For God’s glory
Tuesday, Oct 3, 2006
My husband and I don’t get out often on dates anymore, but when we have the chance, we take it. Greg’s dad stayed with the older four one evening last week, while Greg, I, and the baby went out for dinner. Afterward, we went to the grocery store. Très romantique.
At the checkout, the cashier commented on our grocery load and asked how many children we had. I don’t recall going through a checkout where the conversation didn’t turn to the number of children we have. (I never shop more than once a week.) Then, as the custom goes, they’ll ask me if I’ve seen “that family on TV with like 15 kids or something.”
They are referring, of course, to the Duggar family, which we aren’t even close to catching up with. For the record, the current count is 16 children: 10 boys and 6 girls. We are small potatoes in comparison.
The reason I’m mentioning this is because someone mailed me a DVD Discovery show feature on the Duggar family. On it, the mother of all 16 children, Michelle Duggar, says (to paraphrase), “It’s a lot easier now with all my older ones. The hardest part was when I had five little ones.” I think I rewound that part fifteen times.
I want my husband to think the best of me, to feel confident that our children are receiving a great education. I want him to think he is leaving his children in very capable hands. He knows that some days we get many things accomplished, have good conversations, and everyone obeys. He also knows that some days I am nothing more than a Whac-A-Mole player—stomping out trouble with wild, instinctive swats.
When you have small children, you must remember that two-steps-forward-and-one-step-back is still moving in the right direction. As a patient farmer knows, some things just take a long time. One day, mothers of small children will reap where they’ve sown. It is not for nothing when we take careful, thoughtful time to bring our children alongside of us. It is for God’s glory that we raise faithful children and that we glorify God in the simple, dailyness of life.
Speaking of faithful, I was praising my third child, a lamb of a daughter, for her gentle and quiet spirit last night. She lay on my bed as we had some girl talk. I told her that she’d make a great mother one day. She mentioned that she’d like to have ten children.
“Why ten, honey?” I asked.
She replied, “Because eleven is too many.”
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Seems like I am always the first to comment. Hmm. We must only be able to get on the computer late at night.
Thank you for reminding me that this journey is “two steps forward and one step back.” I needed to hear that tonight.
Comment by Andrea (October 3, 2006 @ 10:37 pm )
How funny. That’s the very same line that stuck out to me when I watched that show. And I’m not even up to five yet! (Although four two and under has to count for something!) I keep repeating to myself that some day, this will get easier. Some day, they will sweep the floor themselves. Some day, they will pull up their pants themselves. And maybe some day, they will pull said pants down and do their business without prompting, cajoling, or bribing.
And some day, I will miss these small little people who have become “olders” who help around the house. That’s what I cling to. This small thread of hope is sometimes all that puts one foot in front of the other. Well, that, and the fact that if I don’t run quickly, someone’s going to shed his pants in the backyard for no reason at all!
Thanks for the laugh and the communal sigh of hope.
Lora
Comment by Lora Lynn (October 3, 2006 @ 10:40 pm )
OH. MY. WORD. I could NOT get past the Whack a Mole comment!!! I am SOOOOO glad I was not drinking when I read that!
I totally have days like that - WITH 2 - and I WANT more (why yes nice men with the white coats come on in…) I am soooooglad to hear moms of many say things like that!
I remind myself constantly that God has great love for mothers of young ones, and that His plans for mothers of young ones are perfect.
The last couple of days my 5 1/2 year old son has been asking me God whispered questions - and growing BOTH our faiths in the process.
Comment by Heather (October 3, 2006 @ 11:06 pm )
I love it!
That comment from Mrs. Duggar reminds me of how I felt a few months ago when I was reading the Deputy Headmistress over at the Common Room and she said that the years when she had five small children were just a blur. It made me feel so good!
I long for my children to grow up into young adults who love the Lord, enjoy each other and are delightful to be with.
