How to knock on a door
Thursday, Jan 18, 2007
When Greg got a contract in California in 2004, the kids and I moved out there with him for seven months. We rented a two bedroom apartment so that our family could be together. (Yes, we were reallllly together.) There were only six of us back then.
One day I heard a knock on the door. This was unusual because the FedEx guy had already been by earlier, and we didn’t know anyone out there yet. I peered out the peephole but couldn’t make out the person. Not that I’d know who he was anyway.
When I opened the door, he thrust out his hand to greet me with a little too much enthusiasm. He was so close—about two inches from the door jam. His arm was in already. I slammed the door on his limb, dead bolted it, grabbed the phone (which still had a dial tone), and sunk to the floor.
Now, he could’ve just been a dad whose kids wanted to meet mine. He could’ve been telling me that the exercise room was open. He could’ve been returning my stolen socks from the laundry room. But since I’m an amiable pessimist, I chose to believe that he just wanted to murder me and my children. He probably drove a white cargo van.
The reason I’m bringing this up is because it happened again yesterday. Someone rang our doorbell. I checked through the door glass and didn’t recognize the woman. Our vicious guard dog, Knoxer the Boxer, growled and tried to pounce. My heart skipped a beat. She stood very, very close to the door. I sized her up, figured I could take her, and opened the door anyway.
She handed me two dozen roses.
But still. If you knock on someone’s door, take a few steps back. You might save yourself a limb or two. If you drive a suspicious vehicle, I’d suggest backing up a couple feet.
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Oh how scary that can be, and oh true!
We were recently renting a house and our doorbell rang. There was man I didn’t know at the door. I sent our boys into their room to lock their door until I figured this out. After extensive questioning and requesting ID through the locked door it turned out he was the Meter Reader and our electric meter was inside the new addition of the house. (I won’t even go into how ludicrous that part is)
We worked out a compromise from then on, I could call in the readings and avoid someone intruding our home.
What was it our Mother’s always said “It’s better to be safe than sorry”
Comment by jpeters (January 18, 2007 @ 10:22 am )
I too get scared at things like that. I won’t even open the door if I have NO IDEA who the person could be!
How nice for the roses! How beautiful!
Comment by Candi (January 18, 2007 @ 11:15 am )
You’re so funny Amy. Years ago, ettiquette (sp) was for men to knock on the door then step off of the porch while waiting for someone to come to the door. Too bad people don’t realize that now adays. I’ve had similar experiences and am an amiable pessimist too
Comment by kat (January 18, 2007 @ 11:47 am )
… I share a house with 6 other people. If met a burglar in our house in the middle of the night I’d invite him for joining me with a tea believing that it was perfectly right that he’s inside - we have so many visitors in our house I would not even wonder for a second
Have you been risen in a big city? I grew up in a cozy village where you did not even have to lock your front door and kind of that trust is still in me till today…
Comment by Helen (January 18, 2007 @ 12:12 pm )
To Amy and all other fine writers:
I am starting a website about organized religion and I am looking for content. Is there any aspect of church history or church phenomenon that interests you. I am not trying to defend the church, but I am trying to promote a discussion of how God is bigger than church. If you or anyone you know would write something for it, that would be awesome. I think it will be an opportunity to reach people who wouldn’t normally read things by Christians. Also, if anyone wants exposure as a writer or links to their site, this would be a good opportunity. my email is xjoyous1x@yahoo.com thanks
Comment by Joy (January 18, 2007 @ 12:39 pm )
I never open to the door to strangers either until Ive sized them up. You just hear too many stories of people getting into the house that way. The days of trusting people are over for me.
Comment by mrs darling (January 18, 2007 @ 1:05 pm )
Amen! Same thing goes for folks invading your personal space when you’re simply trying to be polite and have a conversation with them.
