Remembering
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Our very good friend, Stacy, died this weekend in a car accident. It seems disingenuous to talk about something else when something so heavy hangs over everything we do for now. Our circle of friends feel the shock of something that wasn’t expected, even though we should all expect death sometime. She was 36 and her children are 15, 7, and 4.
We ate together five days before she died and talked about the usual stuff: how her new business was going, what’s going on with the house they’re building, and normal family life. Her husband, Dave, did his magic tricks. (If you know Dave, pardon my stating the obvious, because Dave always has a magic trick.) Our kids played afterward on the church playground until the mosquitoes got too bad.
While people continue with shopping, playing, and working, the world has stopped for Stacy’s husband and children. It is good to pause and consider your state before God. We (the Scotts) know that Christ’s blood has covered our sin since we have put our faith in Him, yet it behooves us not to waste our lives. Have you put your faith in Christ? He purchased us so that we could live for Him, making the most of our moments.
I’ve come to terms with my over-inflated sense of self-worth this weekend. Just because other people need me doesn’t mean that God won’t call me Home. (I suppose I believed this objectively but not in my heart.) I should’ve noticed that the house still stood (I really thought it wouldn’t) while I laid in bed for a few months recently. God has us each here for a purpose, which might be different than the one we think we are here for. Glorify God with the task He has for you today, knowing that He is the One holding things together.
Stacy was the lady in church who stole your newborn and wouldn’t give him/her back. She loved on your children and hogged them. She was opinionated, feisty, and kind all at the same time. Nobody got in a fight with her, maybe because we’re all sure we’d lose (even me). She bought me the coordinating earrings for a necklace I had even though it wasn’t my birthday, because I thought it was ridiculous to spend that kind of money on that kind of thing. She could whip your tail into shape even though she was barely five feet tall.
Besides quarreling less and loving more, we asked the children what they’d want to do if it was their last day here. My oldest said that he’d want to go to Steak-n-Shake with our whole family.
For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.
Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.
He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?
But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope.
For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
38 Comments »
RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI
Leave a comment
Amy,
Thank you for sharing your heart with us. We will all be praying for this family.
Comment by Rhonda (May 29, 2007 @ 1:07 pm )
My prayers are with Stacy’s family.
Comment by mopsy (May 29, 2007 @ 1:18 pm )
Oh Amy. I am sorry for the loss of your friend and will pray right now for yours and their families as well.
A good friend of mine lost her husband to cancer last year and it made me really think about my mortality. I guess being a saved Christian, I have it in my head that I’ll live to be 80 or 90 like all my relatives have, and then I’ll just peacefully go. It isn’t always the case.
You don’t get a “do over” in this life so make it a good one.
Prayers going up.
Comment by Lindsey (May 29, 2007 @ 2:10 pm )
I’m so sorry Amy. I’ll be praying too.
Comment by Dene (May 29, 2007 @ 2:56 pm )
Five years ago this weekend our church and two small rural communities lost a wonderful 36 year old mother of 2 in a car accident. That the woman who hit her was later convicted of impaired driving and jailed does not ease our loss.
Aside from losing a friend, God really used this incident to impress my heart with the necessity of “letting go” of my children. Her parents had the joy of living just down the road from her and her husband and children. She was here, almost next door, yet they couldn’t take her next breath or give her more days than God had already ordained. My children are leaving the nest and literally spreading around the world in missions and the military. Keeping them here next to me, or pouting when they leave, will not give them any extra days either. They are safe in God’s hands for eternity. I must let them go where He plans for their time here on earth. Easier said than done, but it can be done.
Comment by MamaTod (May 29, 2007 @ 3:01 pm )
P.S. I forgot to add my condolences. “We grieve for ourselves because we have lost her.” (from the book And Ladies of the Club.)
Comment by MamaTod (May 29, 2007 @ 3:02 pm )
So sorry to hear of the loss of your friend. May the God of all comfort meet those close to her in their hour of need.
