Life with three under three: #8
Wednesday, Jan 30, 2008
Hellooooo out there. My blog is not dead, it just pretends to be. Who knew that six would be the number that could sink me? Hypothetically, of course. Not four, not five, but…six. A favorite line of mine from Elisabeth Elliot’s mother goes like this, “If one child takes up all your time, six can’t take any more!”
I’m a busy lady. Now, when folks say, “You have your hands full!” I don’t chirp a sweet little, “And my heart is full too!” No, instead I say, “You better believe it. Holy smokes. Do I have spit-up on my back? Can you check for me?” I will calm down soon, just give me some space to work this out.
I made a promise to myself on behalf of all the women raising children behind me, and that was this: I won’t forget. When I found myself drowning when I had three under three, I told myself that I wouldn’t forget how it feels: how hard it is, how alone I felt, how inadequate I felt, how tired I was. Now I have three under three again, but this time I have to teach long division somehow in the midst of it. I can’t just bunk out on the couch with Mr. Rogers.
It would be easy to pat a mama with two toddlers on the head and say, “Well, at least you don’t have my load.” But that would be forgetting. I remember when I had two children. They were 19 months old and a newborn. My newborn had real, genuine colic. One day I told a mother of five about how my baby cried whenever her eyes opened. Colic Child was sleeping in her car seat, and as if on cue, after I finished the sentence, she opened her eyes and screamed. I wanted to cry too. But what my friend told me instead was, “Well, just wait until you start homeschooling. Then it will be hard.”
I’m like, what if they don’t make it to kindergarten? What if I sell them on the black market?! What if I’m in a mental institution and can’t homeschool their whiny little selves? What if I die from exhaustion? What if my brain flips out and I start singing the Barney Clean Up song without stopping? I’ve seen movies about people like this you know.
I made it through that road with God’s help. I grew. I learned. I changed. I’m not who I was before. I’m not as selfish, not as impatient. With this next batch of three under three, I see that I still have so far to go to be like Jesus. But by His grace, I will learn to be more like Him and we won’t just survive this thing, we’ll thrive.
Life with three under three, #1
Life with three under three, #2
Life with three under three, #3
Life with three under three, #4
Life with three under three, #5
Life with three under three, #6
Life with three under three, #7

75 Comments
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I am so glad you posted this. I think too many times Christian woman feel like they need to be super moms, putting on a cheerful face for the Lord and all. We all walk around thinking “geesh I must be the only one having a hard time with this” If we all were more honest we could support each other and admit that it is hard but you will survive.
I read your blog all the time and it sounds to me like you are a great mom even if you do start singing Barney over and over.
Comment by Dawn (January 30, 2008 @ 9:57 am )
Such beautiful girls! Surely you’re not giving yourself enough credit. Two matching outfits with hats no less and you were able to find a camera! My sons have matching sweaters but it’s extremely rare that all 5 sweaters are clean and can be found before church.
Thanks for keeping us updated, I have #6 on the way and you are such an encouragement to me.
Comment by Dene (January 30, 2008 @ 10:21 am )
hi, liked this entry today…a LOT! it applies to everyone in every stage of life. i finally realized that not only do the uncaring comments you referred to show that a person doesn’t “remember”. it also shows a basic focus on themselves…or in case myself, when i make that kind of comment.
i have found that it is helpful to stop and remember how if felt with that first child (when i had no experience to look back on, when i didn’t realize that certain stages DON’T last forever, etc.) and give a kind and encouraging word. right now, that poor mother feels like she is drowning. she doesn’t need to hear my problems.
it is part of what titus talks about when he talks about older women teaching younger women…or Paul when he tells us to “build up” one another…or when he talks in philippians 2 about having the same mind Christ did. He was God, but did not consider equality with God something to be grasped. instead, He made Himself nothing…taking the form of a servant!! even to the point of death on a cross.
now that is a passage that always is a challenge in my relationships with others…especially women. over time, i have learned NOT to tell birth horror stories to pregnant mothers…especially 1st timers…as an act of love and encouragement. to find ways to encourage new mothers for what they are doing right and suggest other options for them to consider that might work (as in treating them like adults and not children so they can work out what works best for their marriage and style) and generally treating them with honor and respect as human beings.
the pain of not always being on the receiving end of these things has caused me to be “weird”ly adamant about the importance of giving them to others. even tho’ i am in my early 60’s, i am surprised to have so many friends who are so much younger than i that i have collected over the years wherever we have lived. they are a treasure:)
i have also found that giving this kind of love in a church (or anywhere) is contagious just as the critical, selfish attitudes are. others catch on to it and people are attracted to it. m
Comment by martha10 (January 30, 2008 @ 10:30 am )
Bless your heart! I have no idea what it’s like to be a mother to 6 young children. But I have 2 young ones and I am often overwhelmed. Thank you for not minimizing and not “forgetting” how demanding even a few children can be! I enjoy your stories, please keep sharing. We are all in Motherhood together!
