Honest prayer
Thursday, Oct 4, 2007
My friends like me because I can be counted upon for an honest assessment. I’m straight-forward. It’s also the reason they hate me. The passing of time and the offering of many apologies has tempered my frankness but I still slip now and again. Sometimes, I try to use what psychologists refer to as the “sandwich approach.” That’s when you say something nice, then say what you really want to say, and then say something nice again. I don’t always remember to, though.
My husband is a peacemaker, but he understands that I like my tonics straight up. So several years ago when I got the worst haircut of my life (and haven’t cut it since), I did what every wife does after she gets a haircut. I put my hands on my hips, paused for a dramatic effect, and said, “So? What do you think?” My husband did what no husband in his right mind would do. He answered, “It’ll grow.”
The Bible is kind of like that too– honest–but more judicial and perfect in its observations. When you hold it up, it is a mirror to your soul and it doesn’t lie. There’s no airbrushing of sin and you’re not allowed to think something is—as my seven-year-old says—“goodish, baddish.” God is good and sin is bad. The Bible isn’t PC and it doesn’t mince words, “For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23) Or, “Haughty eyes and a proud heart, the lamp of the wicked, are sin!” (Proverbs 21:4)
We just finished reading II Chronicles and discussed the pattern of the kings last night. The good kings obeyed God, and God blessed them. The bad kings were wise in their own eyes. God sent warnings in His mercy and then war, disease, and trouble when they didn’t repent. There’s much more treasure there, but that’s the big picture.
And so, I don’t think it’s a shallow, thoughtless prayer from the one who prays simply, “Lord, we love you. Help us to obey.” It’s how my children pray and how I ought to, too. It’s good to be straight-forward every now and then.
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Once again…first commenter!
Don’t you love how I always point that out.
Amy, my husband says it straight-up, and I’m the peacemaker. Fortunately, it’s balanced us so well. I’ve learned to speak my mind because of him. God is good that way.
And I love what you’ve said here. When I think about the Bible “sayin’ what it means”, I think of the book of James. He just says it, like you’re supposed to do it. (duh.) I like that. It’s one of my most pleasant chapters to read. I appreciate one who does not mince words. I suppose that’s why I love coming here so much.
Blessings.
Comment by Andrea (October 4, 2007 @ 3:33 pm )
Uh, chapters? I meant “books”. James is one of my most favorite books in the Bible to read. Sheesh. Yeah, talk about mincing words!!
Comment by Andrea (October 4, 2007 @ 3:36 pm )
I have often had to wipe the taste of my own shoe out of my mouth … more often than I’d like to remember! But I’m getting a little older and maybe, with the grace of God, the tiniest bit wiser, so I haven’t had such a bad case of Foot-in-Mouth lately.
That’s what I love about the Bible, though. It is so honest! It is so true, and so right!! The same about God, and I love that He is just, but also merciful. I love that simple prayer, and I’m going to keep it in mind as I say my prayers daily …
Thanks for the wonderful encouragement, Amy! How are you feeling?
Comment by Brea (October 4, 2007 @ 3:39 pm )
Hey Amy,
For weeks on, my journal has been reading like that of a 1st grader. Lots of “Help me…”, “Sorry for…”, and “Change me …”. I was starting to think that home-schooling had finally put me in. Your post reminded me that life with Christ can be simple, and that it is ok to ask in simple and honest prayers.
warmly
Heidi
Comment by Heidi (October 4, 2007 @ 3:50 pm )
Andrea, If I had a “sweetest commenter” award, I’d give it to you. You’ll just have to settle for a “Thanks for your sweet dialogue instead.” I hope it’s enough!
I want to jump out of my skin. I’m huge (as told to me 3x this week) and it’s true! I can’t sleep, walk, sit comfortably, or wander too far from a restroom. Everything hurts except my earlobes.
In other words, I feel GREAT! Only 5 weeks to go!
Thanks for asking anyway.
Comment by Amy Scott (October 4, 2007 @ 3:52 pm )
Ahhhh….this is like a breath of fresh air! Thank you for your straightforwardness.
Many Blessings,
Melissa
Comment by Melissa (October 4, 2007 @ 4:29 pm )
people tend to either hate me or love me for the bluntness of my words as well!
Thank you so much for this post!
Comment by MamaArcher (October 4, 2007 @ 4:48 pm )
amy: instead of pre-birth nesting instincts are you having pre-birth blogging instincts? You are bustin’ these posts out!
Comment by Elizabeth (October 4, 2007 @ 9:36 pm )
Your husband’s comment reminds me of what my husband said when I got a particularly “creative” haircut. His comment, “Wow - even I can tell she didn’t do you any favors.” LOL It took a while to grow out that cut!
Comment by Susan (October 4, 2007 @ 10:10 pm )
Oh! A new look…nice!
