Confession
Friday, Jun 1, 2007
For the last several weeks, I’ve stayed up way-too-late (past 11 p.m. is late) trolling the internet reading birth stories. Now, I’m not sure that minivan driving moms who bake cookies can actually be considered “trolling” the internet, but really, I’m not sure what else to call it. Isn’t trolling what weird people in basements do? It’s somewhat obsessive, and it’s time for me to get a life.
A hundred or so birth stories later, I’ve seen it all: the good, the bad, and the ugly. And I didn’t even have to leave my home for the ER, a birth center, or someone’s living room floor to see it. Technology is great.
But I’m birth story-ed out. I mean, it’s the same stuff over and over: she’s not sure she’s in labor, she decides she’s in labor, she knows she’s in labor, and right when she wants to quit the whole thing altogether—a baby is born. (Or in one case I read, two babies were born!) Lather, rinse, repeat.
We still have this obsessive need to tell our stories though. The urge is stronger than my good sense to go to bed. I just want to know that one of those good stories could happen to me. It’s possible. Seeing how I’ve done it five times already, I figure it’s my turn for one of those “lovely, peaceful” births. The kind where I don’t yell that I’m dying.
I’ve decided that since it happens to other people, it could theoretically happen to me. Other people find diamonds on deserted sidewalks, inherit millions, and get picked for Wheel of Fortune. Yes, I can almost taste it.
It’s my turn, do you hear me?!
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You’re gonna be fine, Amy. The little one will come and it will all be better.
Comment by Another Heather (June 1, 2007 @ 4:03 pm )
I know a great place to read birth stories–sure you don’t want the link?
I think you deserve a happy, peaceful birth this time. And next time, I think you deserve a no-morning-sickness pregnancy.
Comment by Margaret (June 1, 2007 @ 4:06 pm )
I hear you! Praying that this one is your easiest birth yet! You deserve it after such a rough start. My third was my easiest so far, and I’m praying that this fifth one (due date tomorrow) will follow in her footsteps.
Blessings!
Comment by Tara (June 1, 2007 @ 4:15 pm )
Until I had a baby, I was convinced that I would never be one of those screaming women. I had read those things about how childbirth is just a natural process, and you should think of it as muscles working, not as pain, and how some people actually experience painless childbirth. Ha,ha. God had a humbling surprise for me! I am hoping that #2, due in January, will be a little less dramatic. Here’s praying that you will really have one of those lovely births this time and can tell us all that it’s actually possible! But as you know from lots of experience and I know from a little–God’s grace is sufficient! Blessings on you and baby.
Comment by Sarah K (June 1, 2007 @ 4:29 pm )
Yeah, I bake cookies and troll the internet. I’m not looking for birth stories since my days are done with that, but we do use this incredible tool to link our lives with others. Some have said the internet is a tool of the devil. I’m not doubting that some use it for evil, but your post reminds me that it can be used to connect and grow and learn and share life.
I hope you get that easy birth! But if it isn’t, at least you’ll be able to write a good birth story.
Comment by Kathy/ Lessons from the Laundry (June 1, 2007 @ 4:54 pm )
And all this time I thought that yelling about dying was required to get the baby out.
Comment by brietta (June 1, 2007 @ 5:03 pm )
Hey!
You’ve got FIVE!
You did *something* right!!
Praying for you, Amy!
Comment by Andrea (June 1, 2007 @ 7:55 pm )
“lovely, peaceful” births
They just don’t exist.
Those ladies are liars, I tell you!!
I agree that even if one has a decent labor (think short) there will come a time when your body wigs out, you scream or groan or do a weird throat scream and then you deliver your baby.
And it’s over. That is what I always cry or scream….it’s over.
