After I wrote about “being there” for your children, several people wondered how a woman does that when there are “5, 6, 7 of them all needing something. I mean this question with all due respect.” Answer: She gives away the dog.

crazymom

Oh! You wanted a different answer. OK. I’m not making this up. My life is too ironic to have to stretch the truth. So my oldest comes to me out of the blue while my comment box is going hog wild on the subject and says, “I want to be the oldest of 12 children.” I coughed and sputtered at my son since I’m half-dead from carrying this sixth and can’t imagine being only halfway there right now. (You think I’m kidding, but I think it really will be the end of me if I vomit anymore.) But really, they love it. They love their brothers and sisters and don’t want it any other way.

And it’s not like my older ones don’t make the connection. They know that we decline invitations, go home early, and miss out on stuff because we have babies and toddlers that need naps and other such tending. They don’t care. They’re used to giving up for the sake of one another. And that’s a good thing to learn in a country built on consumerism. It also makes you a pleasant person to be around because you know how to think of other people before yourself.

Greg’s side of the family had a mini-reunion at his sister’s wedding last weekend. Greg’s dad is the second of nine children, all of whom are walking with God. Many people tell me, “You just wait. When they grow up, they go their own way and there’s nothing you can do about it.” But I hold onto the fact that these nine out of nine all love God and have served Him as pastors, missionaries, and elders in the Church. In fact, the oldest, Greg’s uncle who turned 75 last weekend, sat me down and said, “I’m glad you’re having a large family. It’s the best. I wouldn’t go back and change a thing. [They grew up poor during the Depression.] I can’t tell you what it means to see young families who love God having children.”

In that moment, I forgot about how very awful I feel. How tired I am. How inadequate I’ve been. Some of you take my jesting lightly, but I really have been vomiting, tired, and/or practically useless to my family these past months. We will see the other side soon, and it will all be worth it.

So, really, how does a woman with several little ones “do” it? I talk to my girls while I brush their hair instead of listening to talk radio. I take my son grocery shopping and split a sub between us at the deli instead of going alone. I fill up their cups so that they are free to pour themselves into one another: my olders reading to the babies, my athletic nine-year-old content with a wild toddler as an afternoon playmate, my five-year-old singing the alphabet to the three-year-old. I give as much as I can and then trust God for the rest.

Baby with the baby