Comment by Alison (January 18, 2007 @ 1:06 pm )
aye yai yai! That’s so scary. I’m glad yesterday’s incident ended so wonderfully! Roses? Wow! I have a locked screen door between me and the door bell ringers here. Not much in the way of security, but at least it’s something. You won’t believe the men (salesmen, usually) who ask me to open the screen door to talk to them so that “I can see you better”. Huh??? No way!!
Comment by Copper's Wife (January 18, 2007 @ 1:33 pm )
I always step back and I appreciate those who do the same when knocking on my door. Two years ago, a pregnant neighbor opened her door and was attacked so I don’t open the door to any stranger when H isn’t home.
When H and I were newly married and living in an apartment, he opened the door to a stranger one night who pushed his way into the apartment. The man seemed to be on drugs or mentally ill and said he was being chased but didn’t ask to call the police or anything. It took quite a bit of coaxing for H to get him to leave.
Comment by Mrs. Happy Housewife (January 18, 2007 @ 2:03 pm )
Amy, you make me laugh!! glad you didn’t mace the poor lady with the roses!!
people at the door make me nervous too.
thanks for the laugh!
Comment by Jenny in Ca (January 18, 2007 @ 2:11 pm )
I think that somewhere there’s a metaphor for life here…just haven’t put my finger on it yet! In the meantime, I’ll heed the less abstract warning
Comment by Granny (January 18, 2007 @ 2:30 pm )
Granny, Sounds like you’ve got my 4-1-1.
I’ve been preyed upon a few times, so yes, I lock doors and watch over my shoulder. I grew up in Orlando.
The roses, by the way, were from Greg, celebrating 10 years of marriage next week.
Comment by Amy Scott (January 18, 2007 @ 3:30 pm )
After a morning spent rebooting a dead hard drive, I was tickled pink to be the weblog of the week!! I think it is my first Internet honor!
Your life sounds like an episode of 24. Never open the door to strangers. If you moved to Alabama you could change that policy. We didn’t even have a lock on our door until we put our house on the market and the Realtor required it.
Comment by Cindy (January 18, 2007 @ 3:45 pm )
Ahhh! 10 years! Congratulations!
Comment by ann (January 18, 2007 @ 3:49 pm )
Hello
Have not been by in ages and just wanted to say that is a beautiful picture on your header.
Comment by Susanna (January 18, 2007 @ 3:57 pm )
I can’t believe you opened the door even though you didn’t recognize him! My kids and I ignore the door altogether if we don’t know the person. Thankfully, here in TX the UPS people just leave packages on the porch, no need to sign.
Congrats on the roses!
Comment by Denise (January 18, 2007 @ 4:09 pm )
When we lived in a big city, I had someone knock late at night when my husband was out. I lowered my voice and hollered a very GRUFF “WHO’s AT THE DOOR?”
A little boy’s voice answered …..then when I asked (still in the gruff voice) what he wanted, eventually a man’s voice answered! I never did answer the door. My husband tells me to never open the door to a stranger and that if I tell them to go away and they don’t, to go ahead and shoot thru the door.
I’ll try the gruff voice first tho. HA
Comment by Janice (January 18, 2007 @ 4:29 pm )
Cindy, You and Mel convinced me to record an episode of 24.
It’s now programmed for all future episodes. Just when I thought I was done with TV forever. Greg was real impressed that I liked that kind of show. He gave me a wink, wink and said that I still surprise him after all these years.
I recently checked out BBC’s Pride and Prejudice for the first time last year. (Yes, I am that lame.) I am currently working through BBC’s Charles Dicken’s Bleak House. I also enjoyed PBS’s Frontier House documentary, speaking of long stays in front of the TV.
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It appears to me that there is a cross-section of people who don’t answer the door to strangers and people who don’t even lock the door. I like it that Knox is real scary. If all safe and reasonable strangers would just back up a few feet (STEP. AWAY. FROM. THE. DOOR.), we could solve this whole thing–only open the door to people several feet away and who aren’t carrying machetes, machine guns, or boxes of dynamite.
