Live well to end well
Thursday, Jul 13, 2006
It was Albert Einstein who said, “People love chopping wood. In this activity one immediately sees results.” Immediate gratification is not the currency of a mother, a farmer, or a bond investor.
While there was no wood to chop, I did mange to produce a few visible steps forward yesterday. The squash plants were pulled, and I hand-tilled the soil for the next planting. I weeded all the front beds, had dinner on the table when my husband got home, and spoke kindly to the children all day long (except for the times that I didn’t). Even my patience remained untried, as no solicitor interrupted my life to sell me auto insurance.
Late at night in bed, I mused over my perfect day with a Mitford book (recommended by a reader a few posts back), whilst nursing a bowl of cherries instead of a baby. I congratulated myself on having a good day, which should’ve been a sign in itself. If I pieced all these days together, yesterday’s day would resemble a sort of life I’d like to live. A good life merges the sacred and the secular and doesn’t draw a line where one ends and the other begins. A string of good days forms the garland of a good life. Life isn’t a box of chocolates; it’s a bunch of moments, it is.
As I relished in the satisfaction of a day well spent, the baby and the two-year-old began to tag team their needs… all night long. It was exhausting and more trying than a solicitor’s phone call. It was my attitude, however, that stunk more than the situation. It’s easier to be holy when things are going your own way, but that isn’t real holiness, eh? They carried on and on, hollering something fierce. There was no relief, except for the hour between two a.m. and three a.m., when they decided to rest recharge.
So, suffice to say, I had a good day… until I didn’t. It was like a good book whose ending stunk. It somehow dampens even the good part. If a book is 90% good and 10% bad, the only time the 10% matters if it’s at the end. It ruins the whole book. The end matters.
If the end matters—which it does—and we don’t know when the end of our lives will be—which we don’t—then shouldn’t we live our ordinary moments as if they’re the ending ones? There’s a lesson in here, I’m sure, but the phone just rang.
I don’t want to know who it is.
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Oh, Amy, I can surely relate.
One time you wrote, “It’s hard to be Godly in the unGodly hour”. I always think about that in the middle of the night.
But I think what you said is true: “Life is a bunch of momments.”
We realists often have a hard time focusing on what went RIGHT. We tend to focus on the 10% that went “wrong”.
Enjoyed your thoughts, as usual.
Comment by Andrea (July 13, 2006 @ 10:41 am )
It’s hard, because life is lived in the mundane moments of life. We don’t know when the end will be and should live every moment as if it’s the last, but at the same time there are many ordinary things to do. Hard to capture every moment and use it as if it were our last!
Comment by MInTheGap (July 13, 2006 @ 10:47 am )
Why is it that the ‘perfect’ times are always followed by the times that test your resolve and leave you feeling so humble? That has happened to me so often. Thank God His grace is new every morning.
Mary
Comment by owlhaven (July 13, 2006 @ 11:14 am )
Good or Bad Day?
On Goodness of Day at Amy’s Humble Musings….
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[...] On Goodness of Day at Amy’s Humble Musings. [...]
Pingback by Pseudo-Polymath » Blog Archive » (Still) Morning Highlights (July 13, 2006 @ 12:17 pm )
love the Mitford series….it’s good enough to re-read!
Comment by Suzanne (July 13, 2006 @ 12:43 pm )
Just have to say that you’re an inspiration to all of us whether you realize it or not. Since stumbling across your blog a few months back, I keep coming back for more. It’s truly awesome to see how we can be “virtual” testimonies of the Lord working in our lives (even if He is teaching us in the midst of our postings) through the wonder of blogging. I’m just now catching on that perhaps, just perhaps, by letting friends and family and their circles of friends and family peek into our seemingly insignificant life, we can still show the Lord significantly. You have done just that through your blog - over and over! I appreciate it more than you’ll ever know.
Comment by Alison (July 13, 2006 @ 12:56 pm )
Yes, the 10% always sticks in my mind, too… but thank God for the 90%, because it helps keep us sane during that last little bit of the day.
Okay, partially sane. We’ve had two nights this week, with both kids up & down all night long, and I must admit, I thought of running out of my mind… but, the 90% surely had fingernail marks in it, I was holding on so tight!
It’s always so reassuring to read someone else’s blog, and realize moms everywhere go through the exact same thing…
Comment by Laura (July 13, 2006 @ 1:12 pm )
Oh boy can I relate to that…
After nearly 5 years of frustrating nights with very little sleep (3 new-borns, a child with sleep apnea, wakefull 2 year olds, etc.) I finally gave up my right to sleep. Getting up got easier after that. I read somewhere that prayer puts your body into a state of renewal akin to sleeping so I just resorted to praying in the middle of the night… alot. It’s amazing how much God worked in my life during those times.
I’m probably about to start another stint of up-all-night-combined-with-jet-lag in a few months so if anyone needs prayer….
Comment by tonya (July 13, 2006 @ 1:24 pm )
Amen, Amy. Praise God that you see it for what it truly is, so many just toss attitudes aside as life.
Brad
Comment by Broken Messenger (July 13, 2006 @ 1:27 pm )
Amy, I’ve been thinking about this concept too. I’ll go about doing something with or for one of my children and think, “This may be the last time I do this. Shouldn’t I make it count?” I’ve probably been thinking like this because my mother-in-law just had open heart surgery and the coach of my college’s football team dropped dead of a heart attack at 52, only six years older than my husband.
Blessings to you as we make our moments count.
Comment by Meredith B. (July 13, 2006 @ 2:00 pm )
Greetings!
I too found you a few months ago. I enjoy your take on life and have been inspired by your words!
