Only five
Tuesday, Apr 18, 2006
It’s not like I was eavesdropping because eavesdropping is rude. But I couldn’t help overhearing a conversation, as our whole family was parked in the bleachers to cheer on our favorite baseball player. The conversers sat behind us, and I wasn’t going to give up my front row seat just to avoid hearing a simple conversation. You know?
So, the two women are talking about a family they know with six (!) kids. I am pleased to note that everything they had to say about the large family was very positive. They note the wide age range of the kids and one remarks, “Yes, well, if she’s going to have sooo many, at least she had the common sense to space them out—and be done with six.” The other woman agrees.
So, of course, this amuses me, not offends me. You can’t have a lot kids and be the kind that gets uptight too easily. It’s just not good. So, I counted up my brood while I sat there. Yep. Still only five– which is one less than six.
Whew. That was close. (I think I struck out on the spacing, though.)
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Tee hee.
And I just have four–one less than five.
Comment by Andrea (April 18, 2006 @ 12:11 pm )
Well, we have six–and they are spaced out. Glad someone approves.
Don’t know if we have the sense to quit, though!
Comment by At A Hen's Pace (April 18, 2006 @ 1:25 pm )
“don’t know if we have the sense to quit, though!”
that’s the spirit!
yay for enthusiastic mommies.
Comment by Laur (April 18, 2006 @ 1:35 pm )
We had our first five in seven years same as you. Then a seven year “spacing”. Then our precious little Elaina came along after a few miscarriages. People assume she is an oops all the time. And of course we have the sense now to “be more careful”. I would never have guessed that my family would be as it is. The first five came so quickly that I just assumed we’d have 10. But God’s ways are not our ways.
Comment by Spunky (April 18, 2006 @ 1:45 pm )
We are expecting #6 and don’t know if they are spaced enough to the satisfaction of anyone (our oldest is eight). Probably not. Shrug.
Comment by mopsy (April 18, 2006 @ 2:28 pm )
We are expecting #6, also, but I think I win on the spacing! When the baby comes we will have 15dd, 12ds, 7ds, 5ds, 19 mo. ds. I found that people really thought we had gone over the edge when I got pregnant with #5. The stares increased. Now I love them…I am proud of my family!
Comment by Nancy Palmer (April 18, 2006 @ 2:47 pm )
I only have 3…I would love a huge passel of kids but we cannot have anymore. Not that we cannot have anymore because someone got fixed, we seriously cannot have anymore children because my husband is a carrier of a wacky genetic disease, and future children just are not in the cards for us, unless adopted.
And, with adopting, I can pretty much be guaranteed the age space will not be an issue!!!
Hey, I get comments all the time about having “so many kids” with just three. I guess it is because of the one-kid-per family society we live in these days?
Comment by Lindsey (April 18, 2006 @ 2:54 pm )
I often have people saying, “Are these ALL your children?!” I think, good gracious I only have three!! My oldest was three years old when our third child was born, so perhaps it’s the closeness in age that impresses them more than the amount of children
Comment by Amy (April 18, 2006 @ 2:58 pm )
See, I think having them close together is the smart thing to do! You’re in the baby groove and you just keep on going. Going back to that stage after leaving it would be much harder. I only have 2 (DH’s decision, not mine!), but they are 17 months apart. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Comment by Rhonda (April 18, 2006 @ 6:40 pm )
Only five here too– but I think you’re exactly right. You can’t have a lot kids and be the kind that gets uptight too easily. It’s just not good. So true. It’s best to just smile and roll with the punches.
Comment by Michelle- This One's for the Girls (April 18, 2006 @ 7:57 pm )
I’m pegnant w/# 9. I guess I have absolutely NOOOO sense. Beyond hope for sure. Ohh well…
Comment by kerri (April 18, 2006 @ 8:10 pm )
I’ve experienced the flip side. I live in a community with many large families where there are quite a few families with more than 6 kids. During a long period of trying to conceive I would frequently hear not-so-nice comments about people who choose to limit their family size for convenience sake and here I sat with my one boy and one girl. I understand their meaning since I, too, want a quiver full. Now I try to never judge. It can be hard but we don’t know other’s hearts. Thanks again for the reminder.
Comment by Emily (April 18, 2006 @ 8:29 pm )
it doesn’t really matter, as long as you’re happy. they’re gifts from god no matter how they’re spaced. God bless!
Comment by Tey (April 18, 2006 @ 9:49 pm )
I only have three, but they’re certainly spaced most improperly (the twins are 2 1/2, and their little sister is 8 mos.) and at any rate, at age 23 I am WAY too young to be having children.
The strange thing is, when it was just the twins, it seems that I was not a bit to young for them to of course be IVF babies.