Comment by Melissa (January 30, 2008 @ 10:34 am )
I’m sure I should say something about that post but I just can’t get over how *cute* your girls are! And I love their dresses.
Bless you and yours, Amy.
~Stacy
Comment by Stacy (January 30, 2008 @ 10:53 am )
I have an idea . . . I am one . . . I feel the same way . . . and I too can say, the Lord has been and is with me all the way . . . That is not to say I don’t have my “moment’s” but I thrive JUST BECAUSE GOD IS WITH ME!!! - aimee.astitch.biz
Comment by aimee (January 30, 2008 @ 10:54 am )
I’m glad you started the 3 under 3 series before you had 3 under 3 again…have you read through your old posts? I’m sure you have time for that kind of thing, right? But hey, there’s some good stuff in there that could be a help and encouragement to you, in case you’ve forgotten now that you’re overwhelmed again. I’ve promised myself not to forget that they’re here if I’m ever in 3 under 3 mode! Hang in there!
Comment by Lisa (January 30, 2008 @ 11:15 am )
Thank you so much for that. I “only” have one right now, but have found myself thinking some of the same thoughts. I told my husband it’s like I have 2 brains - one that is logical and biblical, and the other that fears that I will indeed need to be locked up. In the crazy house. So thank you for your post today.
Comment by Jenny (January 30, 2008 @ 11:17 am )
Wonderful post! I do remember. And it was hard! Just one more is still more. When my oldest learned to buckle his own seat belt, you would have thought I’d won the lottery (amazinly without buying a ticket of course). Learning to make their own pb&j comes in a close second to that. Not that I don’t make their lunches ever, but it’s good to know they can do it. Please know it gets easier. Even if the Lord keeps blessing you with just one more…the older ones keep getting older and it’s amazing what a year can change and accomplish.
Comment by Ginny (January 30, 2008 @ 11:22 am )
Thank you.
I have been reading Crystal (Biblical Womanhood) and she makes me just want to walk down the road waving a white flag. She posts before and after pictures of her closets, and her before pictures totally trump any “afters” my closets have ever seen.
I guess some people can rise at 5 a.m., exercise and then set out in search of fresh organic vegetables at the farmers’ market. Some of us are doing well to get our kids on the bus to (gasp) public school at 7:35 and drink our tea without puking. I’m just saying.
I used to hate it when people told me I had spit up down my back. I said, “Oh really? Thank you for telling me.” But I thought, “OF COURSE I have spit up down my back. I ALWAYS have spit up down my back. Except when it is also down my front. I’m sorry that you have a problem with it. Oh, wait. No I’m not.”
But I’m kind of a nice person anyway. I hope. Anyway, God loves me. That is a really good thing to remember some days, even though those are the days when it is hardest to believe.
1 John 1:9
Comment by ruth (January 30, 2008 @ 11:27 am )
“What if I sell them on the black market?” Around here, I’ve been thinking of selling them to the first gypsy who knocks on the door. Did I say selling? Heck, giving away. And I “only” have two, but number three is on the way.
Comment by Thia (January 30, 2008 @ 11:35 am )
I thought I had it bad. I have 3, but they are not under three. They are ages 10, 6, and 3. Life is very full with these 3 and homeschooling. There is one other thing that takes tons of my time. Its a big thing. CHURCH MEMBERS!! Do they count as children too? They whine and cry too, if you know what I mean. But I can sort of forget about them for a time but I cannot forget about my children. So I guess they don’t count.
God bless you, Amy. If I lived nearby, I’d give you a hand.