Right now, it’s more “Whack a Mole” than I think I can stand sometimes. But I work to remember that these years are short, even when the days seem loooooong… =)
Blessings,
Comment by Brenda on the S OR Coast (October 4, 2006 @ 12:00 am )
“Why ten, honey?” I asked.
She replied, “Because eleven is too many.”
That’s too funny! My eldest son told me the other day that he wanted me to have 5 more kids, “cause we love kids around here!” His comment really encouraged me as I was beginning to feel like a crazy pregnant lady with all these little kids hovering around me all day long!
We really do love kids around here!
Thanks for this post.
Comment by Anna (October 4, 2006 @ 12:16 am )
Or my oldest (married now) saying they think they want a small family of only 4 or 5.
Comment by Stephanie (October 4, 2006 @ 12:22 am )
I cried when I saw that part. I was so relieved!
Mommy to five six and under.
Comment by emily gunn (October 4, 2006 @ 1:10 am )
I love your daughter’s answer…that is classic.
Comment by Kristy (October 4, 2006 @ 3:07 am )
I loved your daugther’s answer. I pray that the Lord grants her request. We would love 10 or even 12. However, the Lord chose to only give us one. Ladies, I know it is hard with all those little ones around. However, you are truly blessed and you are doing a good job. Hangeth thou in there…. =)
Comment by Marci (October 4, 2006 @ 5:52 am )
Amy,
I just wanted you to know that I am so thankful I have found your website. I find myself checking it daily to read your humble thoughts. It just really helps to keep in perspective and know what is important in our daily lives. As a mother of three little ones, 4, 6, 8 & my angel Jared, you amaze me when I see the kids at the ball field and how happy and well behaved they are. Both you and Greg are filled with Gods strength & grace and it shows. I submitted a quote to Fl. today years ago on a mothers favorite sayings piece and would like to share it with you. I use it all the time with my kids, although I know they will not fully appreciate it until they are older.
“the best thing I ever gave you was each other” d.talluto
Thanks again Amy!
Suzy Ashley
http://suzy.stayinhomeandlovinit.com
http://www.childrensgaucher.org
Comment by Suzy Ashley (October 4, 2006 @ 8:07 am )
“When you have small children, you must remember that two-steps-forward-and-one-step-back is still moving in the right direction.”
I love this!!!! Thank you for the reminder - I really needed to be reminded of this (we’ve had seveal ‘one-step back’ days lately with the 2 y/o).
Also, I can totally relate with being a “Whack-A-Mole” (ROFLOL - my daughter was asking, “WHATS so funny?!?”).
Thanks for such a wonderful and humorous post!
Have a blessed day,
Dana
Comment by Dana (October 4, 2006 @ 8:35 am )
Thanks for the post! I breathed a sigh of relief when I read Mrs. Duggar’s quote. Like your “Whack-a-Mole” illustration, I feel like I’m spinning plates in a circus all day!
Also, I’m glad you posted one of the sermons from the Desiring God conference. It reminded me that I wanted to listen to some of them, since my husband just returned from the conference, and I didn’t get to go. I’m NOT bitter…really.
Comment by Anita (October 4, 2006 @ 9:02 am )
I am the Whack-A-Mole queen this week. We spent the weekend away and my sweet mother came to stay with my ’sweet’ kids. The last two days have been one long spanking, hair pulling, fire putting out, dont’ bite, dont’ hit, don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t… Sigh. I told a friend yesterday I may never leave for an unchilded vacation again. Your post came as such an encouragment to me today. I am on the one step back just now, but looking to get out of reverse here soon.
Blessings, Amy!!
Comment by Aubrey (October 4, 2006 @ 10:09 am )
Amy, thanks for those encouraging words.
I have 5 children, all under the age of 7. Our last 2 are twins and were a bit of a surprise for us. I have many days where I feel like I’m taking a step backwards. I remind myself often that there are different seasons of life.
It helps me to read your post. I am a BLESSED WOMAN with all these little feet running around me.
