Why I write in generalizations
Tuesday, Jan 8, 2008
The following post is not for the humor impaired. Please be warned. I love you all. (Well, mostly. If Osama is reading this, you are not included.)
Chocolate ice cream is an excellent dessert.
Of course, if you’re lactose intolerant, you might disagree about the excellence of chocolate ice cream and that is OK. Please write me an email about it. There are other excellent dessert choices for you. For example, there is All American Flag Dessert, Almond Cream, Almond Cream Filling for Cream Puffs, Almond Crunch Pudding, Almond Delights, Almond Ice Cream Cups, Almond Joy Dessert, Almond Lemon Tart, Amaretto Chocolate Pudding, Amaretto Mousse, Amaretto Torte, and Ambrosia Congealed Salad.
If the Ambrosia Congealed Salad isn’t your fancy, you can always try Ambrosia Salad #2, Ambrosia Salad #3, Ambrosia Salad #4, Ambrosia Salad #5, Ambrosia Salad #6, or Ambrosia Salad #7.
Moving on, there is also Angel Chocolate Parfait, Apple Brown Betty, Apple Buttered Rum Pudding with Apple Topping, Apple Butterscotch Tart, Apple Cobbler, Apple Cranberry Napoleans, Apple Cream Cheese Tort, Apple Crisp, Apple Crisp Parfaits, Apple Delight, Apple Dessert - Country, Apple Dumplings, Apple Dumplings #2, Apple Enchiladas, Apple-Gingerbread Cobbler-MW, Apple Macaroon Dessert, Apple-Nut Dessert, Apple Pan Dowdy, Apple-Pear Crisp, Apple Pie Parfait, Apple Pizza, Apple Rolls, Apple Snicker Salad, Apple Streusel, Apple Torte, Apple Turnovers, Applesauce Cream Cheese Salad, Applesauce Yogurt Dessert, Apricot Cheese Kugel, Apricot Coconut Balls, Apricot Salad, Apricot Turnovers, or Aquarium Jello …
There are many excellent dessert choices. I will begin with the B’s tomorrow. I was just saying that chocolate ice cream, in particular, is also excellent. There really are others that could be as well. I really just mean that chocolate ice cream is also excellent. I’m sorry to all the vanilla lovers. That could be your favorite, most excellent choice. It is not my intention to hurt you. Please accept my apologies. I like vanilla too. Chocolate is just… well… also excellent. However, if you have a cold-sensitive tooth or if you are on a diet, chocolate ice cream is not an excellent choice for you. Maybe you are caffeine sensitive, and there is caffeine in chocolate. You should be aware of that. There are other factors that might make this a bad choice for you. Please see your doctor, psychiatrist, or spiritual advisor for more information. I am not legally responsible for the statement, “Chocolate ice cream is an excellent dessert.” I mean, it might not be.
I often write in generalizations without qualifying everything because it is the better way to write. (That is a fact, not a generalization.) There is a risk of saying too much all the time. Why is that? One risks saying nothing at all. I try not to do that. That is bad. Of course, sometimes I fail in that regard, like the time….
45 Comments
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Hehehe, I love your humor, Amy. I think you must be my long lost sister.
Thanks for making my day.
Comment by Kelly (January 8, 2008 @ 12:21 pm )
I want to reiterate: I appreciate, truly, when people call me on the carpet. I need it. I am not perfect, and I often miss the mark. Please keep doing it. I don’t mean to excuse when I’m wrong under the cloak of saying everything is a generalization. That’s not what I’m saying.
I’ve wanted to write this post ever since I began blogging. It only took me 10 minutes, so I wish I did it sooner.
(Thanks, Kelly.)
Comment by Amy Scott (January 8, 2008 @ 12:25 pm )
What? Not love Osama? Does the word not say to bless those who curse you, bless and do not curse.”? And “love your enemies”?
couldn’t resist.
Wow. I sure hope you got to cut and paste that alphabetical dessert list, rather than type it all up…makes me antsy just reading it.
Comment by Roberta (January 8, 2008 @ 12:40 pm )
Doh! Got me.
Viva la Google!
Comment by Amy Scott (January 8, 2008 @ 12:45 pm )
Amy, Thanks for the link to the Tim Hawkins website. He and his wife are old friends of our…so old we’ve lost contact with them. In fact Kent officiated their wedding.
Comment by Laurie (January 8, 2008 @ 12:46 pm )
LOL! Seriously, yesterday when there was the “but some girls DON’T need their fathers” comment I was like: OH GAG ME WITH A LIST OF RIDICULOUS EXCEPTIONS!!