Nikki
Comment by Nikki (January 30, 2008 @ 11:51 am )
My oldest is 12 and a girl. I am trying to have grace with her. She is as emotional as I am. Do you know what that is like? Well, I am glad my oldest is a girl, she helps with the domestic stuff a lot. Fighting the emotions is very difficult. I am not going to sugarcoat that. Some people say, “Whew, it has been one of those days!” Let’s just say it has been one of those MONTHS!
On the other hand, I have really kind of forgotten what 3 under 3 is like. I think I was in a blur. Maybe the white of the diapers blinded me. UGh! I do vaguely remember it being hard. Granted, I had to make a trip every other day to see my baby in the NICU 2 hours away for 3 months. That was hard!
Well, I will get off my pity potty and start praying and getting on with life!
Comment by Kelly (January 30, 2008 @ 11:55 am )
Oh amy! Thank you for not forgetting!!! This is what I needed to hear this morning. I so appreciate that you take time out of what I am sure is a crazy busy day to encourage those of us who are coming up behind you.
Time to get back to my two under three who are sick. No black market sales today though. Thanks.
Comment by Tiffany (January 30, 2008 @ 12:06 pm )
What a great post. I never comment, but a lot of the time I feel like you’re my long lost sister. I live in Kentucky, so since you’re moving to KY, maybe you are!
Comment by Bethany (January 30, 2008 @ 1:27 pm )
With four under three, i am right there with you. And I HATE the remark about “just wait til you’re homeschooling.” I really just want to yell, “well, at least you’re not responsible for wiping four extra butts.” But i don’t. Instead I type it on nice, g-rated blogs like yours. Sorry. Anyway, I applaud you for attempting long-division AND butt-wiping. You go, girl.
Comment by Lora Lynn (January 30, 2008 @ 2:30 pm )
I have to confess that sometimes I don’t want to sell mine on the black market–I just want to lock them out of the house
Comment by Kelli (January 30, 2008 @ 2:39 pm )
Amy,
I’m a long time reader of your blog but I’ve never posted a comment before. Thank you so much for “remembering.” I’m a mom of 2 (3 and 1.5 years old) and one of the most discouraging things I hear from veteran moms when I’m at the end of my rope is “Just you wait until…” Telling me how hard things will be later is no help to me now, in fact, it’s rather depressing. I hope other experienced moms will heed the call to be encouraging to us newer moms and answer our frustrations with “Don’t worry, this too shall pass. You’re doing a great job. Hang in there!.”
Lizz
Comment by Lizz (January 30, 2008 @ 2:45 pm )
We are currently in the process of just _thinking_ about #3. (if and when that happens, Lord willing, #1 will be at least 4 years and #2 will be at least 2 years old.) We have our ups and downs, of course, and I am encouraged to hear that other people face the same challenges, but I must admit, I’m a little discouraged that I keep hearing “oh, 3 kids are the hardest!” Is that just when they’re all under 3? I find my 3 year old can be helpful in many ways, sometimes
thanks!
Comment by Michelle (January 30, 2008 @ 2:48 pm )
I realized that last line sounded kind of funny. I should’ve said, “can be helpful in many ways, sometimes :-)!!” thanks for any input or ideas you all may have!
Comment by Michelle (January 30, 2008 @ 2:50 pm )
Hello!
I have three under three. Actually, shortly after #3 got here, my #1 turned 3, but for a whole month, I had three under three, and now I have three, three and under.
I’m looking forward to reading more of your blog! I’ll so it in my “free time”. Haha!
It’s nice to know that I’ll probably live through this phase.
Thanks! Oh, and when people see me and say, “Oh, you have your hands full!” I reply, “You think?” No chirppy responses for me either.
Kierstyn
Comment by Kierstyn (January 30, 2008 @ 3:22 pm )
We’re considering padding one of the big rooms downstairs:) Then I could just lock them all in or…maybe lock myself in:) Three seemed crazy hard until I got pregnant with number 4. Now I’m not really cognizant (spell check that for me, won’t you?) of whether or not it’s hard - I just don’t have time to think about it. Thank you for not forgetting and for being “humble” enough to share with us!
Comment by Shannon Miller (January 30, 2008 @ 3:24 pm )
Shannon, I get a lot of questions about lonliness in motherhood, and honestly, it’s not something I battle anymore. I am too busy to be too lonely. You have to look on the bright side, right? Some problems resolve themselves.