Comment by Janet (June 1, 2007 @ 11:15 pm )
Hi Amy I’m not going to tell you my birth stories in detail but I am going to offer an alternative tongue-in-the cheek possibility. I am the kind of person who although I’m reasonably intelligent has a totally non-scientific mind and if anyone talks medical to me my eyes glaze over and my mind goes blank. So when I had my first child was born I was as near to ignorant about the process as it’s possible to be. I knew roughly when the baby was going to emerge from and I knew it would hurt but that was it. My baby was born in 4 hours and I said brightly to the nurse afterwards “Well that wasn’t too bad was it?” My other 2 children were born almost as quickly. So…could I suggest total ignorance as an aid to birth? I admit it may be difficult as you already have 5 children, but you could work on it. Love your blog. Jean
Comment by jean (June 2, 2007 @ 12:46 am )
It’s too late to get into birth stories but I just wanted to let you know that you don’t have to call it “trolling” the internet. You could say you “surf the ‘net.” Better to sound like a valley girl than a predator, right?
Comment by Cathy (June 2, 2007 @ 2:59 am )
I think even in my easiest–which was not like the idyllic births you read about–there were at least 2 moments where I was sure I’d die!
One of the weird, obscure reasons I keep doing this is to have the ‘perfect’ birth. I’m not sure ‘perfect’ exists and I ought to be happy with the fact that during the end of my last 2 births–I managed to cry out to God for His help. Once audibly, once silently, but both times I had nearly instant answers. I know that sounds like an obvious thing I should’ve done with all the births but I hadn’t.
Anyway, I know you can do it!
Comment by Lyn (June 2, 2007 @ 10:07 am )
My fifth baby literally rode the big wave of amniotic fluid out of my body. I barely had time for one push. The nurses didn’t realize (more like didn’t listen) that it was my fifth pregnancy and that I go fast after I reach 6. I had to push and they were trying to get me to wait for the Dr. My water broke and hit the wall and all heads turned and I screamed, “Now can I push?!” He was crowning as I screamed! I have to say going fast is worth the pain.
I think the whole “don’t scream” scene is bogus. I tell you what…when I screamed with my last guy, it made my tummy kick in and push that baby down. Try screaming - see how it affects the lower half of your body. In Haiti they encourage the women to scream and all of the women who are there to witness the birth scream with her. It is like a “whoop” sound. I am all for it!!!
As far as a perfect birth - a healthy baby is what I consider to be a perfect birth. I have had the worst and after that experience, I didn’t care what kind of birth it was as long as my sweet baby was alive and well.
As far a “trolling” goes - my sister-in-law calls it “blurfing” blog surfing! I thought it was cute.
I wish you all of the best and may God bless you with that birth/pregnancy you are looking for. I envy your ability/willingness to keep having more. My quiver is not full, but my husband’s is. ; (
Comment by Jenn (June 2, 2007 @ 11:32 am )
Some funny stories here…thanks!
I’m at 17+ weeks; due November 8.
Comment by Amy Scott (June 2, 2007 @ 1:01 pm )
As different as they were, I loved both of my births and find that around the 7 month mark, I start trolling for birth stories. I refuse to read the “ended up in the ER” or “Emergency C-section” stories and focus on the positive. I KNOW what can happen, and I believe in being prepared for the emergency aspect of birth, but I have confidence that my body is capable and strong and #3 will be a good, strong, safe birth.
I love your blog, I’ve linked you on my Cleveland Crunchy Cons blog.
Comment by Deanna (June 2, 2007 @ 3:01 pm )
LOL! I always do that for a week or two as well and then, like you, get sick of them and go on with my pg!
If you want something really fun to pass your “extra” time with go to http://www.rinkworks.com/dialect/
and then check out your favorite reformed site from there…a riot for the whole family!
Comment by Christi Lachney (June 2, 2007 @ 4:00 pm )
From Wikipedia:
“Trolling for fish” is a form of angling where lines with hook-rigged lures are dragged behind a boat to entice fish to bite. Compare the term “Trawling for fish,” which involves dragging a net behind a boat to catch large numbers of fish.
Internet trolling involves a user making comments intended to provoke an angry response.
Trolling can also mean walking. This is more or less basic slang now (from stroll), but it used to be polari. ”
This makes it impossible for you to have been trolling, in your basement or otherwise.
