A bath for baby
Tuesday, Feb 28, 2006
The answer to, “How do you do it all?” is simple. Nobody does it all. If you bake your own bread and mill your own wheat, then you probably don’t polish your silverware. If you polish your silverware, you probably don’t parse Latin verbs with your kids. If you do Latin with your kids, you probably don’t have a garden. If you have a garden and do all of the above…you probably don’t take a shower. And I’ll bet your garden has weeds.
I had another chance this week to discuss the How-do-you-do-it question from a still wet behind the ears mom. Why she’s asking me, I figure, is just for the sake of conversation. She can’t imagine I do it all. I mean, if she bothered to look, she would have noticed that I didn’t even bring my Bible to church. Let alone the diaper bag. (One can scrounge a diaper from a hidden place in the van, if necessary…)
When the mom with the newborn told me about her day and its trials, she related her baby’s routine and his nighttime bath.
And I remembered. I remembered when I had my firstborn and gave him a bath every evening before bed. I remembered that I dressed him in sleepy-time clothes and powdered him up. I remembered that I would comb his peach-fuzz hair. I’d even brush his one tooth. I’d talk and sing to him, rock and cuddle him. He even had a mobile in his crib that sported working batteries.
Then I remembered my #4 baby. We didn’t even own one of those plastic baby tubs. Takes too much storage space. A box of baby wipes is much more efficient. Sure, we’d rinse her off in the sink when one of the diapers failed to contain its contents, but she had to wait until she could sit up to have a real bath. With the other girls, of course. Currently, we line them up, three-in-a-row, and wash their hair in assembly line fashion. Not wanting to ruin their childhoods entirely, I do use (generic, of course) lavender-scented baby shampoo. Then, we dress the baby in cozy blue pajamas, a remnant of an over-indulged firstborn. I feel no guilt.
For the record, when I sorted through the newborn clothes for our #5 baby, my husband put his foot down and told me that no son of his was going to wear pink pajamas. Even if it was only for around the house.
With each addition, the grooming and manual tasks get streamlined. But don’t for a second imagine that their caretaking gets short-changed. Number five will not have special baby Q-tips and coordinating sleeping booties, but he will have more hugs, lovin’, attention, prayers and holding than any baby in the neighborhood.
Our 20-month-old was just getting over the flu a few weeks ago. My oldest boy asked if he could have another job to earn more money before we left for the store. I conceded, and we left together for a quick shopping trip. He pulled out his money, counted it several times, and checked the prices carefully on everything. And then he purchased a glob of candy for his baby sister. Because she didn’t feel good.
And so, my conscience remains ever clear about #4’s babyhood bath time. It’s all good.
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Great post- very encouraging! As I prepare for baby number three with two others four and under I have wondered how will I do it all? I am reminded that it is my sin of self-sufficency that actually thinks that I can do it all… how silly, only God can get his to-do list done for the day, everday. I am thankful to be make weak so that he can be strong. Praying for your baby to come soon- In God’s perfect timing that is!
Comment by Tara (February 28, 2006 @ 1:56 pm )
okay, is my baby the only one who gets stinky? Kudos to you for getting by on just babywipes for 6 months!! My second child is so stinky. She gets milk and drool everywhere, and then the folds under her chin stink, her hair stinks…bleh. She gets a bath every 3 or 4 days or when mom can’t take the stink anymore!
I hope you go into labor soon. I know it stinks to have to wait at the end….
Comment by Jill (February 28, 2006 @ 2:19 pm )
It’s funny how you learn as go along in children that the baby will live and not die if they miss a bath one night, or their socks don’t match their pants that don’t match their shirt. No wonder “1st’s” tend to be a little more hi-strung (is that the right word to use?). Because their mom was. My 3rd is much more relaxed about things because by that time I relaxed about things. I think God has a special grace for “1st’s”. :-). I pray that grace for my oldest daily as she forges the way of “new territory” for her siblings. haha. I still need to grace to relax with the things she comes up with. Thank God He’s always there and for other mothers to “talk” with (or is the right word “type” with?
