A few things
Saturday, May 6, 2006
My lack of posting of late is due to more than just being busy. It happened this afternoon that I was grumbling about the lack of efficiency with a certain project my daughter and I were involved in. It was slow going. So my husband says, “You know, I recently read something about that very thing.”
Oh great. He’s going to quote me. But just when you think it’s bad that your spouse is watching you, try having a handful of kids eyeing your every move. It is not just the Lord who is watching. (“Oh Lord, You have searched me and known me; You know my sitting down and my rising up.”) It is good to be a part of a first-rate family. You are never lonely.
Speaking of family, I love having my church family as well. I rarely leave a church dinner without the kitchen crew hunting me down to pawn off the leftovers. Just this morning, my husband returned from the men’s breakfast with a huge casserole. People stop me in the parking lot to hand over their goods. “Oh, honey, we can’t eat all this. You take it!” I try to make sure that my kids aren’t scraggly looking. No, I think it’s just because there’s so many of us. I hope.
Speaking of food, the little one is chunking up. He’s nine weeks now. Someone requested a picture, and I will happily oblige.
And just so you know that nobody goes hungry around here…
Speaking of working and eating, a nice reader, Danica, sent me this email regarding the discussion on allowances. I mentioned earlier that I was inclined against it, but that I really hadn’t given it much thought. She weighs in with her thoughts on the subject.
I’m the oldest of nine kids, and we learned to work at rather early age–right about the time my mom was tearing out her hair trying to keep up with the toddlers and babies! When young, we were given rewards for a week, or maybe a month, of faithfully accomplished chores–maybe got to pick out the movie for family night, or got to do errands with Daddy for an afternoon. But when questions of allowance and all the other kids we knew came up, my Dad replied that neither he nor Mom got paid for their contribution to the family effort; if we’d like to start paying Mom for our schooling, laundry, cooking, shopping, etc, then he might consider paying us for our [meager] efforts. (That quieted us down pretty quickly!) We knew early on that we were a family unit, all expected to pull weight, and in turn, all entitled to the pride of having a wonderful family.
One thing, though, that I think was really impacting for me: Since we got no allowance, and any money we earned was expected to be put in a savings account, my parents paid for our every expense. … I can’t begin to tell you how deeply secure that made me. Somehow that seemed like God to me–my earthly dad making sure I had all the money I needed every time I walked out the door. Because of that, we learned to be responsible (how we hated to think we would ever waste a penny of my dad’s hard-earned money!), but we also learned that Daddy would take care of us, no matter what.
Speaking of allowances, I wonder if we should grant one to the Bible society that sent me this in the mail.
It’s supposed to help me remember to pray. And send money. I don’t know what’s worse— these shirts or that my husband’s immediate and only reaction was, “Hey, we gotta send that to Purgatorio!”
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EEK! Errrr, I mean, what a lovely shirt.
Comment by marc (May 6, 2006 @ 10:19 pm )
I love your blog! You always give me something about which and I can think and laugh.
Comment by Leslie (May 7, 2006 @ 11:49 am )
I’m so glad your dolls are well fed too! lol
9 weeks already!!! Sure does fly by–er, well, when it isn’t your own 9 weeks that is. How’s the sleep going?
Comment by Lyn (May 7, 2006 @ 2:00 pm )
I only have three kids, with the fourth on the way, but we are always given the left overs too. I gladly take them, because it means a little cooking break for me.
Comment by Candy (May 7, 2006 @ 2:50 pm )
Hee hee,you could always try and sell it on ebay!!!!
At our church the leftovers are always given to the families, especially those who may not have much anyway. It is lovely isn’t it!
Comment by Susanna (May 7, 2006 @ 3:00 pm )
(PS. I don’t really care if people do allowances or don’t…I just want to present another side)…
My husband does allowances with our children and we LOVE it. He started with them when our oldest was three, and has a detailed budget that they have to abide by, including dividing up their total into specified percentages—–money for savings, money for giving, and money for spending.
With their spending allotment, they budget and buy pretty much all extra goodies. My oldest, for example, wanted to go swimming recently and so saved until she could buy passes for teh whole family, plus snacks.
We cut her a deal and offered to pay for gas for free, but that’s not always the case!
They buy birthday presents for others (including family) out of their “spending money,” etc, too, etc.
I was really against allowances at first (using some of the very arguments used on this post and the comments, might I add) but went with my husband’s decision in support.
Well, now I am a huge fan, at least of the way my husband does it. It is just awesome! They have such an amazing grasp of money and budgeting, and can spot a sale sign a mile away, can smell a cheap marketing gimmick, and MORE! LOL… I think they love thrift stores more than I do, might I add…
They are also amazingly good at counting money and dealing with change, again, products of an education that includes weekly budgeting and finances in it’s weekly “curriculum.”
I don’t think that one *has* to have an allowance to do this, but it sure makes for a regular hands-on educational experience in finances.
My husband’s family was really good about this, even getting their children checking accounts at early ages and expecting them to keep their checkbook balanced, etc… Whereas my home as a child was a “big spender” type where money just appeared to do whatever we wanted it to do when we needed it. Jeff learned careful budgeting skills at age eight, whereas I learned them at age eighteen. Hm.
I’m glad Jeff came from such a great background, too, as his wife!
