Saturday afternoon observations
Sunday, Jan 6, 2008
I found myself at the mall spending a gift card yesterday, sans kids. I bought a feather mattress, which was really fake fiber feathers, because I’m allergic to all things that harbor dust mites. After I made my purchase, I checked out the clearance racks. All the shirts looked like they were pulled from my maternity wardrobe. Why didn’t I get the memo? All this time, I’m wondering why everyone looks pregnant. I can just keep wearing my maternity clothes. I don’t have to suck it in and squeeze into my old clothes. Sometimes life is fair.
There was a very elderly couple also shopping at Macy’s. The reason I noticed is because the wife was taking her time looking through the clearance racks, and the old man was whistling happily. I’ve never seen that before. Usually the husband is slouched in a chair outside the dressing room on the verge of snoring. But he was happy, whistling like he was on his way to a football game. I knew he was a good grandfather, the kind that wrestles on the floor and tells scary stories by the fire.
Leaving the department store, I sat on a bench and watched the matinee crowd buy their movie tickets. There was the anorexic teenager waiting for her friend–a girl in a woman’s body, without a father in her life no doubt. There was the grandmother with five rambunctious boys. She whooped their tails, even though the security cameras were rolling. Then there was a herd of male adolescents intent on establishing the pecking order in their pack. They kicked and punched one another, and I moved out of the way so I wouldn’t get hit. They swore and cursed while chasing one another down. If they knew words like “the”, “and”, or “chili pepper” nobody knew it.
I turned my attention to a young family in the food court. I watched them while they ate Chick-fil-A for an early dinner. They had two little girls about a year apart, Irish twins. The mom looked a little frazzled (which I’m sure they were thinking about me too). Dad was young, sporting a goatee and baggy clothes. What a good dad I saw. He made airplane sounds and twirled his daughter as he placed her in the double stroller. He kissed her and tousled her hair too roughly for a mom’s taste, but just as a dad should do. If this young couple’s marriage weathers the stress of raising children in this crazy world, I have a feeling that their teenage girls won’t be dressed as prostitutes outside a movie theater on a Saturday afternoon. Dad is there. There are other factors, to be sure, but a girl needs her daddy.
I watched as more life went by. As I imagined their stories, I knew that I was spot on in some cases and way off in others. (There was a teenage boy walking with his mom and not a bit ashamed of it. I knew he did well in school.) I pondered their lives and my own, thinking about what C.S. Lewis observed once, “Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important.”
Life goes by for them and for me. When it got cold earlier this week, we built a fire and roasted marshmallows. When we were tired, we got into cozy beds. When we were hungry, we ate. When we were a little dirty from not much work, we took hot showers. All these things are gifts from the same God who provided abundantly for His people in a wilderness thousands of years ago. They forgot Him though and complained about their boring provisions.
I am like them. I am inclined to give thanks with my mouth while complaining about my lot in my heart. I am prone to treat my Christianity with moderate importance. I am just another person in the crowd at the mall, busy with unimportant things. I close my eyes during family devotions. While my children thank Jesus for dying on the cross, I think about the clothes that need to be switched from the washer to the dryer.
The hustle and bustle of life goes by. God is King and we are His children. This is no boring thing. While we thank Him for our daily bread, I’m reminded to ask for more love, more devotion to Him.
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Best post I’ve read–anywhere–in a long while!
Comment by Grafted Branch@Restoring the Years (January 6, 2008 @ 12:46 pm )
Beautifully said. Brought tears to my eyes and conviction to my heart.
Robin
Comment by robin (January 6, 2008 @ 1:42 pm )
Oh, that such a nice post! Thanks!
Comment by Lauren (January 6, 2008 @ 2:06 pm )
This is my favourite.
I think I’ll go cry.
Comment by Shannon (January 6, 2008 @ 2:08 pm )
Amy,
Wow, I love this post… Thanks so much for your honesty and convictions. I’ve been in a “luke warm” phase here for a while myself and am asking God to do the same — to give me more love & devotion to Him
Comment by Marcy (January 6, 2008 @ 4:02 pm )
Okay how did you know I’ve been griping in my heart about several days of extra children, mountains of laundry, and a 2yo who eats lip gloss and smears toothpaste on walls whenever my back is turned? I had already been convicted about my self-focus and this adds fuel to that holy fire. Thanks so much for this post–may God help us.
Comment by Charlotte (January 6, 2008 @ 4:49 pm )
All I can say is, “Thank you!”