Here’s a quote I remember daily amidst the wonderful chaos of motherhood - We do not remember days, we remember moments. ~ Cesare Pavese
Enjoy the day!
ohapizgud
Comment by ohapizgud (July 13, 2006 @ 2:01 pm )
Very much needed right now! Thank you for your thoughts. Always enjoy them!
Comment by Kelly Bowland (July 13, 2006 @ 2:11 pm )
Oh boy, I feel tired just *reading* your post. I figure we’ve got to enjoy the good moments as much as we possibly can since it’s just a matter of time until a bad moment arrives
I’m still not sure how I survived those baby days of no sleep. If my youngest wasn’t up, one of the others was. Our oldest had a terrible time with “night terrors” and would wake us several times a night for months on end, shrieking as though the house was on fire. Of course, he was asleep and we just had to hold him and wait it out. Thankfully, it’s getting better as he gets older. Now we get up with him only once or twice, and it’s not every night.
Comment by Amy (July 13, 2006 @ 3:03 pm )
Wow, I had one of those days too. I can relate to the attitude thing. Today I got up with a determination to have a better one (attitude that is). God led me to this passage in Philippians 2:5 “Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus.” That attitude being humility of mind and regarding others more important than yourself. I was convicted and yet encouraged. I will pick up today with a better attitude and leave the unholy one in the past. Moving forward is important, learning of course from our sins, but knowing that God gives us such grace and mercy to start over, fresh and new every morning. (No matter when that morining might start…I have a 3yo and 3 mo old.)
May God bless you and thank you for sharing the holy and the unholy moments with us. It sure encouraged me after a very hard night.
Comment by Anonymous (July 13, 2006 @ 3:30 pm )
I agree, Thank God His mercies are new every morning.
Comment by Wendy (July 13, 2006 @ 3:39 pm )
Amy, you have such a great way of expressing yourself. Thanks for sharing it with all of us!
Comment by Dena (July 13, 2006 @ 5:11 pm )
One of my favorite quotes in the book The Pace of a Hen (which I swiped as a theme for my blog) is: “Work does not wear us out, but an emotional jag of feeling abused and overburdened very quickly produces a ‘cumbered Martha.’”
You’re so right–our attitude is the key!
Comment by At A Hen's Pace (July 13, 2006 @ 6:39 pm )
I knew it!!! That explains it! When I have those really good surreal days, I walk around on edge…sort of schizophrenic because I know IT is coming…that 10% you talked about.
Did I every tell you relish is bad for you? Never eat it and certainly don’t use the word in your accomplishment vocabulary. The only time it is even tolerable is when relishing in the love and mercy of God. Every time I relish, the 10 percent happens. We had hotdogs at a get together not to long ago. Some one asked me if I wanted relish with my hot dog. Not me, no relish. Never!! The R word just guarantees the F word is right behind it. YOu know FALL. Pride comes before a fall. Relish usually has a little pride in it for me. Maybe it is not that way for you.
Comment by KSMilkmaid (July 13, 2006 @ 7:41 pm )
Amy, you are an excellent writer! I really enjoy your style:-)
It is so vivid and colorful (and funny!). I can actually see you sitting on the couch “nursing” cherries, and I wonder where the baby is.
Have you had a chance to work on your book lately? haha
Comment by Danielle (July 13, 2006 @ 10:48 pm )
I have coined this phenomenon as a law of nature (I’m partly joking but partly serious), a corrollary to the Law of Positive Causation (which may or may not actually exist). The Law of Positive Causation is that a good attitude and positive statements invariably cause good results. But the (oh so dreadful) corrollary is that simple declarative positive statements cause severely negative results. For example, if you say “the weather is wonderful these days” then there will be lightning and thunder or snow and ice. If you say “the trains have been running on time” then they will break down and/or be late. (And if you say it was a perfect day, well you know…!)
Comment by anne (July 14, 2006 @ 10:39 am )
P.S. I meant to add that I have found the antidote or workaround to the LOPC Corrollary is to hedge the positive declarative statement somewhat, as in “the trains seem to have been fairly punctual recently” or “the weather seems nice lately, don’t you think?” or “it was a more or less okay day”.
Comment by anne (July 14, 2006 @ 10:42 am )
Amy,
Each time I read your blog I find myself thinking, “Yeah… what she said!” You have an incredible way of turning ordinary moments into extraordinary ideas. While I struggle to string together five coherent words, your posts challenge me to think beyond the surface to what really matters. You reach into the heart of the matter in a few short paragraphs and leave me with something to chew on for the day. Short microbursts of real life wisdom if you will.
Thanks for the challenge!
Blessings,
Angela
Comment by Angela (July 14, 2006 @ 10:46 am )
This was a timely post, Amy, considering the day I had yesterday!! Thanks and blessings.
Comment by Mrs Blythe (July 14, 2006 @ 11:26 am )
I hear you, sister. I would be holy, if it weren’t for everybody else:-).
Comment by leigh ann (July 14, 2006 @ 4:22 pm )
“which should’ve been a sign in itself.”
If only I had a dime for every time I have made a note of this to myself.
Comment by sprittibee (July 14, 2006 @ 10:06 pm )
I can surely relate! i really enjoy your blog. Thanks for sharing!!
Comment by ashluvs2 (July 14, 2006 @ 10:53 pm )
Wonderful thoughts. It’s so encouraging to experience those good days–by God’s grace and work in us–but to also be able to survive them and move on, when they turn bad.
Keep reading Mitford. It will keep your spirit happy and quiet.
Comment by Jennifer, Snapshot (July 15, 2006 @ 10:55 pm )