I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. ~Romans 12:1-2

This verse is on my mind today. I figure that a lot of life’s problems could be solved simply by putting ourselves at the mercy of God, giving ourselves wholly to Him. We have to settle once and for all that there is nothing “off limits” to God, and then we have to do it again each day.

There are times that I wonder, “What’s the answer here?” (What’s the will of God in this matter?) In A Lamp For My Feet, Elisabeth Elliot reminds us, “We hold certain reservations about how far we are willing to go, what we will or will not do, how much God can have of us or of what we treasure. Then we pray for guidance. It will not work.” Now I know why!

The way I remember it, the air was hot and still. These were the Florida summers of my childhood, after all. It was wet even when it wasn’t raining. When it did rain—which was every afternoon at 4 o’clock –steam would rise and sizzle off the sidewalk and driveway. Then the sun would return with less force, but the mosquitoes made up for the sun backing off. It was brutal.

That didn’t stop us, though. My neighborhood girlfriend and I set up a car wash in my driveway and waited there for customers each summer. Our sign was a chalkboard that read “CAR WASH” in our fanciest, swirliest, girliest writing. Our clientele consisted of the last stay-at-home moms of the 80’s. They were a dying breed even back then, but there were a few who passed, felt sorry enough, and turned around. We washed, Windexed, and vacuumed for two bucks, which was a great deal even considering inflation and the fact that scrawny ten-year-olds were the ones wielding the elbow grease.

After our first customer of the day left, we’d close up shop. Splitting the two bucks one-and-one, we’d hop on our bikes and race to the convenience store at the entrance to our neighborhood. We’d blow all our money —me on beef jerky and a popsicle, her on a Laffy Taffy—and ride home. On the way home, we’d pedal slowly, while I caught the drips off my twin-pop.

Alongside our car wash business, we tried lemonade stands and mowing lawns. Both yielded pathetic returns. It wasn’t until I turned eleven and got my first babysitting job that business started to pick up. I became popular and continued to be all the way through college. Once, three moms in a cul-de-sac collaborated to have me watch all their children full-time for the whole summer. I was only fourteen. Desperate housewives existed back then; they always have.

It wasn’t good enough to work all day; when someone called in the evening, I’d take that job too, falling asleep on someone’s couch sometime after midnight. I worked a lot, not understanding that there’d be plenty of time to do that later. But I had other reasons too, so in some ways, it was a good thing.

Besides the fact that I was not mature enough to raise other people’s children, there was another annoying part of the job. Before I got my driver’s license, I had to catch a ride home from whomever I was working for. Nine times out of ten, the parent or boyfriend was drunk. They’d hunch over the steering wheel every time, drive 10 mph, and tell me stories that I didn’t want to know. Even back then, I despised drunk drivers, as I’d known a few cases up close and personal already. It never occurred to me to opt out of the situation because like the summer air, it was all just a part of living.

After two years with the same host, I’ve finally switched. You might have noticed (or not) that this site has experienced quite a bit of downtime. I hope the new host will keep us up and running. We’re also using the latest version of WordPress now. I like the new features, but I’m still tweaking things. Don’t be tempted by that casino spam that’s slipping through! You must resist.

I’m sorry about all the pings if you read by a feed. Valerie is working on it today, so there might be some more glitches until it gets worked out. I’d appreciate a comment if you have a second to let me know of anything else that’s not working correctly. It’s helpful if you can include a note about which browser you’re using. Thanks.

My oldest son had a rough weekend. In three separate incidents, he managed to score a busted windshield, a busted lip, and a busted nose. It’s tough being eight.

First, I want to say that we take discipline seriously, but the nose and lip were not his penalty for breaking someone’s windshield at church! Here’s what happened. He threw a long pass and overshot a little. The foolish part was that it was a golf ball. Did you know that Florida Statute 627.7288 states that insurance deductibles do not apply to windshield damages? In other words, the cost to fix it is $0. While I was happy to learn this, it requires that the parents be creative in order to teach young chaps the value of restitution.

This boyhood right of passage went well. The owner of the car, an elderly gentleman at our church, handled it wonderfully. My son will remember this incident in twenty years when his own boy breaks the neighbor’s window too. The apology was painful and a lengthy letter will follow later this week.

