R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Sunday, Jul 9, 2006
It takes a special kind of man to be married to a woman who shops at fabric stores, but it’s not like I begrudge my husband his Home Depot. My husband insists that “The Spirit of Sleep” overtakes him as he steps foot inside a fabric store. As soon as opens his mouth to protest, a yawn assails him mid-word. It’s quite amazing how he can do an exact repeat performance every time.
Thankfully, in the town we moved to five years ago, the fabric store is right next to the home improvement store. So, it’s been several years since I’ve had to subject him to regular stops. Usually, he just drops me off, and I do my thing. You have to make concessions in a marriage, and I’ve learned not to take along my husband on these kind of things. He just doesn’t appreciate a good-quality Waverly decorator fabric in the same way that I don’t value a clear, true, S4S piece of oak. We’re even, I guess you could say.
I remember the day that I really ruined it for myself. We were on vacation in New Jersey somewhere when I spotted a clearance sale at a craft store. I begged him to pull in with promises of “I won’t be long” and “I’ll make this up to you.” The place was a mad house, with people grabbing, shopping, and acting like the consumer gluttons that I rail about so often. In the spirit of divide and conquer, I pointed to some sparkly, twirly sticks on display and asked my husband if he could find me some of that in red.
Now, my husband is a guy, and so that means that he doesn’t ask for directions. But he did this particular day because he was so out of his element. You know, like a bull in a china shop or an NEA member at a homeschool meeting. This was, I believe, the first and last time he’s ever asked for directions.
An associate calls across the store, “Yeah, there’s a guy here looking for TING-TING.”
I realized at that moment that there is no sale good enough at which you should emasculate your man. My husband can brush our girls’ hair and put cosmetics in his grocery cart, but he draws the line at ting ting. I’m so in-love.
So, if you see me alone at the fabric store, you now know why. My husband buys tools and timber, and I buy thread and thimbles. We shop separately now. It’s not because our marriage is in trouble, but because we want to keep our marriage from it. It’s one way I respect my husband—or at the least, keep him awake. How about you?
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What were you doing in NEW JERSEY?! On vacation?
Guess you Florida people come up North for vacation and vice versa. Although, I can’t say much, I’m a southern transplant up here in NY.
This post will cause me to think twice, I can guarantee you that!
Comment by Andrea (July 9, 2006 @ 11:04 pm )
Andrea,
Greg grew up in Cherry Hill, NJ. We were passing through, actually, on our way up to Niagra Falls. We stopped and visited his aunt on the way, and we also had dinner with a cousin of mine. We rented an RV for a month and drove the whole east coast. But that is a post for another day.
Comment by Amy Scott (July 9, 2006 @ 11:09 pm )
My parents are in Fl and I live in PA. They’re coming up to visit us for their vacation. You(we) Floridians have to get out of that heat and humidity sometimes, right? That’s one reason I moved up here!
And by the way, I think even I would have been embarrassed by someone calling out “ting ting”. And I LOVE fabric stores!
Comment by joythruchrist (July 10, 2006 @ 12:43 am )
LOL! Well, I go to the fabric store alone too
Or any “girly” store. BTW I just bought 5m of brand new, never touched fabric at the thrift store for seven dollars and it’s the cutest light green with a light pink floral pattern. I’m rubbing my hands in glee while I imagine little girl’s dresses!
Comment by Amy (July 10, 2006 @ 2:32 am )
How I laughed and laughed - my kids were looking at me very stangely. I love the way you write - I must say I often lol reading your posts- cheers me up no end. Keep it up.
Comment by Diane (July 10, 2006 @ 4:35 am )
Hey, Andrea, that was a cheap shot.
How bout yous come out here and we discuss this. Take Exit 33.
One thing is clear in Amy’s post: NJ has excellent shopping.
Comment by Monica (July 10, 2006 @ 8:21 am )
There is this great place in Dothan, Alabama (or at least it used to be there) which is a fabric shop in the front, and a GUN SHOP in the back!!! It’s the only time in my life that the words, “Don’t you need more fabric?” came out of my wonderful husband’s mouth!
