Looking forward
Saturday, Apr 28, 2007
This week I hit the 12 week mark and awoke, paused, and stared at the ceiling. I waited. For several weeks, I kept telling myself, “If you just can make it to 12 weeks…” Well, nothing magical happened. There was no mood music in the background, and I had to reach for the bucket and lie still all the same. Rats.
Morning sickness often completely subsides by 14 weeks, according to the people who study these things. But 14 weeks is too far from 6 weeks, so I went with 12 weeks. Since we know this is “all in my head”, I had to believe 12 was the better number.
We can’t please God without faith, but our belief has to be in the goodness and sovereignty of the God who controls all things rather than a magic number. While it can’t hurt to look forward with hope, we must remember that there is a day coming that is far better than the one at 14 weeks—the day when we see Him.
Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
~I Peter 1:8-9
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It will be over soon. Even if you don’t feel well all the way through, it will still be over soon. You will make it because God will give you the grace and strength and courage to make it. You are doing great and at the end of this you have the hope of a brand new little one to hold and raise up for Him.
Tee Hee– did I get to post first?
Praying for you, Amy
Comment by Another Heather (April 28, 2007 @ 5:14 pm )
Hi Amy, I know your pain. I have a three year old son that I spent until the sixth month throwing up every hour. I lost so much weight I was hospitalized twice-good times. After all that I decided for some reason to do it again. I am just entering my second trimester and I seem to get more sick as the hormones get stronger. This time I have a toddler to tend to so it is hard. How do you do it with all your kids?? did you have this each time??
Comment by karen (April 28, 2007 @ 7:00 pm )
Yea, Heather!
Karen, I had nausea and vomiting with every baby but not this bad. This is the very worst. You just get through it. I don’t know what else to add; it’s just really hard.
This is the first time I’ve had regular help. My church family, some immediate family, and a MOMYS family with a 13-year-old homeschooled daughter (Bless her!) have come over almost every day. I had someone here every hour this past week because Greg was out of town on business. I never thought we could swing this much support–until it happened.
We’re real honest. If people ask how we are, we answer, “Barely hanging on. Terrible.”
We give the kids “the death talk” so that people won’t hate babysitting them. They behave nicely and that makes it easier to get help. (It’s still hard to find someone willing to take on five little ones.) As for the dog, we put him in a kennel this past week, because frankly, we could tell some/most of our help was annoyed by his puppyness. Knoxer the Boxer is skating on thin ice.
Comment by Amy Scott (April 28, 2007 @ 7:16 pm )
Well, bless your heart, I don’t know how you feel, as I have never had mourning/all day sickness. But I feel for you. Having the what’s in there come out is never fun no matter what the reason. But you know that soon you will be back in charge and once again sharing your heart with us. Yea! Take those thoughts captive and look forward to the reward of today. There is no joy like a baby.
Love and Thoughts,
Miss Meg
Comment by LadyMother (April 28, 2007 @ 7:22 pm )
So glad you have help this time. The Lord is good to provide that for you during such a hard time.
Is Greg still working both jobs or does his new at home job require travel too? Just curious.
Blessings of strength and encouragement be yours today,
Theresa
Isaiah 55:8; 43:18-19
Comment by Theresa (April 28, 2007 @ 7:57 pm )
The only way we got thru last summer was with my oldest boys’ help. It is hard. It is awful. I think I didn’t start functioning well until 16 weeks (sorry) and had the only IV at 13 weeks. Yuck.
But this boy in my arms makes it more than worth it. He even makes me want to do it all again. Thank God for His mercies which are fresh every morning. I’m so glad you’ve had help, Amy. Do you find it hard to get people to understand –I mean well-meaning people often want to give tips that can’t possibly work for HG. That often made me feel I should just be trying harder to cope and not ask for help.
Comment by Lyn (April 28, 2007 @ 8:21 pm )
Thanks for posting, Amy, admidst the suffering. I appreciated your thoughts on looking forward. I’m dealing with a long term rehabilitation process, and tell myself “if I can just make it through this month”…each month!! But it _does_ help!! Thinking of it in bite size pieces, even though I don’t know how long it will be altogether…and it does help, too, thinking about what we have to look forward to “someday” when this life is over!