——–
On another note, I think I might want to take my “selling them on the black market” bit back. This is the internet, and well, I want to be responsible and all that jazz. This post was a rapid write. You never know. I mean, most folks know I love my children passionately. I am strong. I make it through these low points. I have a sinister sense of humor even in the dark times. And that’s just it, some people don’t pull out of it. Some people sink low in the mud and drown instead of getting stronger. (Andrea Yates, etc, etc, etc) I’d love to talk about post-partem depression and such, but the thing is, you never know who is reading and what’s going on. You know, that’s why I only give child training advice in person, and then, only when it’s asked for. I mean, it does no good to tell a tyrant to “be firm.” A lot of this stuff ought to go on in the context of covenant communities where people know one another and are involved in one another’s lives. This last run-on paragraph is a freebie.
Comment by Amy Scott (January 30, 2008 @ 3:42 pm )
Yes! I just learned that we will soon have 5 under 5, and the shock has not yet worn off. I have a 5 month old, and #5 is due 9/11!
I agree with an earlier comment(I just glanced at it)that I’ve been celebrating the small achievements(ie. potty training, buckled seat belts, bringing mommy diapers, picking up the floor full of toys). I don’t really want to think of what it’s going to be like when I start homeschooling!
But(and yes, I know it’s not necessary to add this) they are such a blessing!
I love your 3 under 3 posts.
Thanks.
Comment by Natalie (January 30, 2008 @ 4:03 pm )
“You better believe it. Holy smokes. Do I have spit-up on my back? Can you check for me?”
I am laughing OUT LOUD!!!
As a mom of a 7 yr old, 5 yr old, 5 month old and JUST finding out we are EXPECTING AGAIN…I am laughing!!
The first 2 were 18months apart, and I was younger..i wasn’t really phased….
This 5 month old has been like starting over…and now starting over again!!
God is good, he is blessing us…and I too will soon get my feet back under me…
I love reading your blog, just don’t comment often.
Comment by Densie (January 30, 2008 @ 4:33 pm )
I’m back to three three and under, too. (and 5 more to boot.) It IS crazy,isn’t it. So hard. So very, very hard. And it doesn’t get easier until they grow a little bit.
I’m back to the stage of having four little ones sticking to me…I make them do that so that someone isn’t eating the toothpaste or flushing foreign objects or otherwise wreaking havoc. Having three little vigorous little (stinkers!) boys in a row is CURAZEEEEEE!
My house will never really be clean again…at least not for years. There isn’t time. We clean it, but it won’t stay that way for more than ten minutes.
It is agonizingly hard to go anywhere. Hard to sit in church, hard to shop, hard to even get bundled up to take them out and hard to take the time to stay out with them to watch them.
Yeesh. You had to get me started, Amy!
This is not complaining - it is simple honesty. I’m thankful for each one. They ARE blessings. They are beautiful. But they are hard - for a time!
Comment by Holly (January 30, 2008 @ 5:02 pm )
Hi Amy. I’ve been reading for a while - LOVE it! Don’t know if I’ve left a comment before, though.
With regard to the PPD, it really is so important to give that encouragement, isn’t it? We have a test for PPD here in Australia that the Child Health nurses do at your healthy baby check-ups. When my #6 was a few months old and not sleeping particularly well (the second child to be “a pain” in that way, not doing what he was *supposed to*), I went to the health nurse. We were homeschooling (still are!) and I knew I was a mess. She pulled out *the test* and I told her that the result was going to be bad - it was. The best thing about this was that THIS time, in the middle of the madness, I knew that the Lord would bring me through, just as He did the other times I thought I was going crazy.
That was, I think, the first time I realised that He WAS growing me. Growth is painful, but it’s progress. I am glad He had different plans for me with these children than I did for myself.
Hang in there, Amy - and all you other mums of littles.
Blessings in Him
Meredith
Comment by Meredith_in_Aus (January 30, 2008 @ 5:41 pm )
Thank you for being transparent and honest. Your encouragement is a blessing to many!
Comment by Susan in Elk Grove CA (January 30, 2008 @ 6:41 pm )
Dear Amy and Holly #26,
While I appreciate your honesty in these dark times, some of us here are still expecting #6 and well, it’s too late to reconsider. Please let us know when things get better so we can stop shaking in our maternity boots
Comment by EmilyG (January 30, 2008 @ 6:43 pm )
#4 did me in. I honestly never thought I’d recover, but I’m still standing and God has been gracious.