Comment by Petersonclan (July 10, 2006 @ 9:00 am )
Oh, yes..the yawn!
My husband and I have the same agreement. However, there are times when he has to go clothes shopping or shoe shopping with me for him and he dreads that!
Comment by Wendy (July 10, 2006 @ 9:35 am )
Hey!
What are you talking about? I love Joy-sey!:)
Comment by Andrea (July 10, 2006 @ 9:40 am )
Terribly funny and relatable story. My husband would gladly watch any number of our children if only I don’t ask him to tag along as I peruse the craft or fabric stores.
As a sign of respect to him, I try not to mix salty and sweet foods. For example, I love pineapple in my stir fry. He does not. I love grapes with my chicken and cream sauce. He does not. So either I cook two dishes if I’m really, really wanting it or I don’t cook it at all. Oh, and I love me some stir fry. He hates vegetables. So the only way he’d eat it was if the rice tasted like oatmeal and the vegetables were fried so much that they were unrecognizable and mushy and tasteless. That ruined the stir fry for me, so rather than make an issue of it, we simply don’t eat stir fry anymore.
Comment by Laura (July 10, 2006 @ 9:41 am )
Okay, you asked for it…I keep our marriage healthy by not asking my husband to purchase “feminine products” for me. Really, I have to take a good amount of time to decide because any number of new products might come out within a month’s time. The only time he DID buy for me was when I was recovering from the birth of our 4th and was having much pain/discomfort. He noticed my distress and immediately went to the rescue. Only to return a very shaken and confused man!!!
Comment by Sherri W (July 10, 2006 @ 9:58 am )
The last time my husband went to Walgreen’s to buy “feminine products”, as he was wandering down the aisle, the cashier at the front of the store yelled loudly to him, “SIR! SIR! If you are looking for men’s products they are in the next aisle!!!” Tee hee. I love him.
Comment by Jen (July 10, 2006 @ 10:22 am )
And here I thought it would be impolite, as I’m not an American, to say something like, “Uh, Jersey? For a _holiday???”
I actually love hardware stores too, although I didn’t when I was younger. But I’m all for gender-segregated shopping when it’s appropriate. Like, I _can’t_ be the only one who hates to see a man hanging around the lingerie section of a department store. Right? And I will never, _ever_ ask my husband to buy, er, feminine products. Unless it’s a genuine emergency. And I _do_ mean emergency!
My favour to my husband is that I never attempt to coax him to see movies I know he doesn’t want to see. And that means virtually every movie I _might_ want to see in mainstream theatres (we stick mostly to our local art house, which has things we both enjoy), as his definition of “chick flick” seems increasingly to include anything that doesn’t touch on specific battles of the Second World War.
And someone will have to clue me into the animosity between homeschoolers and the NEA, which I assume is the National Endowment for the Arts. We “liberals” up here in Canada (liberal by American standards) see that organisation, with all its flaws, as one of the few marks that the U.S. is actually civilised!
Comment by Mrs. P. (July 10, 2006 @ 11:06 am )
So I’m not the only one who lovingly strokes good fabric?
Mrs. P., the NEA I was referring to is the National Education Association–the big teacher’s union.
Comment by Amy Scott (July 10, 2006 @ 11:15 am )
I hate shopping myself. Pathologically. The ONLY stores I like are nurseries and bookstores, and even bookstores can be crummy if the music is too loud. My husband and I both avoid shopping like the plague. Sometimes we go to Home Depot together, when we have to. I love it when he will pamper me by taking me to the grocery store for an emergency food run late at night when I realize that we are out of bread, milk AND eggs. I HOPE that isn’t emasculating to him. He doesn’t seem to mind.
I build his sense of masculinity by surrendering as much driving to him as possible (at least I hope it builds his sense of masculinity). He is an excellent driver, and I hate driving. I thank him for driving amd tell him how awed I am at his ability to do it, especially on long vacations. I also always ask him before I buy just about any non-food item (probably related to my dread of shopping–I need lots of encouragement to go out and spend money). Sometimes I wonder if he gets irritated by me asking for permission for everything, but I think he maybe appreciates it a little. He builds me up on occasion by saying, “Go to the grocery store, and do not come home until you have spent $200. I’m hungry!” He has even encouraged me to spend money on haircuts and cosmetics. He’s a good man.