Unless you were leaving nasty comments to the ones with the good birth stories…
Carri
Comment by Petersonclan (June 2, 2007 @ 6:08 pm )
My first birth experience was a c-section, and my second was was a horrid, 20 hour marathon where, yes, I thought I was dying.
Guess what? Third time, I had an easy, six hour labour. Second births are almost always faster, and an informal survey of my friends suggests that they’re much easier, too.
Comment by Beck (June 3, 2007 @ 7:52 am )
Amy, the real question is this: did the twin birth story you read involve an epidural? I have high esteem for any woman who can birth multiples without one! If you happened to take note of the epidural vs. non-epidural birth stories you read, you weren’t “trolling” at all…you could actually write it off as research for the epidural post we’re all waiting for. =) No pressure, though. None whatsoever.
As an aside, I really hope you’ll post the complete story, come November. We obviously all like talking and hearing about these things!
Comment by Lisa (June 3, 2007 @ 8:55 am )
I love it! I am a doctor, as is my husband. I delivered my first child in one of the labor and delivery patient rooms at the hospital where we were in residency. At one point, when the contractions were REALLY intense, I told my husband, “If I can get that window open, I’m going to jump!”(We were on the third floor of the hospital.) Well, I didn’t jump, but I did waddle like a duck for two weeks after the third-degree episiotomy.
Comment by Valerie (June 3, 2007 @ 6:12 pm )
Uh hem, since we’re sharing….
Have you read my most recent birth story? It is lonnnnnnng! Our sweet baby girl was born in the bathtub! Homebirth was planned but bathtub was not! ha! And it was very peaceful - generally speaking. I hope you get the benefit of water this go-around. I found water to be so soothing!
birth story
not every birth story actually posts pictures of the placenta online!
Comment by Kristi (June 3, 2007 @ 10:00 pm )
I can totally relate, Amy! I am expecting my third blessing, and I am due July 11th. I have two children, and I have made some drastic changes to my birth plans, recently.Taking Bradley classes really empowered me to make some hard choices. I am planning a homebirth, which I am very excited about. I am tired of the incessant electronic fetal monitoring, ivs, and being forced to lay in a bed. (amongst other things) I know it won’t be easy, but just by eliminating a plethora of interventions, I know I will be more enabled to birth as I was meant to. Prayers for you. Blessings!
Comment by Christine (June 4, 2007 @ 7:47 am )
Why not overwhelm the will of our Lord with asking? He may, like He did for the widow, relent of your particular “lot”, and give you that blessed ease of birth.
There’s only one catch - you might have to give up “trolling”.
(you do have a way with word-pictures)
Take care Amy! I’ll be asking too.
Comment by Danielle (June 4, 2007 @ 9:11 am )
It will work itself out. You are working out your fears reading labor stories. Very normal-unless you add to them by reading the really rough ones! You know about”gapers delay” when everyone slows down to watch an accident and can’t help themselves? Why do we do that? Beware
Comment by megan (June 4, 2007 @ 10:45 am )
I vote for a water-birth at home with a midwife you trust . . . and like :-), a top-notch experienced doula, and your favorite cd set on “repeat”.
Comment by Cindy (June 4, 2007 @ 10:56 am )
Amy,
I was smiling as I read your post… I figured you were just inadvertantly calling every.single.mother.who.has.ever.read.your.blog to entertain you with each and every one of their birth stories! *smile* Not so, apparently, based on your comments so far!
I have to say, I’m with Danielle on this one, though. Ask Him. He just might oblige!
~Stacy
Comment by Stacy (June 4, 2007 @ 7:16 pm )
I have been reading your blog for a while and alas decided to comment:
Before the birth of my little girl (baby #3 with a 7 yr. gap) I was feeling a bit anxious about the birth part. I spent hours reading birth stories too. I ended up gathering appropriate scriptures and posted them over my sink in the kitchen. Every time I did dishes (many times during the day!), I would meditate on God’s Word. When it was time to give birth these words kept coming back to me. No, it wasn’t some magic formula to get rid of the pain… but when things started to get intense these scriptures came to my mind and had a calming effect on me. It was a reminder that the Lord WAS with me and didn’t leave me.
