Big cry babies
Sunday, Nov 4, 2007
My toddler whined and cried for the treat in my hand this afternoon. It was lovely. I told him to “stop crying” and only after he did, I gave it to him. If I would’ve given in to him in order to stop his crying (a bribe), he’d be on a fast track to becoming a Holy Terror that none of his siblings would want to play with. I try to stand up against bratty behavior. Which is to say, I’m smart sometimes but incredibly stupid at others.
Some traits are marks of an adult while other things describe children only. Responsibility, patience, and forbearance? These things show our maturity. Impatience and greedy-guts are for whiny children who deserve their just desserts.
The problem with me and my life is that I think I’m a mature adult but sometimes I walk around like a whiny baby. I don’t stomp my feet, throw tantrums, or cry in the middle of the grocery store. I don’t bang on the table and pitch the food I don’t like. I even stopped rolling my eyes like ten years ago.
The thing is, though, that sometimes I give in to my sin. Yet, when I do it in “grown-up” ways or invisible ways, I think that my behavior isn’t as ugly. My family didn’t see it, so maybe God didn’t either. I lie, steal, and covet all under the cover of darkness. Yet when I complain in my heart, I’ve complained with my mouth (which is usually the case anyway). I like it when God is everywhere when I’m afraid, but I’m not so great with it when I’ve sinned.
Part of living a life wholly acceptable and pleasing to God, or doing all things to His glory, is living it first in my heart. But what if you have to do the right thing when your heart is far from it? Part of growing up, as your mama used to say, is doing things we don’t like; sometimes we just have to bite the bullet. But these things are offerings. They beckon us to depend on God to change us. I don’t think it’s dishonest to pray, “Lord, I hate this. Help me to find a way to do it for You.” He is there—watching, waiting, and willing. He is a better parent to two-year-olds than I could ever be.

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Ok, first of all, that picture made me laugh out loud, and my daughter (4 years old) thinks it’s wonderful, too.
Very thought-provoking post as usual, and totally right. I think the hardest thing to pray is ‘Lord, I can’t do this, and I’m totally frustrated on my own. Please help me to change, cause I can’t do it by myself.’
Man, being a grown-up is no fun sometimes!
Comment by Brea (November 4, 2007 @ 6:46 pm )
As we say to our kids: “You get what you get and you don’t throw a fit.”
More often than not, I have to say that to myself, too.
Thanks for keeping it real, Amy.
Comment by Elizabeth (November 4, 2007 @ 7:08 pm )
Ouch! You just had to go and write this on my most ‘complainy’ day in quite a while. I think I need to slink off and engage in a little confession and repentance. Then I need to smile and find joy in the destruction that is my kitchen at the moment!
Comment by Lady Why (November 4, 2007 @ 7:47 pm )
Amy, Amy.
I wish I could give your big ole 9 months pregnant self a hug.
Can I ever relate. My husband will say to me (half-jokingly): your’e such a whiner. Yes, sometimes I am.
Isn’t He just so great with us sinners? I’m so thankful for that.
Comment by Andrea (November 4, 2007 @ 7:53 pm )
I, uh, still roll my eyes.

That’s how wretched I am. Not that this is a ‘wretcheder than thou’ contest…
Comment by Valerie@Consider It Done (November 4, 2007 @ 10:09 pm )
Yes, holiness is measured by what comes out when we are squeezed….. it is so easy to be nice when we are rested, unhormonal, circumstances are good and we feel healthy. It is a different story when any or all of these are not present! Being loving when you just want to whop anyone who looks at you sideways is a big measure of His grace….and an offering, as you so eloquently put it. What I long for is to FEEL like being loving at those times, not just choosing to be, kwim? Change my heart, Father!
Praying for you in these last few days of waiting. You are an inspiration!
Valerie (Oz)
Comment by Valerie (November 4, 2007 @ 10:29 pm )
It’s so hard, isn’t it?! I can really be a whiner on the inside, fretting and stewing about such little things while I look cool and calm on the outside (of course I have many days where I’m running around like a crazed lunatic looking just as nutty on the outside as I feel on the inside!). Argh! I hate it! Thanks for (as Elizabeth said) “keeping it real”! And I have to add that we also say “You get what you get and you don’t throw a fit”…easy to say to my 5 year old, but look in the mirror and say it…sooooo hard! Thanks again!
