Comments on: How to disagree with your husband http://humblemusings.com/archives/2007/06/21/how-to-disagree-with-your-husband/ Family life commentary by Amy Scott. Thu, 04 Dec 2008 19:55:59 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6 By: Amy Scott http://humblemusings.com/archives/2007/06/21/how-to-disagree-with-your-husband/#comment-70673 Amy Scott Thu, 02 Aug 2007 21:30:37 +0000 http://humblemusings.com/archives/2007/06/21/how-to-disagree-with-your-husband/#comment-70673 Congratulations, Heather. In regards to your "submission doesn't mean doormat" comment, it is really funny to me that anyone could think I meant it that way (and I know you didn't take it to mean that). People in real life know me to be anything but a doormat; in fact, the truth is that I could learn to take a more subtle approach. I was on the phone with a friend right after I wrote this post and mentioned it, as it pertained to the matter we were discussing. She busted out laughing, "YOU?! wrote on that?!" I hope it doesn't mean that I am a complete hypocrite, just that it's probably not the first thought that comes to mind when you think of me. But for the record, I love my husband dearly and it is a joy to submit to his leadership. Congratulations, Heather.

In regards to your “submission doesn’t mean doormat” comment, it is really funny to me that anyone could think I meant it that way (and I know you didn’t take it to mean that). People in real life know me to be anything but a doormat; in fact, the truth is that I could learn to take a more subtle approach.

I was on the phone with a friend right after I wrote this post and mentioned it, as it pertained to the matter we were discussing. She busted out laughing, “YOU?! wrote on that?!” I hope it doesn’t mean that I am a complete hypocrite, just that it’s probably not the first thought that comes to mind when you think of me.

But for the record, I love my husband dearly and it is a joy to submit to his leadership.

]]> By: sprittibee http://humblemusings.com/archives/2007/06/21/how-to-disagree-with-your-husband/#comment-70668 sprittibee Thu, 02 Aug 2007 20:27:32 +0000 http://humblemusings.com/archives/2007/06/21/how-to-disagree-with-your-husband/#comment-70668 Amy, you sure opened a can of worms here, didn't you? I see what you mean about 'straining for gnats'. I find it interesting that the most successful marriages I know of are of ones where the husband is the "servant" LEADER and the wife is the submissive type. Submissive doesn't mean "doormat". I totally agree with your post and the scriptures on the matter personally. I find that in loosing some battles (due to submission), I am actually winning. I win God's respect. I win my husband's trust. I win my children's future character over to God's ways. I truly believe that there is joy in submission. Jesus submitted his whole life to us. He asks for the same in return. I'm glad I clicked over to see what you were up to lately. :) I am not sure if you know this yet, but I'm EXPECTING! My kids are 10 and 8. My husband says we need to name this baby "Surprise". ;) Love in Him, Heather Amy, you sure opened a can of worms here, didn’t you? I see what you mean about ’straining for gnats’. I find it interesting that the most successful marriages I know of are of ones where the husband is the “servant” LEADER and the wife is the submissive type. Submissive doesn’t mean “doormat”. I totally agree with your post and the scriptures on the matter personally. I find that in loosing some battles (due to submission), I am actually winning. I win God’s respect. I win my husband’s trust. I win my children’s future character over to God’s ways. I truly believe that there is joy in submission. Jesus submitted his whole life to us. He asks for the same in return.

I’m glad I clicked over to see what you were up to lately. :) I am not sure if you know this yet, but I’m EXPECTING! My kids are 10 and 8. My husband says we need to name this baby “Surprise”. ;)

Love in Him, Heather

]]> By: Amy’s Humble Musings » Epidurals and other fun stuff http://humblemusings.com/archives/2007/06/21/how-to-disagree-with-your-husband/#comment-70482 Amy’s Humble Musings » Epidurals and other fun stuff Sat, 28 Jul 2007 19:15:19 +0000 http://humblemusings.com/archives/2007/06/21/how-to-disagree-with-your-husband/#comment-70482 [...] many women’s topics because they mostly deduce to “choking on gnats” and result in women jumping on bandwagons they’d do best to avoid. That’s not to say that we should never talk about these things, just [...] [...] many women’s topics because they mostly deduce to “choking on gnats” and result in women jumping on bandwagons they’d do best to avoid. That’s not to say that we should never talk about these things, just [...]

