Epidurals and other fun stuff
Saturday, Jul 28, 2007
My husband returned from a trip this week with a great story. There was a woman who was working on her roof in the middle of the day wearing trousers. She attends a church that prohibits women from wearing such things (Old Order Mennonite is my best guess), but she thought that pants were best suited for the task. Her husband was sick in bed, and it was up to her to mend the roof.
Well, two menfolk from the church go riding by and spy the woman on the roof in her trousers. The men promptly report her to the church leadership for discipline for her immodesty. The wise leadership absolved the woman, and in a beautiful display of wisdom, put the two men under discipline for not helping the poor woman while her husband lay sick.
I love this story because it perfectly illustrates our tendency to strain gnats and miss the greater principle.
I tend to avoid many women’s topics because they mostly deduce to “choking on gnats” and result in women jumping on bandwagons they’d do best to avoid. That’s not to say that we should never talk about these things, just that they always ought to be done in a spirit of humility and awareness for the greater principle.
An unfortunate example I have personal experience with is the breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding discussion. Research and God’s design tell us that breastfeeding is far superior to formula. What they don’t always tell us is why some women do not have enough to nourish their babies. This doesn’t prevent some miscellaneous acquaintance from informing a young, hormonal mother about the superiority of breastmilk all the while the young mother is feeding her child some Enfamil. The poor young mother has already tried fenugreek, blessed thistle, Mother’s Milk tea by the gallon, hospital grade pumping around the clock, prescription Reglan, TSH and prolactin blood draws, SNS systems, and importing domperidone from across the border. Times five.
And so, the woman on the breastfeeding soapbox misses the greater principle of loving her neighbor while she concentrates on the fact that breastmilk really is best. (It is!) The young woman, in wisdom, feeds her child the inferior thing, as she knows that the greater thing is to make sure her baby has nourishment, even if it is painfully not her own. Oftentimes, the one being chastised isn’t unaware of the information, and in this case, she is actually more informed than her informer.
I hardly ever mention it anymore, because it seems that whomever I’m talking to is convinced that I’m just not “doing it right.” The implication is that if I loved my child, I’d get to the bottom of it.
It ought not to be this way. Motherhood is not a competition but a calling. We are too needful of one another to be so short-suffering. Sometimes we concentrate on small things and miss the greater thing; sometimes we think a perfect method is a good substitute for genuine love. In the end, older mothers will tell you that their grown, married sons who are serving the Lord didn’t much care that they were bottle-fed.
Since this entry is supposed to be about epidurals, though, allow me a paragraph or two on the subject. If I haven’t been too obscure, everything I’ve written was with the subject of epidurals in mind. To say that I’ve spent some thought on it would be an understatement. With that in mind, I’ll finally say a few sentences about why I’m not planning one this next time.
The facts on epidurals are that they are usually safe, except when they’re not. Natural childbirth advocates have safety on their side in normal circumstances. Yet, there are many reasons women choose to introduce that risk, and not all of those reasons are selfish or uneducated. For example, an epidural is the better choice when facing maternal exhaustion or something like Cephalopelvic Disproportion (CPD), which is when the baby’s head cannot or doesn’t engage the mother’s pelvis. It is often better to opt for the epidural than to venture the riskier C-section procedure.
I had an “ah-ha” moment when I read this in Dr. Grantly Dick-Read’s Childbirth Without Fear, “…it has been easier to utilize the pain-relieving discoveries of science than to investigate its complicated causes.” His tome is difficult reading, but it is the tool (science-based education) I need to face the next birth. He emphasizes the importance the mind has on birthing. I wish I could review it here, but I’m afraid I couldn’t do it justice.
I’m glad that epidurals are an option, but they essentially become the only option when obstetricians and the greater medical community do not emphasize education, doulas, better birthing options like water, and simple food, juice, and honey for long labors. We’re hoping to avoid many of these pain triggers with our plan for a homebirth this next time. It’s the right choice for us this time, but I don’t assume it is for all low-risk women.
Here.Here. Amen. You go, girl. If I only knew 5 years ago what I know now my childbirth experiences would have been radically different!
Comment by Stephanie (July 28, 2007 @ 4:32 pm )
Your wise words regarding breastfeeding reminded me of the early days of my firstborn’s life. For a variety of reasons, she required a supplement of formula in addition to the breastmilk she took while nursing. This was agonizing to me. Wasn’t a small supplement just a slippery slope toward losing all milk? Didn’t GOOD mothers exclusively breastfeed their children, and go to any length to do so? Into the chaos of my fear and post partum emotions, God gently spoke, “Good mothers feed their children”. I had to remind myself often of this, that He doesn’t qualify whether they are fed breastmilk or formula, and He certainly didn’t attach any righteouness to breastmilk.
blessing to you as your pregnancy comes to a close.
Comment by Jenny (July 28, 2007 @ 4:34 pm )
I am the mom of ten children. With my first, I had an epidural. Natural childbirth had just begun to come to the fore and that was the big push (no pun intended) at the time (1970’s). I was green with inexperience (I was a mere 20 years old) and really didn’t know what I was doing. When I realized (after the fact), that, in my case, the epidural came right before the birth, I decided that I wouldn’t have an epidural the next time around. I had no choice in my third child’s birth since he was born in the car on the way to the hospital. Thank the Lord, it went well despite the setting. And, contrary to the doctor’s suggestion, we didn’t name him “Cordoba” in honor of the car.
This isn’t a recitation of my childbirth experiences (although you wouldn’t know it given my droning), but, rather, to give credence to your post. Frankly, no one probably cares what I think, but that is for another post. However, I am responding to the idea of others having reasons for what they do and our response to them.
My daughter gave birth to our first grandchild in May. I warned my daughter to be careful about thinking ANYONE has a handle on childrearing. There is an amazing phenomenon that I’ve observed in the last several years that is rather disturbing (to me, anyway)–even in Christian circles. There is a rather smugness about how to raise children and all things Christian. One of my daughter’s friends read her the riot act about scheduling and how it worked for her (Ezzo style) because my daughter responded to my grandson’s crying–even though he wasn’t hungry. (Doesn’t God do that for us?) A blog of someone I know touts the benefits of cloth diapers v. plastic. In fact, her posts often deride plastic diapers, and those who comment, wholeheartedly agree. Is using cloth a noble character trait or something? THIS IS HER FIRST CHILD, but her readers seem to think she should write a book about parenting. (I’m exaggerating to make a point.) Further, while I homeschooled many of my older children, I never had issues with those who didn’t. (I do not homeschool my 14 and 11 year old kids and don’t want to homeschool–ever again–I’m tired, folks.) There are those in that circle who are almost militant in their stance about homeschooling. I know people, and I’m not kidding, who are such advocates of homeschooling, that they believe it is sin if you don’t.
Another example of smugness comes within the circle of those who adhere to a particular theology. My husband and I are reformed in our theology, but I bet you any amount of money that there will be Arminians in Heaven. I read lots of blogs from Reformed thinking bloggers who sprinkle their blogs with what I call Godspeak, e.g., “because of God’s providence, we were led to eat at McDonalds and not Taco Bell.” I’m taking license here, but the point is that God’s providence is the backdrop for everything in our lives. One time someone told us that the reason they didn’t call us back within the time frame promised was because of “providence.” WHAT? So, God’s providence was why he didn’t keep his word. Is it possible to talk about two people entering into marriage without calling it a “covenant marriage” or talking about children outside of calling them “covenant children”? Do those platitudes denote godliness? I am cool with their terminology if they’re tolerant with my lack of it.
My intent is not to mock, but, rather to provoke thought. I have to be careful not to judge others who have opinions and ideas that differ from mine. Obviously, if something is mandated in Scripture, then that is an entirely different animal. If it’s not, then I need to make sure my opinions don’t become judgements. I don’t have that concept mastered, and, most likely, I won’t here on earth, but I am growing. If my daughter asks for advice, then I give it. She, however, has the same Holy Spirit that I do and I know that she depends on God for wisdom. That wisdom may come through others, but most people really don’t want unsolicited advice. At least, I don’t.
I know that this is a hodgepodge post, but the summation is this: we are to respond to others based on our love for them. We are to extend grace to everyone–even when our style is different from theirs.
So, how did this know-it-all (me) respond when my husband just interrupted me to ask for a receipt? I got impatient. How’s that for grace and love?? (Does the passage “Not many of you should be teachers, my brothers…” come to mind??) I have the greatest husband in the cosmos and daggone it, he interrupted me. The nerve! I should hasten to add that I got up, found the receipt and apologized. His response? He kissed me in his usual, gracious way. What a guy!
In proofing this, I realize it is a rather disjointed post and the segues are less than stellar. My daughter, though, would like some lunch, so there goes my writing career. If I post again, I will be more cognizant of making smooth transitions.
I will sign this the same way that my husband often signs off in his letters to others.
Be Free in His Grace.
Comment by Cathy (July 28, 2007 @ 4:35 pm )
Amy! What wisdom! What a good reminder to us; “love covers a multitude of sins.”
Chris in Canada
Comment by chris (July 28, 2007 @ 5:10 pm )
Amy - I haven’t commented for ages - things have been busy but I can tell this labour is much on your mind in these days.
Just wanted you to know that I will pray that the Lord will be merciful and give you a labour that you will easily cope with.
He was most gracious to me in this area and when I read of your struggles it helps me to be thankful.
Perhaps this time you will be rejoicing in your experience too.