Um… no. Actually, I’m having babies while I’m at the height of my fertility. Strange as that may seem.
Comment by Elena (April 18, 2006 @ 11:00 pm )
I’ve noticed that when you’re expecting #3, that’s ok. Number 4 is questionable. With the fifth, they’re frantically trying to talk you out of this insanity and bring you back into the fold of normalcy. BUT, with #6, suddenly the silence became deafening. You are no longer salvageable. Now, they look at you and shake their heads as though you are something akin to a gumball machine - someone sticks a quarter in and out shoots a baby!!! Weehaa. With the 7th,though - especially at my age, the responses we got were comical. Double takes, performed equal to the creme de la creme of theatre, and comments that were something akin to: “Are you SICK?” : ) (I thought, but refrained from saying, YES sick of all the dumb questions.)
I love it when someone says “Are ALL these yours?” I tend to look around, as though puzzled by their question and say - “You mean JUST these?” (It’s even better when one of the kids are some where else. Then I can say, “Oh NO! Our other/s are over there.”) ; )
This past summer my kiddos were involved in a summer drama program - while we were standing in line, waiting to go in, these 2 gals in front of me said, “Look, there’s those kids I was telling you about…the ones from that HUGE family.” (Ahh, says I, without looking up, can’t be my kids, we don’t have a HUGE family.) Second mom, “They look normal. I mean, they’re even in clean clothes.” First mom, “Yeah, my daughter says that they came to all the rehearsals and that they were nice enough, but just that there were a lot of them. There are 4 (add incredulous tone here) of them in this play alone.” Hmmm, thinks me - *I* have 4 children in this performance…so I look up. OH, I guess I DO have a HUGE family. WHEW!! Thank goodness they were all wearing clean clothes that week. ; ) ; )
Comment by Dawn C (April 19, 2006 @ 5:42 am )
I came across your site and found it so fun to read. In my opinion, More children, the merrier! I only have one now, but Lord-willing, I would like at least 2 more.
Comment by Janet (April 19, 2006 @ 8:27 am )
I remember once when we were on holidays and went shopping for some children’s clothes. We had our three and two year old in the double stroller, and our fourth month old baby in another stroller. A snarky sales lady came over and said, “Everyone (strong emphasis on that word) is out shopping today?” My husband smiled at her sweetly and replied in a completely serious voice, “No actually, we left the other five at home.”
When we would take the kids for a walk after my daughter was born, the two boys in a double stroller plus my daughter in another seemed to get a lot of reactions. “My, you’ve been busy,” was a common comment. We were soooo tempted to get out some of my maternity clothes and stick a pillow in my shirt while out for walks, just to see people’s responses and have a good laugh!
Comment by Amy (April 19, 2006 @ 10:14 am )
When we were expecting #5, a lot of people would say things like–a girl this time, right? As if it were only LEGAL for me to be preggo AGAIN if it were finally my girl.
One time someone said after she was born that I must’ve been trying for a girl all along. I had had enough. I said, “Now that would be kinda stupid, wouldn’t it? I could’ve ended up with a dozen boys!” Of course, I went on to say that we just love children and it didn’t matter either way and going on statistics–we figured we’d only have boys.
She’s 20 months now and we’re hopin’ to be preggo again any time (God’s spacing, not mine.) I wonder what sort of comments they’ll have for me now? ;0)
Comment by Lyn (April 19, 2006 @ 10:48 am )
We’re on our way to #2 (due in September). Sometimes I wonder how I manage with just one (and, most of the time, he’s a pretty well-behaved, good-natured toddler.) Maybe mommy’s the one who needs the attitude adjustment . . ., ya think?
anyway, we’d like to have more, and I know we need to leave it up to God, but I can’t help thinking about trying to space them out properly (i.e. I want to give my body time to recover, and yet I’m not getting any younger, and I can see the upside to being in the “baby mode” all at one time). I guess that’s yet another area where I need to learn to turn it over and trust God. Thanks for sharing your experiences.
Comment by Michelle (April 19, 2006 @ 11:53 am )
My first and only (so far) is 4 weeks old today. Being the first and only (so far) people are very positive, but I already see it coming…first of all, I get the people that ask if I’m done. What?! I’m 25 years old and I only have one child. Of course I’m not done!! Then, I have people that ask when I’m going to have the next child, assuming that once I have the socially acceptable 2, I’ll quit. Ummm….no. They’re rather surprised when I tell them that hubby and I would like 4. (I’d settle for more, but hubby thinks 4 is ideal and I’m at peace with that.) Some get snotty and tell me that I’ll be sick of it after 2.