The bloody nose and broken lip happened while he was playing with the big boys the next day. Greg frequently warns him that injuries are part of the deal when you’re out of your league, which is tough on a mama’s heart. If he wants to scrap with someone a foot taller then he shouldn’t be surprised not to come out as the top dog. There is a pecking order, and he needs to learn his place.

I feel sorry for him, but not enough to interfere with the consequences.

Remember not the sins of my youth, nor my transgressions: according to thy mercy remember thou me for thy goodness’ sake, O LORD.
~Psalm 25:7

If you were subscribed to this site by email, I accidentally deleted your subscription. Sorry! You can re-subscribe by following this link.

The skinny: I don’t give away your address. It’s easy to unsubscribe when you’re tired of me. You only receive one email on the days that I post. It’s that easy.

You’ve probably already seen cost estimates for raising a child from infancy to 18-years-old. The figures are outrageous no matter the source. More numbers are in this week. The Wall Street Journal ran a piece on March 3, 2007 about how much it costs in 2007 to raise a child [emphasis mine]:

With the debate about the country’s wealth gap heating up again, pampered kids provide some of the most dramatic examples, from toddlers in $800 strollers to 10-year-olds with cellphones. [sic] But for many families, drawing the line between attentive parenting and extravagance is a tough call; even parents who are relatively strapped will go to great lengths for their children.

[snip]

We placed all these expenses on a spectrum, from those that parents and experts say are the most common, up to more unusual — and costly — frills. At the lowest end, our estimates came in at about $800,000 (in 2007 dollars) through the age of 17. Add in extras like private school, a nanny and a flat-screen TV set in a kid’s bedroom, and that figure climbs to $1.6 million.

[snip]

A stay-at-home mom in Needham, Mass., Cory Lewkowicz, says her family is comfortable, but not with unlimited resources. With a degree in developmental psychology, Ms. Lewkowicz feels adventure travel is one of the most esteem-building gifts she can give her two children.

You might be inclined to consider that children benefit from all this “esteem-building” were it not for common sense a piece that ran a week earlier titled, College students get an A in narcissism. What do you think? Is there a link? What kids need these days is more responsibility for contributing to the communities and families which they are a part, not more “adventure travel.”

I don’t hold my position because I feel badly that we can’t afford cell phones for our children. I’m not bellyaching because we hold a lower economic status than the families in the article. On the contrary, we can probably monetarily “afford” more than we currently allow our children.

Yet, the Bible teaches that godliness with contentment is great gain. The way to cultivate contentment, however, is not by feeding our material appetites. It will never be satisfied. When one “goal” is reached, there will always be another one. We are not by nature a content people.

John Piper likes to say, “God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.” Let our goal be Jesus. We will never feel satified with our lives until we realign our priorities. We were created for worship.

It is easier to serve Jesus when we live neither rich or poor. That’s why the Proverb says, “Give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread.” (30:8) God knew our frailty and how we’d love money more than Him. In fact, the Bible is full of stories to warn us about trusting in anything other than God.

Our family is reading through the Bible. We are in 2 Kings now and noticing a pattern: Israelites are in trouble, God delivers, Israelites forget, Israelites look to foreign gods and kings for help. We do it too.

But back to the article. How do you raise one child given the costs, let alone more than one child? When I write again, I will tell you how we are doing it for a small fraction of the cost and loving it. I hope some of you will share your tips in that post later.

All our babies cry at their birthdays. Here’s proof of our #4’s tears. The pictures above are of #5 grabbing the candle. #2 grabbed the candle, too. Am I mother-of-the-year or what?

Doesn’t it seem like just a little while ago that we were anticipating his arrival? My husband found out on my blog. That is my all-time favorite post.

I’ll get back to usual business later. Just wanted to share.

For my birthday, Greg likes to pull out the trump card: flowers—and lots of them. We spend a lot of time on our front porch. I noticed the old flowers were having trouble along our front walkway due to poor soil conditions. Greg dug out the whole bed and replaced it with compost, peat moss, and more impatiens. Now, that’s a great gift!

The annoying part about being married to a rocket scientist is that I will never win a chess game or hold a map in a way that he doesn’t laugh at me. Other than that, it’s all good. Congratulations on another good launch, Greg.

About ten years ago, I got serious about finances. The most obvious reason I buckled down was because I’ve always had so little of it. Back in the day, there’d be many occasions when I only had ten bucks to my name. Too, I’ve only ever held low wage jobs, so I had to figure out how to make every cent count. It all began with a simple equation. Before buying something, I’d calculate how many hours I’d have to work for it. After I began thinking in these terms, I began making different decisions.

