Attention, Baby Stalkers
Monday, Feb 27, 2006
When a person can barely walk, has to be manually rolled over, moans all day, attends weekly doctor visits, and can’t think straight, the usual protocol is to call a family meeting and arrange for home-health care, convalescent care, or some other form of involvement. It’s just the right thing to do.
But when these are just pregnancy symptoms, somehow standard protocol is overlooked. Ignored. In fact, not only is nobody rubbing my swollen ankles and feeding me mushy food, but they’re hounding my phone at the same rate as telemarketers.
Me: Hello?
Other Person: You haven’t had that baby yet?!
Me: Who is this again?
I feel like a watched circus animal who is unable to perform her tricks. I must need more treats. We all know that a watched pot doesn’t boil. It hasn’t escaped my notice that the original due date has come and gone, my husband’s mid-February prediction passed, and the adjusted due date occurs this week. I’ve never gone past my due date, but apparently, this baby didn’t get the memo.
Everything has a time. Ecclesiastes 8:6 says, “For there is a proper time and procedure for every matter, though a man’s misery weighs heavily upon him.” He orders all things perfectly. Even the delivery of baby memos.
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Hang in there Amy! I know this is a trying time. I always hated it though when people stated, “Haven’t had that baby YET!”
Because I am 5′3″ and short waisted, those comments started in my seventh month. By the ninth month, I was ready to kill anyone who started a sentence with “Have you..”. Though I was large and could barely move, I had my husband on the floor and had a good choke hold on him when he clarified through a cough and hack, “bills…I wanted to know if you paid the bills. I said nothing about the baby.”
Praying for ya!
Comment by KS Milkmaid (February 27, 2006 @ 11:25 am )
Yes, hang on! As you say, the Lord has a perfect time for your little one to arrive and HE knows what is best for you both. My due date was all scrambled up, but my body and baby (in the Lord’s timing) knew just when that right time was.
Know that you are prayed for…..and I can’t quite believe that people are phoning you to ask!
Comment by Susanna (February 27, 2006 @ 12:13 pm )
It means I’m cared for…which is better than the alternative.
Seriously, I enjoy the calls, the questions, etc. It is how people show they care. Of course, I would accept it in the form of bon-bons too.
Another p.s.– apparently all the baby moving advice worked (or he just decided to move on his own). Baby is not presently posterior! Yea! (Another reason why I’m totally ready.)
Comment by Amy Scott (February 27, 2006 @ 12:23 pm )
Now, Amy, whatever happens, remember: You DO need more treats. Always. Leverage that treat thing, girl!
Hang in there–your long wait will be richly-rewarded, we all know.
Comment by Mrs. P. (February 27, 2006 @ 1:17 pm )
But I had a friend that went over by two weeks. She said she loved that time because she had prepared everything for her due date and those two weeks were filled with visits with friends (well, okay this was her first child) and very special moments that she was grateful for.
When I went over my date, well, lets just say I didn’t have the discipline at the time for that kind of perspective. We induced.
Anyway, not sure why I wrote this. But I know this kind of waiting is hard.
Comment by Leslie (February 27, 2006 @ 1:27 pm )
Hey, you could have had him on my son’s birthday, but you missed it. (That was Saturday). My son was 9 days late, so I feel for you!
Comment by Mel (February 27, 2006 @ 1:28 pm )
My longest wait was 18 days “overdue”. Although I question the method they use to come up with that date. This will be #4 and all so far have “missed it” by a week or more. And I have very long (meaning days, not hours!) labors, so my last two could have been longer then 18 and 12 days because I went into the hospital before I was in “real” labor (but they kept me anyway because I was “so” overdue. And eventually, things were done and given to speed things up.
So I know exactly what you are facing. The comments, the jokes, day after day coming to a close with no baby out yet, the desperate crying out to God that this has to end NOW!, ect. I will pray for you that you will endure this with grace and dignity (because I can’t say that about myself!)
And I’ll be coveting your prayers come the last week of June (although I’m quite sure he will be a July baby).
Jennifer
Comment by Jennifer D (February 27, 2006 @ 1:56 pm )
Oh Amy! Praise God the baby is no longer post.
Don’t do what I did once. I went to the mall and walked like a maniac. You know what my doctor said…”well, all that did for you was make you very sore”. duh.
Comment by Janet (February 27, 2006 @ 1:56 pm )
You can always try castor oil!!!!!!!!!
ha
stacey
Comment by Stacey (February 27, 2006 @ 2:15 pm )
Praising God that the baby turned!
I’ve done castor oil–it worked but its very draining (ha–draining–get it? lol) No, really, I felt like I’d had a baby AND a stomach virus.
Comment by Lyn (February 27, 2006 @ 3:13 pm )
I was over 3 weeks late with our last baby (we had to adjust our due date too) and I dreaded going to church the last couple of times since everyone just bombarded me with baby questions!