So, now when people ask me how many kids I want, I say, “One at a time.”
ladyscott
Comment by ladyscott (April 20, 2006 @ 7:26 am )
Well I have six, and I have no idea if they are spaced correctly! 11, 9, 5, 4, 2, and 8 weeks! We were out to lunch yesterday and received several comments on the children… “are they all yours, how do you do it, I can’t handle my one child,” and finally I heard a new one … “how do afford to buy them all clothes?” I was a bit taken aback by that comment…and couldn’t really think of a response! Of course afterwards I thought, well God has always provided for us! I am always amused at these comments, because when you have a lot of kids you have to be a little laid back!
Toni
who loves your website and will also be at the FPEA convention
Comment by Toni Anderson (April 20, 2006 @ 9:42 am )
I used to be one of those people who looked at large families and stared (who knows why..I have four siblings). God truely has a sense of humor. My husband and I had a “plan” to have four children “appropriately” spaced over 7 years or so. WELL…at 27 and married for 5 years I am now the mother of a 28 month old daughter a 10 month old son and pregnant with #3 due around August 11. THREE UNDER THREE!!! Never in my plan. Now that I have it I wouldn’t do it any other way. I have learned that whether you are TRYING to have a baby or NOT TRYING to have a baby GOD decides when that little one will come!
Imagine the stares and comments I receive with a two year old grasping one hand, a baby on the hip and a big pregnant belly… Of course the first thing I am asked is if I am pregant again!!! DO I LOOK LIKE IT??!!! Then of course everyone tells me how great it will be that all three of my children will be close in age. As if I am not allowed to have anymore after #3.
Comment by CS (April 20, 2006 @ 11:32 am )
Toni, Hope to run into you at the convention.
Comment by Amy Scott (April 20, 2006 @ 2:27 pm )
We have gotten our share of comments, too. Most of them complimentary, but my favorite (?) was “Do you know what causes that?” by some man in a grocery check out line. We only had three at the time! I told him we did, and that we liked it. I was so flabbergasted it just popped out–like the next two kids! My experience has been similar to paragraph #15.
Comment by Heather (April 20, 2006 @ 4:57 pm )
Hey I just came by through another site, umm I forgot whose….. anyway. We only have 3, at the moment, and we got all kinds of comments from my family when I was pregnant with #3. They believed two was plenty. Now my hubby’s family is totally different it doesn’t faze them at all. Of couse he is the fourth of six and all his married siblings have at least 3 kids……
Comment by Maria (April 20, 2006 @ 6:26 pm )
we have 4 so far. the youngest is 10weeks, the oldest 5 1/2. after the first 2, boy, then girl, 18mo apart we got a lot of “oh one of each, i guess you are done now”
now we get “i bet you are looking forward to sending them off to school” “well, actually, we are planning to homeschool” “OOOOHHH” translate, “now we really think you are crazy”
what can i say, we enjoy children, want to spend time with them, and are looking forward to #5 whenever that may be!
Comment by Anne (April 25, 2006 @ 12:20 pm )
My husband and I have 4 children—6, 4, 2, and 8 months. Two weeks ago we were visiting Boulder, Colorado. This was probably our first mistake. Although it is a beautiful city, we don’t really fit into the yuppie-hippie, volvo-driving, trust-fund crowd (sorry if I offended anyone). Anyway, I was walking with my four children on the city’s bike trail and woman in her mid-sixties was running past. She stopped and said that all too familiar question, “Are these all yours?” First of all, although I am a brunette and they have their father’s blond hair (they do have my sweet personality) they look exactly alike. I smiled and said yes, they are all mine. She says, “What are you, Catholic?” I was speechless—not a usual trait. I mean really, the children were being quite good. They weren’t pushing each other or spitting. No one was crying and they were politely staying in their lane of the trail! No one had asked why is that girl’s hair purple and don’t those things in her nose hurt? Once I caught my breath I (somewhat)sweetly smiled and replied, “No ma’am, I am a Passionate Protestant!”
Comment by Michelle (May 5, 2006 @ 4:57 pm )
Isn’t it too bad that people just don’t mind their own business? Babies are wonderful, children are wonderful, grandkids are the best. We had only 2 boys and decided that we would stop there to be able to give them the best of life; after we were too old to have more, we realized that we were stupid and should have had more. And all along, it’s nobody’s business but ours. We now have 4 wonderful grandsons and hope for more. Enjoy your kids - 1 or 21 - the time goes by too quickly no matter what. You’ve got enough love for them all.
Comment by Terri (May 13, 2006 @ 1:41 pm )
OH and Happy Mother’s Day to you all!!!! xo
Comment by Terri (May 13, 2006 @ 1:42 pm )