Here are the scriptures I used… I hope they will bring you some encouragement too. 1Timothy 2:15 (I had never noticed this before), Philippians 4:13, 2Corinthians 12:10, Psalm 56:3-4a
You are in my thoughts and prayers!
Comment by Domestikate (June 5, 2007 @ 5:22 pm )
Thanks for the sympathy, everyone. And a special thanks to the Peterson clan for setting me straight on my trolling habits.
As several of you pointed out, perhaps I’m not a troll after all.
The twin birth story was a homebirth, so no, no epidural!
I know I should be working on my epidural post (and any other posts that will help with my blog slacking), but I’m offline a lot these days. I seem to have time in fits and starts, and this month just hasn’t been the time for it.
Comment by Amy Scott (June 5, 2007 @ 8:54 pm )
Amy,
I posted my birth story on my blog if you’re not storied out. A bad experience followed by a good second birth. Pain free? not— but tolerable. fairly peaceful, except for the ride to the hospital and the scurrying of the nurses when they realized birth was imminent.
Screaming? Try not to do it! You clench your jaw when you scream, which leads to tension in the rest of the body. try a low moan instead with an open relaxed jaw.
Fear leads to tension, which increases/causes pain. Do what ever it takes to help reduce fear and tension. I suggest getting a good doula. Most hospitals would prefer you get the epidural. The doula is there just for you, and has more experience than any husband.
My two cents to a more experienced woman, for whatever it’s worth.
Another Amy
Comment by Amy (June 5, 2007 @ 10:58 pm )
I have no birth stories to share. We adopted our son as a newborn. His birth mother had an easy delivery (according to her…I’m sure the epidural helped). Snuggle Bug came quickly and placed in my arms at 2 minutes old. No labor pains for me. There were other reasons to stress, obviously.
I’m hoping your birth experience is a peaceful one. When’s your baby due?
Comment by Overwhelmed With Joy! (June 6, 2007 @ 11:10 am )
I HEAR you Amy!! We’ll pray for the best….but you know as well as I do…the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. One can hope…and can look forward to that bundle of joy that you’ll have on the other side of all that yelling, I mean peace and quiet.
Comment by Amy Roller (June 6, 2007 @ 12:07 pm )
I do the complete opposite. I avoid any and all birth stories. Don’t wanna hear ‘em, don’t wanna see ‘em, don’t want visuals.
And guess what?
The babies get born despite all my avoidance!!
Then again, epidurals are a brilliant pain-avoidance tactic–one I’ve used THREE times! ha!
Comment by Elizabeth (June 6, 2007 @ 6:21 pm )
November 8th
Comment by Amy Scott (June 6, 2007 @ 10:13 pm )
Hee hee! I agree with the lady above about ignorance being bliss.
I’m trying to pretend with this next one(#4 for me) that I’ve never given birth before and my baby will def be like 6 lbs(actually I think he already may be 6 lbs and I’m only 7 months, but shhh, don’t tell me).
Woohoo for first time 4th pregnancies!
Comment by Natalie (June 7, 2007 @ 9:39 am )
My baby is due August 5th and he’s my first.
Could you give me a link to some birth stories? I’m wanting to know what to expect. We’re taking classes. I cry every time the baby is born in the videos so I’m sure I will cry when my baby is born.
Comment by My Boaz's Ruth (June 8, 2007 @ 10:01 pm )
I’m sorry. I’ve got to give you this link. Not because I’m all that, but because God is just so good! (Only the first half or so is the actual birth story–and really it is not about the yucky details–just His wonderful care and provision.)
I hope you find time to read it, but no offense taken if you just don’t have the time. You sound a little busy.
http://restoringtheyears.blogspot.com/2006/07/happy-birthday-cuddlebug.html
Comment by Grafted Branch@Restoring the Years (July 5, 2007 @ 10:09 pm )