Comment by Amy Scott (January 18, 2007 @ 5:10 pm )
I mean that I was “that lame” for taking so long to see it, not that it was a lame movie.
Comment by Amy Scott (January 18, 2007 @ 5:11 pm )
Sometimes I feel like a fraidy-cat…guess I’m not alone.
Did you ever find out who the man at the door was?
Comment by Roberta (January 18, 2007 @ 10:15 pm )
On behalf of all florists… thanks for opening your door.
I deliver flowers and a lot of people need to see proof of who I am before they open their door to me. Better safe than sorry!
btw… I love your blog!
Comment by Rebecca (January 18, 2007 @ 11:24 pm )
And here I am barging in…
Very good story! It’s so true, people don’t have the etiquette they used to. Not sure why so many parents omitted HUGE social skills while rearing their children.
Comment by Gina (January 19, 2007 @ 2:31 am )
Thank goodness your keen sense of caution was in full operation! I’ve been laughed at before for insisting on ID from the water company guy who wasn’t wearing a name tag. I don’t care what anyone says, go with your gut! And be smart!
I love your blogs! Keeps us all thinking and smiling!
Comment by Deborah (January 19, 2007 @ 11:54 am )
OH I loved Bleak House too! I haven’t really seen 24 yet. I try to limit my TV addictions and currently House is the only one allowed. A negative, sarcastic man sure can make a preggo lady laugh!
Congrats on 10 years! We’ll have 15 on 2/15. And, hopefully, we’ll all be so tired from baby #6 that we won’t even care! lol
Comment by Lyn (January 19, 2007 @ 12:02 pm )
Oh, thank goodness you explained yourself. I was going to have to take you off my “rrequent reads” list when I thought you said P&P was lame.
*phew*
Comment by Kelly (January 19, 2007 @ 2:26 pm )
err…that’s “frequent”
Comment by Kelly (January 19, 2007 @ 2:26 pm )
I have a worse story than just someone coming to the door. When I was six years old my family moved from a LITTLE town in Arizona to Indianapolis. A few months after moving my parents left us at home for the evening (my oldest brother was 15). We were all in the livingroom watching a movie and I had to go to the kitchen for some reason. I didn’t want to go in the first place because the big dark house scared me. I went running (so I could get it over faster) and when I rounded the corner there was a man standing in the kitchen!!! He said he had a key that the family that lived there before us had given him. He wanted to know if they still lived there. I took off running for the living room and for my older siblings, but by the time they got there he had gone out the door already. What I always wanted to know was if he was such good friends with this family why didn’t he know they had moved six months earlier?!?!?! We became close friends years later with the family that had lived in the house before we did and the night I met them I told them that story. They never could figure out who it could have been.
Comment by Rhonda (January 19, 2007 @ 9:03 pm )
These people always seem to knock on my door around 2 or 3pm, when I’m finally in the shower. I then have to holler at my kids not to answer the door, which are already supposed to know. They then proceed to loudly beg to look out the window, ask “who is it,” etc. as they’re running to the front door. I’m happy to know I’m not the only woman who has a coronary every time someone knocks on her door! I really thought I was. If not for blogdom…
Comment by Lindsay (January 20, 2007 @ 3:10 am )
No! I never saw him again, though I kept a lookout.
Not that I know of. We still have a nursing baby, and I don’t know that we could find a sitter for the occasion if the baby was older anyway.
Comment by Amy Scott (January 20, 2007 @ 3:34 pm )
We have a locked screen door and that helps. It is interesting how many visitors try to open it when I answer the door and discover it does not open.
Comment by peri (January 20, 2007 @ 11:23 pm )
Oh too funny! Laughing helped my headache for a few seconds.
I tend to be a pessimist about those things too though, so it would not have been funny at that moment.
Roses, how sweet! Bet you are glad you opened the door!
That would have been a big OOPs if you had rejected such a gift. Happy 10th Anniversary!
Blessings,
Theresa
Comment by Theresa (January 21, 2007 @ 1:34 pm )