Comment by mummymac (July 28, 2007 @ 5:50 pm )
Have you read the book, “Supernatural Childbirth”? It’s an awesome book and gives you lots of scriptures relevant to having a natural childbirth. I recommend it highly.
Comment by Kristi (July 28, 2007 @ 5:54 pm )
Hi Amy,
I guess Kristi didn’t read your book review.
Didn’t you have a very peaceful birth of one of your daughters on Christmas?
I attended a home delivery once. It went pretty well. You will want to have good supportive women folk there–who can massage your legs, talk you through the contractions, and, most importantly, wash the floor, do the laundry and make your breakfast when it is over. Men are not usually gifted at these things.
My husband did tell me something that helped me in labor. He said, “Let the pain pass through you.” That was incredibly helpful, to focus on relaxing and letting the pain pass, rather than fighting it. I would mentally bear into the pain and imagine my body opening to allow the baby to pass through. “Like a rose unfurling its petals” one book said. And praying, “Jesus, please help my body open easily,” rather than, “Jesus, help me. It hurts!” also was helpful. I tried to visualize the pain passing down my arms and legs and out through my fingers and toes. This kept my womb as relaxed as possible, and the dialation went well. Deep chest breathing was the only thing I used until I was fully dialated, but it wasn’t the breathing that helped, it was the mindset behind the breathing. “I am ahead of this contraction. I am breathing it out. God is making it open my body up. I am pushing with it. It will be over soon. I want to get as much dialation out of it as I can.” (The thought being that the more you dialate with each contraction, the less contractions you need overall.)
I think knowing the different phases of labor (opening/ dialating vs. expelling/pushing) is also helpful as you try to focus your mind on helping your body do what it needs to do.
I do not find the first phase of labor the least bit frightening, although I would certainly never say it was painless! Practice relaxing and bearing down into contractions when you have Braxton-Hicks contractions, if you get them.
The pushing phase is just scary. I don’t care what you’ve read or what you understand or anything. It is scary to push a baby out. Babies are bigger than anything that ought to pass through an opening in the human body. It is the curse of Eve, and it hurts. But there is grace to get through it. Fervent prayers (put your husband on that one), a good midwife, olive oil, feather breathing and the right changes of position, and that baby will come out, by the grace of God. And if you scream, “God! Help me!” we know you are praying, not swearing.
Comment by ruth (July 28, 2007 @ 6:34 pm )
Great thoughts, Amy. It is so easy to believe our way is the right way without taking into consideration the facts and circumstances that influence another’s choices.
Comment by Jana (sidetrack'd) (July 28, 2007 @ 9:00 pm )
Amy, I have been reading your posts for awhile, but I just wanted to encourage you in having a home birth. I have had two great home births. I know some women who haven’t had as good an experience, but I am very thankful to the Lord for mine. His hand was there the whole time, they were short, bearable pain, and at the perfect time. I am so excited that you will be doing this birth at home and can’t wait to hear the story!
Comment by Rachel (July 28, 2007 @ 9:16 pm )
One thing many women don’t realize is that both epidurals and the routine practice of interrupting mom/baby time in the first hour of life undermine breastfeeding success by interfering with God’s amazing, intricately nuanced design for birth. I know that things aren’t always ideal and that women have many different preferences and circumstances (I’m a birth doula), but this connection is usually totally overlooked. A drug-free birth (including epidurals, which do cross the placenta even if they are not in the bloodstream) and allowing the baby uninterrupted (not even for weighing)time skin to skin on mom’s chest really do provide the best chance for breastfeeding success. Our whole birth practice in the U.S. is not set up to support these things happening. So many women try and just can’t seem to get it, and this is a significant piece of the puzzle.
(And so many other things about our U.S. birth conventions could be said here, of course! We assume that our tubes and wires make us “the best”, and yet, did you know that we’re not even near the top of the pack of those lowest in infant mortality? In the countries that lead the world in maternal infant outcomes, midwifery is the standard of care for most women!)
Anyway, have you heard about the dynamic known as “delivery self attachment”? There is an absolutely fascinating video on the topic. Babies are born with a “stepping” reflex that disappears not long after birth. If an undrugged baby is left, uninterrupted on his belly on mom’s chest, the baby uses this reflex to actually crawl, find his way to the breast, and latch on, largely unassisted, within an hour. Along the way they tend to stop and root on their hands. It is believed that the amniotic fluid *left on the hands* is simlar to something secreted by the breast and helps in the process. In that critical post-partum period, a baby is hard-wired to learn to breastfeed perfectly. It is absolutely breathtaking to see a baby do this, but drugs/epidurals and any separation immediately post-partum interrupt the process.
So much more I could write, but I just thought you might be interested. God is an awesome designer. I am convinced that we’ll be discovering the amazing detail and nuance of His creation until the end, if we’re not too prideful in thinking that we already know it all!
Comment by marian (July 28, 2007 @ 9:44 pm )
Hello Amy.
I agree 100% about the “sides” we tend to take with different subjects. With my first child, at 6 weeks I started taking birth control and with a week, my milk was gone. It never occurred to me to stop taking the stupid thing! So, formula was it for her. With my other three, I have nursed them until they weened themselves (around a year old). While I do believe “breast is best” as you do, it is not always something that is a possibility. And you are correct: what we feed our babies is not a sign of how much we love them ~ or a lack-there-of.
As for epidurals, I have had one for the last 3 births (the first birth being a c-sections). I tried long and hard with my 3rd baby not to have one. But it came down to a “failure to progress” and I was either looking at a repeat c-section or an epidural. I took the latter and he was out in less then an hour later. With my fourth, I labored much longer at home then I had before, which made things much better. I still did opt for an epidural (out of fear that my body wouldn’t relax again and I’d have a repeat of the previous birth). This time around, I want to labor even longer at home and I want to avoid an epidural. Not because I want bragging rights or because it’s the “better” way to go, but because I want to see if I can do it. Maybe that’s childish, but that’s how it is. I had a friend once tell my that “true Christian women don’t need epidurals”. Hogwash! As if the choice of medication or not is an indication to where you stand with God!
BTW, I absolutely hate the phrase “natural childbirth”. From one who has had a c-section, epidurals, and my water broken twice, that phrase implies that anything different is “un”natural and wrong. In the end, it really doesn’t matter how the child was born. It’s the child that matters. (This is not to “make little” our desires for a more fulfilling birth experience. I have them just as much as the next woman. These desires are real and good. Just as long as we don’t beat ourselves up if they are not obtained. And we don’t beat up another when they are.)
Comment by Jennifer D (July 28, 2007 @ 9:46 pm )
I too had trouble breastfeeding my first. Did about all the things you have tried. I had enough for the second baby. I found that almonds are a galactagogue for me and actually made me engorged! I avoided all mint, sage, parsley, and cilantro as they were HUGE milk reducers (I guess my body is super sensitive.) I also ate oatmeal every morning and had lots of snacks containing oats like granola throughout the day. I slept with the baby and nursed through the night and pretty much nursed him everytime he cried for the first three months. I’m sure you know all of this and more. You all are in my prayers!
Comment by Mrs. D (July 28, 2007 @ 9:48 pm )
Amy,
I will, Lord willing, be giving birth to my sixth living child at home in a birth tub this November. My first two births I would characterize as easy and almost painless, the third was long and frustrating and painful but not more than I could handle, and the fourth left me feeling absolutely certain that I could never go through labour and birth again.
It was a homebirth. My water had broken with no labour and after 24 hours we took steps to induce at home. I was actively involved and in control of every decision but there was a certain amount of stress and fear involved in the situation for various reasons. Another 24 hours passed and birth was still not imminent. I then spent 6 hours at 8 cm dilation with absolutely no progress. At this point I asked my midwife to do whatever necessary to get the baby out and keep me home. She manually dilated my cervix and held the “lip” off the baby’s head while I pushed. This took another hour, during which my husband recited Psalms in my ear though my screams. Between contractions, I lay flat on my back thinking “All the rest of our children will be born by planned cesarean section.”
After the baby was born I was very, very happy not to have gone to the hospital and decided that in retrospect the baby really was worth a few hours of torture. I made it though the other side once, and, if necessary, I could do it again. But that labour is still very vivid in my memory and I continue to pray that God will preserve me from ever having to undergo such an experience again.
I had a different midwife for my fifth birth. She did not have much difficulty convincing me to rent a birthing tub (the kind sold and rented out by Waterbirth International) as I was ready to try anything that might help me avoid a repeat of the previous birth. Again my water broke with no labour. This midwife was comfortable waiting “as long as it took” for me to go into labour on my own (taking, as I had the previous time, reasonable precautions to avoid infection and monitoring my and baby’s well-being). Two days later — late on Christmas day — I went into labour on my own. After less than three hours of active labour, my fifth child was born in the water. The difference between this labour in the birth tub and my previous ones — even the “good” ones — was unbelievable. Pushing the baby out still hurt, but it didn’t overwhelm me. I was relaxed and calm enough to guide the baby’s head out with my own hands.
I have never had an epidural, so I can’t compare that form of pain relief to the birth tub. I can say that a full-sized, deep, wide tub designed for labour and birth is vastly superior to a regular-sized bath tub or shower or even a jacuzzi-sized tub, all of which I have used in previous labours and none of which had the same effect as total immersion in the water.
Having a midwife who had total confidence that my baby was going to come out when he was ready and that she didn’t need to do anything about it helped too. There are certainly instances where we really do need to intervene in the birth process for the safety of the baby or mother, but they are much rarer than most of us think.