I mean, what’s a blogger to do? End every post with a laundry list of caveats, exceptions to the rule, disclaimers, etc. etc?
I don’t know, it’s tough being a blogger b/c there will ALWAYS be that someone who wants you to know that ________(fill in the blank) doesn’t apply to them and could you please be a little more open-minded?
All this to say: Amy, we love you precisely because you DO have an opinion.
As I say to my kids: hey, you get what you get and you don’t throw a fit.
Blog on, baby, blog on.
Comment by Elizabeth (January 8, 2008 @ 1:47 pm )
*gasp*
I just can’t believe you would even *suggest* that we eat rum pudding…for shame!!!
Comment by Andrea (January 8, 2008 @ 2:10 pm )
Dear Amy, I loved your post which included the thought that girls needed their fathers. I’m sorry if my adding a different perspective offended you or others. People have such diverse ideas about weblogging and what is acceptable for comments - about whether discussion including other opinions is okay or not. It can be easy for a commenter, especially a lurker, to make the wrong call. So my apologies. I would have emailled you about this but you have no email address available on your weblog that I can see. Best wishes.
Comment by patience (January 8, 2008 @ 2:48 pm )
Yep. Good post. I’m tired of having to say I MEAN. lol
When I think of how much I’d like to write a book, I then think–why? I’d have to fill it with a bunch of superfluous words to make sure my point is read, and then still everyone would be upset by what they thought I meant.
Comment by Lyn (January 8, 2008 @ 2:49 pm )
A fine post, Amy, but what about all those poor diabetics?
I love reading your opinions, by the way…perhaps because I tend to agree with you, except when it comes to that paedobaptist part. There will always be something, I suppose.
Comment by Lisa (January 8, 2008 @ 2:51 pm )
Dear Patience,
You didn’t offend me; I thought you wrote a very nice comment. I don’t delete or moderate comments (except for posts that contain profanity). Feel free to chime in whenever. If you want to email me, use the contact form at the top of the page!
Andrea, Rum pudding is the dessert of choice for mothers of small children.
Elizabeth, Now you don’t hold strong opinions yourself, do you. (Question mark not overlooked.)
Comment by Amy Scott (January 8, 2008 @ 2:56 pm )
Dear Lisa,
I used to be a credo too, so there is hope for you.
(Running and ducking.)
Comment by Amy Scott (January 8, 2008 @ 2:57 pm )
“I often write in generalizations without qualifying everything because it is the better way to write.”
A hearty um hmmm.
Comment by Kendra (January 8, 2008 @ 3:13 pm )
Like Elizabeth said…”blog on, baby, blog on”!
Hugs,
Carmen
Comment by Carmen (January 8, 2008 @ 3:43 pm )
Osama? Didn’t you mean Obama??!!
In regard to your point on generalizations, I was speaking once at a homeschooling conference on habits and discipline in children. Afterwards I was mauled (OK, maybe not mauled)by women in tears… in TEARS, I tell you… giving me all the reasons why my remarks did not apply to them.
“My child has ADHD”
“My child has autism”
“My child is allergic to peanuts” etc. etc. etc.
After listening to them as compassionately as I could, I told each one of them, “Then what I said didn’t apply to you.”
One mother told me that I should then stress that from the podium the next time I give a lecture. I chuckled to myself as I thought about myself saying, “When in the grocery store line and your child is throwing a screamy-meme temper tantrum over a Kit Kat bar, you should not give in and buy it for him… unless he has ADHD, is autistic, or is allergic to peanuts.”
Hmmmm.
Comment by Lady Why (January 8, 2008 @ 3:57 pm )
heh.heh. well, i wear my Favorite Frequent Heckler badge w/ pride.
Comment by Elizabeth (January 8, 2008 @ 4:13 pm )
ROFL! that was great:):):)
Comment by tonya (January 8, 2008 @ 4:53 pm )
Amy’s feeling better!! The sense of humor is back! Got a great chuckle out of this. Keep it up
!
Comment by Another Heather (January 8, 2008 @ 4:57 pm )
Amy,
I love to read your blog! You are an encouragement when there is not much adult conversation! (hsing 5 children 8 and under) But I must beg no B’s please!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you for your humor and your very touching post on people watching. God knew i needed those words.