Isaiah 53:3 & 4 ~ “He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows, smitten of God, and afflicted.”
Blessings of peace and comfort be yours,
Theresa
Comment by Theresa (May 29, 2007 @ 3:24 pm )
Amy, I am so sorry to hear about your friend. Thoughts and many, many prayers for her family.
Comment by Brea (May 29, 2007 @ 3:37 pm )
Amy, I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your friend. My thoughts, prayers and love are with you.
Truly, we must not waste a moment.
Hugs,
Elizabeth in CA.
Comment by Elizabeth (May 29, 2007 @ 3:42 pm )
Amy, I’m so sorry about the loss of your dear friend.
Comment by Rocks In My Dryer (May 29, 2007 @ 3:56 pm )
Oh, I am so sorry. I don’t even know you and your family but I know the pain of loosing a friend, even if you are just sending them on to Jesus. My friend died 2 months ago in a car accident. He was 29. It’s so fast–so final. But he is in heaven with your friend and now together they are praising Jesus face to face. I’m a little jealous
I’ll be praying for you and your family as well as her family. God is good–in all things.
Comment by Elisabeth (May 29, 2007 @ 4:01 pm )
Amy,
I am so sorry. I will pray for her family. And for you.
~Stacy
Comment by Stacy (May 29, 2007 @ 4:35 pm )
I’m sorry that you have lost a friend and the family has lost a wife & mother. It is such a shame that she was not wearing her seat belt.
Comment by Florencee (May 29, 2007 @ 5:09 pm )
Amy,
I am encouraged that you are trusting the Lord through this dark providence. It is not always easy to see the good (Romans 8:28) but it is still God’s promise to us and we can trust Him. I recently lost my sister to Systemic Lupus. She also left behind a 4 yr-old and 18 yr-old. I wish I could share all the “good” God did, through/since my sister’s death but suffice it to say He is faithful that promised. I am most thankful he allowed me to see some of that “good”. Soli deo Gloria!!
BTW, many of the scriptures you posted were ones that also comforted and continue to comfort me as I mourn the loss of her. Praise God that we have hope.
Comment by April (May 29, 2007 @ 6:01 pm )
I’m so sorry Amy.
Praying.
Comment by Janet (May 29, 2007 @ 6:04 pm )
I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ll pray for her husband and children.
Comment by samantha (May 29, 2007 @ 6:41 pm )
Amy,
I am sorry about the loss of your friend. I enjoy your blog and don’t thank you enough for it.
Comment by Jena (May 29, 2007 @ 7:37 pm )
Sorry to hear about your friend.
Comment by Tammy (May 29, 2007 @ 8:31 pm )
I am very sorry for the loss of your friend. Thank you for your post- so well put.
Comment by Lu (May 29, 2007 @ 9:29 pm )
Amy,
I’m sorry to hear of your loss. I lost a very good friend who was 39 when I was in my mid 20’s. You never look at life the same way again when someone so young and close to you is called home what seems to be way too early.
Comment by Sallie @ A Gracious Home (May 29, 2007 @ 9:32 pm )
Very very sad…I’m sorry for your dreadful loss.
Comment by Amy Roller (May 29, 2007 @ 9:38 pm )
My condolences to you and Stacy’s family. What a shock to everybody! Thankful that the Lord sustains us.
Comment by Rose (May 29, 2007 @ 10:46 pm )
I’m so sorry to hear about this loss, Amy. Although I don’t comment often, I really enjoy your blog and the reality check you always give me. Today was no different. As I read your post, tears streamed down my face. This tragic accident reminds me of how mortal I am, and that the Father may call me home at any moment . . . according to His timing, not mine. My heart goes out to this husband and children. I’ll be praying lots for them.
Comment by Anonymous (May 30, 2007 @ 12:19 am )
I’m very sorry for the loss of your friend. All of you will be in my prayers.
Comment by Rachel (May 30, 2007 @ 12:23 am )
Amy this is a very sobering post, thank you for sharing it with us.
