Childbirth literature
Monday, Oct 8, 2007
It seems like there are a lot of “I’ve had a traumatic birth” stories floating around. I don’t know if it’s because I’m a magnet for the stories now that I can empathize or if it’s because mainstream American birth culture is one in serious need of repair. It’s probably both.
From my email:
I am expecting our 3rd child sometime in the next month and a half. (Due date is Nov. 17th) and am wondering what books you would recommend as a believing woman that have been an encouragement as you prepare for labor/delivery. I had a traumatic (but medically unnecessary C-Section) with my first child, a V-Bac with my second (with a doula attending and a doctor who believes that birth is a natural process, not a medical event) and now I am delivering with a group of midwives.
I have been praying lots and seeking the Lord’s peace as I try to prepare for this birth. All of the books I’ve been told to read are so hokey…”believe in your power as a woman” etc. One would think there would be shelves full of books from believing woman on labor and delivery as it is truly one of the most spiritual experiences, in terms of complete surrender to the One Who Is, that there is. Any suggestions? I know you are due soon, too!!
I know that as soon as I get on some Natural Childbirth bandwagon, I’ll see that the wheels are headed right into the C-section room. It’s just the way things go for me. If you want to be ready, though, reading Natural Childbirth literature is the best way to educate yourself for birth. Skip Baby magazine’s 10 Top Labor Tips– because think about it– drug and formula companies pay their bills.
In hindsight now, I’ve learned that the complications from each of my five deliveries were iatrogenic, meaning physician-induced, and that it’s really my choice whether set myself up for them again. Medicine is a means of God’s common grace, and so, there is a good place for it in birth, and yet, its overuse is a misuse.
That said, I believe the best book I’ve read so far on the subject is Dr. Sears’ The Birth Book. It is the book I wish I’d read ten years ago. Since it is popular, I mistakenly assumed it was fluffy and mainstream. It describes God’s natural design wonderfully, yet without an arrogant overtone of “hospitals are evil,” which is what you find in many natural-type books. Many books written by midwives, as well, take particular risks I wouldn’t necessarily take myself (think: breech).
Now, The Birth Book isn’t the thing I need for this birth (Dr. Grantly Dick-Read’s original work, Childbirth Without Fear, is), but it will be what I recommend from now on. I’m open to other suggestions, however, as I obviously haven’t read every book on the subject. Leave some link love in the comment boxes if you want!
This trimester, I’ve read Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way, Spiritual Midwifery, Childbirth Without Fear, Lord of the Birth, Christ Centered Childbirth, The Birth Book, and Heart and Hands. The weakness of the Christian literature is that they’re somewhat medically lightweight. This might be preferable to some women, however, as it’s a lot to digest if you’re not “into” the subject. I can’t say that I’ve read any particular Christian work that stands out to me, though.
November 8th is the day I can look forward to being nausea-free. It is also my due date. Thinking about all of you, too!
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Awesome due date!
I’ll be praying that this delivery is memorable…in the best way! May you continue to experience the grace of the Father and the wisdom you continually share with us all.
Only two babies here and both delivered at the hospital with lots of intervention. Definitely needed on the first one, not so sure on the second. If I could ever do it again (think miracle or surgery reversal!) I would be very interested in using a midwife. I’ll be praying for you, your husband, and your precious baby.
Comment by Aimee (October 8, 2007 @ 8:34 pm )
THANK YOU, Amy for all of the great suggestions. I am ready to get busy reading. I will be praying for you as you prepare for your little one. I read Childbirth Without Fear a few weeks ago. It’s a battle of the mind!
Comment by Kim Mislock (October 8, 2007 @ 8:41 pm )
Praying for a wonderful birth, Amy! I love The Birth Book; it really helped me with my first natural birth back in July. Another book that really was an eye opener for me, was Ina May’s Guide to Birth.(I think it is pretty much the same as Spiritual Midwifery.) It was a compendium of real-life birth stories, which helped me to see that natural birth was feasible.I also learned so much by taking a Bradley class. I highly recommend the course and/or books. I took it, even though I already had birthed 2 children.(both medically-managed births)The Bradley course truly was what I needed to understand and appreciate the fact that my body was created to birth.Unfortunately, I do not know of a “meaty” Christian childbirth book. I really wish that I did.Blessings!
Comment by Christine (October 8, 2007 @ 8:51 pm )
I’m usually just a lurker, but had to chime in here with a recommendation for The Joy of Natural Childbirth. I can’t remember the author’s name right now and I’ve donated my copy to the library, but this book is all about preparing for a natural birth from a Christian perspective.
Comment by Cathy (October 8, 2007 @ 9:37 pm )
This has nothing to do with childbirth stories. It just has to do with this grandparent - and physician - who enjoys your site, prays that things will go so smoothly that you won’t believe you’ve given birth, and who KNOWS that you’re firmly, irrevocably, absolutely in the loving arms of the Lord.