I share this lengthy story in hope that it will encourage you that it is very possible to have a peaceful, healing birth after a traumatic one, and also that a birth tub can be an incredible gift from God. I hope never to give birth without one again, and would wholeheartedly recommend them to anyone seeking a more comfortable unmedicated birth.
Comment by Sora (July 28, 2007 @ 10:03 pm )
Grace upon grace, as usual, Amy. I am going to refer all of my agonized friends to this post. Thank you.
Comment by April (July 28, 2007 @ 10:24 pm )
Oh, Cathy… I’ll also refer them to your two cents. Lovely.
Comment by April (July 28, 2007 @ 10:28 pm )
Hi Amy,
Just wanted to second your endorsement of Childbirth Without Fear. I read it a long time ago when I was pregnant with my second child, and I found it really, really helpful. I hope the science/philosophy in it helps you in a practical way like it helped me.
Comment by rebecca (July 28, 2007 @ 10:32 pm )
Hi Amy,
I wanted to tell you that I had an epideral the first three times, although the last two were a little late for much benefit. The fourth time I had a “natural” delivery in the hosp. This time tho, the fifth, I had at home. I loved it. I am sure it is not for everyone. However, having read 1000 birth stories on line (I think I should get some kind of certificate) and really thinking it over with my husband, we went for the homebirth. I really really liked it, the delivery was so much more peaceful without machines etc, and less decisions, and the aftermath was SO sweet and so so so much more comfortable for me. I hope you have a similar experience, I don’t know when you are due, but I do look forward to your homebirth story!!!
Comment by Molly (July 28, 2007 @ 11:11 pm )
Amy,
I’m so sorry you have to deal with all that about breastfeeding. I didn’t even know you could do all those things to try to make it happen! And I love your story about the woman fixing her roof.
I want to encourage you about the homebirth and lack of an epidural. I had an epidural with my first, and I think that made things more difficult than they needed to be. So I didn’t have an epidural with my second, and everything went much better (though I know that isn’t true for everyone). The funny part of it was how everyone was so impressed with me for skipping it! It made me realize just how expected it has become.
Anyway, I wish you the best of luck!
Comment by Heidi (July 29, 2007 @ 1:24 am )
Amy,
I’ve been thinking about writing you since you first mentioned your fear of labor a few weeks ago. By the way, I loved that post. It was so bold and True. You said, “Therefore, I understand that I have two options: overcome fear or displease God. I’m choosing the former, though this leaves me with much work to do.” Amen!
What I’ve been thinking about sharing with you is along the lines of Ruth’s comment above (which was very helpful, thanks Ruth!). Before I go any further I should probably mention that I’m due with my 5th any day, so this discussion hits right at home for me right now.
My last birth was my easiest. It was the one where I was the most in control (or perhaps self-controlled would be a better term), both emotionally and therefore physically. I attribute this to 2 things.
1) No stimulants. With my 3rd I was four weeks late and resorted to castor oil. It induced labor all right, but my contractions were intense and all over the board. They felt unnatural and “out of control” to me. I was never able to get ahead of them and felt scared and out of control the entire time.
2) Taking control of your thoughts and breathing from the first “Oh Wow” contraction. If you start early, you can get a rhythmn going and can really focus on relaxing and letting them do the work, like Ruth said. I started each contraction with a long inhale and then as I exhaled I tried to relax my entire body similar to what you would do in a sigh of relief.
My midwives had always told me to “relax” and “not to fight them” and to “let them do the work”, but I never exactly knew how to apply this until birth #4 when I started early and just worked my way through each one at a time breathing in and then breathing out like a sigh of relief.
A friend sent this to me before my 4th birth (I was pretty fearful of labor after that castor oil disaster.). I printed it and had it in my Bible with me during labor. It is beautiful, comforting and just seems to sum it all up. It comes from the Heidelberg Catechism.
Question 1. What is thy only comfort in life and death?
Answer: That I with body and soul, both in life and death, am not my own, but belong unto my faithful Saviour Jesus Christ; who, with his precious blood, has fully satisfied for all my sins, and delivered me from all the power of the devil; and so preserves me that without the will of my heavenly Father, not a hair can fall from my head; yea, that all things must be subservient to my salvation, and therefore, by his Holy Spirit, He also assures me of eternal life, and makes me sincerely willing and ready, henceforth, to live unto him.
Comment by Tina (July 29, 2007 @ 2:25 am )
Some of the biggest mistakes my husband and I have made in 26 yrs. of marriage have been the result of following the advice of “well-meaning” friends. We got married very young and it took us a long time to realize that older doesn’t necessarily equal wiser. Some folks are just busybodies, pure and simple. And it seems like the ones who’ve messed their own lives up the worst are the most likely to hand out free tips. Kind of like a man who has been married three times expecting us to think he’s qualified to run the country.
Comment by Barbara (July 29, 2007 @ 7:17 am )
I have, so far, had 3 lovely homebirths, producing 3 very large babies, and I’m working on #4 right now.
I will be praying for you, that this will be a beautiful experience.
If you think of it, pray for me, I have 3 weeks left!
†
Natalie
Comment by Natalie (July 29, 2007 @ 10:16 am )
Thought provoking post, Amy. These epidural thoughts are fresh in my mind since two weeks ago today I gave birth to our 5th child with a midwife in a birthing center with no epidural. This was a first for us. I had major head games going on throughout the entire pregnancy. God was gracious, and while labor was painful, the women who were with me (along with The Mad Monk) helped me get through. BTW, The Mad Monk wrote a beautiful post about how he saw my labor. Anyway, I pray that God will give you peace and that your homebirth will go well! Blessings!
Comment by Michelle (July 29, 2007 @ 3:36 pm )
All I can say is, that after having 3 children, the things I DID and the things I DIDN’T DO have lead to heartache for which I haven’t shared with anyone, nor have I allowed the tears to flow, for fear of what people on either side of the many fences will say. I need some of that freedom Cathy.
Comment by A.R. (July 29, 2007 @ 4:01 pm )
Amy, when I grow up I want to be just like you.
You certainly have a knack for writing the truth in a gracious way, and I still sometimes wonder if you are really a wise little old lady parading as a young mom (so that more of us will pay attention to what you have to say, of course). I’d like to say that I wish you had been writing when I first became a mom, but God has been so good to us and sent others with their humble musings to point us in the right direction.
I have been guilty more times than I care to remember of being part of the “it-worked-for-me-so-it-will-work-for-everyone” club, and have even done stints with the “my-way-is-the-only-way” bunch. His way is the only way, and we only know His way when we know Him and His Book. I’m thankful that God isn’t done with me yet, and I’m thankful for those who are willing to forgive my pride and put up with me.
You write with such discernment and grace. God bless you for your ministry of encouragement (and for challenging us to aim for a higher standard) through this blog.
Comment by Charmin (July 29, 2007 @ 7:21 pm )
WHAT a great story! Talk about COMPLETELY missing the point—I can just see those offended brethren hurrying off in righteous indignation to tattle on the poor woman!
LOL! Hoo-boy! I got a good belly laugh out of that one!
To Kristi (comment 6): scroll down, my friend, scroll down.
To Cathy (mother of ten): can you please start a blog so I can read more about your life? Seriously. Who cares about disjointed segues, anyway? I wanna hear the stories!!
And lastly, Amy, you do know that after you choose homebirth you’re going to have to buy your own subsistence farm and…ooops, you already want to do that!
No advice from me, just encouragement and laughter!
Comment by Elizabeth (July 29, 2007 @ 8:00 pm )
p.s. in terms of the bigger picture, my kids don’t really care HOW they were born, just that they were. i had epidurals with all three and (GASP OF SHOCK!) all three had no problem breastfeeding. i’m working on my 4th and not worried about it in the least. whatever will be will be. and if i can’t handle it, i do love me an epidural.
Comment by Elizabeth (July 29, 2007 @ 8:04 pm )
oh p.p.s. (just keep thinking of other stuff–sorry!)
i once heard a man postulate that since men didn’t get to escape the curse by not working, women shouldn’t escape the curse by using an epidural.
you can imagine how the roomful of women greeted this comment. let’s just say I wasn’t too gracious about it. i could have used Amy’s tolerance and patience at that point. ha.
Comment by Elizabeth (July 29, 2007 @ 8:08 pm )
Found your blog through a friend of a friend and so on. Really appreciated you saying about breastfeeding - “sometimes we think a perfect method is a good substitute for genuine love”. Since my children were adopted, I never had the opportunity to breastfeed. I got tired of hearing moms talk about how “bad” formula was and not bonding with your child. Some of your posters are still touting the superiority of breastfeeding and the importance of the immediate contact with “mom”. That’s sad. I have a tremendous bond with my children, as does my husband. Like you said, what’s important is for the children to be fed, loved, and raised to love and serve God. My children do.
Comment by Anonymous (July 29, 2007 @ 8:50 pm )
Wow. I’m sorry about the breastfeeding snobbery. I’ve seen some discussing on momys lately about insufficient breast tissue. I’d never thought of that. (I don’t think that is a size thing otherwise I wouldn’t be successful. lol)
I consider it part of my role as a Titus 2 women to inform those younger than me–that no one knows your baby like you. Ask for advice if you need it, but in the end, the decision on what to do is between your husband, you, and God. Period.
Comment by Lyn (July 29, 2007 @ 8:51 pm )
Amy,
I so appreciate this post - such wisdom here on extending grace to others. I lost my milk supply with two of my children, having done everything I knew to do, so I related your example very much.