Death is indeed a reality of life, heaven is indeed an eternal home for those of us who trust completely in Him and Don’t waste our lives.
May you find much comfort in your assurance that your friend has gone to be with her maker.
Christian Regards,
Comment by Mummymac (May 30, 2007 @ 2:30 am )
Amy, I am a regular reader of your wonderful site and am so sorry to hear of your loss. It really does pull things into perspective when we truly realize how fleeting life is. Know that my prayers, this morning, are with you and her family during this time of sadness and transition.
Comment by Kari (May 30, 2007 @ 7:21 am )
“While people continue with shopping, playing, and working, the world has stopped for Stacy’s husband and children.”
This is so true. Thank you for being mindful of that. We lost our daughter shortly after she was born and I remember standing in the cememtery after her graveside service watching the cars drive by on the highway, thinking, “People are still going to the grocery store and driving down the road. Don’t they know my daughter died?”
All too soon everyone will go back to “normal”. Her husband and children will not feel normal. They will be forced to find a new normal. You can bless them by understanding that. It’s new normal that God purposed for them, but it is hard. I am in prayer for their family as they keep breathing during this time and for your family as you seek to serve them.
Comment by Erin (May 30, 2007 @ 10:00 am )
Oh Amy,
I am so very sorry about your loss. I will be praying for you and Stacy’s family. God’s grace be with you.
Linda
Comment by Linda (May 30, 2007 @ 1:15 pm )
I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. I will keep her family and yours in my prayers.
Comment by Kathy J (May 30, 2007 @ 1:22 pm )
I have often thought of my own mortality when I am in one room, and my husband and five little ones are across the house - where I can hear them but not see them. They’re talking and laughing, and I think, “If I were gone, life would go on.” I then think about how at least my youngest (7 months) wouldn’t even remember my existence! Of course, it always makes me feel sad - for me. I think about all I would miss… But, having my complete faith and trust in Jesus, I would not even have to experience the sadness because I would be with my Lord!
Praise God, your friend knew Jesus. I grieve for her family’s (and friends’) great loss, but I rejoice with you in her homegoing!
Comment by Sheila (May 30, 2007 @ 7:09 pm )
Sorry for your loss.
Comment by Catherine (May 30, 2007 @ 7:43 pm )
Oh wow, Amy. I’m so sorry that you lost a friend….and so sorry that family lost a wife and mom…..their world is indeed standing still right now! I can’t imagine.
Humbling indeed.
Thankful that we have hope in the One who is and was and forever will be! Thankful that there is LIFE after death. Thankful that He is sovereign, and in that we can trust….even the hardest of circumstances.
Comment by shawnda (May 30, 2007 @ 9:29 pm )
So sorry, Amy.
Praying especially for her children…
Comment by Kimberly (May 30, 2007 @ 11:10 pm )
So sorry to hear about this shocking loss. A sudden death leaves those behind in numbness- although for the believer it is an instant entry to glory. I pray that the Lord will comfort all who knew and loved her.
Comment by Susanna (May 31, 2007 @ 3:34 am )
I am very sorry about the loss of your friend, and I appreciate how much truth you share in the midst of tragedy:
Comment by Julie (May 31, 2007 @ 9:38 am )
Amy,
You commented on how life went on around this family - people shop, go to work, etc. Not having the rest of the world stand still in mourning with you makes dealing with death that much harder.
My heart goes out to your friends family.
Comment by Heidi Whitaker (May 31, 2007 @ 10:08 pm )
Thank you for sharing your heart and for sharing a piece of her life with us. I am praying for her family, as well as you, her friend.
Laura
Comment by Laura (June 2, 2007 @ 2:10 am )
So,so sorry to hear this - as mothers this is something we don’t even want to think about. Trusting that you & your family & Stacey’s family will find strength through the prayers of those who care.
‘One by one the chairs stand vacant, that were filled with those we loved. One by one the seats are filling, in our Father’s house above’.
Dot
Comment by dorothy (June 3, 2007 @ 5:27 pm )