Comment by Sheila (January 6, 2008 @ 5:52 pm )
Great post Amy. Those are reminders we all need. I too wonder about a girl’s Daddy when I see them on the street. It is so sad.
Comment by Marci (January 6, 2008 @ 6:33 pm )
Thank you Amy for such beautiful reflection and observations - I find myself doing the same thing quite often. Hm, and lately I’ve been very thankful that the fashion seems to match my maternity wardrobe, too!
God Bless you!
Comment by Kate (January 6, 2008 @ 8:38 pm )
So good, Amy. Agreeing like everyone else.
Comment by Andrea (January 6, 2008 @ 9:18 pm )
Thank you for such an important reminder!
Regarding those stylish clothes out there these days…my baby is 2 1/2 years old, and I recently went shopping. Feeling all hip and “with it”, I bought one of those fashionable shirts. I felt young and girlish putting it on…you know, because all of the young people are wearing them these days. So I put it on and walked out to the kitchen. My 7-year-old took a quick, sideways glance at me. “You look pregnant, Mom.” And then back to whatever it was she was doing.
Comment by Katy (January 6, 2008 @ 10:16 pm )
What a wonderful post Amy. Thank you so much!!!
Comment by Shanna (January 6, 2008 @ 11:09 pm )
Well I’m off to cry too! This was such a beautiful post. You really have a way of writing. Thank you, your blog is such a blessing to read. I agree with grafted branch, it’s the best post I’ve read ~anywhere~ in a long time.
Comment by Allison (January 6, 2008 @ 11:40 pm )
I hesitated about commenting on this post because I don’t want to come across as a party-pooper. But I know so many women who are anorexic, or overly sexualised, or have any number of other problems, because they had bad fathers. I also know girls without fathers who are amazing, confident, happy, and bound for wonderful futures - my own daughter included!
I understand where you were coming from, and I love your spirit, but ultimately I felt compelled to put in a word for anyone reading this who may have wished Daddy had *not* been in her life. Or any woman who is raising her daughter alone. Or any daughter without a dad.
And yet I must add, thank god for the good dads!
I hope you don’t mind my comment.
Comment by patience (January 7, 2008 @ 12:35 am )
I had a major pity party for myself last night. It involved your garden variety wailing and gnashing of teeth. You know the kind - nobody helps me, nobody cares, etc…
Then I went to worship this morning -still nursing my bruised, emotional egos self- and what do you think happened. We sang hymns like All Hail the Power of Jesus’ Name, Praise to the Lord, the Almighty and Rejoice, Ye People.
I got over myself in a hurry. Great post.
Comment by Michelle (January 7, 2008 @ 1:20 am )
Okay, okay, so how did you know I needed to hear this??
I’m trying to learn to quickly get over myself. Not so easy to do.
Comment by Kelly (January 7, 2008 @ 8:26 am )
You are so right, Amy: Life is no boring thing. You are also very observant and imaginative. I enjoy watching people when I am out and about. It always astounds me to think that while I observe and imagine, God KNOWS. Everything. About all of them. Including me.
Humbling, ain’t it?
Anyway, on the topic of being observant, pop over to my blog if you get a chance, to see what my five year old granddaughter had to say just yesterday.
In Christ,
Janet
Comment by Janet (January 7, 2008 @ 8:35 am )
Way to beat me up with a wet noodle first thing in the morning. And, I haven’t even had my morning coffee yet.
Comment by Lady Why (January 7, 2008 @ 8:52 am )
That post is making me weepy! Where is our passion! Thank God for the power of His spirit wich gives us love for our dear Saviour and trust for our Father. Oh too love Him more faithfully! One day we will for eternity! :O)
Comment by mel (January 7, 2008 @ 2:05 pm )
Hi there-I’ve been a lurker for quite a while and love reading your posts. I’m a junior high English teacher, and my 7th graders are starting to work on personal narratives. I read this post to them today as an example of excellent, descriptive personal writing. They were mesmerized.
I just thought you’d want to know.
Comment by Katie (January 7, 2008 @ 4:24 pm )
Good post to read after seeing OSU loose the BCS 2 years in a row.There is more to life then football.
Comment by Tammy (January 8, 2008 @ 7:52 am )
I have to agree with comment #14…I know many wonderful women who were raised without fathers, as well as many wonderful fathers who have daughters that have been a huge disappointment. I can’t help but sense judgement in your post about the “anorexic teenager without a father, no doubt”…We never know what others come home to or what their lives are like, nor is it our place to judge. Do you have any single mothers who read your blog? Probably, and I am sure that they feel even less qualified to be raising a child than they did before they read your post.