The Lord bless you, Amy. I’ve been praying for your upcoming birth. I keep meaning to get back and comment on one of your previous posts… one of these days.
Comment by Miriam (July 29, 2007 @ 8:56 pm )
Dear Amy, congratulations on making a very big (I’m sure) decision to deliver at home. I’m glad you shared so that we can pray specifically for you.
Once again you have written with grace and wisdom. So many of us can relate and have been there (good and bad :().
My third baby was unable to latch on well enough to stimulate me and she was losing weight rapidly and I lost my milk. It was a very difficult time but God used it to humble me. He is so good.
My only advice for unmedicated deliveries….BREATHE. Three counts in, three counts out. Nice and slow, rhythmic. It also helped me to concentrate on one spot on the wall. FOCUS.
Big hugs to you Amy!
You can do this
Comment by Janet (July 29, 2007 @ 9:34 pm )
Great post! I love your blog. You are so smart - I’ll bet you have a very high I.Q. Just my two cents - I had epidurals with both of my births and would not have it any other way. But then again, I am weird, because I am a doctor myself. I guess I just don’t see what the big deal is, because I know as a physician that while that list of bad side effects is theoretically possible, I just haven’t seen a lot of them, and I have not seen any side effects that are truly serious. And I do this for a living. When I was in residency I had to deliver a lot of babies as part of my training, and the majority of women requested epidurals. Those that didn’t were usually begging for one by the time they were about to deliver, and then it was too late for one. It’s kind of amazing - an epidural can transform a writhing-in-pain, cursing, screaming woman in labor back into her happy, sweet self! Well, that was enough to convince me that when I had a baby, I wanted an epidural! This was before I knew that people in this day and age actually still gave birth at home (which I think is a cool idea - just not for me!). Just one more plug for modern medical science - in the thousands of years before hospitals became so prevalent and technology became so advanced, yes, most women did give birth without medical intervention just fine. But many also lost their lives in childbirth. So before anyone knocks us docs, just remember that we’re kind of handy to have around when things go wrong. (I’m ducking right now to avoid being pummeled with rotten tomatoes.)
Valerie
Comment by Valerie (July 29, 2007 @ 11:02 pm )
One more thing - I was just telling my husband (who is also a doctor) that I had pulled up a list of epidural side effects on the internet. He said, “Don’t forget the most important side effect - pain relief.”
Valerie
Comment by Valerie (July 29, 2007 @ 11:14 pm )
I am a faithful reader and respect your thoughts and opinions on your blog. But, I have to admit that I just can not get into the idea of having a homebirth. I know it is becoming increasingly more popular here in Canada (even though hospital births are “free”)but I do not see it ever being the right decision for me (for reasons I won’t get into here). All the best as you prepare for the birth and postpartum period!
Comment by Rose (July 29, 2007 @ 11:47 pm )
Amy,
Your poetic description of nursing problems hit the “nail on the head” with me. It sounded like my post partum experience with 4 of my 6 children. Most babies lost weight or didn’t gain sufficiently, I couldn’t pump more than two ounces with a hospital grade pump on for 20 minutes, and babies were screaming through the night. I have been given a supreme gift by God this time and am still nursing my 10 month old daughter. It was a challenge, but we did it! I envy you a home birth. My husband just couldn’t handle it and I can’t even have a birth center birth b/c I am considered high risk as I get Gestational Diabetes and my last birth was an emergency c-section. I would love to have another baby, but have no idea how we would afford another c section should I need one. I just want those docs to leave me alone. (Of course, the emergency c was actually what I believe was midwife error and I should have put off induction–they thought the baby was big, as usual and I had never had a problem before.)
Comment by Nancy P. (July 30, 2007 @ 12:34 am )
I could never breastfeed either…and my best friend was a lactation consultant, and came to help me every day for weeks. I always got glared at in my homeschool group when I would pull a bottle out of the diaper bag. Sigh.
Comment by Gwendolyn (July 30, 2007 @ 8:59 am )
It is so good to be encouraged to be here for each other as moms and not to compare or compete. I was reading a book recentyl called “Small Beginnings” and the author Barbara Curtis said “remember where your children came from; that is, remember though a mother’s body bore them, they were entrusted to you specifically by God. This makes me believe that each of us is the perfect parent for our particular children–because God has perfectly matched us.” I try to remember that when I’m feeling inadequate. thanks for this post; it is a good way to start my week.
Comment by Aimee (July 30, 2007 @ 9:59 am )
Hi Amy! Great post as usual. I appreciate your “humble musings” and find great encouragement each time I read. I can honestly say I’ve never been disappointed, well, except when I stop by and there is no new post! I’ve been reflecting on this topic lately and saddened by the number, in fact, majority of Christian women who find great pride in their mothering achievements and do their best to parade them and sometimes even taunt others who are not up to their standards. I do feel these topics need to be addressed at times, but why is it women grab ahold of these “achievements” (ie breastfeeding, birth at home, natural childbirth, all natural foods) as if those things produce godliness, or at best are a form of godliness. Our only hope should be that those who meet and know us, know we love God. These displays of pride are no better than those who are known for their love of a certain sports team, the coffee purists who denounce those of us who like foofoo coffee, and on the list goes. I guess everyone likes to make a stand for something. I believe it should be for Christ, though, not coffee, sports, or even breastfeeding.
Comment by Ginny (July 30, 2007 @ 10:40 am )
Whew! We do come out of the woodwork when you bring up certain subjects, don’t we? What a neat story about the lady in pants. I’ll have to remember that one.
We will probably always have hospital births (husband’s mandate:), so I will always be faced with the decision to have an epidural. I wish such an option weren’t there, because when I enter transition, I am so insane with pain and fear that I am begging for it. It almost makes things worse, knowing I could maybe have relief. I am overdue with our sixth, and I hope to go au naturale here in a few days, having instructed my husband to ignore my begging during transition. After all, we’re so close to the end at that point, and I only need to be reminded of that fact.
Thank you for your wisdom, Amy.
Comment by Valerie@Consider It Done (July 30, 2007 @ 11:06 am )
Amy,
May God be glorified, and thanks for your eloquent words as usual!
This thought mentality can be applied in our lives on so many levels. It kind of goes along with your thoughts in a previous post about living the simple life being about (above all) contentment.
I am always thankful for our Lord, who centers us and points us to what is most important : Him.
I love that you are choosing a homebirth, though of course, that’s not what it’s all about.
Comment by Andrea (July 30, 2007 @ 12:46 pm )
I think that is all anyone can ask … that a mommy depend on Jesus, doing what she can to research her options … then choose in His wisdom. Good job.
I was totally laughing reading the doctor’s comment. An epidural having the side effect of pain relief. hee hee … So true! I did my first three babies sans relief. I decided to try an epidural with my fourth. I had a teensy moment of beautiful relief (apparently I had what was called a “small space” and was not easy to get an epidural on) and then it didn’t work for me … and the baby came anyway because the epidural had taken so long to get in. But I was glad I tried. And I had one sided relief. And, … I didn’t have any trouble breastfeeding.
Anyway, my husband had said to me, “I get pain relief when I go to the dentist … why shouldn’t you get it when you have a baby?” That made perfect sense to me. So I went for it. I don’t regret how I handled it with any of my babies.
We need to filter situations and decisions through God’s principles rather than our opinions.
brooke
Comment by brooke (July 30, 2007 @ 12:59 pm )
Now, now ladies. We all know that breastfeeding and homebirthing make you a holier person.
Seriously, it is as if *some* women use the breast/bottle and other issues as some sort of divine holiness measuring stick in which to make themselves feel alot better and folks like me alot worse!
Comment by Lindsey (July 30, 2007 @ 1:02 pm )
It amazes me how insecure we women are as a whole. I remember being so afraid to share that my first child slept with us until he was two. Funny thing is that the more I shared with other mothers, the more they opened up to me and would seem so relieved that they were not alone. Their baby slept with them as well!
After my first son, I quit apologizing for my parenting choices. I didn’t follow a strict schedule, I rocked my babies to sleep, I didn’t let them “cry it out,” every now and then they get a swat on the hiney. I homeschool and my kid’s social growth has not been stunted!
Own your choices, ladies. Choose what is best for you and your children and then own your choices. Don’t apologize for them! Be strong and courageous…!
Comment by Jenn (July 30, 2007 @ 1:28 pm )
I went through much of the fear you describe in my last pregnancy. I had epidurals with my first two, and unmedicated with my last two and was pregnant with my fifth. One of the epidural experiences was awful and one of the unmedicated experiences was awful (#4, and it resulted in severe ppd).
I agree that the best thing for the baby is an unmedicated birth. While I, of course, wanted the best thing for my baby, the reality was that I had five other people that deserved the best from me, as well. As I was consumed with researching and praying and dealing with my fear prior to his birth, they weren’t getting the best from me. So, I had to let go of the fear and give it to God, trusting Him to give us wisdom when the time came. I had to recognize that I wasn’t “in control” of my birth experience, anyway.
I had a near perfect birth experience 8 weeks ago. The Lord gave us wisdom to make good choices and they resulted in instant bonding with our son … and NO ppd! Praise God! May the Lord bless you in the choices you make, as well.
Comment by Tara (July 30, 2007 @ 1:28 pm )
This reminds me of when I had Sean by epidural… eventually… after I thought I couldn’t take any more pain and Sean was in distress. I am all for trying to do things the natural way but am so very glad that there is help out there for when things are too tough or when their are complications.