And now our young children are already better equipped with handling finances that most adults are in today’s world…and I love it! 
Comment by molly (May 7, 2006 @ 4:38 pm )
I have had some of the same concerns about allowances. We never had one growing up because we all understood that the family just worked together, not for pay, but because we were family.
However, we wanted a way to teach our children about money (and avoid the “I wants” at the store), so we decided on two methods of doling out “income” to them. First of all, they take care of the recycling, and in return get to keep the money (5 cents per here in HI). They rinse the bottles out, count them and deliver them on recycling day. They divide their money into tithe, savings and spending. Secondly, I got a great idea from Lisa Welchel’s Creative Corrections book that I modified to fit our family. When I tell my kids to do a job, like clean their rooms, I will reward them for “diligence”. In other words, if they finish in a timely manner, they may (or may not) receive a reward of a dime or some nickles. This helps reinforce God’s natural law of diligent work leading to prosperity, and it is an awesome motivator to my children.
BTW, your children are adorable.
Comment by Amanda (May 7, 2006 @ 7:30 pm )
He has done a five hour stretch a couple times this week. I’d be tickled if he’d do it twice in a row (2 five hour snips). We’re managing well, though. Thanks for asking.
Molly and Amanda, Thank you for the input.
Comment by Amy Scott (May 7, 2006 @ 10:08 pm )
Oooh, 5 hours… liveable, at least.
Hey, regarding the “anti-allowance because that’s teaching children only to do chorse if they get paid,” no one gets an allowance because they do chores, at least not in our house. We do the chores because we’re part of the family. We get the allowance because we’re part of the family. EVERY once in a while there will be an extra job that a parent will make available to any entrepeneurs willing to work it, but usually work is done simply because the whole family pitches in.
Okay, enough babbling out of me…
Comment by molly (May 7, 2006 @ 10:54 pm )
Your children are SO cute- thanks for sharing pictures! The picture of your daughter feeding her baby is a very familiar sight in our own house! I love it!
~Stacy
Comment by reforming mama (May 7, 2006 @ 11:54 pm )
“We do the chores because we’re part of the family. We get the allowance because we’re part of the family.” This is my take on the allowence thing - although we haven’t started that up yet. DS just asked “what is an allowence” the other day though so…
Amy I have a question for you (and all your readers). I’ve noticed that your oldest son seems to be pretty chivalrous towards his little sisters. Any tips on how to teach that? Our 4year old son has suddenly gotten very …physical…with his little sister. Just things like patting her WAY too hard or “bumping” into her. Things like that. I want him to be protective and kind as a big brother (I’m realistic enough to know that he might not be perfect ALL the time, BTW) and not the aggrivating kind of brother I had:) ANy advice?
Comment by Shannon Miller (May 7, 2006 @ 11:54 pm )
Oh, Amy–THANKS for giving me yet another internet addiction with Purgatorio! Now THERE’s a truly ecumenical website–something for Catholics and Protestants alike!
Hilarious!
Looking at your delightful wee one, it strikes me that he really looks like your oldest–is this my imagination (I’ve seen only a couple of pics of your kids), or is the resemblance really there? And do they both take after your husband?
Now, if I could just figure out a way to get people to give us childless couples their leftovers so we could get out of cooking every once in awhile . . . .
Comment by Mrs. P. (May 8, 2006 @ 8:48 am )
Well, we are a family that does the allowance and here’s why. When Dad leaves for work each day, he does his job throughly, without complaining and in a timely fashion and he earns a paycheck for his efforts.
I want my boys to understand that a good worker receives a paycheck. Our boys only earn $.20 a day and only if their jobs are done right away, with the right attitude and done reasonably well.
We are also trying to teach them about dilligence, savings, giving and responsibility.
Example: My 6 year old had a baseball glove he left in the yard. Well, the dog ate the glove to a non-useable fashion.
He was allowed to get a new glove, but he had to use his money to pay for it. He could only get a glove he could afford.
He is much more diligent now about making sure that glove is in it’s proper place now.
Comment by Julie (May 8, 2006 @ 8:48 am )
My oldest has olive skin, and my youngest has pink skin. All our babies kind of look the same, though, like Scott babies. Our 4th most resembles my husband. In fact, I had strangers say, “I know exactly who your husband is just by looking at your baby!” Nobody looks like me, which is good, huh? #3 most closely resembles me–she has my eyes. But I think she’s going to be tall. Lucky her, it stinks never being able to buy clothes off the rack without hemming them.
Shannon, I’ll write down a few thoughts when I get more minutes. (Can you send me some in the mail?)
I knew as soon as I wrote that that I’d regret it. It was a long night last night…. no five hour stretch by a long shot.
Thanks for the thoughts on allowances, All. Sounds like a few of you (ok, Molly) are trying to persuade me to open the purse strings. We do pay for big jobs, and the kids all buy their own loot. (Doesn’t anyone around here read my blog?)
We try to reevaluate when a chosen path stops working. I guarentee that nobody will leave our home not knowing the value of a dollar. We are Scotts, afterall.
:) 
Comment by Amy Scott (May 8, 2006 @ 5:09 pm )
I recall being told the same thing about “Terrible Twos.” Expectations are a powerful thing.
Nope…better!
Comment by Amy Scott (May 15, 2006 @ 6:53 pm )