Comment by Tom (October 8, 2007 @ 9:38 pm )
Amy, did you find “Childbirth Without Fear” to be convincing? I just read it, as I am currently trying to work through a lot of fear from my last two births, and while it was interesting I found it really hard to believe. What is your opinion?
Comment by Emily (October 8, 2007 @ 10:12 pm )
Hi, Amy!
This is my first comment here, though I’ve been reading for a while now.
I enjoy your posts about childbirth and am praying for a great birth for you this time around!!
I was excited back when I read that you were planning a home birth.
Also, I wanted to thank you for the mention of my blog on your post about making Jambalayas. (Never heard of whatever kind of food that is, but, maybe I’ll try your recipe/instructions sometime! We do like trying new recipes. :D)
Comment by Tammy L (October 8, 2007 @ 10:41 pm )
Cathy, The Joy of Natural Childbirth is by Helen Wessel. I just read another book of hers, Under the Apple Tree, last month. I forgot to include that one in my list, too.
It’s like sitting down with an old lady with a cup of tea. Some of the information was outdated (a quick search pulled up a 1981 publishing date, but it seemed older than that).
I also forgot that I read The Complete Book of Pregnancy and Childbirth by Sheila Kitzinger, but I didn’t find it particularly notable.
Thank you Tom, Aimee, and Kim for the well wishes.
Christine, I found Ina May’s position on the sphincter law interesting, so that’s why I picked up Spiritual Midwifery. Definitely not the spirits I’m into though.
Spiritual Midwifery’s stories are taken from the hippie days, and I found it somewhat annoying to read “rushes” instead of “contractions.” Plus, describing the experience as “phychodelic” and “far out” was just not my thing.
I’m also not into slang term use, as I think professionals should stick to correct terminology.
When a woman told her story, she said, “I had a difficult time integrating the rushes,” that was code for the fact that she freaked out. Why not just be real? Maybe she was, and I was just too skeptical.
No running water, premature deliveries without heading to the hospital (when it was available), breech birthing, trusting instinct instead of making a physical assessment via technology or manually–there was just lots of things that would make me uncomfortable, which is not conducive to getting a baby out.
That said, she has many years experience and has brought much to the practice of midwifery.
Comment by Amy Scott (October 8, 2007 @ 10:41 pm )
I learned so much about childbirth, anatomy, and the function of the mind and hormones on the process that, yes, I thought it was worthwhile.
Now that I am experiencing continuous contractions and allowing myself to go limp and relax (to prevent the first and third layers of the uterus from working against each other, right?), I’m somewhat disappointed. I keep waiting for the pain to go away, but it doesn’t. I’m guessing it’s not as bad as it could be, but still, I expected a lot more relief than I’m getting. You’d think a pain-free birth was possible after reading it (my interpretation, not his fault), but I think his point was that the pain is managable, not non-existent.
I’m dealing with a lazy and tired uterus (due to spacing and number), and I don’t recall him dealing with that specifically. I imagine that brings with it another set of variables.
Reading it made my education more complete, and that’s why I enjoyed it. Knowledge is power and all that… I did my part by doing all I can do. The rest is spiritual and mental. I can’t tell you how that will go until after it already went. Meaning, I vacillate between strong and pathetic, and I just hope labor hits at the right moment. I talk real big and well, but nausea turns me into a weakling.
Comment by Amy Scott (October 8, 2007 @ 10:52 pm )
I haven’t read the book you mentioned, but my personal favorite is The Complete Book On Childbirth by Debra Evans. She is a certified childbirth educator who is a believer & mother of four. Her book is focused on Scripture. Very well written & very informative. She explains everything and is very thorough. I have loaned my copy out and every preg. woman who has used it has been very thankful to have had it at the end of their pregnancy.
Comment by L (October 8, 2007 @ 10:55 pm )
As a (currently on hiatus) Christian doula, I’m sorry to say that I don’t have any great books to add to your list. I find that I just have to read birthing materials with good filters on. You just have to keep sifting out the spiritual framework laid on top of God’s truths and the amazing way he created our bodies. Someday, someone oughta’ write a really good one, ya know? (And, no, I’m not volunteering!)
Not for information, but simply for a little extra encouraging Christian companionship on the journey, there’s an older book out there called Help, Lord, I’m Having a Baby (very briefly marketed under the name What to Expect From God When You’re Expecting)by Cathy Hickling, which has a very short devotional entry, written each day during one of her pregnancies. (As a side note, I realized that the author’s p.o. box zip code was my own, and contacted her!)
In any case, your day of “deliverance” is drawing near!
Comment by Marian (October 8, 2007 @ 11:23 pm )
Dear Amy,
I had such a similar experience with reading about birth. You would think that there would be more GOOD books from a Christian perspective, wouldn’t you?
