Comments on: Fight or flight

By: Angel

Angel — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 01:29:48 +0000

Bravo! I cannot think of anything new and different to say that has not already been said, but I loved this post! I too will have to link to it.

Thanks for putting your thoughts on “paper”.

~Angel

By: Another Heather

Another Heather — Wed, 14 Feb 2007 19:04:37 +0000

Oops, again. Anonymous is me.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 14 Feb 2007 19:01:57 +0000

I almost commented yesterday and didn’t because I couldn’t find the right words. I may not today, either. Theresa and Beccy have great points. My husband and I are always accused of overprotecting our children. We are –if that is even possible. Our job from the Owner of these children is to teach, train, and protect them so that they grow up to be His tools to use to reach others. We control and regulate their exposure to the world so that they can develop a deep relationship with Him first, and then they will get a sense of what is out there waiting for them. We talk about evil. We talk about the traps laid in waiting for them, but we don’t dump them into them now. We protect them from pollution that hinders their relationship to the Lord. We control their friendships and even exposure to family and church activities because all of these things can replace the Lord. How many of us carry around baggage that hinders our relationship with the Lord because we were exposed too soon and without adequate preparation before we had to wrestle with Satan and his designs? I do. My husband does. We want better for our children.

By: Beccy

Beccy — Wed, 14 Feb 2007 16:31:58 +0000

Well said, I agree. however I also agree with Theresa.

I think there is a difference in sheltering them from the world and protecting them. I think it is our job as parents to protect our children. I think we are always focusing on the wackos instead of mainstream who are letting their children become victims because they are too busy with their own lives.
Here’s an example, my MIL was babysitting and when I arrived my 5yr old was watching Access Hollywood and watching CSI commercials and I said something about how this is NOT ok and she went off on me saying I was sheltering her too much and when she gets into the real world she’ll have a breakdown. I don’t think we need to desensatize our children or were wackos. I think there’s a balance. (Just like you said.)

A christian gal I know thought it was ok for her to go shopping for an hour while her children 5 & 6 sat in the food court drinking slushies. This is the proctecting I’m talking about.

So there’s my two cents, take it or leave it.
Blessings.

By: shawnda

shawnda — Wed, 14 Feb 2007 02:03:19 +0000

Ahhh! I loved your post, Amy! Thanks for sharing on this! We feel like we have to homeschool (like we’d be disobedient if we didn’t….NOT that everybody needs to…..that’s just OUR convictions), and this is one of the primary reason! We really feel like we have been called to steward these little gifts/souls that the Lord has graciously given to us for a season! And our greatest JOY in watching them grow would be to see them fall in love with Jesus and treasure Him above all things! You said it all so well!!! : ) We wouldn’t have the same teaching opportunities in those “firsts” if they were in public/private school b/c we likely wouldn’t know those “firsts”!! So, in the season where those “firsts” are being exposed, we are given a sweet privilege of guiding them…..so that….by GRACE….they will one day, when they are exposed away from us (b/c they are older and not always under our direct supervision or a lot older and never under our direct supervision) they will be able to seek first the kingdom of God and respond accordingly, by grace, by grace, by grace, by grace!!!!!!! : ) Thanks again for writing on this - it was a great post!!! : )

By: Beth P.

Beth P. — Wed, 14 Feb 2007 00:12:46 +0000

Thanks for a great post, Amy. As a mother of six - one married, one in college, one on the way to college next fall and three more teenage boys at home, I am at the point of seeing them leave the nest and have rejoiced to see the fruit of homeschooling with a mix of careful sheltering and thoughtful exposure. The ratio of sheltering to exposure changes over time as we observe our children’s growing evidence of love for the Lord, self-control, and internalized values. It still doesn’t make it easy when I see them struggling with decisions and making decisions that might not be the ones I would have made, but I have to constantly remind myself that the God who is sovereign and working out his purposes in my life is also sovereignly and powerfully working out his good purposes in the lives of my believing children. But oh, it does take a lot of grace! Thanks for the reminder of John 15:17-19.

By: Candi

Candi — Tue, 13 Feb 2007 23:25:11 +0000

I agree. (As usual, don’t know if I have ever NOT agreed with you……but anyway.)

If we wrap our children completely in a bubble and never let them experience the real world we are not doing them any favors. They will be in such shock when they leave the nest, they won’t know what to do with themselves. It is our job to prepare them for that, so when they DO enter that world - they will be God’s light shining. They will be strong in the Lord and confident in where they are going. I feel sad for the children who are SO sheltered that they won’t be prepared for life later.

By: Theresa

Theresa — Tue, 13 Feb 2007 21:43:49 +0000

I agree, very well said.

I just wanted to add that before you (not just you, Amy, but everyone reading) pass judgement upon parents that maybe sheltering their children “too much”, think of how your upbringing has affected your own parenting. Those whose upbringing were less than stellar or experienced traumatic things; those experiences have given the parents wisdom enough to know how to avoid allowing it to happen to their own children and they will do everything (emphasis and I do not know how to do bold italics here!)in their human power to keep their children safe. Ultimately, the Lord is in control, but He also allowed these parents, wise parents I might add, to experience what they did so they knew how to raise their children differently. He is sovereign. These parents want to raise godly children too, but they also desire to keep their children safe. Please show grace and love, especially when you do not know the background to the situation.

I am speaking generally and realize that there are certain situations where the parents maybe in the wrong, but the majority of parents want what is best for their children. That best just may not mirror your best for your children.

I also realize that the Lord sometimes still allows traumatic things to happen to our families. And I know that this is a bit of a rabbit trail off the original post, but I believe these parents do desire to train their children from the inside out, some of them may just be at different place on the road in doing so than some of you. Hope I have covered all my basis before I really open a can of worms!

Thoughtfully said (as opposed to belligerently or offensively or even defensively ;-)).

Posting, even though tomatoes or other rubbish may be heading my way,
Theresa

By: Mark from Alabama

Mark from Alabama — Tue, 13 Feb 2007 20:58:34 +0000

Just happened on your site today. My wife and I have been laboring over the public vs. private christian vs. homescooling decision. What a great encouragement this was to me today, I will be back!

By: Kim

Kim — Tue, 13 Feb 2007 16:16:59 +0000

I agree 100%! Thanks so much for putting it into words for us all! I like what you have said and these are our thoughts exactly. As believers,we can protect our children,while at the same time,teaching them how to be in the world,but not of the world. It is all about balance,Biblical training,and dealing with our children’s hearts which is a full time job,no matter how many children you have!

I appreciate this post VERY much!

Kim