Here’s a poem I found during that time that really helped me:
Waiting
by Robin Jones Gunn
Dear Baby, here beneath my heart,
I thought that you might come today;
The timing seemed just right.
But the stars are out
And the moon is high
And sheepishly I wonder why
I try to arrange the plans
of God.
For now I know
You will not come
Until the One who holds eternity
Rustles your soft cocoon
And whispers in tones that I will not hear,
“It’s time, precious gift.”
“Now it’s time.”
Comment by Krystal (February 27, 2006 @ 3:20 pm )
My #4 was 2 1/2 wks late - I thought I would kill the next person who would look right at me and say, “Haven’t you had that baby YET?!@!” I always wanted to say, “Oh yes, but I SO enjoyed being pregnant, that I just shoved someone else’s baby in.” (Hmmm….what does this say about my character, eh??) : ) I also remember the last Dr. appt that I had…I was HUGE. (typically) This cute little doc waltzes - no, POPS into the room. “Oh, Mrs. Clark, you’re looking SO well….I’m the new Dr, blah, blah, woof, woof…” I took in the knee socks, the braids and plaid skort and said, “Are you sure? You don’t look old enough to have had your first period yet.” She stripped my membranes. Retaliation??? Perhaps. ; ) My daughter still took her sweet time and didn’t come for another day 1/2 after that. Then she arrived full steam ahead. Got to the hospital 5 min before she did. : )
All this to say, I continue to pray - and I will continue to stalk. : ) Rejoicing with you that this wee one has turned,
Dawn
Comment by Dawn C (February 27, 2006 @ 3:22 pm )
Bless your heart. I remember those phone calls. Sweet and caring, but humorous and annoying (at times).
When baby is ready, baby will arrive.
Prayers for an uneventful delivery and blessed babymoon.
Comment by Kim (February 27, 2006 @ 4:38 pm )
Amy,
It WILL happen. (duh) My due date was just last Thursday. It seemed like NOTHING was happening until Tuesday, when I did go into labor. All on my own! It was a quick, peaceful delivery. (I had an epidural ~ a wonderful epidural!!) Up until the birth I had a very difficult time waiting and accepting God’s will, but He always provides the grace to see us through.
Comment by Linda (February 27, 2006 @ 5:03 pm )
There is a plight of the short pregnant woman and looking “due” for months before the actually due date. I’m so glad to hear that your little one turned. My did it a few times those last weeks, but was post when I went into labor. Stayed that way until just before she came out. Glad she turned for the pushing, that was nice, made things go a lot easier than they could have been.
I know what you mean about the phone calls being both frustrating and yet nice because it is how people show they care. When I call pregnant women close to their due date I try to keep things general like, “so, how are you feeling? anything I can do for you?” Instead of coming straight out and asking if they’ve had the baby. I’m sure they know why I’m calling, but I always hope those are nicer questions to get.
Comment by tiffany (February 27, 2006 @ 5:37 pm )
Amy, I love your blog and checked in today just to see if you’d had the little one. I didn’t know your due date, but I knew it was impending. If I could, I’d bring you bon-bons. I live here in Florida, too, but I really don’t think you need any real-life baby stalkers, so I’ll just say that I wish you a short, easy labor with all the hospital bon-bons you can eat!
Comment by Kelly (February 27, 2006 @ 5:43 pm )
I think that my babies historically have come when I’ve finally realized that I am indeed going to be the first woman in history to carry my child in my womb for the rest of my life. Sometimes you just need to give up!
And forget the castor oil - I think bon-bons are a much more pleasant diversion! Make sure they’re store-bought and sealed, though. One pg, my dh decided to hurry things along a bit, and made a batch of brownies with castor oil instead of vegetable oil without telling me. He came into our room, telling me he’d just made some brownies, and could he bring me one?
Well, I said, I’m pretty full from dinner.
Oh, just one? He begged.
Okay, I relented, just a SMALL one, though.
The brownie he brought me was so huge it didn’t fit on the dessert plate. That should have been my first warning.
I told him there was no WAY I could eat that monstrous thing. Oh, he assured me, of COURSE you can! Just TRY!! THEN I clued in.
You DIDN’T!! I accused.
What, huh? He said in his little boy voice.
Well, he had to eat one with me (I insisted). I won’t tell you what he went through that night. I didn’t go into labor for another week.
It is a blast now to joke about it - and he still thinks he was pretty clever!

Comment by Karen (February 27, 2006 @ 6:43 pm )
Yippie baby turned!!!