I found The Birth Book from the Sears to be my absolute favorite. While I don’t seem to do a lot of the Attachment Parenting stuff like they recommend in their The Baby Book, I felt like they were right on as far as birth. I LOVED that they try to help you have as natural a birth as possible, while still helping you to know what other options are available.
While I read probably 20+ different books while pregnant the first time, The Birth Book was the only one I reread before giving birth a few weeks ago.
I just had my second homebirth about 4 weeks ago. It went great. It was so much easier than the first! The first was.soooo.long., but had no complications.
I, too, had read so many horror birthstories while pregnant. I found that by being at home and laboring upright, I bypassed most of the bad stuff. Yes, it hurt, but it ends. I think a lot of women try to one-up each other on making their labor and birth sound harder than everyone else’s. I figure, it’s really not easy on anyone, and most people seem to exaggerate the tough stuff, so ignore most of what is said.
I had always figured I’d give birth in the hospital with an epidural, but once I was pregnant and starting really reading and researching everything, I quickly changed my mind. I’m so glad I did!
You can email me if you have any questions about homebirths. I’m not an expert, but I can share my experiences and maybe even give a few suggestions that helped me. Know that you are in my prayers as you prepare for the big day! Also, I have a list of Scriptures that I wrote out on index cards that I read A LOT in the days before the birth as well as during labor as I could. I’d be happy to share those if you are interested.
Comment by Kimberly (October 9, 2007 @ 12:11 am )
I read The Birth Book before my first birth experience. It helped to educate me about the whole process so that I wasn’t too fearful.
Comment by Leslie (October 9, 2007 @ 12:19 am )
All the best for the 8th (or whenever baby decides to come). The 9th is my baby’s 2nd birthday.
I loved The Birth Book. William and Martha are so down to earth. I have also enjoyed the book Active Birth, but I don’t tend to get very active during labour.Instead, I have found some really scientific and state of the art things to help during labour;I just ignore it until I can’t any longer and shut myself up in the shower until baby makes his exist. It doesn’t work for everyone, but it did for most of my homebirths.
It would be nice to see some well seasoned Christian Mums write about birth.
Love
Amanda Axelby
Comment by Amanda (October 9, 2007 @ 5:26 am )
“I think his point was that the pain is managable, not non-existent.”
Ahh, Amy, I think you’ve got it!!
And “relaxed and limp” won’t take the pain away, but will help make it managable, once contraction at a time.
Blessings, I’ll be praying.
Comment by Andrea (October 9, 2007 @ 6:20 am )
I really all of Dr. Sears books. He is a Christian and has lots of kids, too! I just downloaded a new e-book written by Candy Brauer that is for sale on her site (www.keepingthehome.com) called “Christian Homebirth and Happy Babies”. She talks about her experiences giving birth to her four babies at home, with just her husband. It was an interesting read.
Comment by Valerie (October 9, 2007 @ 10:54 am )
Amy,
Congratulations–you won the Goat’s Milk lotion give away for guessing the correct weight of our baby! If you’ll e-mail me, I’ll give you the choice of fragrances, and get that sent to you!
I pray your delivery went as smoothly as mine…it was my easiest yet! I may have missed it…have you decided fully yet, whether you are delivering at home?
Comment by Word Warrior-Kelly (October 9, 2007 @ 11:07 am )
Kelly,
You’re ahead of me by a month (or less, hopefully). We are still planning a homebirth. It’ll be our first. Congratulations on your easy delivery!
Comment by Amy Scott (October 9, 2007 @ 11:36 am )
I read the title Lord of the Birth and, being the Irish Dance family that we are, I just can’t get the idea of wearing a pair of ghillies and doing jigs and reels through labor. All that bouncing sure would help the little one move on down, wouldn’t it?
Your comment “I’m dealing with a lazy and tired uterus” clicked with me! I too endured constant painful contractions for weeks before my Caoimhe (who turns one TODAY!) arrived. I honestly could not tell if I was in labor, which seemed to annoy my OBs. I finally agreed to an induction to END the agony and uncertainty. And you know all the intervention that comes with that… praise God I didn’t wind up with a c-section.
Despite having given birth 7 times I’m clueless on how to avoid a repeat should there ever be an 8th.
I do think it’s painfully obvious that most OBs don’t know what to *do* with a woman who’s had more than the average amount of children, beyond moaning that having “so many” babies presents a huge risk and mumbling the word “hemorrhage” at every prenatal appointment.
I wish I could be one of these wonderfully calm, homebirthing Momys, but that doesn’t seem to be God’s plan for me.
All that to say that I don’t have any wisdom for you Amy, but I’ve been right where you are. I understand and I’m praying mightily for a joyful, healing birth for you this time!
And if all else fails maybe you can try a slip jig during transition.
