Looking down at my unpainted toes which rest on grape juice-stained carpet, I realize that there is a price to pay in having children. It isn’t just the sleepless nights, Kid #2’s latest charade, and the time on your knees for their souls—the physical, emotional, and spiritual costs. Kids cost money, too. Furthermore, the more kids you have, the more resources you usually need (though, not nearly what the government says you need).

In an email to Rod Dreher, a reader writes,

…we have generally found that evangelicals are pretty good in identifying worldliness in the church with regard to sexual issues: adultery, fornication, pornography, divorce and the vulgarity of the media. The sin of lust is well recognized and condemned. But with regard to the worldliness of consumerism there is near silence. The sins of greed and envy are virtually ignored. There are prayers for “financial freedom” but this is understood as “God, give us more money so we can pay for all our stuff.”

Reestablishing community, in the family and in larger society, combats the individual’s tendency to think life is all about himself. If one is prone to be excessively self-indulgent or weakened under the influence of our consumerist culture, the larger community is there to remind the individual of his place. If you don’t believe me, then you haven’t tried to hoard the last piece of cake for yourself among a traditional family. You will be found out, and you will be called on the carpet for your indulgence. The concept of a family economy, wherein each member is valued for the gifts and talents that they bring to the table and not just seen in the context of what they cost, is lost on my generation. (This is why children are more regarded as liabilities than as assets.) Too, we work not for its own pleasure, but rather for the stuff we’ll get at the end.

This past week our family worked on several projects, and I caught myself remarking several times, “This is the good life.” Work was the entertainment; tangible progress after many hours labor was the reward. If you give children responsibility for their own little enterprise (as opposed to just using them as free labor and expecting them to be jolly about it), they will develop an appetite for worthwhile projects. We look for ways to match each child’s giftedness with their own domain. As the children get older, I look forward to turning over things to their supervision and expertise.

After the children were tucked in bed last night, my husband and I stood on the front porch. The cool breeze swayed the rocking chairs, the fountain water ran quietly in my flowerbed, and the gardenia scent was strong on the breeze–products both of our family’s toil and of Providence. I told my husband again that this was good, and he agreed.