Get out in that garden and SQUAT and pick weeds or do some transplanting. I did that last June and just ignored the contractions thinking they were Braxton Hicks. I decided to time a couple and they were 4 minutes apart. We had to find a ride to the hospital and then got stuck by a stopped train. :oP Dh found me via cell phone tag and we made it with 40 minutes to spare; the front desk didn’t believe I was in labor….another :oP
Happy Pending Labor Day!!! This baby wants to make an entrance you’ll never forget!!!
By the way, when you’re done gardening, grab a quick shower and call all the kiddos to the recliner to rub your swollen feet. You deserve it!!! :o) Get some special oils out and they’ll think it is great fun.
Looking forward to some good news…soon….you will blog the entire labor–right? ;o)
Comment by Julie (February 27, 2006 @ 9:03 pm )
I agree with Julie, except for the recliner part. Women at the end of their pregnancies should never recline. That can lead to poorly positioned babies (posterior and worse!).
Just more unsolicited advice.
Comment by Mel (February 27, 2006 @ 9:34 pm )
We’re all praying for the new addition to your family — and wishing you a safe and happy delivery.
My midwife practice had to shut down during my last week of pregnancy (with my 5th.) I had several bouts of false labor, and my mom finally arrived to watch our older kids…and we all watched the clock…then a few days past my due date, my new doctor suggested (inducement?!) There’s a first time for everything (I was a former natural labor queen.) We penciled in “7 am labor” in our calendar, and I had my first fully managed labor the next day. As she weighed over 9 pounds, I was glad we didn’t wait another week. I just wanted to offer that story as a possible option — in case the thought ever crossed your mind. (Though I know this might not be something you’d consider…)
Comment by Heather (February 27, 2006 @ 10:51 pm )
Amy,
I’m checking here most days to see if little Scott has arrived. Thinking about you and praying. It won’t be long now - believe me.
I really enjoy reading your blog. It’s one of my favorites.
Grace,
from Alberta - so no bon bons in person from me. Just wishes for a speedy delivery.
Comment by Grace (February 27, 2006 @ 11:18 pm )
My baby was over 2 weeks “post dates”, and big enough that I believe our calculations were right. He was just an ounce short of 10 pounds. His was also a much shorter, easier, and wonderful birth than that of my 6lb14oz “on time” baby. Four hour labor from start to finish, almost to the minute! So, I figure the aggravation of that extra waiting time was worth it.
Comment by Maggie (February 28, 2006 @ 6:31 am )
I’ve had a pretty good sense of humor about my pregnancy so far, but I’m starting to get sick of hearing, “Kate, you got fat!” No, I’m not really fat, but they’re just teasing me about my big preggy belly. That’s all I heard yesterday, and when I got home, my brother came in and saw a picture my dad took of me and said, “Kate, you got fat!” I seethed at him. He took refuge in his room. Tee hee!!
I’m also getting sick of people asking me when my due date is. I don’t mind if they’re first-time askers, but it really gets to me that the same people ask me over and over again.
I also get comments about how big my belly is. People ask me if the baby is ok for how far along I am. According to the doctor, my baby is right on target. Then they tell me that perhaps I need to cut back eating so much. AUGH!!! I don’t eat that much!! I eat low fat and very healthfully and perfectly adequately for baby and I. The doctor thinks I’m doing great and my weight gain is normal!!!!
We’re just so sensative pregnant. Just remind yourself that these annoying people love and care for you!
ladyscott
Comment by lady_scott (February 28, 2006 @ 7:16 am )
I’m praying for you Amy. #4 was a week late so I understand your frustration.
Comment by Diane (February 28, 2006 @ 8:09 am )
I would rather take the questions any day than all the well meaning people, strangers included, males included, who thought it was okay to put their hands on my protuding belly any time they saw me. Yeesh! Continuing to pray for you, Amy! Just think. All those you’ve blessed with your writing are now pouring the blessing back to you in prayers and words of encouragement! Aren’t God’s ways great when you obey Him!
P.S. Grace. I’m from Alberta, too!
Comment by Susanne (February 28, 2006 @ 10:44 am )
Hope your baby COMES VERY SOON!
Mary, mom to 8, all of whom I waited for, but only 4 of whom i gave birth to.
Comment by owlhaven (February 28, 2006 @ 11:21 am )
I am always, always late. I so know how you feel. I know the person talking means well, and we are to be patient, but it does seem that if they just thought a little they would realize that you’ve already been asked 10 times that day.
Castor oil does work, and I have used it for 6 out of my 8. But it can be miserable. But, better than petocin!
Comment by kerri (February 28, 2006 @ 11:42 am )
Oh good luck surviving. I know how that one goes. Good luck, lady!
Comment by Heather (February 28, 2006 @ 10:47 pm )
We’ve got a couple in our class that are trying to get pregnant (they need significant medical intervention), and have stopped telling the class when they are trying because it was too painful to face all the questions of “Are you pregnant yet?”
Comment by My Boaz's Ruth (March 1, 2006 @ 12:52 am )