Comment by Kerrie (October 9, 2007 @ 11:45 am )
I’m a fan of _The Birth Book_ as well. Just about everything in the Sears collection is good stuff. He has a newer book called something like Christian parenting that I’ve been giving to new mom friends and have gotten great feedback on. I wish I had bought the Sears _The Baby Book_ FIRST instead of all those What to expect books.
Comment by Catherine (October 9, 2007 @ 11:54 am )
Amy: I admire you going the home-birth route. I will still admire you if, during the middle of labor, you decide it’s time to get an epidural and you high-tail it over to the hospital.
Comment by Elizabeth (October 9, 2007 @ 12:12 pm )
I agree about Ina May’s works, Amy. There were some things that I was uncomfortable with. I mainly tried to put on “mental filters” and get the most out of it that I could. I also was not wild about the breech births, etc, depicted in it. What I did like, was looking at the births where the baby was anterior and head downward, and I saw how normal that type of birth could be. Complicated births are one thing, but I was fretting over a normal labor and delivery, and I am grateful for resources which helped me to get over my fears.Blessings!
Comment by Christine (October 9, 2007 @ 12:31 pm )
I just realized my typo “I pray your delivery WENT…” I know you haven’t delivered…that should have been “goes”! I guess my postpregnancy brain is still in recovery too!
Comment by Word Warrior-Kelly (October 9, 2007 @ 1:09 pm )
My best advice for childbirth is to cover yourself in prayer. Know that I will be praying for you and I’m sure your faithful readers will, too! I’ve read most of the books you’ve listed and I’m quite knowledgeable on the subject, too. Sometimes we can know too much, kwim?!? Trust in the Lord. I’ll be doing the same as I pray for a successful VBAC in April. Praying for you!
Comment by Nancy P. (October 9, 2007 @ 3:11 pm )
I absolutely loved Childbirth Without Fear. It was exactly what I needed after wasting so much time on books like The Girlfriend’s Guide to Pregnancy (UGH!). I really feel like the education side of birthing is so ignored–I turned to medical journals, studies, etc. to get my information. Of course, I had a university library at my perusing pleasure. Either way, it meant I spent a ton of time reading.
And November 8th is my birthday, so I can personally recommend it
Comment by Emily (October 9, 2007 @ 5:01 pm )
I wrote you a while back asking for your prayers for my 4th birth that was coming up. I was having panic attacks and worried about big babies and possible hospital transfer(they’ve all been born at home).
So I wanted to update.
Tyler James was born on August 29th, just 8 days after my edd.
We ended up transfering to the hospital.
Apparently having had 4 babies in 4 years my muscles were not holding baby up and over cervix to come out like he was supposed to.
Midwife wanted me to lay on my back to encourage him over my cervix, I said no, too much pain, take me in for an epidural.
My midwife has known me for almost 5 years now and when I said these words to her, her jaw dropped.
I had been in labor for 3 days and had enough of the horrible abnormal labor pain and threw up my hands and said I quit.
We were expecting a huge uproar at the hospital, but the LORD intervened and it was like I wasn’t even there.
He was my smallest baby yet at 9 lbs. 7 oz and 22 inches.
I didn’t feel a thing.
Now my midwife is asking if I’ll even have the next one at home!
I say, yes. I will get my abs in shape and have the next one at home(LORD willing).
Thanks for your prayers. Hospitals were always my greatest fear.
He carried me through.
†
Natalie
Comment by Natalie (October 9, 2007 @ 5:33 pm )
Thank you so much for the update, Natalie. Congratulations on your new (big!) baby. I’m so glad you followed up and let me know how it went. I do so love reading birth stories!
I wish that for me too. You know, I can’t tell you how many people say, “You must be so good at this,” which of course, is the biggest joke around. I’m terrible at the whole pregnancy and childbirth thing, just terrible.
I’ve promised the Lord that I will only boast in Him and that if He gave me an easy labor, I wouldn’t get on any bandwagons. That I’ve learned to offer sympathy and encouragement–and that our identity is in Christ and not whether I “fail” or am tough.
We’ll see how He deals with me, eh?
Comment by Amy Scott (October 9, 2007 @ 7:48 pm )
I am enjoying reading all of the comments on this one! We are expecting our 6th baby, due November 11, and it has been fun to follow Amy during this pregnancy. I have had much preterm labor and am expected to have this little one, Lord willing, any time. Does anyone have any good links for childbirth education. I was convinced I would have an epideral until recently, I really want to try it natural. Last time I really lost control, and had a horrible time during pushing (although it wasn’t long). I am so scared of this point in labor.
I really dislike the new age books on childbirth but have found the Sears website helpful.
The biggest thing I can think of when I will feel that little head come down is that soon I will be able to kiss that sweet head and hold that precious baby. Maybe that will be enough, by God’s grace to get me through, any ideas?