Comment by Susanne (February 28, 2006 @ 2:21 pm )
i love this post and the comments thus far. though i’m just a college student, there are basic elements of similarity between my life and y’all’s. what tara said is so true: “I am reminded that it is my sin of self-sufficency that actually thinks that I can do it all… how silly, only God can get his to-do list done for the day, everday.” it applies to homework and teaching bible study and getting every assignment done and moderately balanced meals eaten and errands run and checkbooks balance…
how fabulous that the world is on Christ’s shoulders and not mine!
Comment by Laur (February 28, 2006 @ 2:30 pm )
Amy your post sums up why I just love to go to a first-time mom’s baby shower. I just sit and giggle inside at some of the gifts they want. I think to myself “you’ll never use that” or “yeah, that is a first baby thing.”
By the time we had our third, I think we were down to the bare necessities like a crib, carseat, and diapers. The only MUST have for me is a babyswing, all my kids LOVED that thing (and I did too).
Comment by Lindsey (February 28, 2006 @ 2:49 pm )
Amy, I have been following your musings for four months now. These months have not been easy for either of us I am sure, you gestating and preparing for the birth of your next babe, and me, coping with the loss of my youngest. But everyday I check in on you, and thank God for you, because you have helped me find my way through the fog with your wit, your humour and your common sense.
May God bless you and yours, and may your labour be quick and easy.
Comment by Tanis (February 28, 2006 @ 3:03 pm )
Hilarious! There were many days where my kids are still in their PJs. We don’t bathe our kids on a daily basis. Is it bad that sometimes we don’t remember to bathe them until their B.O. is nagging at us? But we definitely make sure they bathe on Saturday nights so they can smell and look nice on Sundays. These delinquencies aside, we do strive to shepherd and guide our kids’ souls to the glory of God.
Comment by Lois (February 28, 2006 @ 3:07 pm )
I have a friend (and, yes, it REALLY was a a friend!) who told me about one evening when her dh arrived home from work. He was so impressed that all the little guys had been bathed and were in their p.j.’s. She wasn’t sure whether or not to tell him that they had never been OUT of their p.j.’s since that morning! It’s all part of life as a mom of many!
Comment by Linda (February 28, 2006 @ 3:14 pm )
These days, my little man is doing really well if he gets out of his pJ’s. They are cute pj’s though. ;D
Comment by Anonymous (February 28, 2006 @ 3:26 pm )
oops! that anonymous up there is me.
Comment by Faith (February 28, 2006 @ 3:28 pm )
Well, as a mum of one I have finally realised it is ok to say I can’t do it all…..so there is no hope for future children is there!! They will have a disorganised mum who always writes a list of things to do that she will never get through…..but the love will abound. To love your child and nurture them and above all show them the love of Christ is far more important than ‘doing it all’. For the record, my garden is small and untidy, I know no latin, have no silverware and don’t bake my own bread! Hmmm…..I’m sure I do lots of ther things though! LOL!
Comment by Susanna (February 28, 2006 @ 4:17 pm )
Oh, Amy! You speak the truth with such grace and humor. Thank you!
Comment by Kim (February 28, 2006 @ 4:21 pm )
I have a messy little guy (6 months), and he gets milk dried under his chin….I try to wash his face everyday, but he for sure doesn’t get a bath every night. He usually smells ok for a day or three. Growing up, we got a bath once a week–on Saturday night so we were clean for church. It makes me wonder what we smelled like???
Thanks for freeing us from guilt.
Comment by Kathryn (February 28, 2006 @ 5:00 pm )
This post was so funny! I am a closet non-baby-bather myself. Wipes work so great! I have been known to give the baby a dunk in with the others bath but he tends to pee when wet - so that just ruins the whole drill!
Comment by Anna Peterson (February 28, 2006 @ 5:55 pm )
I forgot how much I streamlined. You articulated this so well. You also inspire me. As I was dejunking the basement I saw the baby tub and it crossed my mind to toss it. Now I can with no guilt.
One thing that helps immensely is multi tasking and deligation. A person can garden and recite latin, memory work or math facts with their children. You can delegate polishing to the little ones. Use a polishing cloth instead of brasso or ketchup works good too. Another alternative is to put the silver in the basement and use plastic forks. Plastic forks make wonderful craft projects too. This takes stream lining to a new level. Children can help mill wheat by dumping the grain in the hopper. If we make our own pasta, the children run the machine. I never get to enjoy my kitchen toys. I never do it all around here, WE do it to gether. Many hands make light work. Truthfully, many hands make more work too on bad days.
