There is an elderly gentleman in our church that maintains a garden. When I pass Mr. Kalm each week, we usually greet each other with, “How are your tomatoes? Mine are huge.” (He’s always got me beat. He gets the first one every time.) The warm weather has been great for tomato production. Today was the first day I was able to bring in my tomatoes with just two hands; usually I have to use my pockets and fold my shirt into a sling to carry in the bounty.

At a recent dinner we discussed our gardening woes at length. We commiserated about the weird weather and some specific problems I’m having in my garden. After spilling my woes, he answered, “The answer is PO-tash.”

PO-tash? A quick google search indicates that potash (pot-ash) is a soil amendment that acts similar to wood ashes by raising the pH.

He told me that his neighbor is growing blue impatiens, and I told him that he is lying. Then I asked him to get me some of those seed pods.

A little later in the conversation, I asked my favorite gardening friend how to increase my vegetable production, stop blossom drop, and what to do about world peace. The answer? “Sounds like you need some PO-tash.” My corn cobs measured out at only 2-5 inches last month, but instead of PO-tash, he told me that he quit growing corn too.

I’ve never found a person too busy to give me some pointers. What many local experts lack is a humble audience, a point at which I try to rectify by listening more than I talk. When I failed with my first tomato crop several years ago, I went to Mr. Kalm to inquire about the matter. So far as I could tell, there was nothing in the Bible against Black Kow manure, so I bought a few bags. If he told me to water them only on Thursdays, I would’ve tried that as well.

If you are having some troubles, there is usually a Mr. Kalm with some PO-tash sitting in the pew just a few rows ahead of you.