Motivation
Tuesday, Jun 13, 2006
My husband doesn’t realize that I was still listening when I left his class to tend the baby. Sometimes I will watch (or listen as the case may be) when he doesn’t know, and like watching sleeping children, it is a good thing to do. As I was listening to him teach, he said something that caught my attention: We are saved by grace, but so often we live by works. When really, we ought to live by His grace as well.
He was speaking last week on “Perseverance of the Saints,” and I was glad to be reminded of God’s hand in bringing His saints to the end. We will see Him one day, and it will be of His own good grace. This thought came to mind as I read this:
I am a 28-year-old homemaker that gets easily overwhelmed, depressed, and/or lazy pretty easily. I have a 4½-year-old son and a 1-year-old daughter. I have been married to my high school sweetheart for 8 years.
I read about becoming a hard worker in the home, raising many children, homeschooling, learning the art of homemaking (skills to employ in the home) and hospitality and I want to sink in my chair and take a nap. I read and read and take in a ton of info but rarely put it into practice. I have a college degree and yet I feel so incapable or at least just lazy with my home life… Do you have any idea what can help me?
Another nap.
What does God’s grace have to do with the small dailyness of life? Everything, really. There are many tips and tricks for motivating ourselves to get the job done: laying out clothes the night before, wearing shoes in the house (I don’t know why this helps me…), making lists, and creating some routine so that the children have a sense for “what’s next.” Women of the “old school” seem to have a better propensity to get things done, as opposed to our generation who grew up on a steady TV diet that encouraged us to, “Have it your way.”
Doing what we ought is a simple thing, really, yet it falls in the category of “easier said than done.” Motivation is difficult sometimes. Life is filled with choices and we choose that which we most want to do. Shall I fold the laundry while reading to the toddler and bouncing Baby Cakes or shall I turn on a video for the kids and take a nap? Hard choices. I know this because I don’t always choose what I ought.
But back to grace. So often women will use these common things as a measure of our spiritual conditions. If my girls don matching bonnets while they recite their catechism in between bites of homemade bread, then I must be doing a good job. When really, Jesus tells us there is another measure entirely in Matthew 22:36-38: “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: ” ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.”
If we love Him, we will obey Him. This might work itself out in the things you describe. But the first question is this, “How can I love Him more?” Every glass of juice poured is a chance to do it for Him. There is no greater motivator in daily, common life than loving Christ more.
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Amen and amen, Amy! I’ve been having thoughts along these lines lately also.
I’ve also been wondering how it is that we who have been shown such “Amazing Grace” can forget it, be harsh with ourselves if we don’t do everything absolutely perfect, AND how we can forget this grace when it comes to our children and the demands we so often place on them. When we are overwhelmed, it is so easy to demand too much and be upset at them when they don’t comply. But is this what motivates them to love US, so that they will obey us? Christ draws us to Himself in love and grace and in so doing, causes us to love Him more. This is the model we should follow as parents. Yet it is so easy to forget.
Grace, grace, yes, grace. May the Lord help us to remember to rely on His grace in the dailyness of our lives…especially in our dealings with the sweet blessings He has given us. It is not our striving for vain glory in perfectionism that will draw us closer to Him, nor will it cause our children to want to love Him more.
Gee…I should just point people here for my blog entry for today! Sorry to be so long-winded!
Comment by Amy Howard (June 13, 2006 @ 3:42 pm )
What a great reminder of the great calling that is given to us as wives and mothers. This poor girl wrote what probably all of have thought at one time or another(I know I have!) That is, the temptation to look at others who seem to “have it all together” and think that we’re failing. Living by grace and needing grace daily is what gets me through, but I have to constantly be reminded of that. Thanks!
Comment by Anita (June 13, 2006 @ 4:49 pm )
Wow! That was a great blog entry! I’ve bopped in a read your blog pretty frequently lately and you always have such nice things to share. I’m going to be gettimg married soon and leaving the external career world for the life of a maker-of-the-home and I am scared to death of laziness creeping in. With no children yet and “just” the home-making skills to develop and hone, and a husband to serve, I need to keep serving HIM in the forefront of my mind so I don’t become a TV junky.
I wish I could plaster the walls of my mind (if not my physical home) with such wise words as these.
THANK YOU!!
Comment by Andrea (June 13, 2006 @ 5:15 pm )
Amy,
I’m a “lurker” but a frequent visitor of your blog. I rarely comment on those blogs I read (probably should more often), but I just wanted to say thanks for this entry. I still consider myself a “newlywed” (1 year, 5 months) and often struggle with guilt or confusion over my role in the home as I care for it (and hubby) , and go to school, and work.
I agree wholeheartedly that love is to be the modivator for all we do, not guilt. Thanks for the post.
~Andrea
Comment by Andrea (June 13, 2006 @ 5:30 pm )
Thank you for the beautiful expression of grace, Amy. As a recovering perfectionist (:o)), I’m really longing to have these truths of God’s grace sink deep in my heart. I always appreciate your encouragements to do the daily things unto the Lord.
Miriam
Comment by Miriam (June 13, 2006 @ 6:51 pm )
I think it can be easy to read blogs by mothers and think that they must have it all together and have the perfect homeschool, clean and organized house or whatever it may be. We must also remember that most people don’t share all the things they struggle with openly. This is a great reminder that we all fall short and need God’s grace.