Hugs,
Carmen
Comment by Carmen (November 4, 2007 @ 10:30 pm )
First, I’ve got to wish you an absolutely awesome labor and birth experience! So happy for you that it’s right around the corner, I know this has been a long 9 months! Hope you figure out the perfect girl name, who knew that about Lydia!?! I’ve always liked that name as well…
Second, what a great post. In fact, I was going to write about the very same thing…sometime…as during my last Bible study with my parents, we were talking about this very thing. We adults are God’s children…and I was thinking of it from the point that in our family, we believe that “delayed obedience is disobedience” (can’t remember which parenting guru I learned that gem from, but it’s sooo true). Flip that around on us as Christians and yikes…that’s convicting to me. What am I blurring into gray, or downright ignoring in my spiritual walk?
Definitely a thought provoking post.
Comment by Mary (November 5, 2007 @ 12:35 am )
Yes, the times I tell my kids that they have the ability to choose to have a happy heart….but just give mommy some time alone because the baby didn’t sleep well last night and I ran out of dishwasher soap and had to do them all by HAND (say it ain’t so), and it isn’t always easy to feel perky when you are pregnant …..blah blah blah.
So I expect these wee ones to have the moral capability and selfcontrol to choose joy when I don’t? Oh sure my ‘reasons’ are better than theirs to be grumpy….but what was that about counting it all joy?
right. Thanks for this. And I hope you enjoy the fruit of your ‘labours’ this week and that you have the strength to “push through” the week, and that you will find great joy in a ‘crowning’ moment this week…
wow. Am I on a roll or what?
Praying for you.
Comment by Barbara (November 5, 2007 @ 8:35 am )
Well said! Thanks for your willingness to be transparent and encourage us to grow up already!
Comment by terry (November 5, 2007 @ 9:26 am )
Wise words, Amy. Randy and I often remind ourselves that we sometimes let ourselves have attitudes and act in ways that we would NEVER allow in our children. God, have mercy! We need to take our own parenting advice and live it out! :o) (ESPECIALLY the no complaining or grumbling part, and do all things (especially those you don’t like) to the glory of God with a cheerful heart!)
Comment by Lisa W. (November 5, 2007 @ 9:29 am )
ok, I’m taking this as a beautiful challenge. Let’s see if I can go one whole day without complaining - at least outwardly. I think I’ll have to be in constant prayer for this so here goes!
Comment by sara (November 5, 2007 @ 10:39 am )
Oh,this soooo spoke to my heart!! We started weight watchers this week and I hate it! But, it’s because I don’t want to give up the things I love {that are bad for me} I need to ask God to help me do this for His Glory!! Please pray for me that I can do that.
Comment by Tracy in Ky (November 5, 2007 @ 12:34 pm )
O.K. I think I have cried in the grocery store. And I sometimes roll my eyes, but just a little : ) But this is so timely. I just asked a friend to pray for me that I would be joyful in all circumstances. Why is this so hard? I have a lot of growing to do. Thanks be to the Lord for his enduring faithfulness!
Comment by Debbie (November 5, 2007 @ 2:53 pm )
So true! It reminds me of a radio interview that I heard with Miriam Heppner, mom of 16 (all biological, no twins). She said something to the effect that as a parent you can play the role of hypocrite really well when the kids are little, but when they are older they will see right through you. I dread the day when my little ones are old enough to say, “Mom, that complaining your doing sounds like whining to us. Time for us to take away YOUR candy bar!”
Comment by Valerie (November 5, 2007 @ 9:35 pm )
Really good post here… but I want to ask a question on another topic. I know your due date is quickly approaching and I look forward to hearing how your birth goes! You are definately in my prayers. Our last births were so similar and neither of us want to go that route again! So my question is, when were your other children due and born? Late, early, right on due date? Just wondering when you will be most likely announcing your “it is time!”
Thanks,
Letisha
Comment by Letisha (November 5, 2007 @ 11:11 pm )
I throw temper tantrums all the time. No one notices…or at least they don’t see any more than mom staring at the ceiling and muttering prayers that aren’t really meant at the time under her breath…but I know God sees.
I’d like to think that I could get credit for at least progressing to that stage, but I know God wants a bit more from me.
And it isn’t like it is huge things. Just little day to day annoyances that break up my plans. Ouch. I don’t like that.
