Mommy Brain
Monday, Oct 16, 2006
There is a phenomenon that women talk about in their secret circles. The stories and circumstances may vary, but the diagnosis is the same: Mommy Brain. This is what usually happens to women a week after they have a baby, but it can strike at any time, really. Once you’re a mother, there’s no effective remedy for Mommy Brain. It’s hopeless.
Unfortunately, I display Mommy Brain everyday, several times a day. You’re doomed if you have several children of the same gender. Double doomed if they have names that start with the same letter. It goes something like this, “Ab, An, Am, Ah, whatever-your-name-is, YOU!!!, come here, please.”
This “Mommy Brain” thing happened to me recently when the doctor asked me how much my fourth child weighed. Like I’m supposed to know that, her birthday, and her full name at the drop of a hat.
Now, hear me out. It’s not as if I sit around the house studying Trivial Pursuit cards, filling my mind with useless information. I know many things about my children. I know that my oldest son needs longer suit pants. I know that my second child doesn’t like mayonnaise on her sandwich. I know that my third child is really, really good at Memory games. My fourth child? She could count to ten in Spanish before she was two, but her soul won’t get to heaven if she keeps refusing to pray. And our sweet baby– to get him to stop crying, give him a banana and some tunes and he’s good to go. Just whatever you do, don’t put a blanket on him.
Back when I only had to worry about myself, things were easy. I could grab my purse and keys, and go! But now, I am the brains for several people, and it gets complicated. How does a person prioritize information with so many non-important details competing for primetime? Is there a special pill for Mommy Brain?
How good it is to know that God never suffers this human condition. He knows the number of hairs on every person’s head, and He never calls us by the wrong name.
I still can’t tell you the weight of each of my children, but the next time anyone wants to know how much one of my children weighs, I’ll answer, “No mayo or tomato, extra pickle, turkey-and-cheese please on whole wheat. …Toasted.”
Take that.
He determines the number of the stars
and calls them each by name.
~Psalm 147:4
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So true! I call it “mama-nesia.” It used to really bug me when I was growing up that my mom never remembered that I hate Parmesan cheese. Every time we had spaghetti she always asked me if I would like some, even though I always said no I hate Parmesan cheese. Now that I’m a mom, I totally understand.
Comment by Catherine (October 17, 2006 @ 4:21 am )
rotflol Yeah! Take that!! Good for you Amy!
Comment by Janel (October 17, 2006 @ 7:45 am )
Love this Amy!
I also have no clue (well I could make an educated guess) what my children weigh, but my husband does! He weighs them and marks their heights behind the bedroom door. So I when it comes to taking meds I usually ask him or the kids what they weight!
Mommy brain has hit here too and I am just waiting for the day that you call the kids by the dogs name. It will happen!! I asked Wyatt to let the dog in but called him by his brothers name..so picture this.. both boys eating breakfast and I tell Wyatt to go let Quentin in.. they both look at me like I had lost it.. I mean buster whatever his name is I said. I have even called the kids by the dogs name, hey Buster.. get in the car.. oops.. I mean Quentin! (thats because the dog usually rides with us so its an honest mistake, isn’t it?)
Since you are talking about fall being in the air I am waiting for the homemade pumpkin pie reciepes, when carving our pumpkin last night we bake our seeds!! They turned out so good, finally after years of burning and over salting. I was so impressed. Does this mean I am related to Martha Stewart??
Thanks for your posts! Missed you at the ball fields, well talk soon!
Suzy Ashley
SENIOR DIRECTOR 5
home: 321-454-4402
fax: 775-205-4370
http://suzy.stayinhomeandlovinit.com
http://www.childrensgaucher.org
“the best thing I ever gave you was each other” d.talluto
Comment by Suzy Ashley (October 17, 2006 @ 8:20 am )
I have a daughter, then three stair step boys. If I’m calling someone, I usually just start at the top and call every name on the list, or at least the first part. The bad thing is when they all get to you and you can’t remember what you wanted in the first place, lol.
I really showed my ‘mommy brain’ recently. When I went in for my first OB visit with this current baby (#5), I was expected to recite birthdays, birth weights and heights, and gestational age of every one of my children. It took me forever to remember things I could recite in my sleep when they were just a few hours old. *Sigh* I resolve never to forget this new baby’s name, birthday, weight or height. Yeah right.
Comment by Mrs. Huckabay (October 17, 2006 @ 8:55 am )
So true! We have a great God! Thanks for the post!