Comment by M (October 9, 2007 @ 7:59 pm )
Dear M,
Look into Bradley labor techniques and another woman who can stay with you through your entire labor. (This seems somewhat at odds, as Bradley is known as “husband-coached childbirth”, but at this late in the game, I wouldn’t suggest it unless your husband has already succeeded in keeping you focused during transition.) I think another woman who will act as your doula might be the ticket. At the very least, you will have good support–which we all need when we lose our brains during the really hard part. I’ve never had anyone tell me “YOU’RE ALMOST FINISHED!” when I’m yelling and losing it. That is key: to know that the end is in sight. The reason I freak is because I’m thinking, “OH NO. What if this goes on all day?” Even though I know this objectively from here, when you’re there, you just can’t think straight. And even though I know it’s coming, I still can’t remember it in the moment.
Comment by Amy Scott (October 9, 2007 @ 8:16 pm )
Amy,
Every time I have had a drug free birth (the last 4), toward the end I scream, “I CAN’T DO IT!!” My husband always assures me that I can and that it is almost over. Then, every time, I promise myself that I won’t say that the next time. We’ll see. This one is due on Christmas Day.
Have you read Supernatural Childbirth? ::snort:: Just kidding!
Comment by Myfriendconnie@Smockity Frocks (October 9, 2007 @ 8:59 pm )
“Ina May’s Guide to Chilbirth” is my favorite so far. I also have Spiritual Midwifery, and found the hippy talk really annoying. The “Guide” is much, much better!
Comment by Margaret (October 9, 2007 @ 9:19 pm )
Forget trying to find the “perfect book” when you already possess it. Stay at home and ride out your labor praying, singing and reading God’s Word.
I was determined not to go to the hospital until the end, so no one could strap me to a bed and pump me full of medicine (probably because I was hollering for it, despite the fact I bravely told them nothing for me.) I walked the floor,did my panting, prayed,sang (sometimes rather loudly)talked to myself (saying those things I would tell someone else going through the same thing, and read, while my husband got a good night’s sleep. I woke him early morning, we drove to the hospital, walked into the delivery room, put on the table and there was the head. Painful yes but worth it as no after effects from medicine and I was able to be miserable in the confines of my own home,yet doctor and hospital available if needed. You make decisions trusting God. Keep your eyes focused on the big picture.
Comment by Jane (October 9, 2007 @ 11:22 pm )
Are you still experiencing nausea and sickness? I had horrible nausea and morning sickness with my last child(#7). The sickness ended around 5-6 months, but then I had awful acid reflux and still dealt with nausea.
Praying all goes well with this labor and delivery.
Comment by Robin (October 10, 2007 @ 8:43 am )
Can you email me, Amy? I have been wanting to send you my birth story from the last baby as an encouragement. I really like your practical approach to natural childbirth and medical care; I agree completely, and I’ve had four hospital births, one in a birthing center, and five at home.
The book I would like to see is one for women who have had many children. Most are written for those having their first or second baby.
Comment by Carmon (October 10, 2007 @ 11:32 am )
Please forgive me as I have not read through the comments. Although it is important to be informed about childbirth is it really necessary to read all these books and base so much on them. I am aware that the childbirth set up is different here to in the states so maybe my comment is not valid. I am also aware that there are many more mothers of large families in the states who will ‘brave’ another birth despite a bad/traumatic experience- so again maybe certain books are needed. I have found (as I sit here 3 days overdue) that no two experiences are the same and that while to be knowledgable is helpful, the only way to calmly face what is, after all, a painful and daunting experience is with our faith and trust in Christ. Maybe over here there is less need to stand up to the ‘medics’ because the mid wives do it for you!
Comment by Susanna (October 10, 2007 @ 11:48 am )
I just wanted to share that my recent homebirth was WONDERFUL!! I had 2 in the hospital, not terrible, but not wonderful–too much unnecessary intervention of various kinds. I had epidurals and a normal dr. with both. This time I decided to do a homebirth in my 30th week of pregnancy. All the midwives I called laughed at me. Anyway, I found a wonderful Christian midwife, had a very easy 2-hour from start to finish delivery of a 10-lb. baby (OK, 9 lbs. 15 ozs.
). Attending were the midwife, assistant (also a trained midwife, my mom (who had 3 homebirths) and husband. The best way I can sum it up was to tell you that my husband was supportive of the idea of a homebirth, but somewhat apprehensive. After the fact, I heard him tell his sister that we would never have a baby in the hospital again if we had a choice.
I haven’t read any of the books mentioned other than the Bradley method, which was helpful. I recommend spending some time now while you’re having frequent contractions finding the pressure spot below your tailbone. I can’t even describe how much that helped me with the pain. I wouldn’t let my mom let go for a second.