I’ve had a lot of crummy jobs, but there is one that stands out the most. One summer, I worked as a day-camp counselor for a private school in Orlando. There were two adults and sixty kids from 7:30 a.m. – 6:00 p.m. It was hot. I always ended up with outside duty because the other worker outranked me. I made about fifty bucks for the entire day. Man, it stunk.

So, when I’d come across a pair of shoes or some other money-guzzling depreciating asset, I’d think, “Is an entire day of summer camp worth it?” The answer was always and forever, a resounding, “No way.” And so, the seeds of frugality were watered and tended.

It wasn’t long after Greg and I married that our first child was on the way. I was teaching first grade in a public school by then (see, I told you I’ve only worked low wage jobs). I taught up until a week before he was born and then quit. The income reduction—such that it was—wasn’t a hardship because we never saw it. We purposed to live on Greg’s income alone. Even though Greg’s salary as a youth pastor was below poverty level, we lived well below our means. If you want to have enough to give away, save for retirement, and stay out of debt, it’s not good enough to live within your means, you have to live well below it.

Everyone thinks it’s swell to live below your means when you’re rich, but we weren’t then and never have been. As I said, we were well below poverty level according to government figures. There’s no way that we should’ve made ends meet, let alone save money. So how did we do it?

There are several key factors that helped us start a family on a very low income without going into debt. The first is God’s provision. During that time, our shoes never wore out. After a few years and a small increase of income, stuff started breaking. It was almost easier, we mused, being poor because nothing ever broke! We’ve never had any unusual medical expenses or circumstances. I’m not saying that people who experience disaster do not have God’s provision, just that His provision will look different than ours. In the beginning, we were blessed with God’s provision in our housing, a major expense. We were able to rent cheaply a house from Greg’s dad. We don’t take any of this for granted, but we still had to do our part.

The second factor to succeeding on a small income is that Greg and I are both savers. In a marriage, so say the experts, one spouse is a spender and the other is a saver. Admittedly, being on the same page makes things a lot easier; we’ve always been in agreement about finances. If we happen to fight, it’s only because he forgot that I’m right about everything…but seriously, we don’t argue about money. You can do a lot to eliminate and avoid debt, but it won’t get you far unless everyone is on the same page.

Thinking outside of the box is the third key that got us through tight times, and probably the most difficult to explain. People don’t want to do without, and old habits are hard to break. It requires a new way of looking at your life. I never felt entitled to new things, and really, making the most out of what we had was a great source of entertainment. It still is. The Complete Tightwad Gazette was my inspiration, not for its specific examples but because it taught me how to think about these things. I can’t recommend it enough.

When I went on a radical diet and exercise regimen a few years back, I made the choice to value fitness, energy, and well-being over my addiction to food and laziness. When I’d get a craving, I’d ask myself, “Which do you want more? It’s your choice.” In the same way, a person who is a paycheck away from bankruptcy must decide that they value financial freedom over a double-shot latte. You have to want it. You have to catch the vision. That way, the sacrifices required to move toward the goal become part of the game. I can’t explain it, except to say that I’ve never felt deprived. It feels alright to have a latte whenever I want it, but it feels invigoratingly awesome to take steps toward financial independence. Choose the better thing.

Let me give an example. Now that times aren’t as lean, we could reasonably afford to spend $300 on a crib for Kid #5. But the hand-me-down crib that worked for #1 works just as well for #5. Here’s the thing, though: the side rail doesn’t go down. It never has. I frequent garage sales and listen to playground mommy chatter, but until I can score one for a good price, we’ll just stretch a little more to pick up Baby and keep the crib with the broken rail. (It is not a safety hazard.) The crib is a depreciating asset, and unless it produces income or increases in value, we ought to think carefully before purchasing a new one.

Things aren’t perfect. We live in a fallen world. Sometimes we have to live with the consequences of our bad choices. But here’s the thing—each little step in the right direction is another step away from the wrong one. Do what you can to choose wisely for now, always mindful that our real treasures lie in another place.

Baseball season is in full swing. The Scotts fill the bottom bleacher at every game and cheer for our Reds. It’s our family thing. In between plays, my girls waste their quarters on Big League chew.

