The house is quiet, and the only noises are the chirp of crickets outside and my husband’s low reading voice. He is reading a novel on the English civil war to my oldest son while I type. It is late, and my oldest hangs haphazardly on a chair. His eyes are heavy, but he is still obviously deep in thought. The younger children finished a large bowl of cherries on the counter before bed, and they are now soundly sleeping. Life is good.

Everyone fills their lives. The question is, what will we fill it with? When most people consider simplifying their lives for the better, the first thing they restrict are the children. Children make noise, cost money, and wake in the middle of the night. They are hard work if you are going to raise them right. Yet I can think of no sweeter means to enjoy the simple, good things in life than alongside God’s gift of children.

Children are not obstacles to living a good life. Living a simple life with a full household, however, requires deliberate thinking. Forethought and asking questions (as well as answering them) are necessary for avoiding the pitfalls of a modern culture. To be simple anymore requires conscious choices. It doesn’t just happen.

The existing culture creates in us a thirst. In effort to satisfy this thirst—to find happiness, enjoy a little affluence, and maybe even “make a difference” somewhere with a tax deductible donation—we mortgage the very things that we say matter to us most: namely, our families and more time with them. While children are conceivably hindrances to the typical prevailing goal of acquiring stuff and more stuff, they are enormous wealth in God’s economy. Isn’t this the economy that matters? As another benefit, they are also usually a primary means that God works His character in a mother’s life.

Filling our lives with good things doesn’t happen on its own. If you allow it, the culture will pressure you into a lifestyle you didn’t intend to sign up for. Every older mother I know reminds me that they are “gone before you know it.” And you don’t want to look back on the good ol’ days through a rearview mirror chomping a steady diet of French fries.

Children are not the obstacles that keep us from enjoying the good life, so long as your definition of good things is not material. It takes careful thought to live simply, to nurture good character that will stand against a consumer-driven culture. I want our children to look back on their childhoods and remember family reading times that lasted too late and bowls of cherries that sat on the kitchen countertop. As I think through the things that fill our lives, I aim to purge the clutter and embrace the things that matter, especially the eternal souls in my care.