I’ll be praying for you. Hugs!
Comment by Janel (January 30, 2008 @ 7:14 pm )
I think a lot of it at my house has to do with personalities. I have two specific little boys in a row who are wild men. Wow!
Comment by Holly (January 30, 2008 @ 7:47 pm )
Amy: amen & hear, hear.
in my case, i’ve got spit-up dripping down both sides of my back, joy oh delight, and let’s hear a cheer for run-on sentences because i’m too tired to punctuate or write proper grammar, it’s all i can do to put deodorant on in the morning if only to cover up the spit-up smells covering my clothes, if i were a drinking woman today would be a triple martini day; but since i am such a pious christian woman a double latte will have to suffice.
Comment by Elizabeth (January 30, 2008 @ 8:15 pm )
My sister and brother in law have six wonderful children. The youngest is now 15.
She used to tell me regularly that after 3 it gets easier. I always suspected she was lying. Thanks for confirming it!
God bless you and your beautiful family.
Comment by Jan (January 30, 2008 @ 8:55 pm )
I am SO glad to hear you say this Amy! Honestly, I’ve been struggling so much lately. I have five children between age 7 and 6 months. This fifth child is what broke me. And this is my first year homeschooling. I feel so defeated everyday. I also feel like the naysayers are right, I really can’t do this.
I’m SO,SO glad to hear another Mom of many not pretending it’s all ok. I’m so glad to hear that it’s ok for me to feel a little defeated. It doesn’t make me less of a Christian or a Mother.
Comment by Christina (January 30, 2008 @ 10:04 pm )
Ahhh . . . .yes–just what I was waiting to hear from you–some encouragement for the week!!! We are 3 months pregnant with #6 and I am just starting to feel better–but still very, very sick
Our 3 adopted children from Liberia came on MLK Day (Jan 21) and it has been absolutely wonderful–and also extremely exhausting. One of the children has a temporary skin problem that is requiring that our laundry take over our lives–25-30 loads a week! We understand just under a quarter of what they say which adds to the fun
We posted some pics on facebook if you want to take a look
Thanks again for the post–I NEEDED to read it!!!
Comment by Cindy S (January 30, 2008 @ 10:37 pm )
Come May, we will be doing the three under three again with the other three that were under three all at the same time. They are a daily reminder that we did get through it the first time and look how they are turning out. They are also a reminder of how much God has grown me and my husband through them. The homeschooling will get done, by God’s grace, the house will be clean enough for now, and everyone will get fed, dressed, and loved as needed because God doesn’t give us tasks that He does not provide the grace, strength, and courage needed to complete the job.
That all sounds a bit preachy and pious, I admit. Nevertheless, it is true. Most days, I feel defeated, overwhelmed, or wanting to indulge myself in a pity party because no one else I know has it as hard as me. But my family is still there, they still need me, and I am still the one whom God put there to meet their needs. I just have to trust Him to meet mine. It sure helps to have some good internet friends to encourage me when I need it. Thanks, Amy and thanks to the rest of you, too.
Comment by Another Heather (January 30, 2008 @ 11:39 pm )
Never forget, blessed fruitful women, some women WISH they had three under three (and then some…). Just a thought.
Comment by Sheila (January 30, 2008 @ 11:44 pm )
Man, do I know how you feel. Our #5 is eating my lunch with her crying while I’m trying to chase the 21 month old, while I’m doing Dictation with the 12 year old, while I’m making dinner.
I keep telling myself that it’ll end….one of these days. One day we’ll look around and wonder why it’s so quiet!
love,
Becca
Comment by Becca (January 31, 2008 @ 12:01 am )
I love you.
I’m proud of you.
I believe in you.
Things we should tell our girlfriends.
Comment by Tracey (January 31, 2008 @ 9:01 am )
Hooray!! My heart in a blog post! Well, part of my heart anyway.
I think Miss Grumpy just looks like she’s hot here.
I am a few months away from my fourth in five years. I have vowed to never, ever belittle any mother who has three under three. One day I hope to have a daughter or daughter-in-law who is in that chapter and be able to so tenderly help and encourage her!!