Comment by KS Milkmaid (February 28, 2006 @ 7:42 pm )
I am *so* with you. Our last four kids did not have cribs. A couple didn’t even have bassinets. They were nice an comfy on our floor by the bed on a little blanky. It is funny how much you realize you don’t need after you’ve done it a couple times.

Comment by JenIG (February 28, 2006 @ 9:03 pm )
Congratulations on the new baby!
Comment by Kristy (February 28, 2006 @ 9:43 pm )
Hold that thought.
Tanis, I’m sorry about the loss of your son.
Comment by Amy Scott (February 28, 2006 @ 9:48 pm )
Thank you, as I take a deep breath out, and relax a little, anticipating my second child.
Comment by Heather (February 28, 2006 @ 10:28 pm )
Amy, I’m right there with you. Makes me feel “right good” to see that another Mom doesn’t always have a diaper bag with her either, or give baby a bath every night…
I’ve noticed an interesting phenomenon, however. When I take care to pack a diaper bag, it is rarely needed. When I forget a diaper bag (or figure I won’t need one), the 2 year old wets his pants, or baby #5 has a total blow-out, or both.
I think such behaviour stems from the same secret in-utero instruction manual that tells them to wait JUST until you’ve taken them from the bathwater and put their “nice” clothes on for Sunday morning…and THEN lurch out a good spit-up all down the front.
But I’m not sure.
Here’s hoping those contractions hit soon, girl!
Comment by molly (March 1, 2006 @ 12:00 am )
Well. It took three children before I got smacked with the reality stick. And even then, when my home would once have put Mrs. Cleaver to shame, I wasn’t sewing jumpers or quilting bedspreads or canning home grown organic tomatoes.
But now, for purposes of keeping sane, I’ve learned to let go of many ideals (read: idols). Now Mrs. Cleaver wouldn’t even knock on my front door if she could peak in the window! I’ve learned to love toddler art (last week’s sticky oatmeal mess still on the floor and catching socks of all sizes. So we stick to the floor, and we laugh some more.
I don’t garden and I don’t sew and I don’t bake home made bread. I don’t juice and I don’t dust but the kids are always fed. And love and time are what they get instead of
Comment by jammie (March 1, 2006 @ 12:10 am )
Thank you for justifying all our dirty babies:) I just realized the other day that Jack is 6 weeks old and has never had a bathtub bath. And I’m okay with that:) I don’t want to wear all the “new baby” smell off him:)
Comment by Shannon Miller (March 1, 2006 @ 12:19 am )
I think that my 6th baby was bathed more (as a baby) than any of my others, because the older girls (12 and 13) were so capable of doing it. They actually PREFERRED to bathe him, than to wipe him down. My husband and I often chuckled that he got so many baths, he was going to end up weird.


But we love, love, love that fresh “shampoo head” smell…even if it comes from a washcloth and some J&J rubbed in!
Comment by Karen (March 1, 2006 @ 1:47 am )
These comments are all light-hearted, and that is good, but I am wondering if anyone who has/had “3 under 3″ can offer some advice on keeping the sanity and feeding them all when they are so young! I am expecting #3 in 7 months, and my two older children are under 3 years old. I really enjoy making homemade baby food, but I am scared I’ll have to give it up and “let go” when I don’t want to. Anyone been there?
Comment by Kristi (March 1, 2006 @ 2:10 am )
Amy ~ Oh how I loved this one. Our youngest is 12 wks and she only gets sink baths - at best. Her one and only in-a-tub bath came at the hospital. We threw out our baby bath (without the baby, natch);) long ago. Used it to hold blocks for awhile before it went, though. (Didn’t want to get rid of it without offering it a purpose for its life.)
