Life is something I try not to get my feathers ruffled about.

One time I attended a caroling party with a very large group of people. Now, whenever you have a large crowd amassed in one spot, someone must be in charge of herding. The questions the leader of a caroling party must answer are: what songs are we singing, which houses are we singing to, and what is the process by which we will get everyone to the correct spot at the correct time with the correct pitch. Details, I know. But when the details are overlooked, the results can be comical at best, disastrous at worst.

I entertained the notion of taking the lead, since after an hour into the evening, nobody had stepped up. Plus, I was getting tired of starting Silent Night five keys too high and ending up in the stratosphere by the end of the verse. But I was only an invited guest, and the coordinator seemed content with the less-than-ideal results. Everyone seemed to be having a good time, even me—except when we sang Silent Night. But the take-the-bull-by-the-horns tendency in me wanted us to live up to our potential. Yes, I wanted to be the Extended Family Von Trap Christmas Carolers with faces all aglow.

One time I mentioned, “Do you think we should leave when they shut the door? Maybe it’s a hint,” but that was the extent of my interference. (As an aside, how come nobody rewards the carolers with hot chocolate and cookies like in the movies?) We could’ve doubled our impact if there were just a little forethought in place, but like many things, the process– and the enjoyment of it– is a large part of the mission.

So often in daily life, my feathers can get ruffled, but I have no one to blame but myself. The old saying goes, “If you fail to plan, then plan to fail.” If there is nothing for dinner or if we are running late, oftentimes a little forethought is all that is needed to make sure the situation doesn’t repeat itself the next day. Making a menu planner, always doubling and freezing, laying out shoes and clothes well in advance are the “stuff” of forethought. Then, there are situations which are impossible to foresee or wherein you have no control, and that’s where you just have to roll with the punches and learn to sing just a little bit higher.