Comment by kate (January 8, 2008 @ 10:36 am )
Kate, My post presupposed that the father was descent. I wasn’t making a judgment but a generalization. I often write in generalizations because it’d take forever to say everything about everything (and then I’d really be saying nothing).
You two need to get out more.
(Sorry, couldn’t resist.)
Comment by Amy Scott (January 8, 2008 @ 11:28 am )
Dear Kate (again),
My most recent post about generalizations is intended in good fun. I appreciate, truly, when people call me on the carpet. I need it. I am not perfect, and I often miss the mark. Please keep doing it.
Comment by Amy Scott (January 8, 2008 @ 12:21 pm )
Amy,
This is beautiful. I also get your generalization, and that you were basing your “presupposition” on something the “experts” tell us is true.
Keep writing!
Comment by Amy (January 8, 2008 @ 3:28 pm )
Your comment about needing to get out more? Let’s see…I am the mother of three daughters who are ages 4, 9 and 11. I work full-time as a Labor and Delivery RN in a large metro area hospital and I am married to a Pastor in a large Lutheran church. My children attend our Lutheran day school and I am active in their school and extra-curricular activities. How much more would you like me to get out? In my 13 years as an RN, I have seen pretty much EVERYTHING that would be considered different, in many definitions of the word. I have sat for many years in the pew while my husband has preached the word and touched people in many stages of life. I differ with your suggestion of getting out more. Thanks, anyway.
Comment by kate (January 8, 2008 @ 5:26 pm )
Dear Kate,
My comment about getting out more was to Grafted Branch and Allison, who both said that it was the best post they’d read anywhere. (Obviously, they don’t get around much, right?) It was a self-deprecating comment. Just a friendly joke.
Comment by Amy Scott (January 8, 2008 @ 7:35 pm )
I am with you guys on the new shirts. My 7 yo ALSO asked me if I was having another baby when I was wearing what I thought was a new stylin shirt, just like Katy in #11. Go figure. My husband dropped me off at the Gap to spend some Christmas money I’d rec’d from Grandma and I came back out and told him I didn’t need anything new b/c apparently maternity shirts are in style for the spring. Yay!!
Comment by Emily (January 8, 2008 @ 9:57 pm )
So the comment about needing to get out more was directed at me and grafted branch?! That hurts Amy, it REALLY hurts…I give you a compliment and in return I get ridiculed? Now MY feathers are in a bunch…and I DIDN”T EVEN MIND you writing in generalizations! I liked the post, obviously to you, I like it too much. You could have kept writing in genratlizations(it would have been nice when it came to your comment about me, the one who previously was so moved by this post, rather then singling me out for needing to get out more. I know you said it was self depreciating, but as you saw, Kate didn’t really like it either.
I do forgive you though, only because Jesus lives in my heart and we’re family.(In Him)(aint cha glad?)
Comment by Allison (January 9, 2008 @ 2:40 am )
I just had a baby on December 7th, and noticed the new maternity-style shirts, too! I’m paranoid that everyone will think I’m still wearing my maternity clothes - the “big girl” paranoia, ya know.
Love,
Becca
Comment by Becca (January 10, 2008 @ 1:24 am )
Amy~
Was led here by a link and am so glad. This touched me deeply, as a simple and profound reminder that amidst all the business of life, it is our hope and faith in Jesus Christ that should define us. You’re right, we should be thinking of Him as we come and go in our daily lives, remembering that all the seemingly trivial and mundane things that make up our days (homes, heat, food, family etc…) are such abundant blessings from Him.
I love your style of writing, and the way it draws the reader in and truly makes you think. I understand your generalizations and don’t think you were making a judgment on anyone, rather an accurate reflection of the society that we live in. My husband is a high school principal, and the hurting kids he sees break his heart daily. Very often it is the lack of a father’s presence - physically or even just emotionally- in the home that is damaging these kids. Of course there are many wonderful girls who have no father, and are truly better off without them, but that is the exception rather than the rule.
Keep writing from your heart- and know that whenever we are glorifiying God, s*tan is displeased and will attempt to stir up strife.
Comment by Kelly (January 10, 2008 @ 8:57 am )
People, please…some of us need to be a little less sensitive apparently. She just made a general comment. She wasn’t trying to be specific about that specific girl. You don’t have to jump all over her. :^)
Comment by Karen (January 16, 2008 @ 3:23 pm )
Thank you Jesus for this post. Thank you for the internet so that I can feel your touch and read and learn beautiful and important things. Amen!
Comment by Ashley (February 4, 2008 @ 9:58 am )