I wrote my last post on a whim—very quickly and off-the-cuff. I didn’t ponder the content because I thought it rather benign. Really, who could argue that parents should “be there” for their children? We know that there are people who argue that quality matters, not quantity, but the people who read here have a ton of common sense. They already know better than that.

Still, some discussion arose, and I hope others will feel free to chime in.

Do you think our children notice and appreciate the fact that we are “always there” if they are at home with us all day? The example you referred to fits nicely with a son or daughter who is coming home from school, but what about the ones who don’t leave their homes much?

Young children aren’t always the most thankful creatures. Thankfulness is oftentimes something people cultivate in hindsight. But parents still should give children what they need, even if they aren’t capable of realizing they need it–just like we give them green veggies, multiplication facts, and regular bedtimes.

For many years, I walked around waiting for someone to notice my sacrifice and hoped for some grand acknowledgment on Mother’s Day. (I admit it.) One day I realized that my obedience is better than feeling appreciated. And this is the secret of the Christian’s life–everything is an offering for Christ. What we do for little ones, we do for Christ.

…how does one go about “being there” in a sense, when she might not actually be allowed to continue to “be there” as her children grow, mature, become young men and women of God?

This point was raised by a mom fighting cancer.

This is the shortcoming of writing whimsically–saying something without saying everything. But I’m afraid I missed the main thing. While it is important to be there for our children, it is not the most important thing. Teaching them to love and obey God is. We are not promised tomorrow, but God is the only One able to say, “I will never leave you or forsake you.” When we teach our children well, we give them all that they need for the moment that will come when they have to walk without us.

Michaele, I pray that your remission from cancer is not a “might be” but a sure thing.

What if you can’t be “there” because you have to work to keep the ship afloat? Does that make you less of a Christian, less of a woman, less of a mother, less of a PW [Amy: PW stands for “pastor’s wife”]?

I think your “does that make me less” sentiment comes from a general carelessness with our words. I recently heard someone say that it was sin for women to work outside the home, not qualifying the circumstances or age of the woman. This surprised me a bit, as I immediately thought of how much my Christian girlfriends love those female labor and delivery nurses, obstetricians, and midwives.

I’ve also noticed that, some would say, it’s OK to volunteer outside the home (especially doing ministry), but it’s not OK to “pick up a shift” for money outside of the home. This position is inconsistent and intellectually dishonest. The distinction isn’t in Scripture; we are commanded to keep our homes. To hold a consistent position, you’d have to say that both are sin.

When Jesus healed the blind man on the Sabbath, this was an outrage. In this way, however, we see that God is more interested in our keeping the spirit of His Words and not the letter only. This is how it is possible for a woman to stay at home 24/7 and still sin (in her smugness) while it is possible for a woman to work outside the home, doing so unto the Lord and thereby glorifying God.

Scripture teaches us that women with small children (especially speaking, since the command is given to “younger women”) ought to “keep” their homes. (Titus 2:3-5) The responsibility for their upbringing belongs to families, not institutions. This is one reason we bought 54 acres and hope our children build their homes nearby. Raising children is hard on a woman during her childbearing years, and I don’t want my daughters to do it alone. I’m doing it, and it’s not ideal. We need one another.

I almost said that the Bible is “pro-home” and we ought to be too. But really, the Bible is “pro-Jesus” and we shouldn’t lose sight that God’s glory is the point, not keeping a nice little home for its own sake. We ought to spur one another think outside the box, develop communities of support, and bear with one another as we seek to apply a Biblical worldview to the situations we find ourselves in.

I’m not comfortable saying that women working outside the home is always sin, though, it ought not to be so normal. (One day I will tell the story of how we made it on $318 a week for years without going into debt or accepting government aid.) I am comfortable with agreeing with Scripture that women ought to use their energy in keeping their homes.

I didn’t get a chance to weigh in on the subject of having time for “so many children.” I hope to do that next time. ….In the meantime, T-minus 3 1/2 weeks! Yeah, baby!