I think that when the children are restless, they need activity. Let them wear themselves out. Really. Tired children raise no cain. And the physical activity will make YOU feel better too.

Lots of love to you all.

If your children are naughty-naughty, then ask the lady who sits behind you in church what to do. She will tell you if you are too firm or too lenient or too inconsistent. She’ll do this gladly because she’s tired of the poking and pinching and tattling too.

So what exactly do you do to get them back on track? What do you do while housework is on hold? Sit and stare at them with the “mommy eye” for 48 hours?

Yes. My only job for the day is to BE CONSISTENT. That’s it. When I put them down for naps, instead of laying down myself, I sit outside the bedroom door. Before they go down, I remind them what is expected and what will follow if they choose to disregard my instructions. At the first giggle and thump, I’m in there. Ba-da-bing. Then I administer whatever discipline I told them I would if they didn’t stay in bed. (This is up to you and your husband; I won’t get specific here.)

Being consistent without loosing your cool or raising your voice is a full-time job to kiddos who’ve gotten used to too much wiggle room. Beginning the day with a stern talk from Dad is also a good move.

My point in this post, really, was to analyze where it’s breaking down, and talk with your husband (who knows your weak points) about how to remedy the situation. Stop doing what you’re doing because it’s not working. Get off the train; stop the madness. The reasons are different for why an 8-year-old is a “lazy listener” and why a 2-year-old is a “lazy listener.” My response to each, I think, depends on whether said lazy kid was not listening because of rebellion or because they just got distracted; one requires discipline and the other requires re-training. Either way, it all boils down to being consistent—which is more difficult to do with everyday, common distractions.

If this all fails, then try Jo’s advice in comment 8!

When we regroup, usually it is during a time when Dad is home to tag team the efforts, but I have done it solo before, it’s just harder. Anyway, we generally start by cleaning up the living room. Often the fact that it is messy makes the children have a harder time playing nicely, listening well, and obeying with a good attitude. Then, I try to focus on simple tasks they can help me with, like sort laundry or something that requires their obedience, but I’m not working so hard that I don’t make sure they obey. Then I get really picky. I tell them that I’m only going to call their name once, loud enough I think they can hear, and if they don’t answer, there is a consequence. I try to be extra pleasant since generally for a while there are lots of consequences, but VERY, VERY consistent. Nothing goes by- no ingoring, no scowling, no whining, no fighting, etc. until they have been doing the instant obeying thing for a while and then we try going back to normal. If it doesn’t work, then we didn’t focus on it long enough and back to square one we go.

Three other things I have found helpful for maintaining general obedience and avoiding the “crazy” house: 1. Stopping to read books. Sometimes I just get so caught up in what I need to do that I try to make the kids play too long by themselves. They get bored and tired of not having my attention. So reading a book gets some mommy time, some rest time, and some quiet activity all at once. 2. Clean up the toys. This is dh answer everytime and it works so often. When the children are restless and I’m going crazy and I can’t handle it, the first thing dh does when he comes in to help is make the children clean up their toys. Somehow it brings peace back to the situation. Of course, this isn’t a couple of days task, this is more like a 15 minutes task, but it really makes a difference during the day. 3. LAst, but certainly not least is prayer. It’s the one that I most often forget and the one that is the most helpful. When things are hard we gather all together and ask Jesus for help. After all, I need Jesus just as much as they do and it’s nice when we are all asking for his assistance together. And He answers.

Hope this is helpful.

When I find myself losing some feelings of sanity, I put the older two in their bedrooms, turn on happy music for them, and let them play. If I need to take a nap, I can, otherwise I can work.

Lazy listeners: Something that is helping me with daughter (2 yr) before I give a request, ask “Look at mommy.” Then if they don’t, I simply say, “When mommy says look at me, then you must look at my eyes” I somehow forgot to teach my two year old to do this sooner, but she’s getting it. Teaching explicitly what I expect has been helpful.