I had a mommy-brain episode the other night during a trip to the ER. DD, age 3, fell and hit her head, and when they asked me how much she weighed, I had no idea! I felt like the totally neglegent mom of the year!
Comment by Anita (October 17, 2006 @ 9:19 am )
I know what you mean, having just had my 6th baby I seem to be getting worse! I can’t even remember where they’re supposed to be day to day. I forgot about boy scouts the other night, lol! BUT I can still tell you the time they were born, their birth weight, and their length. Weird, huh? BTW, Amy, I know your last birth didn’t go the way you would have liked it. I had to have an emergency c-section, my first, after getting to 8CM in natural labor. Eden tried to come out shoulder first! (I use a midwife in the hospital.) Recovering has been a major challenge this time. That is why mommy brain is worse right now, I’m sure!
Comment by Nancy (October 17, 2006 @ 9:28 am )
Yep - It feels really good to know I’m not the only mommy that does this! A mommy I know brought her two kids on a field trip last week and when she got to the pumpkin patch realized her three year old daughter didn’t have on shoes. SHe told her to put them on and hop in the car, but then forgot to double check. Needless to say she’ll be throwing those socks away, but we all had a good laugh and a great day:)
Comment by Shannon Miller (October 17, 2006 @ 9:30 am )
haha! sooo funny
and sooo true.
sometimes i wonder if my “mommy brain” has been “mummified”.
shalom to you!
Comment by Ruth (October 17, 2006 @ 10:05 am )
LOL!!! I NEVER remember that stuff ~ and I only have 2 so far. The doctor asks and I just look at her with a you’re kidding right look on m face - then she recovers her senses (after all she’s a working mom of 3! Her brain is shot too!).
I actually LOVE my ped. she is great! She is pro holding off antibiotics unless nessisary (and pretty much if I actually COME IN she knows we need them) and pro intact little boys so YAY!
Comment by Anonymous (October 17, 2006 @ 10:09 am )
After I had my second baby, a friend of mine warned me about Mommy Brain. She attributed it to more of my brain cells leaving with the breast milk. “They just flow right out with the milk!”
Comment by Leslie (October 17, 2006 @ 10:22 am )
How about shoe sizes??
Not. A. Clue.
Comment by Janet (October 17, 2006 @ 11:56 am )
Some people actually do take a pill for that…it’s called Loestrin I think. But what fun is that kind of life?!?!
Comment by Lewis (October 17, 2006 @ 1:00 pm )
Now, I must admit–it never occurred to me that mothers have to know something like children’s weights at the drop of a hat! Never thought of it at all.
I have to confess something, though, Amy: I think I have a version of Mommy Brain, even though I’d not a mum! I can’t remember many of the sorts of details you describe about mySELF or my husband! What can it mean? And is there any hope? I’m not even that old!!!
What’s your name again, dear? You seem like a very nice young woman . . . .
Comment by Mrs. P. (October 17, 2006 @ 1:04 pm )
With the name thing, why do we name them with the same begining letter, or in my case, same ending letter. ( Emma, Ava, Neala) For being so cute, it sure is mind boggling. I guess when we give birth and have that over-joyous love, we don’t ever think we’re going to be satrke raving mad screaming their names.( Of course I never do that
)
Comment by Half-eaten chocolate cake (October 17, 2006 @ 1:44 pm )
“But now, I am the brains for several people, and it gets complicated.”
That’s a perfect description of what’s going on in my life. I’m experiencing it, but I couldn’t put it into words! Thank you — I’ll be quoting that sentence to my husband. My very supportive husband who did not utter one word when the kids and I met him at church last Sunday and one child had no coat and one child was wearing sandals with no socks or tights on a very brisk fall day. Like the mother of the 3-year-old in the pumpkin patch, I forgot to double-check before we left the driveway. Some days I count it success as long as I don’t forget any of the people that are supposed to be in the car with me!
In some ways I’m looking forward to the days when I will be the brain for only one person — me — but I know I will miss things about these days terribly. Trying hard to enjoy each day, each stage of our family life!
Comment by Lori (October 17, 2006 @ 1:46 pm )
Two weeks ago, we arrived home from church and I realized that DS#2 had worn unmatched socks all morning, and DS#3 had spent the morning with remnants of his breakfast (raisin bran) stuck to his behind.
And I thought we were really together that day…
Comment by Kelly (October 17, 2006 @ 3:19 pm )
I can’t stop laughing, I really thought I was the only one that had these problems. I think pregnancy makes it much worse.