Comment by Ruth (July 30, 2007 @ 1:33 pm )
First, congratulations to all the moms with new babies. I believe I followed all your links and that made for some fun reading.
Back to the nursing thing, I wanted to mention that I did notice a cause of my insufficient supply back in 2004. I’ve always needed a ton of sleep, and with the added demands of pregnancy and nursing, I believe those sleep needs have increased. This makes it difficult, though, as sleep is at a premium with babies, toddlers, and preschoolers around.
Anyway, a few years back, Greg took a week of vacation during Christmas, and I basically slept the entire week. Greg and the kids brought me food in bed and I just stayed there trying to “catch up” on energy. Well, by the end of the week, my nursing-only-for-comfort baby had dropped all her bottles. No supplements!
When Greg went to work Monday morning, though, my supply dropped and we were back at an insufficient supply. Plenty of women nurse while they’re tired, so I’m not sure why it’s peculiar with me. There is absolutely no chance of me laying in bed all day, but that’d be nice. I’m just throwing this out there.
Ginny, Excellent point about being known by Christ and not our pet topics!
Valerie, I’ve had four epidurals with only one going well, though I agree this is unusual. Usually things go well. I’m not sure why I got three bad ones.
One memorable epidural caused my labor to stall, a low-grade fever, a severe drop in my blood pressure, and persistent heart decelerations in the baby. In return, I received pitocin, antibiotics, and blood pressure meds. I vomited and semi-passed out several times due to the drops in blood pressure. If anyone was paying enough attention, I would’ve had a c-section because of fetal distress. As it was, it was a busy night on the labor and delivery floor, and the baby eventually rebounded.
After the baby was born, we got it working well. Which was good, as the OB did a manual evacuation of the uterus. I am very glad it was working for that! (I cringe just thinking about it again. Holy smokerollies.)
Elizabeth, That was funny. A good one!
So true, so true.
Sora, We are going with a very deep tub as well. It will be, Lord willing, my first water labor/birth.
Marian, I haven’t heard of “delivery self attachment,” but I’ve read about the concept several times. I suppose I didn’t realize that’s what it was called.
I wouldn’t describe any of my labors as “peaceful.” That particular epidural numbed my left leg (and nothing else) for a long while. Apparently, the anesthesiologist’s back-up’s back-up was on-call since it was Christmas Eve (11 p.m.). He stuck me almost a dozen times (Greg vouches for it) and took a solid 45 minutes to get it in (while I was in or nearing transition). I walked into the hospital at a solid 5 cm and a regular pattern. Somehow, I still ended up with pitocin. I’m not accusing the doctor of being in a huge rush, but he did have a bike to put together still, and I didn’t deliver until 3:30 a.m. Christmas morning.
And lastly, just as an aside, I do not believe I’d be planning a homebirth without a midwife who carries pitocin, methergine, and oxygen. Hemorrhage is always a risk, but especially with grand multiparity.
Comment by Amy Scott (July 30, 2007 @ 2:52 pm )
I knew this topic would produce a storm of comments!
Amy,if I may, I just wanted to clarify about my mentioning of self-attachment and the way epidurals can affect the natural learning time that is in place: My intention was NOT to say to anyone, “so, you see, epidurals are wrong and not according to God’s design, and your lack of breastfeeding ’success’ may have to do with your choice!” Not at all! You can’t see my heart, but, believe me, I have so much grace and understanding for all of our choices, and have many times wholeheartedly supported moms as they birth with epidurals.
The thing is that we have become so ignorant and removed from God and his design in the birth process by moving away from him in our fear and idolizing medical science (medical science is a very GOOD, useful God-given thing when it’s in it’s place) that it’s become very hard to walk with God in truth through the birth process, in spirit or practice, even if we want to. We’re walking through murky waters. So many try to boil the choice down to, ” do you want childbirth with pain or without?”for example. This is not the whole picture, and, in my initial comment, I was just trying to provide a little glimpse into what we’re running roughshod over with such simplification. And those who try to make such issues holiness tests are just as wrong, as so many have pointed out. “Do you love God and love your neighbor as yourself?”should keep us very busy, with no time left to add to God’s evaluations of holy living!
Comment by marian (July 30, 2007 @ 3:45 pm )
Hi Amy-
I just had my 6th baby three days ago. He was my 5th VBAC baby, and my fourth homebirth. He was also 11 lbs. 8 oz! Although I’m a tall woman, he was still a lot of work to birth and it took every bit of energy I had, by the grace of God. I was thinking this morning how if I’d been in a hospital, and/or had an epidural, I probably wouldn’t have been able to birth him. By the time he was born, I’d been in 5 different birthing positions, none of which I would’ve been able to achieve with an epidural in place. His shoulders did get stuck too, so the expertise of my two midwives and their assistants, as well as my position of being on the floor at that point really helped to shift his position to get his shoulders out. It was quite a birth! I’d just like to encourage you- you can do it!
Comment by Nancy (July 30, 2007 @ 4:12 pm )
I had a similar experience in regards to breastfeeding. After 6 weeks of a very painful mastitis infection, I was hospitalized for 6 days and made the very painful decision to stop breastfeeding. I had given birth naturally and it was not easy. However, the pain from the mastitis was more painful than childbirth. I was so determined to continue breastfeeding because I felt this was best for my baby until my husband and some friends pointed out to me that what was best for my baby was to have a healthy mother. I am 7 1/2 months pregnant with our second baby and I am once again preparing myself for childbirth as best as I can. I know it will be painful but I can endure it. However, I am more afraid of and yet determined to breastfeed.
The Lord has taught me a few things from my previous experience. First of all, I will “give up” sooner if need be with confidence that my baby will be just fine with formula. I will also do my best to not allow the fear of man (or in this case, other women) to have such a hold on me. I must do what I think is best for my baby and what will please the Lord more. This brings me to the third lesson. We are all individually responsible for our own children before the Lord so we must be wise and discerning with how we give out our advice and opinions to others. In the “The Fruit of Her Hands”, Nancy Wilson devotes a whole chapter on this topic. She points out that principles are more important than methods. We should never judge other women merely for their methods. And, likewise, we should not feel pressure to conform and feel guilty over our own methods when in the presence of someone who differs from us. I believe this can apply to so many topics, including method of childbirth, breastfeeding, education and discipline.
Comment by Heather (July 30, 2007 @ 4:19 pm )
Can I get an amen! You really nailed it on the head Amy. It really isn’t about who’s methods are right and who’s are wrong. If we are following Christ, His word, and being led by the spirit, who works actively in our lives, then we are on the right track. But that doesn’t mean that parenting isn’t without it’s trials and errors. No child is like the other and you have to be flexible. I really appreciate the part on breast vs bottle. We all know that breast is best. But some of us….me…are truly unable to nurse for a long time. After the second I realized I had a problem. I am not sure why. But I do know that after exhausting myself over every trick in the book, it really came down to the fact that it became sin in my life. I was more obsessed with how much the baby was eating, when, and what I was doing that I wasn’t even concerned with anything else. Every thing and one suffered as I became solely focused on nursing. So I gave it up and trusted that God in his absolute sovereignty would know that I tried my best. Not that I still wouldn’t have that constant fear of what someone would be thinking as they saw me feed my baby a bottle. It has been two years now since I was breastfeeding, but I am pregnant again which means the process will start all over. So thank you for reminding us of the greater picture.
Comment by carrie (July 30, 2007 @ 6:01 pm )
Hi Amy:
Have been lurking for a while, but felt compelled to add my comment to the many smart ladies here offering words of encouragement. My ‘tip’ (such as it is, having birthed twice without medication) is one our childbirth educator told me and I have remembered it at a key moment during each of my births — when you feel like you just can’t do it anymore, it’s your body’s way of telling you you’re probably in transition. More ‘mind over matter’ info — but apparently there’s something about the hormones your body releases while in transition that give you this feeling. Both times I thought to myself, ‘uh, I don’t know if I can do this’ they checked me and I was 1 cm away from being ready to push.
I wish you so much support, encouragement and blessing as you ready yourself for the birth of your child. All the visualizations that other ladies recommended were similar to what I worked with during our births. And I wouldn’t trade them for anything — not the most comfortable experience, but so powerful!!
Comment by sharyn (July 30, 2007 @ 7:07 pm )
Hi, I just came over from Holly’s. You’ve got plenty of supportive comments here but I’ll add mine anyway. I had my second child four months ago at home. It was amazing. I had a midwife, doula, my husband and my mother. My team made all the difference. In a hospital I’d have probably wound up with a c-section as this birth was a VBAC! BTW, the birthing pool was fantastic for pain relief but I couldn’t stay in it because it actually slowed my contractions. The shower was the next best thing.
Comment by sara (July 30, 2007 @ 7:44 pm )
btw, if you want to read my birth story it is here
http://towardthemark.wordpress.com/tag/birth/
Comment by sara (July 30, 2007 @ 8:38 pm )
Hi Amy,
I don’t want to be a windbag on your blog, but I wanted to add a couple of other thoughts. Please feel free to delete them. I began reading your blog a couple of months ago and have enjoyed it immensely.