Comment by Kristi (January 31, 2008 @ 10:12 am )
First of all I would like to say I think it is great that so many women want to have large families today (I would if I could). Please forgive me if I am taking your post and the comments the wrong way, but it seems like many children are more of a burden than a joy. I only have two (which can be a handful in itself because of the 7 year difference in their age)so I can’t relate to 3,4,5,or more. But just from reading the comments, it seems as if everyone are so overwhelmed all the time. Am I taking them the wrong way? But lastly, I would give anything to have the opportunity to experience many bundles of joy, so I would like to say enjoy the heartache, because eventually they do grow up and may go away. (And are not always so mom friendly when they become teenagers
I do enjoy reading your blog Amy and wish you many many happy and blessed years with your children!
Comment by Kris (January 31, 2008 @ 11:01 am )
EEK! Don’t scare me! My 6th is due in September. LOL! I know through God I will get through it though. YOur blog is actually totally refreshing for me. YOu share not only the good but the bad too., Some blogs leave me feeling like I am not a good mom cause some of these women do so much. Thanks so much for this blog.
http://theballardsblog.blogspot.com/
Comment by Tiffany (January 31, 2008 @ 12:02 pm )
LALALALALALLALALALALA not listening…..pregnant with #3 and it won’t be near as hard as two…. lalalalalalalalalal
Comment by Christi Lachney (January 31, 2008 @ 1:44 pm )
Haha, Christi! I did that, too!!!
I think how much your husband is available / able / willing to help is a huge factor - not to be ignored!!
Sorry - I can hear the can opening and the worms crawling out!!
Comment by Kristi (January 31, 2008 @ 2:22 pm )
Comment 41: Life is hard whether you’re a mom of many or few. Admitting life is hard and that we need help doesn’t mean we’re ungrateful.
Someone recently encouraged me by saying: Yes, you’ve been blessed and sometimes blessings are a heavy load.
I was like: phew, THANK you for giving me the permission to admit that! Sometimes all we need is the forum in which to say: yes, I love my job but it’s a LOT of work!
Comment by Elizabeth (January 31, 2008 @ 3:03 pm )
I so appreciate your honesty… thank you for your blog, it helps me see I am not alone.
I like your last remark, striving to thrive!
Comment by m (January 31, 2008 @ 4:32 pm )
You present such an uplifting spirit. I haven’t checked the blog in a while. Lydia is doing well and is preparing for transplant. Please keep praying, especially ask your children to pray.
Thanks,
Liz
Comment by Liz (January 31, 2008 @ 5:01 pm )
Oh, Amy! Thank you for finding the time to share such an encouraging post! You say, with such cheerful honesty, what I’ve come to see in my life with my four children. I hope to be someone who encourages other young mothers too…and the best way to do that is “sharing one anothers burdens,” not belittling someone’s hardships. Thanks for the smile!
Comment by Dana (January 31, 2008 @ 5:12 pm )
Yes, number 6 was the one that threw me over the edge…I’m still in recovery, but, alas, will join the 3 age 3 and under club in the next 12 weeks. Ahhh! There goes my sanity. Your advice is appreciated! AND I do all this at age 40 (which I turn a month after this baby is born). I’m leaning on Jesus for this one!
Comment by Nancy P. (January 31, 2008 @ 6:12 pm )
Elizabeth (#45) Thank you for saying what I wanted to, but so much better. I was thinking something along the line of the joy increases with the hard work, but we just need to remember to look for it sometimes. I sincerely doubt that there are any of us that would truly trade in any of our blessings for a bit more free time, but, being human we sure are tempted to complain about the blessings we have. I am no exception. Growing in Christ consists of daily, even minute by minute, dying to myself and submitting to His calling in my life, which is husband, lots of kids and lots of housework at this point. But no matter how tired or stressed I get, I would never change a minute of it.
Comment by Another Heather (January 31, 2008 @ 6:23 pm )
I want to say a big CONGRATULATIONS to all the expecting moms. Last night, I re-watched the video I posted about our new baby and just felt so blessed.
Then there is Cindy with their new children from Liberia, and there is sweet baby Lydia with an upcoming heart transplant.
So many stories here of moms up-to-their-eyeballs in work, good work–not the kind that burns in the end.
The Bible is full of talk about our future hope, about the One Day to come, about heaven. In the same way, I think our work with little ones is like that in a smaller sense. Yes, we labor for an eternal reward and ought to hang on to that hope, but in another way, we ought to look forward to the days to come even sooner. I always imagine Thanksgiving dinner in another 15 years: my children with their spouses and their children who are serving Jesus and the unmatched silverware and the ruckus and the DAY THAT I WILL SIT BACK AND WATCH THEM DO THE WORK…whoops, I meant to make that in small print. It’s just a tiny aside.