We do however, have 5 older sisters that are dying for their turn to bathe her. : ) : ) I remember many a summer that our toddlers were getting wiped down with baby wipes in the van,in order to go to the store and look presentable. (it took a long time to acknowledge there was no way I could keep 3 busy littles perfectly clean all the time…and that wiping them down with baby wipes was ok.) ; )
Kristi - I didn’t have 3 under 3, but I had 3 that were 4 and under. Number 3 undid me. (this is a good thing) I think 7 is MUCH easier than 3 ever was. Number 3 ended all my ideas of perfection and self sufficiency. There were many things that I did up until baby #3 that have gone by the wayside, as I reassessed what I thought was most important and what was not. Because of this, I spent MUCH more time in prayer and drawing near to Father. It was SO good for me. As for feeding them - none of our 7 have had anything but home made baby food….wait that isn’t true. My food mill busted and for the 2 days that it took to get to the store to buy a new one, we fed who ever was the baby then some organic stuff from the store. BUT, other than that, they have all eaten with us. I made it a point to serve a single veggie with each meal and we put it in the mill and fed the baby that. Life with lots of littles must be organic…a natural over flow of what you’re already doing. Think Jesus - He didn’t do anything different, He just brought the disciples along for the ride. Go therefore and do ye the same. : ) It really is a GREAT ride!! Grace to you, my dear.
Amy - praying still - especially that you will do the waiting part better than I did. : ) (wouldn’t take much!) Grace to you, as well.
Comment by Dawn C (March 1, 2006 @ 7:40 am )
I’m just glad your husband put his foot down and said that no boy of his would wear pink pajamas. Talk about indignities!
Comment by Steve (March 1, 2006 @ 11:09 am )
Kristi, I had three under three. They are 13, 12 & 10 and I assure you bath time is a breeze now
Giving up a few things might be helpful for a time and then when things fall in to place after a few months you can start them up again. No harm will be done with a slight change and for a short time. Can you make a large amount of baby food and freeze it before the new baby comes? Same thing with grown up meals. You could buy a few new special toys/books for the other children that you can pull out when you are desperate. Same thing with a couple new appropriate videos. Just a few thoughts.
Comment by Janet (March 1, 2006 @ 1:45 pm )
Kristi - I have 3 under 3 right now, and in two months this stat will change to 4 under 4. It is tough but God gives grace for each day. I do feel very very challenged, more than anything, during this season of life, but I’m learning to trust in God more. I still make my own baby food. It’s really easy. I just steam the food and then grind them in the blender. Then freeze them in ice cube trays and once frozen, I pop them out and store in a ziplock bag. You certainly can make baby food in advance. If you have any questions, you can email me by going to my main blog site. Hope this helps.
Comment by Lois (March 1, 2006 @ 2:45 pm )
Thanks Steve.
Comment by Greg (March 1, 2006 @ 3:13 pm )
We did have a baby tub and used it may five time total with out first child. It was so awkward and bulky. We just decided that our children wouldn’t take baths until they could sit up. They always took a shower with me or my husband. It was/is convienent (our 16 mth old son still takes showere with Daddy) since we were “bathing” ourselves anyway. I suppose that some might say that it is dangerous holding a slippery wet baby, but it’s always been fine. And what a bonding experience! Esp. for my husband. I nurse my children and I HATE pumping, so he doesn’t feed them. He changes their diapers, yes, but that’s not much a of a bonding time. So the shower is a great time for them, and he looks forward to it too.
There are somethings that I still need to “let go of”(, but bathing my childen every night has never been one of them. They take 3 bath a week, sometimes more in the summer. And they don’t stink and they look clean. guess that’s not too much to ask.
Jennifer
Comment by Jennifer D (March 1, 2006 @ 3:14 pm )
Kristi, I had three 3 and under six years ago. Now I am expecting #6 in five weeks, with the oldest being nine. I wish I had let some more things go back then and maybe I would have been more relaxed. The others have given you the same advice that I would have given regarding baby food, as that is what I basically did, but I did buy baby food too. I do not recall feeding them to have been a problem….clean up was alot. I just tried to keep meals simple to prepare and make.
Just remember to take time to train your wee ones in tasks that they can do. It makes life at this stage soooo much easier to have built in helpers, especially when family lives a distance away. My then 3 year old would fold clothe diapers, fold paper towels for homemade wipes (we no longer do that!), help bake, help put away dishes and wash the plastic stuff - she got water everywhere though, fetch things, and help wash the floor. My then 15 month old could not do much but fetch diapers and help carry light things, and love her new baby sister
Now with a just turned four year old boy, he can help set and clear the table, vacuum, put garbage bags in the garbage cans, make his bed in a 4 year old way, pick up his toys…he seems to do more than our oldest did then
But they pick up so much from older siblings too.
Pray constantly for the Lord to give you strength, grace and wisdom. Hope this encourages and helps you.