Comment by Dana (November 6, 2007 @ 7:38 am )
One can stop rolling their eyes? Is there a surgical proceedure for that???
Comment by Amy (November 6, 2007 @ 11:52 am )
3 were born on their due dates (with just a little nudging), and 2 were born earlier (both pitocin).
Soooooooooooo….the due date is in two days, but I am not hopeful. I’ve had a ton of prelabor, enough to get things going if it was going to happen. I’m guessing baby is still posterior. My last baby was posterior, and I got tons of tips on this post if anyone needs any.
Valerie, I remember when my oldest was three-years-old and the next one was two. I was always chastising him for goading his sister.
Anyway, the neighbor’s dogs were always going in our yard. They have 3 very large dogs which they allow to run loose to do their business. At the time, we didn’t own a dog, so I resented the mess in our yard that they’d leave. The reason we didn’t own dogs is because I didn’t want to clean up after them. I’d just bought the kids new shoes, and on the way to the car, they stepped in dog piles. I was livid. It wasn’t the first or last time this had happened, and I was fed up.
I cleaned up the kids, buckled them in the car, and I got the shovel. I picked up all ten or so piles and proceeded to fling them across the neighbor’s driveway with gusto. (I DID NOT fling any of our children’s dirty diapers for their yard, so I thought I was actually being kind.)
When I got back into the car, my often chastised to be a peacemaker three-year-old says to be, “Mom, are you antagonizing?“
Comment by Amy Scott (November 6, 2007 @ 12:06 pm )
Today, Amy - Today.
It’s my birthday, so a very good day!
Comment by Holly (November 6, 2007 @ 12:52 pm )
And I think that flinging the piles back into their yard was ingenious.
Not antagonistic, at all! The diapers would have been antagonistic. 
Comment by Holly (November 6, 2007 @ 12:53 pm )
For the record, the diapers were my idea…
Comment by Greg (November 6, 2007 @ 1:45 pm )
We have the same problem with multiple neighbors as well….I too have considered diapers….
Comment by tiffany (November 6, 2007 @ 6:53 pm )
Hee, hee, I can so relate to Dana’s comment about muttering prayers under her breath! For a while my kids thought their names were “Jesus, give me patience”. And I think that flinging diapers is a perfectly reasonable idea.
Comment by Valerie (November 6, 2007 @ 8:49 pm )
It’s this very thing that has caused me to ease up on my children in certain ways. There are so many parenting experts out in Christendom who will tell us if we do ABC, we’ll get XYZ (meaning, children who are practically perfect in every way). I was kind of falling for it for a little while, then one day I realized my own sin. And I realized what I now say frequently … “I’m not raised yet either.” God is still parenting me … and so I should not expect that my children will behave like little adults. I need to graciously, patiently teach them the ways of the Lord. I fall short so many times … but it’s that very falling short that helps me to have more grace on them. Not that they aren’t expected to obey - they most certainly are. But my perspective has changed on seeing them as little people who will have struggles with sin all their lives. No amount of parenting I do will lessen the fact that they will battle their flesh. Can I help? Can I train? Can I do a lot to guide them through it and keep these battles down? Sure. I can. But the truth remains … I am a sinner and they will battle sin as well. A great post, Amy.
brooke
Comment by brooke (November 6, 2007 @ 11:34 pm )
My two year old wore some new shoes for the first time on Friday and stepped in dog poo on the sidewalk about 20 feet outside our door. On the sidewalk! And we live in an apartment complex with free dog poo bags posted at convenient intervals AND signs warning dog owners that they will be fined exorbitant sums if they don’t pick up after their dogs. As I was digging the poo out of the soles (which, maddeningly, have this tiny checkerboard groove pattern on them) with a sharp pencil I grumbled and grumbled and made plans to lurk around and start taking pictures of the offenders and sending them to the office with a note: “I DEMAND THAT YOU FINE THIS NE’ER DO WELL!” If this elaborate scheme falls through, diaper flinging it will have to be.
Comment by Patti (November 6, 2007 @ 11:56 pm )
Hello Amy,
What a great post! It is sickening how many times I feel like throwing a temper tantrum and it truely takes the strength of the Lord to keep me from not carrying on like a two year old. Thanks for sharing,
Trixie
Comment by trixie (November 8, 2007 @ 7:00 am )