Comment by Chris (October 4, 2006 @ 10:40 am )
Amy,
Like other commenters - that is the SAME comment that struck me too. I am expecting number 5 in December. When that little one is born, my oldest will be just shy of 5 1/2. Sometimes I feel the pressure to have a perfect family but my daily life is closer to the Whac-A-Mole! I currently have two children (of course my littlest two) with little colds that seems to have turned them into little Mr. Whiney and little Mr. Needy. When they both need mama’s 7 month pregnant lap, things get a little difficult. I am reminded by God on days like this to try and take joy in the little things. Their smiles, their goofy games, the fun they seem to be able to have with a couple boxes on the floor. I know this time will not last forever, that someday they will not be fighting over who gets which toy and that I need to just remain faithful in the little things for the payoff. But, my some days it is OH-SO-HARD, isn’t it?
Anyway, thanks for your post! They always seem to meet me right where I’m at.
Blessings,
Jamie
Comment by Jamie (October 4, 2006 @ 10:42 am )
I hope your writing encourages you as much as it does me! Thasnks for this. I’m totally stealing your whackamole illustration, btw. Maybe it’ll give hubby a little insight to my days:) I try a little too hard to make sure he thinks I’m suoer-capable. I need to let him in on the reality a little more.
Comment by Shannon Miller (October 4, 2006 @ 10:47 am )
Amy, as always, you offer thoughtful, reflective wisdom to people from virtually any walk of life. The going-in-the-right-direction reminder is timely even for those of us who are not dealing with the challenges of children, but with those of career, marriage, etc. It’s a good, good thing to remember.
And your daughter’s response is a hilarious reminder of children’s beautiful, lineal, if sometimes impenetrable logic . . . !
(Of course, when I was her age, I thought I wanted a bunch of kids, too!)
Comment by Mrs. P. (October 4, 2006 @ 11:04 am )
Thanks so much for the encouraging post, Amy! We have six at the moment, the oldest 10, the youngest 3. When Blessing #4 arrived, Blessing #1 was a few months over four. While some days I still feel like I should be in the Whac-A-Mole Olympics for Moms (that’s a hoot!), it is, in many ways, getting easier.
Do you think Moms with fuller quivers tend to embrace the goal of getting those arrows ready to fly more readily than Moms with just one or two?
Comment by Laurel (October 4, 2006 @ 11:10 am )
I’m not a mother right now, but I found this post encouraging about the future! Your daughter’s comment is priceless!
Comment by Ashley (October 4, 2006 @ 12:06 pm )
This morning was very much a “whack the mole” morning. I’m so glad I’m not the only one who feels like that sometimes! Thank you for the funny mental image - it made me smile, which improved my attitude, which is making the day go much bettter!
Comment by Emily (October 4, 2006 @ 1:01 pm )
Even though I only have two children, and none to come in the future, I am always inspired by bour blog. Like your daughter, I always wanted 10 children too! She sounds like a smart kiddo. You are doing a great job!
Mary
Comment by Mary (October 4, 2006 @ 1:33 pm )
[...] –”For God’s Glory,” Amy’s Humble Musings [...]
Pingback by A Healer’s Geste » Amen (October 4, 2006 @ 2:15 pm )
Dandelions and Mothers …how blessed it is that we women enjoy a circle of encouragement from each other…God is surely good! Thank you, Amy, for your candid, honest sharing! Another word of encouragement…The Mission Field of Children
Comment by Kelly (October 4, 2006 @ 2:45 pm )
Oh my! What a hoot! I love all the comments and the post was classic, Amy. Makes me feel like I’m part of some great big club where we all laugh and encourage each other. We had a Whack the mole kinda day Monday and I’m still reviewing mentally Paul’s exhortation to Rejoice in the Lord always; again I say rejoice, about every hour or so. “I need thee every hour” is my theme hymn, I think.
The sweet moments are priceless though. During family time this morning, my 3 yo asks what a demon is (we’re reading Luke 9) and I am fumbling for the appropriate words and suddenly she pipes up, “Oh, I know. They’re angels that don’t worship God.” “My goodness yes that’s right, how’d you know that?” I say.