Blessings to you and yours and congratulations on the expectancy of #3!
Comment by Theresa (March 1, 2006 @ 3:22 pm )
I had four under four, but now they are ages 19-23 and they’re not hard at all.
I don’t remember much about those days, except that I did the best I could, tried to have some sort of a routine, loved them, and sometimes sat on the floor with everybody and cried right along with them. And all these years later I’m sort of reliving it with a strong-willed 2yo and 4mo (and my 46yo body counts for at least two more). Ah, the path of obedience and service! I’m glad there is joy, love, and sweet baby’s breath to go with it.
Wish I could rub your feet, Amy. I PROMISE I won’t call and ask if you’re still here. I’ve been overdue 9 times out of 12 and I feel your pain.
Comment by Charlotte (March 1, 2006 @ 4:20 pm )
Thanks from me to all the wonderful responses - I can tell you have been down this road and could sense my anxiety! I am learning to trust the Author and Perfecter of my faith as baby #3 approaches . . . I do cook and freeze food for us and baby pureed right now, and it’s encouraging to hear others have kept it up even with 3-4 little ones at a time. My daily struggle already with two is s-i-m-p-l-i-c-i-ty! It’s so hard in America to live simply, and I really want to for my husband and our family’s sake. I am learning not to care so much about what other people think (ie I am weird for making all the food or if my kids miss a bath every now and then) and live with joy at home for God. Thanks for all the friendly sisterly advice!
Comment by Kristi (March 1, 2006 @ 4:24 pm )
Great post. Lots of truth there.
Marymom to 8
Comment by owlhaven (March 1, 2006 @ 6:49 pm )
Cute, cute, cute, Amy. You are such an excellent writer!
But…I still love to bathe the baby. I think it is the most fun thing EVER!
Comment by Holly (March 1, 2006 @ 8:05 pm )
Kristin,
I had three under three once. My oldest was 27 months, second was 13 months when the third was born. I have almost forgotten what it was like. My #1 survival tactic was to live in the kitchen. Literally. I put a rocking chair in there, ditched the table (What, was I gonna have company any time soon? I don’t think so.) and put in toys and bedding for naps. Messes were easily corraled, potty training was done during that time, I could make baby food,and cook (some). I used a couch and a baby gate to close us in. It would have been perfect if the washing machine was close.
BTW, don’t worry too much about giving up and “letting go” when you don’t want to, cause you’ll be so tired, you likely will want to. LOL
After the first few weeks, you’ll find your groove, and it will all be OK!
Comment by JulieA (March 1, 2006 @ 8:56 pm )
Oh yeah, Kristi, use gates!! Good one JulieA.
Comment by Janet (March 1, 2006 @ 11:05 pm )
This is so true. The Baby Superstores don’t want you to know that you can really do without many of the things they push on new parents. Although it’s fun to have baby showers and get oohs and aahs for the cute adorable baby wipe heater and deluxe super-duper diaper pail, those things must all be stored and maintained. Nothing beats a hug (or specially bought candy) from an older sibling!
Comment by Heather (March 2, 2006 @ 11:15 am )
Sorry, but I love bathed babies and I do baby baths in the a.m. Somewhere around a year they switch to night baths. I currently bathe the 7yo, 4yo, and 19mo together about 3 times a week. More in the summer, less now because their skin dries out. But, you know, I never had 3 or 4 who were 4 and under……
Comment by Lyn (March 2, 2006 @ 2:11 pm )
Greg,
You do realize that once you wash those light blue pajamas with a red shirt, they will be LAVENDER!!!
Comment by Jo (March 2, 2006 @ 4:10 pm )
Wow, Jo, you have a long memory.
For the record, I’m not allowed to do laundry anymore.
(See honey, I read your blog)
Comment by Greg (March 2, 2006 @ 4:25 pm )
Greg is referring to this post.
Comment by Amy Scott (March 2, 2006 @ 4:32 pm )
I love reading your HONEST posts each day. As the mother of 5 youngs ones, i too get the “how do you do it?” and response is usually, “well, really i don’t!” I, too remember the early days of one. Then there were two. I used to really think two was hard…getting things done, going places, etc. But now if for some reason three are gone and i only have two with me….it’s like vacation!!!!! You learn as you go. Make adjustments, mellow, etc. I’m thinking by the time i have a whole busload, i’ll finally have the hang of it! praying for you and yours.
