I’m moving this comment up here because I don’t want it to get lost in the fray. Another Believer makes a good point—one I agree with but don’t reiterate often enough. His comment is in response to a post I wrote way back, Thinking outside the box. Regular readers will remember the ideas in it because I blather on about it all the time. Here’s the copy verbatim, emphasis mine:

Thanks for the post! You bring up some great tried and true ideas. For most of the world’s population they’d hardly raise an eyebrow. We’ve given up some of the great joys in life in going too far in the direction of individualism. My own family is part Mexican (my mother’s father) and we still hold onto some of the old values, along with our family’s own tradition of military and public service. It is expected that you stay home with the children, at least while they are very young. That you take in and take care of your parents and unwed uncles and aunts when they are old. That you look out for your brothers and sisters and try to live nearby if you can (the old standing joke about you mess with a Mexican, you mess with the whole family has some truth to it!) That faith is central to life and family and time to breathe trumps career any day. I’ve seen the same traditions in Italy, Spain, and the Middle East, and I know it also common in Asia and of course Africa. Combined with a Christian mindset this lifestyle is ideal.

But here’s a point, you needn’t homestead. That is the idyllic version, but really you can live this way in a small town or even in a city if you can find a quiet neighborhood within walking distance of a grocer with small and somewhat run-down houses just waiting for little gardens and front porch socializing!

He’s right that you don’t need 100 acres in the country to live a simple life now. We’ve taken solid steps on our 1/3 acre suburban plot toward building a good life. We live below our means, aren’t rushed, and don’t wish to be the Jones’. We choose our commitments carefully, and that means baseball and church for everyone. While only our oldest sits in the batting order, the rest of us talk with folks in the community, raid the concession stand, or watch the game. I keep the umpire in line and Greg helps in the dugout. We’ve planted plum, fig, orange, grapefruit, pear, and apple trees—all low-chill varieties, and I maintain a vegetable garden when I’m not pregnant and sick. We have a peach tree too, but I think it’s a goner. We can walk to our church.

We sit on our front porch a lot.

Why would we want to move on? We don’t, really, except for one thing. So let me explain the driving factor, as I really believe that a lot of good things can be found right where you are; it’s not found in glossy red barn shot in Hobby Farms magazine. The secret to joy is being content in whatever circumstance you find yourself.

That said, there are a few things that make our community a bad long-range goal for our children. The first is, a ¼ acre lot in a regular neighborhood costs $100,000. That’s without the house. Then when you add in property taxes and hurricane insurance, you are well over the regular price for a house in other parts of the country and you don’t even own a house yet. Building prices are running $125+ a square foot. That’s not living space; that’s your roofline.

Now, this may all change by the time our children grow up, but I don’t suspect the price will go down. Here’s the thing. By staying here, you either force the kids out-of-state, force them into 60+ hour workweeks or dual-incomes, or force them into a lifetime of debt-servicing.

Our situation is a little unique, with Greg recently being able to work from home. The cost of living in our area is 105% of the national average (though that seems low). In contrast, we’ve found several good communities out-of-state at 70%. (Google “cost of living calculator.”) While we can choose to live below our means in order not to go into debt, it makes sense to choose the lower cost if God has not called you elsewhere. When He calls, He always provides, so I would feel fine if we heard Him telling us to stay.

Everyone has their own unique set of factors that cause them to choose where they live: God’s providence, family in the area, jobs, climate due to health reasons, etc. I don’t suspect that everyone will understand or sympathize with my specific reasoning, and that’s OK. It’s unique to us.

Awhile back, someone wrote to me for advice. She said that through a series of circumstances, they owned outright a million dollar house in an affluent town. Her husband, however, was still working like a dog at a blue collar job in town. They couldn’t make ends meet. They were in debt because his salary didn’t cover food and basics for their large family. The answer seemed obvious to me. I told her to cash out of their house, take the proceeds, buy a humble (but large) house in a drastically cheaper area, and retire (or secure another job if that wasn’t feasible). To my knowledge, they didn’t take my advice. It’s radical, but it makes a lot of sense.

Now, every time we’ve planned to go look at property, something has come up. Most recently, my ill health. Perhaps that’s just the way the cookie crumbles or perhaps that’s God’s leading through circumstances; it’s hard to tell just yet. Either way, it’s helpful to talk and think about these things. Perhaps it will give you a creative idea for your own children, even if it doesn’t help you right now. It’s new to me that we don’t all have to grow up, get a job, spouse, and a mortgage, and then work until we’re 65 to service debt instead of our families. My way may not be the way for you, but it’s helpful to continue to think outside of the industrial box, taking small steps right where you are.