Mrs. P.–NEA is the National Educators’ Association–our national public school teachers’ union. A formidable organization, very liberal, and the reason why my dad talked me out of my dream of becoming a teacher.
Comment by ruth (July 10, 2006 @ 11:23 am )
NEA is also the National Educators Association, which is the teacher’s union. They seem to think they should have some kind of say in homeschooling (per their latest resolution), when their place is CLEARLY in the classroom, period. It’s a long and ongoing animosity.
Comment by Gem (July 10, 2006 @ 11:29 am )
[...] A recent post at Amy’s Humble Musings reminded me of this memorable comic strip: [...]
Pingback by Musings of the Dings » Fabric Stores and Eternity (July 10, 2006 @ 11:59 am )
Laughing here! I *did* have an emergency when we were vacationing in Wisconsin. I sent my husband to the store for feminine products. He survived the aisle, but when he made it to the counter the cheeky young thing behind the counter razzed him, “I hear these have a new design feature that works really well, what do you think?” He blushed, paused, and then burst out laughing.
Comment by Carol in Oregon (July 10, 2006 @ 12:46 pm )
I can’t believe you even got your husband in a fabric store - do tell your secret! That’s like asking them to go into the lingerie department (which my husband blushes just thinking about!).
I personally love Home Depot & Lowe’s - the smell of the wood, oogling all the neat hardware (I do glaze over when he begins power tool speak). So I gladly join DH on his excursions there. But whenever I run to the craft store* or the scrapbooking store, he gladly, willingly, lovingly keeps the kidlets for me.
(*He recently discovered one of my favorite craft stores carries some drafting supplies, and since drafting is his line of work, he has recently taken an interest in joining me to this particular store - but after he has a look-see, he runs next door to the electronics store!)
Comment by Laura (July 10, 2006 @ 1:19 pm )
I couldn’t agree more with the diametric difference between home improvement warehousees and fabric stores. Funny comic strip related on my blog post titled Fabric Stores and Eternity.
Comment by Evers Ding (July 10, 2006 @ 1:26 pm )
too funny! You knew what S4S oak is? That’s pretty good! I’ve never heard of that or ting ting!
Comment by Susanne (July 10, 2006 @ 1:53 pm )
Most of the time I shop for fabric alone. But on the occassion where my husband and I are together, our agreement is that he takes a book to the fabric store and we take walkie-talkies to the hardware store. That way he can look at all the wood and tools he wants and I can browse the garden area. When we are ready to go or have a question we just call each other on the walkie-talkies. Works great and has saved us from the former arguments we used to have!
Comment by Anita (July 10, 2006 @ 2:41 pm )
Not really. Greg was nearby as I was typing.
Not sure, as it doesn’t work anymore.
Laura, I take so long in the garden center at Home Depot that he always finishes his business inside before I do.
Comment by Amy Scott (July 10, 2006 @ 9:35 pm )
Mine is the exact opposite. I can’t sew and my manly husband can. (he learned out of necessity though. As an active duty ARMY guy, he has to sew patches and stuff on uniforms and it’s ridiculouc how much those lil shops charge for one patch.) So *I* am the one who’s bored/lost/confused in a fabric store. He did make my maternity clothes and our daughter baptismal gown, but he rarely has time to sew any more.
One thing I can’t/won’t do, is take my husband into a scrapbook store. It will literally turn him into a zombie. So I don’t subject him to that. But he did go into a scrapbook store while he was alone on a business trip for TWO WEEKS IN HAWAII to get me some local scrap stuff. Love that man!
Comment by Suzanne (July 11, 2006 @ 9:55 am )
ROFL… I have no words only laughter! You’re such a good wife, not emasculating your man!
ROFL
Mrs. Meg Logan
Comment by Mrs. Meg Logan (July 12, 2006 @ 8:42 am )