How do people usually respond when you tell them honestly how you’re doing? I’ve tried that…and…well…it can create an awkwardness in most cases, I’ve found. Any tips?
Take care, and hoping you can find the good bits in each day.
Comment by Julie in CA (April 28, 2007 @ 8:56 pm )
Amy, I have no idea how you feel. I am still in high school. But I want you to know regardless that your words have been an encouragement to me long before this, and now they are even more effective. Thank you for giving me a glimpse into the sacrifices of motherhood and of those who follow Christ closely. I pray you are rejoicing in the hope to come.
Comment by Carly (April 28, 2007 @ 9:08 pm )
Every time, I hoped that I would wake up at 12 weeks and the nausea would be gone. Who exactly did they study when they made these statistics???
Comment by Charmin (April 28, 2007 @ 9:19 pm )
I’m so sorry, Amy. I keep hoping/praying that every day will be better for you.
You mentioned somewhere back that you thought your problems were related to something…but I don’t think I saw what you had concluded. If I’m prying too much - don’t answer.
I’m just wondering what you are thinking is perhaps the cause this time around. (???)
Comment by Holly (April 28, 2007 @ 10:10 pm )
Poor Amy-I’m so sorry that you feel so sick!
The thought of any food probably makes you feel like wretching again, and you’ve probably tried anything, but have you tried any ginger pills or ginger-type rememdies? Ginger is anti-nausea, though you are way past just nausea….I just thought I’d mention it if it would help even a little.
Feeling for you,
Molly
Comment by Molly with Two Mills (April 28, 2007 @ 10:51 pm )
Amy,
so sorry you are so sick. I was really bad with my 4th..tho not as bad as you sound. My Dr. gave me a combination of part of a sleeping pill and a B vitamin..can’t remember which one. The sad/funny part was if I took the whole dose he recommended, I wasn’t nauseous, but it knocked me out cold..if I lessened the dose it didn’t help me. So, some days I had to decide to be sick, or to call someone to come over so I could take the medicine, stop the room from spinning-but sleep half the day.
It is so hard with little ones to take care of, I really feel for you. I will be praying for you. I really look forward to your post saying you feel better.
Comment by Jenny in Ca (April 28, 2007 @ 10:59 pm )
GLORY!!!! There’s a great day coming!!! That made me shout! Amy you have been in our prayers, hang in there.
Comment by Tracy in ky (April 28, 2007 @ 11:54 pm )
I feel so bad for you. I hate being sick to my stomach and I can’t imagine living like that for weeks on end. I really hope that the special number is 12 1/2 weeks?!?! I am so glad that you have friends and family to help you with the kids. God bless you and your family!
Comment by Lu (April 29, 2007 @ 7:28 am )
Amy,
I am about a week behind you, due with #6 on Nov. 14th. I have been praying for you. I’ve experienced enough morning sickness to know that weeks on end of it would be just awful. Please know that there is someone in Boone, NC praying for you. I check in on you regularly, hoping for an update that you are better. I will keep praying for your health and your family during this difficult time. PTL that God has provided you with precious people to help! I am asking the Lord to bring you relief very soon.
When I was pregnant with my twins, I had some severe sickness. I remember at 11 weeks feeling like it would never end. It didn’t end then, but stopped almost magically at 13 weeks. You are so close to the end of the first trimester. I pray that VERY soon the sickness will be over and you will be able to experience all the JOY of pregnancy!!!
Comment by Tina (April 29, 2007 @ 8:33 am )
Amy,
I have to tell you that my heart and prayers go out to you.
I just came across your blog today. I was sick with both my sons in the hospital on and off,the whole nine months. .I hope that you start feeling better soon..
Comment by Erica (April 29, 2007 @ 1:49 pm )
Amy - I’m just a few weeks ahead of you and I think it’s getting worse as time goes by:( I actually started this pregnancy thinking it was going so well! The problem is that I want so badly to do this again - I truly want all the blessings God has for us. But I’m so…well, scared - there’s no other word for it. I know this is NOT the time to ask, so feel free to think on this months from now when you’re holding that precious baby, but how do you gear yourself up to do it again after this?
Comment by Shannon Miller (April 29, 2007 @ 5:01 pm )
You poor thing.
Praying you feel better soon.
Comment by sprittibee (April 29, 2007 @ 6:58 pm )
Just checking in!