“Daddy told me,” she replies.
I love it.
The fruit of the womb is a reward. Children are an inheritance from God.
Bless you and your’s. Thank you for making me laugh!
Comment by Meagan (October 4, 2006 @ 2:48 pm )
Can you elaborate or clarify?
Comment by Amy Scott (October 4, 2006 @ 7:13 pm )
Thanks for the reminder! Gotta love the Whac-A-mole illustration!
Appreciating your humor in the every-dayness of life
Blessings,
Theresa
Comment by Theresa (October 4, 2006 @ 8:08 pm )
I can so totally relate! I’m the mom of four boys. As my oldest was five when my youngest was born, the whole first six months of his little life are lost in the haze of post partum depression and sleep deprivation. What joy when all the children can bathe and dress themselves and brush their own teeth! Of course, now we face the emotionally exhausting years of adolesence and puberty and preteen angst!
Blessings,
Lisa
Comment by Lisa (October 4, 2006 @ 9:05 pm )
ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAC-A-MOLE!!!!!!!!! That is an AWESOME description. Now when I start swatting randomly, I will think of that and laugh and maybe it will put me in a better frame of mind for proper child rearing:):):) Tooooo funny!
Comment by tonya (October 4, 2006 @ 9:18 pm )
I lifted up a brief cry for something really encouraging today before I logged on–God answers prayer!! We have been in the Whac-A-Mole state for a few days now on top of colds and through all of this the house just gets worse the laundry to be folded gets higher and school seems to get farther behind. I, too, tell myself that it must get better pretty soon. We have five under seven and today I embark upon the potty training adventure with blessing number 4! Thank you so much for this very timely encouragement. God bless!
Comment by Another Heather (October 5, 2006 @ 9:39 am )
I love the comparision of 2 steps forward and one step back stilling being steps in the right direction! Thanks for that!
Comment by Susanne (October 5, 2006 @ 3:28 pm )
Amy,
Thank you, thank you, and thank you so very much for this post. I “only” have three children (3.5 years, 22 months, and a one-month-old). Yet three children that young is overwhelming at times. As my dear husband reminded me today after a gourmet lunch of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, our children are growing up so very fast and we WILL look back and remember these years and miss them.
I think “two steps forward and one step back” has become my new mantra.
Thank you, Amy.
Comment by Kelly (October 6, 2006 @ 12:40 pm )
Thank you, thank you, thank you for this post. It’s been one of those days all week.
From your fellow mole-whacker, endeavoring to do this work for His glory….
Comment by Kelly (October 6, 2006 @ 9:24 pm )
I hadn’t been here for a long time, and I’d forgotten how wonderfully you put things! Whac-a-Mole is one we obviously can all relate to!
Blessings to you, sister, and thanks for what you’re doing!
Comment by homefire (October 13, 2006 @ 8:03 am )
[...] This was just the nurse who did the prescreening. When the doctor came in, he mentioned, “You don’t see such LARRRRGE families anymore.” Ha, ha, I thought, You should meet the wackos who read my blog. Five is nothing. But instead I just said, “And yes, I’ve seen that family on TV….” [...]
Pingback by Amy’s Humble Musings » Squashed (October 18, 2006 @ 10:30 pm )
My husband and I don’t get out often on dates anymore, but when we have the chance, we take it. Greg’s dad stayed with the older four one evening last week, while Greg, I, and the baby went out for dinner. Afterward, we went to the grocery store. Très romantique.
LOL! This describes the last few (and far between) dates my husband and I have had! That cracked me up so much I read it out loud to my husband and he got a huge grin on his face as we realized, yeah, wow- we think of it as such a treat to get to go to the grocery store alone and talk about what we might need, really read the backs of products, scour the aisles for new items, etc.
As you said, tres romantique!
Comment by Jessica (November 2, 2006 @ 3:29 am )