When my daughter, also named Amy, was in labor, I was in touch with her by phone throughout the labor. When I called at 2 AM, my son-in-law said that they had decided to go with an epidural. My daughter got on the phone and asked me if I was disappointed in her. I was appalled. Had I telegraphed to my darling daughter that a less than “natural” (sorry, Jennifer, I mean no offense by using that word) birth was unacceptable? Additionally, my daughter and son-in-law seek God’s guidance in their lives on a continuum and who was I to advise them differently? God—alone—is in charge of their lives and He isn’t wringing His hands wondering about the outcome of my daughter’s decision to have an epidural.
I strongly concur with what many of the posters have written: God is sovereign. No matter how much I chafe at that notion, He is in control. (I often tell my husband that I feel like Jacob in a wrestling match with God throughout the night. In the morning, I wake up with a limp, but come to think of it, though, it’s probably from old age.) Who am I to argue with a daughter or a fellow believer about some innocuous decision they make over which they’ve earnestly prayed?
I remember one time asking a godly Bible study teacher of mine when she was going to stop nursing her twins (they were around two). For some reason, I thought that was my business (it was many years ago and I haven’t repeated that scenario). She graciously and humbled answered that she wasn’t sure, but wondered if I had any input to help her. I was smitten. She had no idea I was being catty, but God did and I was completely chagrined and rebuked. Thank the Lord, He did is graciously.
In closing, I want to reiterate how much I enjoy your blog, Amy. I love to read blogs—even if I don’t know the person—and yours is so well-written. I have already prayed for several of the women who’ve posted and will continue as God brings you to mind.
A. R., we ALL have things about which we fear and worry. I will pray that God will help you look to Him because, as my old pastor used to teach, you were worth a Son to God. That is an awesome truth and one that was life-changing for me. I always thought of God as a battering ram of truth, but, praise be to God, He is a loving father who cares about each of His children. How marvelous! That doesn’t mean that I don’t struggle with my relationship with Him at times (“prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, prone to leave the God I love”), but He is ever-faithful—even when I’m not.
Elizabeth, if I ever write a blog, I’ll put you on my list.
Good night, everyone. (I feel like a version of Tiny Tim saying that.)
Cathy
Comment by Cathy (July 30, 2007 @ 9:40 pm )
can i just say how ROCKIN’ it is to see Christian women SUPPORTING each other instead of criticizing? love it. totally, totally love it.
cathy—keep me posted.
Comment by Elizabeth (July 30, 2007 @ 10:46 pm )
AMEN! This is SUCH a good post! OH I could gush for a very loooong time, as I’ve been there and done that and was UGLY before being knocked down several notches… Now I just don’t know where I fit in anymore~you know, too liberal for the conservatives, and too conservative for the liberals….
We have homebirthed our four children, but with the last one my appendix ruptured at 28 weeks. The docs said it looked like it had been leaking for three days! I tell you the truth, I KNEW I wanted to be in the hospital and have an epidural after having been in pain for sooo long. Then one day, before that glorious day of birthing, the pain stopped. and I homebirthed yet again… If my midwife ever retires and I hafta hospital birth, I really feel like I might cave…. (((((HUGS))))) sandi
Comment by (((((HUGS))))) sandi (July 30, 2007 @ 10:55 pm )
I have a birth story too~ http://titus2woman.wordpress.com/2006/04/22/hazel-elizabeths-birth-story/ . JUST in case you’re interested~but be warned! I DEFINITELY share TMI always, always, always…. (((((HUGS))))) sandi
Comment by (((((HUGS))))) sandi (July 30, 2007 @ 11:06 pm )
Okay, PLEASE forgive me! but as we talk about birthing fears, you REALLY need to read this! http://titus2woman.wordpress.com/2006/04/18/a-beautiful-thought-for-those-of-us-fearing-the-hard-work-and-pain-of-labor%e2%80%a6/ (((((HUGS))))) sandi~going to leave ya alone for real now and go to bed! LOL!
Comment by (((((HUGS))))) sandi (July 30, 2007 @ 11:09 pm )
Whoever it was above that said “own your choices” (there are so many comments on this topic, I’m bleary-eyed), I really like that. If you had described my present-day self and my myriad choices on the journey of parenthood to me six years ago I would have been shocked at many things and potentially pleasantly surprised at others. I wouldn’t be able to nurse my first child? Impossible! (No, very very possible, unfortunately). I’m going to have an epidural with my fourth? (When you’re 17 days overdue and facing an induction and your last induction was a painful nightmare, you’d be surprised what you’d agree to!). Oh, cool, you mean I’m really going to give cloth diapering a try with number 3? And Amy, I hate to tell you this, but most of the time I actually grind my own wheat and bake my own bread.
Edith Schaeffer said “if you expect perfection or nothing you will always end up with nothing”…I’ve been learning this slowly as I raise my children. I have ideals, plans, good intentions, godly ambitions. But I also have limitations. If I allow myself to get down about all the things I can’t do or never will be able to do, I may miss opportunities to do what I can do. I may miss God’s voice saying “try this instead,” or “this is what I have for you and your family.”
I realized a few years ago that I was becoming something very distasteful to me. I had created a law unto myself about many things…a law about breastfeeding, birthing, diapering, schooling, eating, sleeping, and the list goes on and on. I was starting to “offer advice” when it wasn’t asked for. My opinions were coming forth as mandates instead of insight. I had set grace and gentleness aside and I was starting to hurt those around me, most of whom were sisters in Christ trying as desperately as I was to make godly choices for their families.
Today, I will still speak openly about my thoughts and convictions, but I hope that I have started to season my comments with grace and drop the judgemental attitude. I must love others while never compromising Truth. And that will take a lifetime to master.
Blessings to your family, Amy
Comment by Stephanie (July 30, 2007 @ 11:21 pm )
Amy,
I love your blog. You hit the nail on the head every time!! Just to add my two cents (not that it is worth much). I think we (ok me)often worship the idols of our hearts and not God. We worship our ideals of perfection instead of desiring what God has designed for us. I say this because I have had two c-sections and would like to have a vbac next time. I have spent hours upon hours (shamefully) researching the how-to’s of vbac’s. I have become obsessed with it! I read about these women who have many children and even home birth’s (hubby would never let me but oh…I would love to!) and I am consumed with envy and bitterness of “why can’t I?”. How foolish of me. I would have been one of those women who died in childbirth a hundred plus years ago. I could not do it. My son was in distress. He had to come out and NOW! I was so upset. I felt like I failed. But you what? God was (and is) in control not me. I worship Him and must accept (with joy I might add) what He allows to happen in my life for my sanctification. I am coming to “terms” with another c-section (sadly I am doing all of this and I am not even pregnant yet!). I praise God for the two blessings I have and will take more if He chooses to give them to me and however He chooses!! Oh, and on a side note…both my babies nursed for a year. Everyone teases that I am a dairy cow with all the milk I produce. Never had a problem with latching either. I soon as I have enough feeling back to hold my babies they are nursing. So I guess God gave me grace in that since I couldn’t do a natural birth! Haha!! God Bless you Amy for bringing Christian women together to discuss these things. May it all be for His glory.
Comment by Mrs. Schell (July 31, 2007 @ 1:44 am )
I wanted to tell you about something I learned about nursing, and hesitate to do so because I understand what you mean by trying it all! But hopefully this will be of some benefit to you. When my daughter was 5 months old, my milk supply drastically decreased and she started eating solids then by the jarful! When a wise friend heard that I just started going to the gym, she cautioned me about starting that while nursing. So I stopped. I also had an “aha” moment when I read more about a nursing mother’s diet on Weston A. Price’s website. I was already drinking fresh goat’s milk by the quart fulls, but I learned just how much a pregnant and nursing mother needs- much more than I realized. Reading this article was eye opening and different from the standard LLL advise. http://www.westonaprice.org/children/breastfeed.html
I have this posted on my fridge as an ideal:
http://www.westonaprice.org/children/dietformothers.html
I also decided to wean my daughter just before she was a year old, taking into account where my health is, our desire for more children, and what is best for my daughter (she drinks goat milk now).
Hope this helps.
Christy
Comment by Christy (July 31, 2007 @ 12:08 pm )
I am sooo sad to share that the entry I linked to about fear of pain in childbirth is not complete. WAH! It must’ve happened when I copied and pasted it over from HSB. I am sooo sad~it was really beautiful and inspired the “This is how we women fight!” from Hazel’s birth story.
BTW~I LOVE YOUR BLOG! Now I see why you are on EVERYBODY’S blogroll~you’re on mine now, too! ~smile~ (((((HUGS))))) sandi
Comment by (((((HUGS))))) sandi (July 31, 2007 @ 2:24 pm )
Wow! Over 60 comments already and I don’t have time to read them all, so I don’t know if anybody has time to read my 2 cents, but here goes:
Yes education is key. You do the best you can and that’s all you can do. Unfortunately there are some folks who don’t even bother to learn what best is and just go for easiest, or do what they’re told by an ‘authority’. If you know the best and you’ve tried, then you do as much as you can, and no condemnation.
With my first baby, I was surprised that the OBs never discussed the birth or even childbirth classes with me unless I asked about it. I get the feeling that many women (and there are many at this practice) go into it quite clueless and are completely unprepared for birth. It takes work– mental and physical– to get through a natural birth. Especially in a hospital setting that is not conducive to natural birth. For most, if you fight the contractions it is extremely painful and only the strongest wills can go through it without the epidural. I thought I was prepared, I wasn’t, I couldn’t take it and went for the epidural.Pretty much the only guff I got was from myself–the worst critic ever.