Comment by April Pierrotti (January 8, 2008 @ 5:30 pm )
I most often read and not comment….yes I know, bad blogging etiquette. I hold my head in shame…. well not really :o)
I appreciate your point and how you made it. People can be so easily offended, in my opinion when you think too highly of yourself other peoples opinions and observations are bothersome.
Anyway just my 2cents.
I find myself trying to be almost too careful in my own blog posts. Maybe I should stop that and create a link to your post as a disclaimer. hehe
Comment by Sandi (January 8, 2008 @ 5:49 pm )
OHHHH my gosh, Amy
…. I sit here laughing my head off. I tell you why.
Just before going to bed, my boys found a HUGE bag of candy in the bottom of the snack basket. It was the one with all the junk candy we collected from the parades throughout the year. The kids all had dental check-ups today and of course got the spiel about sugar and such. The bigger boys, still able to taste the remains of fluoride treatments and polishing goop, had decided to get rid of the evil by ceremonially dumping all the candy in the trash.
My little guy (7) came in and cried (and I quote!!!): “But Mom, every house needs a little bit of junk food.” If you were closer, I sent him to your house in knowing he would be loved!
Thanks for your site! You crack me up, when the world cracks down on me!
Heidi in WI
Comment by Heidi in WI (January 8, 2008 @ 10:21 pm )
I was just talking back to a deaf television showing a politician making a speech using generalization after generalization when my dh so wisely told me to go read Amy’s blog. Thank you for your wise words as always.
Mrs. MDM
Comment by MrsMDM (January 8, 2008 @ 11:05 pm )
Dearest Amy,
I appreciate your honesty and your willingness to “say it” without qualifiers; I think that’s why I keep coming back. I loved so much about your previous post, but, as a young woman with a father who was absent, it was hurtful.
I understand that my situation was not ideal (in the deepest recesses of my broken heart), but I also believe in grace and in healing. I don’t believe my absent-father is an excuse for living a life that is less than beautiful, nor should it be an excuse or an explanation for any other person.
I understand that you were making a generalization, but it burned those of us who are living daily with the consequences of our fathers’ sin. We’re doing our very best.
At least those in the church have the benefit of being a part of a greater family. I hope you all have embraced the opportunities to take care of the orphans with living fathers in your churches.
Comment by sherry (January 8, 2008 @ 11:29 pm )
I agree. I think chocolate ice cream is an excellent dessert.
And I’m lactose intolerant.
Comment by Michelle (January 8, 2008 @ 11:39 pm )
At my college, the brand-new chaplain tried so hard to qualify everything he said in chapel (the Bible profs were a tough audience) that it became a big joke to imitate him. It really is funny when you take it to an extreme!
(I am so grateful that I learned the word “caveat” from him. Just sayin’.)
–Jeanne
Comment by At A Hen's Pace (January 8, 2008 @ 11:47 pm )
You know I love it, Amy!
Comment by Cindy (January 9, 2008 @ 8:59 am )
Dear Sherry,
I am sorry that I hurt you. Please forgive me. I also know what it’s like to grow up with tormoil and an absent father. I wasn’t out to beat us down. The odds were stacked me too, but I went on to live a God-honoring (hopefully) life. It can be done.
Comment by Amy Scott (January 9, 2008 @ 9:29 am )
Can I just say that this little back and forth you have experienced is one reason I’m glad for a small readership…I’m seriously not clever or kind enough to make things right like you do. (stick with the baby pictures…they seem to go over real well!)
Love your insights (and humility) as always.
Comment by Barbara (January 9, 2008 @ 9:53 am )
I, too, grew up with an absent father. BUT…I totally got what you were saying. Children NEED fathers…and the consequences of not having them are often exactly what you described. That doesn’t mean that it is ALWAYS that way…it wasn’t for me. But I don’t see how anyone can say that it doesn’t happen a lot. Enough so that it is very easy to generalize. I look at it as a “There but for the grace of God, go I” situation, honestly…and I wasn’t offended in the least. :o)
Comment by Leigh (January 9, 2008 @ 11:11 am )
Ah yes. Great post, Amy. Wish I’d a written it…I just get beaten down, instead!
Bad childhood here, too….not offended at all. Shook my head in agreement the entire way!
Comment by Holly (January 9, 2008 @ 11:52 am )
I think that when someone like Amy makes a statement about girls needing their fathers, she is not judging girls who do not have fathers; if she is judging anyone, it is the fathers who desert their daughters. And honestly, they are cads, selfish and irresponsible, and they should be ashamed, heartily ashamed, of what they have done.