]]> By: Julie http://humblemusings.com/archives/2007/06/21/how-to-disagree-with-your-husband/#comment-69154 Julie Sat, 30 Jun 2007 01:19:37 +0000 http://humblemusings.com/archives/2007/06/21/how-to-disagree-with-your-husband/#comment-69154 <blockquote>Why not submit directly to God and stand as an equal to your husband?</blockquote> For me, submitting directly to God means submitting to His written word. A plain reading of His written word tells me that I am to submit to my husband. (See Eph. 5:22 & 24, Col. 3:18, Heb. 13:17, 1 Pt. 3:5) To say, "I don't have to submit to my husband." is to say "I don't believe in a literal reading of the New Testament epistles." A statement like that leads me down a path I'd rather not travel. I agree - my husband and I stand before God as equals. When I think literally of standing before God in regard to matters of sin, judgement, and redemption, I find all the more reason to make sure that I personally am obeying God's Word. Does my husband make every decision? No way! He doesn't even want to. There are many, many decisions he delegates completely to me. There are many more that we talk about and decide jointly. And there are other areas in which he makes decisions that I mildly or strongly disagree with. In all these things, I have to keep this in mind: <blockquote>For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart. I Sam. 16:7 God is concerned about <em>my</em> heart. He's asking me, "Is <em>your</em> heart submitted to me? Are you loving, honoring, respecting, helping your husband and looking to <em>me</em> as your source of hope? Or are you fretting and doubting because your husband's "outward appearance" isn't what you want it to be?" A wife who chooses to take God at his Word will <em>not</em> become a simpering, opinion-less mouse of a woman. She will become a radiant, joyful, <em>influential</em> example of faith! <em>But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who have faith and preserve their souls. Heb. 10:39</em>

Why not submit directly to God and stand as an equal to your husband?

For me, submitting directly to God means submitting to His written word. A plain reading of His written word tells me that I am to submit to my husband. (See Eph. 5:22 & 24, Col. 3:18, Heb. 13:17, 1 Pt. 3:5) To say, “I don’t have to submit to my husband.” is to say “I don’t believe in a literal reading of the New Testament epistles.” A statement like that leads me down a path I’d rather not travel.

I agree - my husband and I stand before God as equals. When I think literally of standing before God in regard to matters of sin, judgement, and redemption, I find all the more reason to make sure that I personally am obeying God’s Word.

Does my husband make every decision? No way! He doesn’t even want to. There are many, many decisions he delegates completely to me. There are many more that we talk about and decide jointly. And there are other areas in which he makes decisions that I mildly or strongly disagree with. In all these things, I have to keep this in mind:

For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart. I Sam. 16:7

God is concerned about my heart. He’s asking me, “Is your heart submitted to me? Are you loving, honoring, respecting, helping your husband and looking to me as your source of hope? Or are you fretting and doubting because your husband’s “outward appearance” isn’t what you want it to be?”

A wife who chooses to take God at his Word will not become a simpering, opinion-less mouse of a woman. She will become a radiant, joyful, influential example of faith!

But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who have faith and preserve their souls. Heb. 10:39

]]> By: Another Heather http://humblemusings.com/archives/2007/06/21/how-to-disagree-with-your-husband/#comment-69145 Another Heather Fri, 29 Jun 2007 20:49:23 +0000 http://humblemusings.com/archives/2007/06/21/how-to-disagree-with-your-husband/#comment-69145 My husband and I were discussing this a few months ago and he articulated it like this: Men and women are personally equal before God. We will each stand before Christ as an individual and recieve His judgement as to how we obeyed Him. However, in a marriage we are not postionally equal. The wife is subject to her husband, well, like the church is subject to the will of Christ, or the Holy Spirit is subject to the Father and the Son, or a more concrete example like a VP is subject to the will of the President of a company. This is an example of order not of demeaning women. My heart aches for so many women out there who refuse to accept this truth of God's. He has determined this order to our benefit not to our detriment. My husband and I were discussing this a few months ago and he articulated it like this: Men and women are personally equal before God. We will each stand before Christ as an individual and recieve His judgement as to how we obeyed Him. However, in a marriage we are not postionally equal. The wife is subject to her husband, well, like the church is subject to the will of Christ, or the Holy Spirit is subject to the Father and the Son, or a more concrete example like a VP is subject to the will of the President of a company.

This is an example of order not of demeaning women. My heart aches for so many women out there who refuse to accept this truth of God’s. He has determined this order to our benefit not to our detriment.

]]> By: Greg http://humblemusings.com/archives/2007/06/21/how-to-disagree-with-your-husband/#comment-69096 Greg Fri, 29 Jun 2007 01:45:15 +0000 http://humblemusings.com/archives/2007/06/21/how-to-disagree-with-your-husband/#comment-69096 Rachel - I think you need to define what you mean by "equal". I'll answer your question with a question. Would you say that the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit are equal? Rachel - I think you need to define what you mean by “equal”. I’ll answer your question with a question. Would you say that the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit are equal?