Comment by Tammy (April 29, 2007 @ 7:28 pm )
I will be 14 weeks tomorrow and I hope that my morning sickness goes away. I have also been sick since 6 weeks and it is no fun. I can at least go a couple days without vomiting now! Yeah!
I pray that your next 2 weeks will fly by.
Comment by Amber (April 29, 2007 @ 7:30 pm )
I am so happy to hear that you have daily/hourly help. Who knows? Perhaps this baby is the next Mozart, Einstein or Mother Teresa—someday soon it will be worth it all!
Comment by Elizabeth (April 30, 2007 @ 11:14 am )
I always appreciate your humor and sharing, but since I am pregnant, too, it seems to be hitting much closer to home these days.
At 18 weeks and having been on bedrest since 12, the goal is always the next ultrasound. If I stop to think about a possible 22 more weeks on bedrest while my 3 small children run around the house and my husband tries to be both mom and dad, I can’t decide whether to cry, pull out my hair, or scream. I have to live today because I simply haven’t been given grace for the “what if’s.”
But while I try my hardest to stay in the moment instead of borrowing trouble, there is also tremendous comfort in looking far, far ahead– beyond tomorrow or next month or even September. The question of whether I’ll be stuck here on this couch for 2 (the next scheduled ultrasound) or 22 more weeks becomes irrelevant in light of my intended future. There is indeed a much, much better day coming. And thinking about it makes me want to be found faithful in the meantime (which is always a good thing)!
Thanks for your ever-pertinent admonitions and encouragement. I’m so glad you write for us all to read!
Comment by brietta (April 30, 2007 @ 12:40 pm )
You poor thing….I am so glad you know our Heavenly Father who knows what is best for us. Praying for TONS of patience thru this tho and for your dear husband as he stands by you and takes care of you!
Comment by stephanie (April 30, 2007 @ 3:17 pm )
Praying that things improve soon!
Comment by Rebekah (April 30, 2007 @ 3:41 pm )
SO sorry Amy that you are still going through the dreadful morning sickness. Your husband must be a very patient man. Each pregnancy I had the sickness got worse and worse~~debilitating. With my 7th, my husband declared she was the last one!
Comment by Robin (April 30, 2007 @ 4:55 pm )
Jenny,
The usual recommendation is Unisom and B6. It knocks you out, but it does work. I read that Unisom was a Class B drug, so it is “safer” than taking Phenergan or some of the other more potent antiemetic drugs.
Molly with Two Mills,
Not only have I tried gingerroot tablets and ginger ale, but I drank ginger tea made from fresh gingerroot. Now, that’s hot! It is more palatable when you add a touch of coffee creamer to it.
Theresa,
Thanks for asking. Greg is still working both jobs and they both require travel. However, his schedule is more flexible and we see him a LOT more than we used to. Even though he’s working both jobs, he works less hours now. We’re so glad.
Julie and Lyn,
I just say it how it is and thank them for their caring. I do my best not to read into anything, because I know that most people mean well—even if they don’t always say the right thing.
Shannon,
I get that question a lot, as you must as well. I will post later on it after I think about it more. Remind me if I forget though!
Comment by Amy Scott (April 30, 2007 @ 7:17 pm )
I forgot to say, it sure looks like I’m not the only one struggling! Thanks to those who shared your stories with me and to those of you who are praying.
Comment by Amy Scott (April 30, 2007 @ 7:19 pm )
Well, I realize that this is a ridiculously late comment, as I hope you are actually IN labor right now, but I have only just found your blog.
I love it, BTW.
I just wanted to say that this post was very encouraging to me. This was my last pregnancy - I waited with much focus on 13 weeks…just hang in there until 13 weeks, then it will be fine.
Oh, such a lie.
I stopped the constant vomiting at 26 / 27 weeks and the nausea continued for a while longer.
Anyway, the reason it was encouraging is that I am in the midst of preparations, both physical and spiritual, for us to try for another baby. I am equipping myself with as much spiritual strength as possible…even specific arguments against the doubt that will almost certainly rise up at the first sign of vomiting.
The reminder of what our real hope is - INVALUABLE. Thank you! I’m off to read more.
Comment by bean (November 14, 2007 @ 3:08 am )