Anyway, back to books. My 2 faves are A Midwife’s Story by Peggy Armstrong. It’s a memoir of a midwife in Lancaster County, PA to a mostly Amish clientele. That book is heartwarming and motivating. I read it at least once during every pregnancy. Also, this time around I found the most amazing kid’s book introducing kids to a homebirth. It’s called Welcome With Love by Jenni Overend. My kids loved it and I was able to talk with them about what was happening. It has great illustrations and is told from the point of view of an older brother about one of my son’s age.
Comment by Heather (October 10, 2007 @ 12:15 pm )
Delurking to highly recommend Henci Goer’s _The Thinking Woman’s Guide to a Better Birth_. It’s well-written and filled with real research. I try to give a copy to every pregnant woman I know. I wish I had read it before I had my first baby and was railroaded into every horrendous medical intervention short of a c-section. I carried a lot of fear around because of that first birth. (BTW, I have since gone on to birth 8 more babies, 7 of which have been born at home and 1 at a free-standing birth center.)
Going back to lurk mode now.
Comment by Alison in OH (October 10, 2007 @ 1:34 pm )
The Birth Book was what calmed me down, too. It gave me so much information in such a good way that I was finally prepared for a birth. I read it before my 3rd baby and was never so thankful. Ever. My 3rd and 4th babies went so well. I was just plain grateful. I second/third and fourth the motion of having a doula. One that works well with a medical establishment, too. I had the best of both worlds and I love your perspective, Amy!
As for reading only the Bible for how to get through birth. I can guess it would help in ways I can’t imagine (I did memorize certain verses and everything - and relying on God is paramount) but I certainly have to say that I’m sure Luke the physician knew a few helpful things he didn’t put in the gospel he wrote. And I don’t think they were unimportant. Reading other literature must always be done in light of God’s redeeming word - but it isn’t unhelpful, sinful nor unimportant to know things outside of what God’s word specifically covers. You know … like what hole a baby actually comes out! hee hee … the Bible didn’t tell me that one!
Comment by brooke (October 10, 2007 @ 4:00 pm )
I love reading all of these comments. So many different perspectives.
Amy, I have an award for you over at my site http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/grief4baby/406440/
I received it this morning and wanted to pass it on to you because I love your site so much. You are an inspiration to this older Mum.
Blessings,
Amanda Axelby
Comment by Amanda (October 10, 2007 @ 5:49 pm )
Just piping in to note my agreement with Margaret (comment #31). I read both of Mrs Gaskin’s books, and loved both, but just thought ‘Guide’ was the better of the two. I understand why she used all the other terms (rushes, etc), but it just takes a while to get used to them!
I have an aunt who used to be a midwife’s assistant, and the midwife she worked for trained under Ina May Gaskin. I’ve heard so many wonderful personal stories about her that I knew I had read her books when we decided to go with out homebirth for the most recent baby.
Good luck and many prayers for your l&d, Amy.
Comment by Brea (October 10, 2007 @ 7:16 pm )
Hi Amy~
I have to second Alison’s recommendation of Henci Goer’s The Thinking Woman’s Guide to Childbirth. She is pro-natural, but gives the pros and cons of everything she talks about. She backs it all up with research. An extremely interesting book, and one every woman of childbearing age should read!
All things being equal, home is the only place to have a baby. I realize there are situations where that is not possible, but to be in the comfort of your own home, surrounded by the familiar ~ is incomparable. May God grant you a great labor and delivery and a healthy baby to love and hold.
Comment by Tracy D. (October 10, 2007 @ 8:02 pm )
Forgive me if I gave the wrong impression. I didn’t say you should only read the Bible and I agree that reading books outside of God’s Word
is not sinful and may be helpful and important, but my point as Susanna stated, was that our faith in Christ is the best calming medicine for facing any painful situation. And the Bible does talk about childbirth and it is usually in reference to pain. There is no way escaping the pain (although there are ways of easing it)as it is a result of sin and part of the curse God put upon Eve. So who better than God and His Word will sustain and give us just what we need to get through any situation.
Comment by Jane (October 10, 2007 @ 8:17 pm )
You’re right, Amy, you need that person to shout at you “ALMOST DONE KEEP GOING JUST A LITTLE TINY BIT LONGER NOW” while you’re in transition.
I’ve had two birth center, midwife, drug free, Bradley births. I say that matter of factly, not boastfully, because my midwives and husband and God pulled me through. I was a screaming, crying wreck at transition (and sometimes other points) with both. It was my “team” literally YELLING at me at times that I was fine, doing great, keep going, just a little longer…. etc. that did it. I vividly remember screaming in fear and pain during one transition contractin with my first, and my midwife getting right into my face and going “What are you afraid of? Tell me in words. Don’t scream!” (like you would a child). And I blubbered “It’s so bad now! It’s only going to get worse and worse and I can’t take it if it gets worse and worse.” And she got right back in my face, held it in her hands and said “I promise you, it will not get worse than it is right now. I PROMISE you this will be over and you will push out your son very soon. I PROMISE if you just hang in there a little longer that this will end soon.” And all of a sudden, I was okay. I was still in pain, but I was okay. I said “Short while? Push out my baby?” and she was like “YES.” And I was okay.