Comment by Wendy (June 13, 2006 @ 8:13 pm )
I LOVE this post! So often we judge our worth and value in Christ by what we do and achieve, rather than by His measures, which may often not be the world’s measures, easily seen with clearly ascribed value. If we are walking in Him, we are doing exactly what He called us to do. Seeking Him FIRST is the key, eh?
Thank you for this reminder.
Valerie
Comment by Valerie (June 13, 2006 @ 8:58 pm )
Great quote! I love that. Pretty cool fella you have there Amy.
I have a thought for your 28 year old homemaker & others like her. I battled the same… “homemaker gets easily overwhelmed, depressed, and/or lazy pretty easily … and I want to sink in my chair and take a nap” for almost 12 years.
I have read more then I’ve done, made progress some weeks and tanked the next. I’ve learned grace and choosing. I’ve learned to make lists & routines and trudge through them, with joy, of course. I’ve learned spiritual disciples and what it means to really pray. I’ve learned to just be, laugh and enjoy. I’ve learned to the best of my ability to live with grace as flies fall into the ointment. But you know what? I never overcame the “I want to sink in my chair and take a nap” thing.
For the longest time I couldn’t figure if God was just grilling me to really step up my faith, I was tired because I have 4 kids under 12 (of course then I read about Amy with 5 under 8 and really felt guilty for whining) or I was missing some great spiritual truth that was holding me back, keeping me lazy and depressed. From diet to discipleship, I prayed, learned and lived. I still had the same problem.
Turns out I have Lyme’s disease with a touch of fibromyalgia. I laughed when I heard that a huge portion of Lyme’s patients are diagnosed by their shrink because they think they’re going crazy. Yup, been there, bought and wear the t-shirt. It was a huge relief to know I’m not some spiritual reject. I’ve been in treatment for 6 months now and the light at the end of this gal’s tunnel is definitely NOT the train.
My suggestion is simple: Obviously, seeking God’s wisdom & understanding for what you need first, is best. If you’re struggling with being a wife & mom because you just don’t know how, learn - read, ask, listen, do. Expect it to be hard for awhile, not years, because any new skill takes time to be comfortable with & become automatic. If you’re still not getting it, seek God to see if there’s something in your spiritual life that’s not right. If it’s been more then a year or two and you’re still struggling, head to your favorite health practitioner to find out if your health is suffering in some way - especially if you’re eating organic & taking lots of herbs.
Feeling lazy, being depressed and overwhelmed all the time is not healthy. Not allowing grace in your life isn’t healthy either, only in a different way. Hope deferred makes a heart sink. Not seeing a way out of your present trouble, whether by learning a new skill or getting your spiritual life in order, is depressing. I encourage you to seek God because he truly delivers!
Comment by Janel Messenger (June 13, 2006 @ 9:48 pm )
Thank you so much for that entry. I had been thinking about these very things.
I have to remind myself about allowing grace to rule in my role as wife and mother, sometimes its hard. I also have to remember His grace too, and that nothing I do will give me that peace like grace will.
Comment by Kim (June 13, 2006 @ 10:22 pm )
OK–I’m glad I’m not the only person in the world who thinks shoes help.
Comment by brietta (June 13, 2006 @ 10:38 pm )
You are truly inspired, Amy. What a great reminder for those of us who get bogged (or sometimes blogged-comparing ourselves to others) down in life. I really enjoy your insight and you are very lucky to be married to such an insightful husband as well. Thanks for your words of wisdom.
Ann
Comment by Ann (June 13, 2006 @ 10:42 pm )
Thank you for this Amy! I’ve been thinking along these lines lately as well if I don’t spend every moment of my day off the couch and doing something productive with the house or little one. I’ve been finding grace in the small things I do and that my focus on my “righteousness” or doing it all right takes away from what should be my only focus - His righteousness and perfection. The change in focus has given my life freedom to live in grace. And as my focus is on Him and less on me and what I’m accomplishing, I’m overwhelmed by His presence and all the things I’ve been hearing Him say these past few days. It brings peace even on those lazy days.
Comment by Laura (June 14, 2006 @ 9:59 am )
As one of the few guys who lurks around your site, I often feel like I’m outside the door of the ladies Sunday School class.
Your posts are always a blessing but I’m really here for the recipes!
How’s that toe?
Comment by Tim (June 14, 2006 @ 10:05 am )
The Proverbs 31 Husband
Amy Scott at Amy’s Humble Musings introduces herself as an “aspiring Proverbs 31 lady.” Much has been written on Proverbs 31:11-31 and many sermons have been preached on the topic of the virtuous woman. However, my thoughts have ha…
Trackback by TheIrvins (June 14, 2006 @ 11:09 am )
Bearable. It is the pinky one this time, so it’s not as bad.
Comment by Amy (June 14, 2006 @ 12:15 pm )
Lovely and true. Enjoyed this post, Amy!
Comment by sprittibee (June 14, 2006 @ 1:07 pm )
wow. that was beautiful.
thank you for trusting God to use you through this blog.
Comment by Susan (June 14, 2006 @ 3:47 pm )
I just started reading your blog a couple weeks ago. I’m a college student from a large family — I may not be living there most of the year, but I love the home and fervently desire to be a homemaker myself someday! Thanks for your great posts. Especially for this one: your last paragraph was just what I needed to hear today. May the Lord richly bless you and your family!
Comment by Daphne (June 15, 2006 @ 7:17 pm )
Amy, thank you for sharing this! - so encouraging.
Comment by MM (June 16, 2006 @ 2:23 pm )