And that’s not just the first slice of bread in the sandwich.
My kiddos amaze me with the honest, simple straight-forwardness of their prayers too. Well…when they aren’t using the opportunity to tattle and rebuke one another (which is strictly forbidden, but sometimes they do it anyway–because they’re 5 and 7 that way).
Comment by Grafted Branch@Restoring the Years (October 5, 2007 @ 1:24 am )
Amy~
Great post. Thanks. I do think we should be careful what we say and how we say it to some people but always speak the truth. We must indeed search our hearts to find if we are lying by thinking something and speaking out the opposite so as ‘not to offend’.
From a fellow due-in-November buddy!
Comment by Naomi (October 5, 2007 @ 4:53 am )
What a thoughtful post. What a nice way to start the day. I’m just discovering blogs (got tangled up in Pioneer Woman’s romantic musing, and then sort of jumped to other bloggers, and here I am. I think this jump was orchestrated by God. It’s always wonderful to find fellow Christians. I am the plain spoken. My husband was the peacemaker. He is now, at 50, becoming a plain speaker. Now, in the throes of menopause, I just don’t want to get into big long drawn out discussions. Too exhausting. No patience for it. I just want to be quiet in a corner somewhere. How things do change….
Comment by Debby (October 5, 2007 @ 7:07 am )
Well said, Amy. It always amazes me when people try to twist the scriptures to fit their own personal preferences when the Bible speaks so clearly on those issues. (Like homosexuality, men’s headship, etc.)
That article on your sidebar about regretting having children is the most depressing thing I’ve read in a long time! I noticed one of her reasons for NOT having children is that “children make you soft”. Hmmm…apparently not so much for her.
Comment by Myfriendconnie@Smockity Frocks (October 5, 2007 @ 9:16 am )
Hi Amy!
I’ve been reading your blog for awhile now, and I like the heart you put in your posts. I’m more of a peacemaker, but am working on being more balanced. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this!
Comment by Cahleen (October 5, 2007 @ 12:55 pm )
I like what you say about the sandwich… I know the thing to do is to tell the truth in love, but then you have to consider the brethren and not crush them if they are already down, but then again you should be brave and stand firm…. I find that it depends on the individual; some people lean towards shooting from the hip, and therefore have to be aware of this leaning, and then again, some people would curl up and die rather than confront somebody no matter what the Bible says!
I am hoping that maturing in God’s word will make it clearer and easier for me, and until then…..
Comment by Ruth (October 5, 2007 @ 12:58 pm )
I know in my youth (last year and before) I was way too outspoken. But I have learned over the years to either not say anything, which for me (and the listener)is a good thing,or to soften what I want to say quite a bit. My prayers have changed too; they are really simple now. I want ALL of my children to walk with the Lord, and I want my husband and I to be full of His Holy Spirit so that we can train them in His ways. I do pray for other people, but usually the above prayers fit quite well for them too.All the best in the next 5 weeks.
Love
Amanda
http://www.griefandgrace.net
Comment by Amanda (October 5, 2007 @ 10:06 pm )
I am a lurker of your blog, but this morning as I prepare for church (and have been struggling with some stuff) I was touched by your post(s). Thank you for allowing the Holy Spirit to speak through you. I love reading your heart.
God Bless,
Emily
Comment by Emily (October 7, 2007 @ 9:52 am )
What a beautiful post, Amy!
And I love the new look1
Comment by Susanne (October 7, 2007 @ 10:49 am )
I SO WISH I were a little more direct instead of a tiptoeing worm. Thankfully I do have a very best girlfriend~the kind that tells each other, “I love you, but YOU are not submitting in this situation”. Other than she and my own four walls, I’m trying to learn to say no and stop people-pleasing…. (((((HUGS))))) sandi
Comment by (((((HUGS))))) sandi (October 8, 2007 @ 2:55 pm )
I’m glad you are direct. Thank you.
I’m in a dark valley right now. I could use your prayers. I am shameless asking everyone I know to lift me up– I need help in this battle–I’m not doing so well on my own.
Thank you.
Comment by Robin Sampson (October 9, 2007 @ 11:17 am )
Robin,
There is no shame in throwing yourself on God and His mercy. I see on your last posting that there is good reason to. Thinking and praying for you today.
Comment by Amy Scott (October 9, 2007 @ 11:33 am )
I just heard something the other day about the “sandwich approach”. It is actually better to be straightforward and say what you have to say. Especially to your spouse and children.
Apparently those that have gotton the sandwich approach start to cringe when they hear a compliment coming, because they know they are in trouble, or have done something wrong. Which means when a real compliment comes they are just waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Just having heard this the other day, I really don’t want to come off that way.
I love your blog. God bless you.
Sheila
Comment by Happy (October 16, 2007 @ 2:40 pm )