And forget about painless. Sorry, but it isn’t painless. Some parts aren’t so bad, early on and in the middle, and pushing isn’t bad, but transition just isn’t painless. It’s overwhelming and almost nearly unbearable…but so short! So short, and you just need someone to tell you that over and over. If you just get through that almost unbearable BUT SO SHORT time, you’ll push out the baby and be done and you will have made it intervention free!
Prayers for a home birth like you are wishing for.
Comment by colicmommy (October 10, 2007 @ 8:42 pm )
Amy,
I’m not sure what the materials say about the actual birth experience itself, but I love Shonda Parker’s books, her practical yet natural approach to family health has helped us with a wide variety of medical issues (and kept us out of the february office visit/copay/prescription cycle!). http://www.naturallyhealthy.org/
Stephanie
Comment by Stephanie (October 10, 2007 @ 8:42 pm )
Amy, I just saw your comments about the Farm. And I can understand being uncomfortable with their early practices, but….Ina May and the Farm practice has had a consistent 2% intervention rate in those 30 years. And lower mortality rates that most hospitals.
I considered running away to the Farm when my last baby was threatening to be breech, and the doctor was threatening me with the scalpel.
Comment by Margaret (October 10, 2007 @ 9:13 pm )
Amy, you have inspired me so much that I am seriously considering a home birth for this baby. (Sshh….don’t tell the medical establishment - I would be blackballed!) Since my husband and I are both docs, and we have both delivered lots of babies, I asked him if he would deliver ours at home. His response to my sweetly-worded request? “No way! Are you kidding?”
I couldn’t even get him to deliver our other two at the hospital - my family doc delivered them. Oh well, I still have six and a half months to convince him!
Comment by Valerie (October 10, 2007 @ 10:43 pm )
Amy,
Hey, it’s the crunchy former L & D nurse from Seattle again. First of all, there is a new book out (July 2007) that is really an easily digestible, well researched expose of the disparity between evidenced based medicine and actual practices in American birth culture today. Even better, you can go to the website if you don’t have time to read it! http://www.pushedbirth.com I wish all you smart women would take the time to read it, but for those of you that need a synopsis, the “START HERE” column will do.
I was really identifying with your fear as my third guy was 10lbs 8oz and I was pregnant with my fourth. I just was scared of pushing another baby out because it was so intense with the bigger baby (is it ever easy though?) I am compelled to say a few things about that homebirth in July. Well, God was so gracious to me! Gideon Justus was 11lbs 6 oz (only three days overdue)!
Not a SINGLE TEAR. Can I just EXTOL the benefits of warm washcloths and pressure on the bottom while pushing? NO WOMAN SHOULD BE WITHOUT THEM! That and being reminded to follow what my body was telling me (even though I kept threatening to blast him out). During active labor I was folding laundry (hey, it’s the fourth kid) and as I was going into transition I told my husband I wanted to cry. Well, he said I always have a cry and go ahead. A bit of weeping really let me relax and surrender completely. That and prayer. I also have to say that if you lie on your side, contractions will be more intense, and do more work~if you can relax with them- it may go faster that way if you just want to get it over with. (I had three contractions for transition) I couldn’t have pushed him out anywhere else-I was comfortable, safe, on my own mattress and got in exactly the position I could handle it (which never would have worked in a hospital bed). The little (ha!) guy is now 16 lbs and growing strong.
As another help through transition, for the second baby my husband and I sang Psalms in between contractions…until my words turned into the sounds of a lowing moose
I pray God gives you exactly what you need, as He so graciously gave to me.
Comment by megan (October 11, 2007 @ 12:33 am )
And I have to say “forgive ME” if I gave the wrong impression! When I re-read my post, it looked as if I was trying to counteract what you were saying. It wasn’t my intention to make it look as if you were saying we shouldn’t read anything but the Bible. And I’m so sorry. I just took my comments further than you went — and in the end, made it look as if you went that far. And I’m sorry! I truly agree with you. In fact, when I was in a fearful pregnancy, it was those verses about pain that helped me, actually. Just knowing that it just IS painful and to get through it was helpful in a strange way.