Comment by Angie (March 3, 2006 @ 2:01 pm )
after posting my original comments, i took a few minutes to read the others….do we seriously think amy is asking for tips on bathing babies? no, she’s giving us (and herself) permission to focus on the little hearts, not little perfect details! And as for the cooking up some food and freezing it ahead of time….GREAT IDEA! But one thing is missing….that’s a suggestion for some else to do!! so if there’s someone within driving distance of amy…..GO FOR IT!!!!!!!!
Comment by Angie (March 3, 2006 @ 2:10 pm )
Thanks Amy! I could sooo relate to many things you said! ~Heather
Comment by Heather in WI (March 3, 2006 @ 2:27 pm )
What a great blog! Stumbled upon your site via Challies.com - I’ll definitely be back.
Comment by Amy (March 3, 2006 @ 2:31 pm )
So true. I have noticed that with each baby I have less and less STUFF. Most of it is so unnecessary. I cringe when I look at friends’ baby registries. But then I remember that I was once that new mom, who thought I needed everything in Babies R’ Us!
Hope you’re doing well…. maybe there’s a new Scott in the world?????
May the Lord bless you.
Comment by Rebekah (March 3, 2006 @ 10:32 pm )
Amy - what a wonderful post and what wonderful responses! Yes, with each child you learn to do without or be more simple. I am often asked “How do you do it all?” My answer is “I DON’T!”. We have 9 children at home - and they all do things. My boys can cook and do laundry just as well as the girls. My twin girls (14) change more diapers than I do. I divide up the younger ones with older ones to help out with baths. I have a new “joke” at home. My children have very much tired of fish sticks. I used to make them every Wednesday night for something easy before church. Now all I have to say is “Tonight we are having fish sticks” and I have NUMEROUS volunteers to make supper so we don’t have fish sticks!
Also - I had 3 under 3 AND then we went to 5 under 4 1/2 - when we had the twins. Yes, it’s hard - it can be very nutty. But you learn to let some things go. We ended up having an older homeschooled girl come over in the afternoons to help me out or to let me take a nap. In exchange, I taught her how to sew!
Still praying for you Amy.
Loni
Comment by Loni (March 4, 2006 @ 12:51 am )
I feel much better about not getting it all done now (and you are right, my garden is full of weeds, although my house is also full of junk!)
Good luck with #5.
Comment by Tamsin (March 4, 2006 @ 5:55 am )
So true!! Before I had my fourth we had gotten rid of all of our baby things. Right before I was due our moms group decided to throw a baby shower for myself and another mom.
They asked us to list what we needed. My list consisted of “Lots of diapers, a few sleepers, some onesies, and lots of burp cloths”
Her list was HUGE and contained everything from tubs to swings, to mobiles…I got rid of all the excess after my second child.
Comment by Sheri (March 4, 2006 @ 10:31 am )
I live this tread! It is impossible to tell a first time mom she actually doesn’t NEED a baby bath or anti-scratch mitten for her new baby
I think all you need are care seat. some diapers (preferably cloth) . onesies or T-shirts, sleepers if winter and Mmmmm… can’t think of too much more!
Comment by Linda (March 10, 2006 @ 10:34 am )
I know this is an old post, but I had to say…thank you! I feel like such a bad mom, thinking my baby is the only dirty baby out there! I think of everyone else’s babies with their sweet baby-bath-smelling heads, and I’m afraid to let anyone see or hold mine, for fear they’ll smell all the spit-up!
Most of the moms I’m thinking of, I guess are probably first time moms. But a few aren’t…one has seven, and she still bathes the baby every day! There must be something wrong with me–I hate bathing my babies. They never sit still! It’s a wrestling match to keep them from drowning themselves! I’m so glad to find out there are a lot of other stinky babies out there besides mine!
Comment by mommaroo2 (July 14, 2006 @ 1:17 pm )
[...] 1. I continue to redefine “me” time. Bathing the baby IS “me” time. Washing the sleep out of his eyes and softly rubbing a washcloth over his peely-skinned little hands is cathartic. Marvelling over his teeny tiny nails and rejoicing as his hands plump up brings great contentment to my heart. (If you haven’t read Amy’s very funny post on baby’s bath, you simply must.) [...]
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