The concession people love to see my three girls coming. (They don’t yet have their mother’s shrewdness.) I am purposely letting them drain their sparkly purses to teach them a lesson later. Their eyes are bigger than their stomachs, and their money supply is ample from Christmas relatives. They drop a nice sum at each game. But it won’t be for long, and I won’t loan them money later. They serve their appetites, not holding it for a better day, a better deal. They’re only 2, 5, and 7. The problem is, only some folks grow out of it.

The Reds have begun the season with four wins, zero losses. Two games were shut-outs. No wonder I love baseball. Actually, I don’t enjoy professional baseball, just Little League. There is more suspense in Little League. With the younger kids, when a pop fly goes to right field, there is a chance that the kid will drop it. (Small chance in the majors; likely chance in Minor 2.) You yell, grip your neighbor, and watch the ball sail through the air in slow-motion. There is no suspense in pro-ball. They always make the play.

Speaking of good plays, my son had a good second base play last night. He also caught a fly, stole home, and hit his first triple. He got a homerun due to an error two seasons ago, but this was a legitimate triple—no errors. (An error occurs when a runner advances due to a mistake by the fielder—usually an overthrow.) Even the ump was almost fair.

Yes, it is spring again. We should have some apple pie.

I mentioned last week that before I make a purchase I calculate how long Greg has to work to pay for it. This is a good way to curb impulse spending and decipher between needs and wants. If you have to work 150 hours for a so-so indulgence that will last about 15 minutes, it’s easy to see that the cost vs. benefit is unbalanced. But there are hidden costs that are easy to overlook when making these quick mental calculations. Don’t overlook them.

A penny saved is not a penny earned; it is much more. A penny saved is, hopefully, a penny wisely invested. Conversely, for every paycheck—or every penny earned—- a sizable portion of that is taxed. So, if you earn $20/hour, you do not bring home $20/hour. If something costs $10, then a half-hour of work is not an even trade. You must pay the government. After taxes, the number gets even lower if you remember to deduct transportation and other incidentals (uniforms, lunches out, dry-cleaning) associated with the job. You’re doing very well if you are clearing $15/hour.

While the whole country will tell you that two incomes are necessary for survival, for many cases it’s not. Don’t believe it and don’t overlook the value of reducing expenses as a way to beat them at their own game.

As I’ve shared before:

Over the years, I’ve sought to enhance the family economy by contributing income. I’ve taught first grade, held piano lessons in my home, dabbled in real estate, and done odd jobs. Looking back, however, my greatest contribution has been saving money by reducing expenses.

Entire books have been written on the subject, but I think it can be boiled down to two key behaviors: staying home and practicing contentment. Leaving the house costs money and discontentment costs you more than just money.

[snip]

Common practice is to do all you can to maximize your income, but there is another way. There are only two variables in the equation (income and expenses), yet people often think that the income factor is the only variable. It’s not. Reducing your expenses is also a variable, and if you think of it this inverse way, the gap between the two is a lot smaller.

In my opinion, it is easier to reduce your expenses than it is to generate more capital. (For diehards, the deprivation is a game and brings satisfaction, not a sense of woe…) Plus, reducing your need for stuff is more in line with living simply. Generating more income without scrutinizing your outflow often leaves you on a hamster wheel that is difficult to get off.

Less stuff means that there is less to maintain. Less to maintain equals more time with your family and Creator. And when there is that quiet, unrushed time, it’s easy to see that the stuff we’re chasing after is all going to burn anyway. I often miss that fact when I’m blinded by busyness, stuff, and chasing the wind.

Have you ever seen an old, candid snapshot of kids? The couch is all ratty. There are brown-paneled walls in the background. The table is covered in junk. But they’re all smiling and some of them are missing teeth. The glimmers in their eyes blind them to the green shag carpet. Maybe you’ve seen some of those pictures too. Good times. That’s the stuff of life.

One last point about frugality and then I’ll move on with the blog. I just think it’s important to elaborate on the subject because there are moms who want to be at home with their children instead of in the workforce. I don’t think it’s enough to send messages without explaining the “how to.” They write, “Yes, I want to stay home with my children, but how can we afford it?” or “Yes, I want to have one more child, but how do I do it without going crazy? I’m already crazy.”

