavy theology in three line doses.

    As an aside, there is a church about 30 minutes from me who used to have this message on their board. “Worship the way it’s supposed to be done.” Sometimes the message tells you all you need to know about the church. . .

    Comment by rev-ed (May 17, 2005 @ 9:53 pm )

24. I saw the seven days w/o prayer one once. It did make me groan…
    What happened to just putting up the times and a Scripture verse?
    Then again, as you said, what would we amuse ourselves w/ if we didn’t have those to read while driving. Not only are our kids well-behaved, but as life-long learners, we need something to occupy the mind when doing menial tasks.

    Church signs for drives. Now, what to do about check-out lines?

    Comment by Khyraen (May 18, 2005 @ 2:55 am )

25. Our Church says

    Jesus is Risen!

    He is TRULY Risen!

    I’m happy with that!

    God bless!
    lottie

    Comment by lottie (May 18, 2005 @ 4:10 am )

26. Oh now, come on. No one, NOT ONE, of you has mentioned my all time favorite marquee comment.

    “Body Piercing Saved My Life”

    *chuckles*

    Rebecca in NE

    Comment by Beccablue (May 18, 2005 @ 9:49 am )

27. Well, I guess that means knocking down the Twin Towers and trying to do the same to the Pentagon was all right, eh?

    Some churches have good marquees, some don’t. There’s one by my parents’ house that is almost always very…thought-inducing. And, most importantly, theologically sound.

    Comment by Miss O'Hara (May 18, 2005 @ 12:21 pm )

28. Godblog Funnies

    There is funny stuff out there, really funny stuff.

    Trackback by Blogotional (May 19, 2005 @ 9:05 am )

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a comment