]]> By: Rachel http://humblemusings.com/archives/2007/06/21/how-to-disagree-with-your-husband/#comment-69091 Rachel Fri, 29 Jun 2007 00:45:16 +0000 http://humblemusings.com/archives/2007/06/21/how-to-disagree-with-your-husband/#comment-69091 I'm sorry but in your scenario Renee, your husband is akin to God. Therefore he makes the ultimate decision on all issues with only my guidance? I don't think so. My husband and I make decisions together - sometimes he makes the final decision, and sometimes I do. Here is a good question for everyone here: Why not submit directly to God and stand as an equal to your husband? I'm curious everyone's answer to that. Thanks! I’m sorry but in your scenario Renee, your husband is akin to God. Therefore he makes the ultimate decision on all issues with only my guidance? I don’t think so. My husband and I make decisions together - sometimes he makes the final decision, and sometimes I do. Here is a good question for everyone here: Why not submit directly to God and stand as an equal to your husband? I’m curious everyone’s answer to that. Thanks!

]]> By: Renee Stam http://humblemusings.com/archives/2007/06/21/how-to-disagree-with-your-husband/#comment-69036 Renee Stam Thu, 28 Jun 2007 01:46:53 +0000 http://humblemusings.com/archives/2007/06/21/how-to-disagree-with-your-husband/#comment-69036 Thanks Rachel for your honnesty but I have to say that yes Men and women are in the eyes of God equale, are we made trhe same, no certernaly not. We are diffrent and have diffrent purpose. We are made one for the other. For submission, this word have had such a bad reputation just because some sinners have use their autority in the wrong way. Jesus is our exemple of true submission, He died on the cross out of His submission, anf God the father is the perfect exemple of true autority and Men should look at this exemple to be the head of the house. Being submissive does it mean not talking not having an oppignion, not at all, we as women have the duty to guide our husband (without manipulation) and sumit to their final decision, knowing full well that they are under God and will be judge ever more severly. Can't we expect of them perfection, of course not, they still are sinner but God commended us to sumbit without condition (Aka good or bad in autority) They onlu time we ought not to submit is if we are ask to SIN at that point we have to submit to and higher autority GOD Submission is a wonderful thing, lerning to fully submit to my husband help me to fully understand how I have to complytly submit to God in everything. Having a head to protect me (AKa a husband to which i'm summitting) it a blessing not a burden! If you have any question feel free to contact me at harryandrenee@gmail.com Thanks Rachel for your honnesty but I have to say that yes Men and women are in the eyes of God equale, are we made trhe same, no certernaly not. We are diffrent and have diffrent purpose. We are made one for the other.

For submission, this word have had such a bad reputation just because some sinners have use their autority in the wrong way.

Jesus is our exemple of true submission, He died on the cross out of His submission, anf God the father is the perfect exemple of true autority and Men should look at this exemple to be the head of the house.

Being submissive does it mean not talking not having an oppignion, not at all, we as women have the duty to guide our husband (without manipulation) and sumit to their final decision, knowing full well that they are under God and will be judge ever more severly. Can’t we expect of them perfection, of course not, they still are sinner but God commended us to sumbit without condition (Aka good or bad in autority) They onlu time we ought not to submit is if we are ask to SIN at that point we have to submit to and higher autority GOD

Submission is a wonderful thing, lerning to fully submit to my husband help me to fully understand how I have to complytly submit to God in everything. Having a head to protect me (AKa a husband to which i’m summitting) it a blessing not a burden!

If you have any question feel free to contact me at

harryandrenee@gmail.com

]]> By: Rachel http://humblemusings.com/archives/2007/06/21/how-to-disagree-with-your-husband/#comment-69033 Rachel Thu, 28 Jun 2007 00:57:56 +0000 http://humblemusings.com/archives/2007/06/21/how-to-disagree-with-your-husband/#comment-69033 I'm sorry but I will disagree (probably a first on this site!). Men and women are equal. Acting together in partnership - as equals - is exactly the key to a good marriage. Acting the modest, subservient wife is only key to you living a quietly miserable life. Women have been subjugated for centuries to men and you all - with all of you just agreeing with one another and no one offering a different opinion! - don't help. I am not an ultra feminist, just a realist and a woman who loves her husband. Go ahead and attack me now. I’m sorry but I will disagree (probably a first on this site!). Men and women are equal. Acting together in partnership - as equals - is exactly the key to a good marriage. Acting the modest, subservient wife is only key to you living a quietly miserable life. Women have been subjugated for centuries to men and you all - with all of you just agreeing with one another and no one offering a different opinion! - don’t help. I am not an ultra feminist, just a realist and a woman who loves her husband. Go ahead and attack me now.

]]> By: Amy’s Humble Musings » Submission http://humblemusings.com/archives/2007/06/21/how-to-disagree-with-your-husband/#comment-68846 Amy’s Humble Musings » Submission Mon, 25 Jun 2007 01:25:59 +0000 http://humblemusings.com/archives/2007/06/21/how-to-disagree-with-your-husband/#comment-68846 [...] comments/questions arose from my last entry: 1. Amy: how does the verse “be ye subject one to another” fit into the idea of respectful [...] [...] comments/questions arose from my last entry: 1. Amy: how does the verse “be ye subject one to another” fit into the idea of respectful [...]

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