With my second— I prepared—- And it was harder mentally than anything I’ve ever done before! To go limp even though I wanted to crawl into a ball and squeeze my hubby’s hand until it fell off. To not even hold his hand because gripping it made me tense up. To put my whole weight on him and trust that we wouldn’t both fall down while standing/walking during contractions.To breathe slow and deep and think that each contraction brought my baby closer. Totally worth it!
I also think the epidural just postpones a lot of pain until recovery. And about nursing: I read so many times that if it hurt, you must not be going it right, and I guess I didn’t do it right for 10 weeks before doing it ‘right’. That statement made me feel so bad, and yet it’s in all the nursing literature. Gotta wonder how many women quit because they are told they’re ‘not doing it right’. There’s a lot of education that needs to be learned by parents and health professionals when it comes to breastfeeding. How many of us are told ‘Breast is Best’ and then are given the free formula?! There are so many women who are illadvised when it comes to nursing, that it is hard to believe a woman when she says she can’t— and there are some who can’t.
Wishing you the best in your birth.
Amy from Sonshinecottage
Comment by Amy (July 31, 2007 @ 2:54 pm )
Amy, you have such interesting thoughts.
I’d like to add something, though. I see often that many women are offended where no offense is necessary or intended. The name “natural childbirth” means just that, not “better womanhood”. “Breast is best” is just a fact. Why aren’t we OK with feeling sad that we can’t give/do the best? Is it bad to have a little sadness and then move on? Do we have to cover the sad part up by saying “There’s no difference! My way might even be better!” and fuel the arguments?
If I’d ended up with a c-section, I would certainly have been very glad for a healthy baby, but I would also have grieved for the loss of a natural birth and the trauma to my body. If I couldn’t nurse (and I was told for three long months that I couldn’t, while I did!), then I would feed my baby formula and be sad that it couldn’t be breastmilk. At the moment I am disappointed that we don’t have the money for “real” cloth diapers, which necessitates me using disposables some of the time. And alas, I am far too busy and lazy to try elimination communication, and while I totally agree that EC is better than sitting in a wet diaper, and I’m disappointed that I’ll probably never really do that, I don’t see how not doing it should make me feel like less of a woman or angry at those who advocate it. Why does everything need to be happy, happy, happy, everything-is-the-same? I’m not advocating being in the doldrums all day every day, but what’s wrong with acknowleding that God’s design is the best?
I do think avoiding epidural is the best in most situations. I believe that Americans have been sold a lie about childbirth and the medicalization thereof. However, I do not think women who have epidurals are evil, or terrible mothers, or anything like that. Had I not had the support system around me that I do, I might very well have ended up one of those women with a planned c-section for “gigantic, impossible to birth” baby.
Comment by Margaret (July 31, 2007 @ 8:20 pm )
Amy, I love the story about the woman in pants. And I agree with Doctor Valerie - you must have a High I.Q.
At least you have been blessed with a great capacity for communication.
Anyway, I concur with Cathy’s remarks, and agree with Elizabeth that Cathy ought to write a blog and send it our way.
One more thing: I was a rabid breast-feeder, but slowly learned to be gracious in my comments towards those who weren’t able to do so. With age comes a bit of grace and wisdom, thank the Lord. I always come back to the fact that my mother didn’t breastfeed me, and I loved her in spite of it, and turned out okay (if I do say so myself)!
My daughter is expecting twins any day now, and each of them is about 7 lbs. She had a terrible epidural experience with her first, and a great “natural” birth with the second. You would not believe the pressure from all medical personnel that she is receiving. They think she must be a wee bit crazy to want to attempt labour and delivery with NO DRUGS. Even after she explained that the epidural didn’t work, and that she had a spinal headache and was sick to her stomach for a week, they basically said, “there, there, deary, trust us. You NEED an epidural this time.” They want to induce, and have her labour in the operating room “just in case”.
Rachel is sick of being pregnant, sick of having sore back and hips, sick of not sleeping, and anxious to meet the babies. However, she also wants to have a bit of say in how she delivers and whether or not she gets to move around or lay flat on her back for the doctor’s convenience.
Thankfully, she has a couple of advocates in her mom and her husband. We’ll be listening to HER and communicating her desires to the doctors and nurses. And, of course, we’ll be praying.
I’ll let you know how it goes.
Blessings,
Janet
Comment by Janet (July 31, 2007 @ 8:47 pm )
Well said Margaret.
In fact all the comments are so refreshing but Margaret you’ve touched on something that no else has yet.
Comment by Mel (July 31, 2007 @ 9:03 pm )
I totally agree Margaret!
Comment by Rhonda (July 31, 2007 @ 9:23 pm )
Why are we so hard on ourselves and other women? Why do we feel such a need to compare? We’ve really got to work on finding our identity in Christ and pleasing Him, not each other. I say this to myself as well.
We waited seven years to start having kids. I used birth control. I know, I must not be in God’s perfect will to have been on the pill.
I am 36 weeks pregnant with #2. I know, I must not be in God’s perfect will to have such a small family.
How many times was I asked about our not having kids? Too many to count. As an elementary teacher, it’s not like I didn’t like kids. We both did–and do! Total strangers and parents of my students loved to make comments, usually rude. I’d just smile and try to hold me tongue.
Now that we are expanding our family, I’m criticized for: having them too close together, for staying home and not working with just one, for having a homebirth again, for considering having more, somedays–for breathing!
Yes, I nursed #1 exclusively for the first year and no, it’s not because I have a big chest. (Thank you stranger at the store I worked at for your opinion on that one!)
Yes, people homebirth=no drugs. Nada. It would have been hard to swing an epidural in my bedroom, don’t you think?
Yes, labor was long and it hurt. Yes, my kiddo has a VERY large head. Yes, I tore. Yes, I let it heal naturally. Yes, everything went great. I was blessed.
As I stand (waddle) at the edge of another labor, I am praying that everything will go as smoothly, though I hope faster, this time. But I can’t guarantee it. No one can. I am praying for the best, but also have a backup plan for the worst.
My birth story and nursing do not define me as a woman or a mother. Some would say that I’ve done everything right. Others think I’m crazy. That’s ok. So long as I am not in sin against God, what does it matter? My husband supports my decisions in all of this and we are in agreement. Therefore, why should it matter to anyone else? (This includes family.)
This birth maybe completely different. Something could happen that would require a transport to the hospital and even a c-section. While I am hoping it doesn’t, I’m not going to risk either of our lives to have a particular birth experience.
At the end of the day, at the end of the labor, at the end of the birth—the story will have just begun. Let’s live it to the fullest and encourage and love each other as sisters in Christ: co-laborers, not competitors.
Comment by Kimberly (July 31, 2007 @ 11:03 pm )
Dear Margaret: I don’t think women are upset at the “message” others are advocating as much as the attitude, usually condescending, that they bring with it. I do think that most women would indeed love to communicate sadness, but in our attempts to do so, we are cut off at the knees to be told “We must not be willing, God must not be blessing, or We must be doing something wrong.” We don’t expect Pollyannish attitudes, but a little grace and love goes a long way in sisterly relationships. For the most part, I believe mothers try very hard to do their best. I say that knowing we are all sinners and should strive to improve in all areas of life, but our striving should be to glorify God, not ourselves.
Comment by Ginny (August 1, 2007 @ 11:33 am )
From Cathy, for the third time, the mother of ten, who doesn’t know everything, but acts like she does! I guess this post and the ensuing ones, hit a nerve…
Kimberly expressed what I was thinking moments ago. I was mulling over the post that Margaret wrote yesterday while lying in bed (”Summertime, and the Living’ is Easy”) and I came to the same conclusion that Kimberly espoused. God is interested in our heart and our character (not our comfort). He instructs us to walk by faith, yet He is sovereign over our choices. I don’t know how that all works, but, by faith, I trust Him. The other dictate of Scripture is that we act out of a heart of love, e.g., we don’t use our liberty to offend others, i.e., a weaker believer. God sees my heart and, sometimes, that’s the only comfort I have when a situation is confusing or a choice is there for me to make. Have I sought His will? Is it contrary to His Word? In the end, every choice we make is by faith. I may think that breast feeding is the “right” way, but God may have other plans.
My oldest child, a daughter, is 30 (I married at 18). She is still unmarried. I have cried out to the Lord innumerable times over the years reminding God (because He’s forgetful, you know–lighten up, I’m kidding) that His Word says, “He that finds a wife finds a good thing…” Being a wife may not be in God’s plan for my daughter’s life. Is it disappointing? Is it frustrating? Yes–”but God (my husband says that those are the two greatest words in the Bible)”. My daughter has struggled with the concept of being single over the years, but she is content in Christ. That doesn’t mean that she still wouldn’t like to be married, but her dependence in on God. Period.
The bottom line is this (for me): whatever is not done in faith is sin, I have freedom in Christ (what a liberating, glorious thought) and because I am in Christ, He is delighted in me. I feel like shouting. How awesome that the God of the universe is interested in the details of my life and that He has a plan. Marvelous stuff. Now if I could only apprehend it. Ah, there’s the rub.
I am praying for many of you, sisters in Christ (I would use bold font if I could), about the needs about which you articulated in your posts. May we remember Philippians 4:8-9 when the enemy would accuse and attack and may we grow to comprehend God’s love for us, “in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8).”
BTW, I live in the Bay Area of No CA, so lying in bed at 7:45 isn’t being lazy. Besides, I was up for about three hours through the night, and besides, my kids are older now and they’re sleeping in, and besides my husband, a teacher, is off for the summer, and besides, I’m going out for a walk in a few minutes…I just didn’t want everyone to think I’m being a lazy, negligent mom! Did you see my tongue firmly planted in cheek??