Comment by brooke (October 11, 2007 @ 1:17 am )
May I just add to my previous comments that the more I think about it the more I see how the set up differs. For example the first question my mid wife asked me was ’so, are we going for a home birth this time?’ She has just left my house having done a sweep (ouch) to try and get baby moving before she goes on holiday tomorrow. You don’t ‘find’ your mid wife over here- they are allocated on the basis of who your GP is and they work in a team so you get to know all 4-5 members during pregnancy and then one of them will be the one to deliver your baby (unless the unit is so busy that somone else has to do it). You only see a Dr at the 12 week scan and then if there are any problems. Otherwise the care is pretty much mid wife led. I gave birth to #1 in hospital as was induced because my BP went dangerously high- no escaping that one, but the experience was fine and the mid wife was a Christian - Praise the Lord! The consultant had advised a c section but the mid wife said ‘no, not if I can get the baby out in the next 12 hours’. All that to say please don’t think I was being harsh. I read my conception, pregnancy and birth book a lot- but it is a secular work and just deals in the facts rather than specific techniques. May God bless all labouring mummy’s, expectant mummy’s and hands full mummys!
Comment by Susanna (October 11, 2007 @ 6:18 am )
Right. Spiritual Midwifery’s stories are taken from the hippie years. As already pointed out, her later papers and books are different.
Oh my! I just finished that one too last month. I can’t believe I forgot about it. I thought it was neat how she came to embrace homebirthing AFTER dealing with the Amish, instead of walking in already convinced. It was interesting to see that progression.
Yes. Thank you for asking. I’m having a hard time with it.
***************
Congratulations to all the new moms and babies!
Comment by Amy Scott (October 11, 2007 @ 4:04 pm )
Praying that you have a “manageable”, lovely birth that you can look back on with a smile. Eventually, of course!
Comment by Melissa (October 12, 2007 @ 8:32 am )
I am very obviously in the minority here b/c as I have mentioned before (in a previous comment I think), I have no interest in ever having a homebirth! I also am not from the camp of having so many children as seems is prominent in the families of commenters. I I came from a family of 10 kids and I could write a whole book about that experience… and it wouldn’t be all sunshine and happy days…not that I don’t love my siblings but there were alot of hardships along the way…
Comment by Rose (October 12, 2007 @ 9:46 pm )
You’ve read lots of books. Physically, you know how it is, intellectually, you know how it is. Each birth is a little different, to be sure, but I’ve no doubt that God will provide for your needs as they arise. You are a spiritual woman who is growing in wisdom and in faith as you endure with grace.
And, of course, we’re all praying for you!
Comment by debby (October 13, 2007 @ 10:07 am )
Me again.
I had my son yesterday- and the planned home birth was ….not a home birth! I think if I had insisted the midwife would have let me stay there but with my previous raised BP I did not feel it was worth the risk. Just to encourage you all though- although I went to the hospital it was a great experience. I woke up at 3am, got to the hospital at 5.40 am, was told babies head was high and I would have a lot of pushing to do(great!) Waters broke about 4th push (approx 6.08) and baby boy born at 6.20am. I know this was an amazingly fast labour (almost too fast!) but it all worked out perfectly in the Lord’s timing. That is my second birth, neither have gone to my ‘plan’ and yet both have been attended by awesome blessings.I was home again by 11am and most importantly for me did not have to spend the night away from my husband and toddler. So I trust will be the case for each and every one of you….The Lord knows what is best for each one of us. Bizarrely enough the verses about Eve and the curse of painful childbirth kept going through my head while I was in pain (quick doesn’t mean no pain!)….but it was actually comforting to know that the Lord knew just what was happening and was in control.
Comment by Susanna (October 13, 2007 @ 11:51 am )
Susanna! What a wonderful story (I clicked over to your blog)! Thank you for sharing and a hundred “Congratulations!” to you!
Comment by Amy Scott (October 13, 2007 @ 12:25 pm )
Staying relaxed and limp is the hardest work I’ve ever done! So worth it though!
Speaking of hokey- we used hypnobirthing for this birth- the best option available in our area for childbirth classes. All others given by the hospital. Being a compliant patient with the first with the first led to induction and edidural. But much of it worked for us- especially the relaxation CD during labor (it’s not really hypnosis, just deep relaxation). They call contractions, surges. Good for visualization, but a contraction is a contraction. My doula had to keep that CD playing over and over or I’d snap at her!
Comment by Amy (October 14, 2007 @ 8:25 am )
I posted the laboring verses I used a few weeks ago when I had my second wee one at home. May they encourage you.
http://kimberlys-cup.blogspot.com
Comment by Kimberly (October 15, 2007 @ 10:01 pm )
I was just checking in on the blog, trying to catch uop on ya’ll and was reading your book list! Those are all the books I was going to recommend…so Good Job! I will pray that the Lord helps you with your relaxation…practice daily…it’ll make such a difference! And I’ll pray the the Lord takes all of your ‘head’ knowledge and makes it ‘heart’ knowledge. Bless you all and can’t wait to see you in the Spring when you move up here!
Ashley
Comment by Ashley Cangelosi (October 27, 2007 @ 2:35 pm )