Half the reason this country is in the predicament that it is in concerning divorce and unwed mothers and broken families is because someone somewhere got the idea that to criticize the sin is tantamount to criticizing the children who are victims of the sin (???). Where does such a thought process come from? (What if we said, “Oh, don’t call murder a terrible crime. It will make the families of murder victims feel so bad about themselves…”)
But there you have it. Kids feel bad about themselves if you say anything about the kind of family they grew up in. So we cannot say anything about how bad it is for parents to make destructive choices for their families, and thus the destructive choices are legitimized. In many cases, because the sins of the fathers are never pointed out, children grow up thinking that this is the normal way to live; they are often robbed of any hope or dream for something better. And unless something (or Someone) breaks the chain, the conditions for the children grow cumulatively worse.
Comment by ruth (January 9, 2008 @ 1:39 pm )
I am de-lurking to tell you how much I have enjoyed your blog the last couple years. Your blog is very encouraging and inspiring…and has given me so many smiles. Thanks for sharing your observations on motherhood with us!
Comment by Dana (January 9, 2008 @ 4:52 pm )
One of my favorite people, Dennis Prager, commonly says “Generalizations are the mother of wisdom”.
Not all generalizations are correct, but wisdom is recognizing patterns in life.
Comment by christina (January 9, 2008 @ 6:41 pm )
Beautiful! History repeats itself and all that…
Comment by Amy Scott (January 9, 2008 @ 9:27 pm )
I think you hit the nail on the head, Ruth. Very clearly articulated. I so enjoy reading the comments as much as Amy’s posts.
Comment by Another Heather (January 10, 2008 @ 11:24 am )
Ruth, that is so well said and thought out.
Comment by sara (January 10, 2008 @ 12:24 pm )
hear, hear, ruth.
Comment by Elizabeth (January 10, 2008 @ 4:34 pm )
Ahhh, Amy, you make me laugh.
From a fellow blogger, preach it, sister!
I loved it, thanks. And may I add that chocolate ice cream is indeed an excellent dessert.
Comment by Stephanie (January 10, 2008 @ 5:02 pm )
Amy,
I’m not sure what you mean by “better way to write”
…
To God be all glory,
Lisa of Longbourn
Comment by Lisa (January 10, 2008 @ 11:18 pm )
AMEN
Comment by MEG (January 15, 2008 @ 4:26 pm )
I LOVE IT.
It is really disheartening for me when I write an article about marriage and then someone points out that “well not all of us are lucky enough to BE married.” (ha-rumph!… you can almost hear the footsteps stomping away).
Or you write about sexual intimacy and then, “well, what if your husband is into ______ or he is abusive??! WHAT THEN, HUH? HUH? HUH????”
Yes, we all, if we’re going to say anything, have to resort to generalizations in order to make our points pithy.
Thanks for this fun and truthful post.
~Jess
Comment by Jess @ Making Home (January 22, 2008 @ 2:02 pm )
Regarding this entire discussion about girls and their fathers.
I grew up with a not-so-godly father (to put it mildly) and I must say I had a lot of issues (as a result of my sins, not because of my father. the lack of fatherly guidance did not train me away from my sin).
Your observation about how girls need good fathers was a source of encouragement and hope to me. If it is in the Lord’s will that I marry, I can hope to have a Christ centered family with a father who will be involved in his daughters’ lives to raise them with love and care.
The Lord has been truly gracious to change me and with His gracious hand purify me from my sin.
I’ve been reading your blog for a while =) and even with all the craziness that you write about, you have made me excited and hopeful for motherhood. So thank you.
could you write more about being a wife? i’d love to read more about that mystery. =)
Comment by Jennifer Lee (February 3, 2008 @ 8:32 pm )
[...] mentioned Amy’s chocolate ice cream post, where Amy explains why generalizations don’t always apply to every situation, but Caroline [...]
Pingback by Life In a Shoe » Quiverfull clarifications (February 24, 2008 @ 8:27 pm )
[...] mentioned Amy’s chocolate ice cream post, where Amy explains why generalizations don’t always apply to every situation, but Caroline [...]
Pingback by Life In a Shoe » Quiverfull clarifications (February 24, 2008 @ 8:27 pm )
I agree with you… Chocolate ice cream is an excellent dessert. It may not be an excellent choice for me on certain situations, but nevertheless, this generalization is one that I definitely would agree to anytime, any day! Great blog!
Comment by Lewis Bae (May 18, 2008 @ 11:27 am )