When I began this blog, it wasn’t intended to encourage and equip women to be the best mothers that they could be. I don’t think my time has come for that yet. Instead, I want to post pictures and brag about how cute my kids are. I want to give my father-in-law something to read. I want to tell you the stories that I know. And so, here is another quick story on the subject of frugality:

I held a lot of odd jobs while I was putting myself through college. One particularly memorable one was when I worked for a CPA. I did the billing for his practice, and so I trust you’ll believe me when I say that he was a very rich man. He was the richest guy I knew.

The funny thing about him, though, was that he drove a beat-up old VW. It wasn’t old in the classic sense; it was old in the embarrassing sense. Every one of his employees drove a nicer car than him. (I was the only other one who drove a car from former decades, but it wasn’t because of my good sense. It was because I was scraping by.) When he drove home and parked in the driveway of his mansion, you’d assume that the car belonged to the hired help.

Now, I’m not saying that voluntary poverty is next to godliness and everyone should buy junk. I just learned an important lesson during that time—that wealthy people invest in their savings into appreciating assets (real estate, mutual funds, starting new businesses) and minimize putting money into liabilities or depreciating assets (vehicles, clothes, furniture). One reason the “rich get richer and the poor get poorer” is because wealthy people can differentiate between appreciating and depreciating assets. If I am poor, I want it to be because of the Lord’s hand and doing and not because I buried my talent into the ground.

Now, obviously the Scotts aren’t exactly brilliant. After all, we own a seven-month-old Boxer who is not yet earning his keep. Talk about a depreciating, money-guzzling liability! I can’t say that you all didn’t warn us.

I don’t remember where I read the story, but it went like this. A lady grew frustrated that her package from UPS had been delayed. Wondering where it went, she got online, hunted down a tracking number, and proceeded to locate her missing package. This took awhile. Finally locating the right account, she read that the UPS status records indicated that the package was…delivered! She opened her front door, and there lying propped next to the door was the package. The irony of using the world wide web to find what was sitting on her front porch was not lost.

A similar situation happened to us this morning and I worry. My son used the computer to see if it was going to rain today. While my seven- and eight-year-olds were arguing over the weather, my two-year-old marched to the front door, opened it, and declared, “WE NEED TO GET AN UMBRELLA!” It was pouring.

While technological advances often help save lives, the fact that it also complicates our lives can’t be overlooked. Do I need every new technology? Do its benefits outweigh its disadvantages? Does the usefulness outweigh the maintenance? I ponder this one every time my email crashes. The trick, of course, is that we must learn to use it instead of being used by it. If you think about it, in both cases above, the obvious was sitting right on our front door.

I have a reputation as being anti-technology; in fact, as being something of a neo-Luddite. People who have labeled me as such know nothing about the Luddites. If they did, they wouldn’t use the term unless they meant to compliment me. In any case, to come to the point, I regard it as stupid to be anti-technology. That would be something like being anti-food. We need technology to live, as we need food to live. But, of course, if we eat too much food, or eat food that is of no nutritional value, or eat food that is infected with disease, we turn a means of survival into its opposite. The same may be said of technology. Not a single philosopher would dispute that technology may be life-enhancing or life-diminishing. Common sense commands us to ask, Which is it? Only a fool would blithely welcome any technology without having given serious thought to the question.

—Neil Postman, Building a Bridge to the 18th Century (1999), p. 44

Greg here. I’ve still got the password… for a little while.

You may have noticed that Amy has been a little scarce here lately. We’ve been making a lot of plans regarding our future: looking for the right place in the country, planning our budget, and getting ready for a trip to go look at land. In fact, the plan was to be on the road yesterday to head to other parts to look at some land prospects and hopefully make an offer on one.

This passage has been sort of an unwritten motto (well, until now that is) as I have made many plans in my life but also subjected them to the Lord’s direction. He has altered my course more than one time. On all of those occasions, I found the important thing was not that I chose the “right door” so I could be “in the center of His will” but rather that whatever I planned to do those plans were subject to His redirection.

Which brings me back to our cancelled plans for a road trip and Amy’s lack of posting lately. Not that what is going on is one of those major directional changes, but it is a slight change in our plans. Amy has not been feeling well lately; in fact, she has not been feeling well at all. It seems that God has planned a new blessing for our family which we expect to arrive in early November.

Along with this particular blessing comes some difficult days of “morning” sickness – the kind that lasts all day and all night. So, Amy will probably remain scarce for a while and we will continue to plan our way and allow the Lord to direct our steps.