Cathy
Comment by Cathy (August 1, 2007 @ 11:34 am )
Cathy, I LIKE you. I could be your friend. Although, you know, you ONLY have ten children. (Tongue also in cheek!)
I have been pondering Psalm 131 lately, and it fits right in with what you are saying. God is Sovereign, and He is the one who ordains our steps. He blesses us with trials that are meant to help us mature, to conform us to the image of His glorious Son.
David Powlison has a marvelous essay regarding this Psalm, available online. Do a search for “Peace, Be Still: Learning Psalm 131 by heart” by David Powlison.
I can’t begin to do justice to it, but just want to say that no matter what the Lord has ordained for us, we need to live a life of repentance and faith. Do we really believe that God is sovereign, and that He means to bless us with the path He has chose for us? If that path includes singleness, or difficult labours, or childlessness, or joy or pain… do we strive to control things, or do we bow to His will and rest, “like a weaned child”?
Amy, you are preparing for your approaching labour with wisdom, finding out all you can do to help yourself to handle whatever comes. But in the final analysis, you will have to rest in the arms of God, and trust in Him, because all of your striving won’t change a thing. It is good to trust in the living God.
Thanks for the reminder, Cathy.
Janet, a sinner, saved by grace, and the mother of 12 by the grace of God (which doesn’t make me any better than you, Cathy, with your 10, or anyone, for that matter!)
Comment by Janet (August 1, 2007 @ 12:11 pm )
Ginny, you are right. Condescending attitudes are very bad, and they do exist. However, I have often been jumped on for offering helpful suggestions to a mom *who has asked for advice* about breastfeeding or birth, as other women take my suggestions as indictments of they way they did things. I have also been told that I’m not trusting God with my fertility because I breastfeed more than 2 weeks since “breastfeeding doesn’t have any benefits above formula after that time period”, and that my refusing induction for no good reason was ridiculous and all I needed was a good epidural, and if I didn’t want that, there was something wrong with me. It’s frustrating on this side of things, too.
Cathy, my brother in law needs a wife (or so says my dh!). Would your daughter be interested in moving to East Africa? :p
Comment by Margaret (August 1, 2007 @ 3:27 pm )
Margaret: very true.
Perhaps what you’re referring to is the need for Christian women to exercise discernment in the making of their decisions and in the offering of advice to others.
There is a time and place for offering a “word in season,” but the speaker must be attuned to the Lord’s leading on this and not just leap out there and dole out unsolicited advice, despite how right or good the advice may be.
Additionally, it is a double grief when the messenger lacks grace in delivering her message. Especially if she “spiritualizes” her message in her eagerness to prove her point that Breast Is Best, for example.
I don’t mind when people disagree with me. In fact, I enjoy a good debate. But that’s just my personality. I don’t get offended when someone states their opinion but I have friends who are kinder & gentler than me and whom I might deeply hurt by proclaiming my opinion as if it were God’s Word from On High.
Sometimes, especially for new mommies, HOW a message is delivered is just as important as the message itself.
Comment by Elizabeth (August 1, 2007 @ 6:32 pm )
Janet–I have read the essay about which you wrote. A friend gave it me some time ago. Now, if I could only put it into practice. Ugh…I checked out your blog and am in total envy–12 grandchildren! So cool. Is envy a sin? OK, then, I’m guilty. I prayed for Rachel and her birth.
Elizabeth, I love your blog, as well. Loved the book review and thought the qualifier you have about stealing your material is a hoot. I write my own material, can you tell? (My kids would be groaning. Note to self, don’t tell them that you’ve been posting on Amy’s blog.)
Now, I’ll have to put two more blogs on my “Favorites” section of AOL. I’ll be even more slammed than I am now.
Like Elizabeth, I, too, like a lively discussion and I think Amy’s post produced that. Here’s to more.
Cathy, AKA, mother of ten (ONLY because God didn’t give me any more–I don’t want anyone to think less of me
–actually, I was only too happy to end up with ten)
Comment by Cathy (August 1, 2007 @ 7:33 pm )
[...] Scott tells a story she heard from her husband in her most recent post. Her article is entitled Epidurals and other fun stuff. I don’t know anything about Epidurals but her opening story brought back an old memory. Here [...]
Pingback by The Jitney (August 1, 2007 @ 10:38 pm )
Hey everyone - I had some of the same thoughts as Margaret. (Hey Margaret!
)
It can be so hard to know precisely how to handle these things.
I completely agree with you, Amy, that grace and love trump the perfect method. I completely agree with the readers who say it comes down to attitude.
But I also can’t come to the place where I think that all choices are equal.
Examples: I believe that birth without an epidural is better for mom and baby. (And yet, I’ve had seven. I’m sa d about that. If I’d had some woman lovingly share some knowledge with me in my early birthing days, I probably would have only had one epidural. Now, some bossy woman would have been another story….) Instead, education has been nil - until I’ve learned that medically speaking I need to take much more responsibility for my own education.
I have breastfed all of my children. Not because I’m morally superior, but because it worked well. I would love to encourage other women who maybe don’t know how to avoid some of those pitfalls. I hope that doesn’t fall into the category of one woman is better than another - but rather - that we as women ARE lifting each other up. (Not judging harshly if the body doesn’t work like it should. Shoot - in the old days we’d offer to nurse her babies for her.)
Another example might be number of children. I was MAD at the woman who had five children who suggested lovingly that my husband and I not have a vasectomy. (Who did she think she was??? She had not idea how hard my life was!) But after I was finished being mad, God touched my heart and said that she was right….and I am so thankful! Three more children and one in the womb would not be here if she had not spoken - lovingly.
I can name many more examples, where women have spoken to me, and have NOT told me that my choices were okay, and equal, etc., but with sisterly love gently raised alternatives or given advice…sometimes solicited sometimes not. There is health matters, and homeschooling, and….just about every area of my life has been impacted.
How do we women KNOW what another women knows? The issue of breastfeeding - how would we know if someone has desperately tried, or knows important information that we could provide?
So often, in trying to be gentle, loving, and approving - I find that I say nothing worthwhile, and I grow frustrated with sounding luke warm. I think it is a difficult balance to achieve - to be a loving older woman and also someone who is willing to speak up, to be firm and strong in a wicked time, and to offer guidance to those who seek it.
Comment by Holly (August 2, 2007 @ 12:31 am )
Amy, you’ve inspired SUCH a great discussion here! LOVE IT!
I think I’ve become a person that sounds lukewarm too~even though I REALLY DO like a good debate. I’ve started to pray for the things I’m concerned about and only mention those issues that are *sin*. While I know breastfeeding is BEST, and natural childbirth *I* feel is best, and there are SO MANY such issues (that we could all find something we disagree with in one another), these are not issues of *salvation*. Does that make sense?
I have one friend who was not allowed to nurse in her own home in the same room with everyone, and in the middle of life and small children and homeshooling, it was difficult for her! but this was honoring to her husband, so anything I said would have been a moot point anyway~and is this even a good example of what I’m trying to say? I’m not sure I’m expressing myself well~my children are starting to come down~gotta run! LOL! (((((HUGS))))) sandi
Comment by (((((HUGS))))) sandi (August 2, 2007 @ 7:00 am )
I read this verse the other day and it jumped out at me in light of this conversation. I think it fits so well!
Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.
Colossians 4:6
Comment by Rhonda (August 2, 2007 @ 8:29 am )
Amy:
I am so excited to read of your decision to try home birth. My last baby was born at home and it was a wonderful experience. There was an absence of pressure and a freedom to try different coping methods. Because the pain medications weren’t available the pressure to get them was absent too.
Perhaps the most exciting thing about my home birth was reconnecting God with the birth experience and with unpredictable pain. My midwife showed me how pain was not to be feared but something that can draw us closer to God. The labor pains we endure and our responses to them remind me so much of the current pain I am in. So often we resist pain, fear it, numb it out, avoid it big time. My mind keeps wandering to that bottle of vodka downstairs that I use for tinctures. Oh boy, talk about numbing!
We want the baby at the end of the process. The baby being the fruit of the pain or the final reward. However, we don’t want to really feel the pain which can perfect us and draw us intimately closer to God. I had two unmedicated births. One was at the hospital because my daughter came so fast. The other was the home birth. The hospital one I didn’t draw close to God in the pain. The home birth one I did. It was a transformative experience for me. As I walk this dark valley I am in now,I need to remember to know the contractions are coming and not fear them, but embrace them and cling to Christ. Oh dear, then there is the transition and crowning experiences in life!!! Just as the midwife applied a warm compress to the area of importance soothing the pain of crowning, Christ applies warmth when we seek Him that keeps us from feeling like we are about to rip apart. I believe birthing experiences when looked at through the lens of a spiritual transformation no matter what setting can accomplish a great purpose in us. It seems God had a special purpose for this pain in childbirth, for the child rearing process.
The special purpose isn’t to compare ourselves to each other in the area of child birth and child rearing, instead it is to draw ourselves closer to him in humility. Wouldn’t it be incredible instead of comparing methods of how WE did it, if we compared how God used the pain in labor to draw us closer to him in understanding? How did God use my inability to nurse twins to refine me into Christ’s image?
Heaven’s to bestsy, I am pontificating. Sorry.
The Kansas Milkmaid
Comment by Kansas Milkmaid (August 2, 2007 @