Busted
Monday, Mar 5, 2007
My oldest son had a rough weekend. In three separate incidents, he managed to score a busted windshield, a busted lip, and a busted nose. It’s tough being eight.
First, I want to say that we take discipline seriously, but the nose and lip were not his penalty for breaking someone’s windshield at church! Here’s what happened. He threw a long pass and overshot a little. The foolish part was that it was a golf ball. Did you know that Florida Statute 627.7288 states that insurance deductibles do not apply to windshield damages? In other words, the cost to fix it is $0. While I was happy to learn this, it requires that the parents be creative in order to teach young chaps the value of restitution.
This boyhood right of passage went well. The owner of the car, an elderly gentleman at our church, handled it wonderfully. My son will remember this incident in twenty years when his own boy breaks the neighbor’s window too. The apology was painful and a lengthy letter will follow later this week.
The bloody nose and broken lip happened while he was playing with the big boys the next day. Greg frequently warns him that injuries are part of the deal when you’re out of your league, which is tough on a mama’s heart. If he wants to scrap with someone a foot taller then he shouldn’t be surprised not to come out as the top dog. There is a pecking order, and he needs to learn his place.
I feel sorry for him, but not enough to interfere with the consequences.
Remember not the sins of my youth, nor my transgressions: according to thy mercy remember thou me for thy goodness’ sake, O LORD.
~Psalm 25:7
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A friend of mine, who has three boys (oldest 16), and is herself all of four-foot-ten, recently commented to me that “the problem with today’s kids is that their parents aren’t involved enough with them, and they don’t eat enough dirt!” This is her version of your (as always) very sensible observation that children (my friend and I would apply this to girls as well as boys) sometimes need to learn the consequences of their actions, where appropriate, the hard way.
I hope your wee man is feeling better, and is ready to go out and take on the next challenge!
Comment by Mrs. P. (March 5, 2007 @ 1:43 pm )
While I was happy to learn this, it requires that the parents be creative in order to teach young chaps the value of restitution.
Have him pay the insurance company for it!
Comment by jdavidb (March 5, 2007 @ 2:35 pm )
Ouch! Tough lessons to learn… and tougher lessons for a mother to watch as they are learned. Been there, done that and have the t-shirt!
Comment by Lady Why (March 5, 2007 @ 4:06 pm )
My son and I were just talking about a family member that we like but no one can stand to be around. He’s now in his 60s but was an only child of older parents and was always protected as a kid and when he got in trouble, it was “never his fault”. (My daughter, who reads your blog, will know exactly who I’m talking about.)
As my son was a mid-life baby (I was mid life, not him…), my mind quite often went to that lovely but not very wise mama of my brother-in-law. So we had our share of coming home with bumps and bruises, having to pay for acting in an unwise manner (nearly burning the neighbors house down is funny now…not then), him getting hurt and mom biting her tongue so “I told you so” did not come out…as well as mom not fainting at the sight of blood.
Good job, Amy, and uh…take some pictures. It will be proof when they grow up that they got into some scrapes. It’s remarkable how they can’t remember their scrapes, except for nearly burning the neighbor’s house (he and his best friend were doing “science experiments”). Family legends are such fun.
Comment by Coffeeteabooksandme (March 5, 2007 @ 6:06 pm )
Hi Amy,
I’ve come to your blog through another, and I have to tell you how much I enjoy your writings. The picture of the clothes on the line, makes me hungry for spring…In our parts, if I were to do that now, we’d end up with clothes like cardboard. We’ve just had freezing rain and a nice blizzard.
Sorry to hear about your trials, my youngest still isn’t old enough to throw well..so I can’t relate quite yet.
take care,
Leanne
Comment by Farmers wife (March 6, 2007 @ 10:37 am )
Consequences are good….we use the sowing and reaping principle a lot at our house! : )
Good job and excellent post!
Kim
Comment by Kim (March 6, 2007 @ 11:26 am )
hee hee … my oldest is a month away from turning 8. (We have four boys). And I could just imagine this happening. He’s our long-pass throwing, hang with the big boys and bite off more than you can chew fellow (and always seen with a book, as well - how do you put those all together in one person?). Yes, we will be in your shoes one day soon, I’m guessing. You’re doing a great job with your guy.
Comment by brooke (March 6, 2007 @ 11:39 am )
When my two year old daughter knocked a tooth out I cried. 3 years later when my two year old son knocked his lose it was like a right of passage. He was officially a boy. It is very hard to stand back, but in the end I think we will be very proud mama’s.
Comment by Julie (March 6, 2007 @ 12:48 pm )
It only get’s better as they get older. My son has manage to do more damage then I can ever remember doing. But, he is learning.
Comment by Anita Koller (March 6, 2007 @ 3:44 pm )
Hi Amy,
I came across your blog when searching for Lies Homeschooling Moms Believe.
I cracked up when I read this post because I could’ve said it! Well, except for the golf ball part.
Take care!
Comment by Mrs. Nicklebee (March 6, 2007 @ 9:03 pm )