I have never posted before but Amy I love your blog!!! This one hit too close to home for me to not respond, first OB visit for baby #4 and I had to spout off such details…the adorable young nurse seemed confused why I had to use my fingers to count the years each of my children were born. After all I had all 3 in a 3 year span…which one is which year is just down right overwhelming. Thankfully she had my #2’s birth weight already but when she said it I said “Wow, he was bigger than I thought.” I’m not dumb, my brain just cuts out and man it is hard to re-boot.
Blessings, keep up the good work!
Comment by Faith (October 17, 2006 @ 4:17 pm )
You speak the truth!
Comment by Mel (October 17, 2006 @ 5:21 pm )
I call it “labor fog,” and it can last for years, I’m convinced. . . I tell women all the time that they can blame their temporary insanity on it, even when their kids are in college-maybe especially then!
Comment by Nicole (October 17, 2006 @ 6:24 pm )
One of my “Mommy Brain” stories also occurred at the pediatrician’s office when my youngest son (of four) was just a few months old (yet another symptom of Mommy Brain in that I can’t remember which month check up it was). Anyway, the doctor asked how many teeth the baby had. I was totally stumped. I mean I knew he had teeth, I just had no idea how many! Contrast with my first son when not only did I know how many teeth he had, I knew exactly when he had cut them!
Glad to know I am not alone!
Lisa
Comment by Lisa (October 17, 2006 @ 7:02 pm )
With this most recent baby we had my older 3girls brought to the hospital so we could all go home together and the nurse asked how old my youngest daughter was, she’s still at that age that you measure in “months”. I couldn’t for the life of me remember and my brain couldn’t even do the math, my nine year old ended up answering her (she had it to the day!), how embarrasing! And after 3girls this poor boy has been called “goodgirl” more times then I could count. And I never get the name right the first time! Andrew is going to grow up thinking his name is Bethani :). I am so inspired by everyone else’s stories, I’m not the only one!
Comment by Shelby (October 17, 2006 @ 7:09 pm )
“Pregnancy kills brain cells”, is what I was wisely told by my older sister. How true! But I thought they would come back somehow after the baby was born! Ha! Shortly after my second child was born I left the water running in the bathroom sink one time. I didn’t notice it until later when there was water pouring out from under the bathroom door. Yikes!
But who has time to remember mundane details like shutting off the water when we have to remember how everybody likes their sandwiches? 
Thanks for the great post…a chance for mommys to commisserate with one another and laugh at one another’s stories.
Amanda
Comment by Amanda (October 17, 2006 @ 7:14 pm )
I can relate to the name confusion! I have an Emma and an Ella at home! Talk about getting mixed up-it happens daily! Thanks for reminding me that our Heavenly Father is capable at remembering all the details.
Comment by Melissa (October 17, 2006 @ 10:20 pm )
I always tell my husband that I lose brain cells through breastfeeding. My five year old says, “Mommy, you never call us the right name!” because I go through the names of several family members before I get the correct child matched with the correct name. I remember my own mother doing this.
I recently realized that I don’t remember what time each of my children were born. I had to check the hosptital records to confirm each of their weights and heights. Now I’ll have to say, “You were born around…”
And yet, I somehow know exactly where Carter’s one black sock is, Joshua’s missing police guy can be found, and exactly what Sophie ate for dinner three nights ago (as well as what shirt my husband wore every day last week).
Comment by Tami (October 18, 2006 @ 2:30 pm )
This is too true!! That is so funny. I don’t think it ever changes either. When I was first married, my feelings were hurt that my mil couldn’t seem to remember my birthday. I thought she didn’t care enough too. Then I realized that she can’t remember her own children’s birthdays without really thinking!!
It happens to the best of us!
Comment by candi (October 18, 2006 @ 3:09 pm )
Being the brains for several people…I love that! I am going to have to use that. Dh complains that I never have my head on…now, I have a one liner to give him.
Comment by Thia (October 26, 2006 @ 3:43 pm )
I had a great laugh, when I read this! I am a substitute teacher and I never can get a student’s name, no matter how many times I have seen them! So instead of the mommy brain…I got the teacher brain! No better, just different terminology. I suspect by the time I have my own children, if any, I will have developed Alzheimer’s disease. Oh, I am imagine the day!
Comment by J.D. (November 21, 2006 @ 8:48 pm )
[...] Every family has their own table rules, and our house is no different. At mealtime, I’m not a short-order cook, except when we have a cold breakfast or sandwiches. It is my job to serve 21 meals a day (7 x 3), and it’s easiest when everyone is required to eat the same thing. [...]
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