It will all be worth it. I believe that deep in my soul so strongly that it carries me through the thankless parts. And all these mothers here do too or they wouldn’t have these lovely families. It is all for Jesus. All of it. The cup of water, the cup of Cheerios, the days that are strung along so similarly that you can not tell them apart–they are all offerings to Christ. They are for Him. We do it to glorify Him.
Comment by Amy Scott (January 31, 2008 @ 7:11 pm )
I have been afraid to admit to anyone that I am terrified to be joining the 3 under 3 club in April. Now I feel so understood and validated. I have felt so alone and like the neighbor moms think I’m nuts for having babies so close together and keeping them at home with me all the time and wanting to homeschool them. Thank you Amy for these posts and the follow-up comment. Now I am all teary from the encouragement. There ARE other moms out there who understand! It helps to hear someone else echo what I tell myself every day- It will all be worth it! I pray that by God’s mercy and grace on me and my family, He will make it so.
Comment by Ann (January 31, 2008 @ 10:32 pm )
thanks for the great post! I went back and read the other 7. Great real-life advice. I only have two little one’s but hope to have 3 under three at some point!!!
Comment by Michelle (February 1, 2008 @ 12:37 am )
I have waited all this time for you to post and what do you post? A boring post!
Comment by annymous (February 1, 2008 @ 7:52 am )
I am so glad that you posted this…I remember when I had the colicky newborn and the 20 month old, do you think going through that made you stronger. I know it tested me, my patience, and my faith and ya know what…I passed. Sometimes I look back to when I only had two and think~ Wow and I thought I was busy then…. If I only knew then what I know now….
Comment by girlymom (February 1, 2008 @ 8:17 am )
I thought it was just me!! So glad it’s not. My days become a blur, with the exception of shopping day…that’s always an adventure with 7 kids.
I think the struggles we endure as moms are similar to (and part of) the Christian life. There isn’t an ounce in me that would give up my relationship with Christ for comfort and ease, but it certainly doesn’t mean that it’s easy living. Admitting it’s hard isn’t wrong as long as it’s laced with thanksgiving and joy in every trial…which I think these commenting moms have been doing.
I can’t wait for future Thanksgivings too!!! It will be awesome (should the Lord tarry, of course)!!
Comment by Ginny (February 1, 2008 @ 10:30 am )
Amy - I just printed the last paragraph of your last comment to put on my fridge. It IS all for Him and when I keep that thought in front of me, all of it is so much more joyful (not easier, but more joyful).
Comment by Shannon Miller (February 1, 2008 @ 2:38 pm )
Wow, I could have written that post! We also have 6 ages 9 down to 8 mos. and number six has sunk my ship, too. I no longer desire to attend ladies studies’ or anything else that requires a shower and clothes without stains. Even the motivation to exercise has not yet returned this time. Thanks for your encouragement and glad I’m not alone.
Comment by Jenn (February 1, 2008 @ 3:34 pm )
I have a friend, Stacy in North Carolina, who told me this: it gets better when the baby gets about 3-months-old. Now, Stacy has children the same exact ages and number as I do (that’s how we met), but for some reason, she has the wisdom while I got left in the dust. It’s true. You shouldn’t cut your hair or some other drama until the baby is 3 months. Things settle into a routine then. Why I always forget this, I don’t know.
Comment by Amy Scott (February 1, 2008 @ 8:26 pm )
Mmmmm…Thanks, I had three, three and under exactly one year ago tomorrow!!! AND I’M ALIVE AND WELL AND LOVING IT!! :O) I was terrified when I found out number three was on the way…I could not fathom another baby when I had barely gotten used to number two. I was quite low after number two (don’t know if it was PPD or just the blues) so the prospect of number three brought me to my knees. I prayed through that pregnancy like you wouldn’t believe and at that time my sister found your blog with the posts about three under three. What an encouragement! My husband took paternity leave for number three and we thrived. the first week was very shocking as Esmé had some heart troubles which have resolved (PRAISE GOD!). Now tomorrow is her birthday and I’m overwhelmed at the blessing that the hardship of three, three and under has been. Thank you for reminding me not to think more highly of myself than first time mom’s. I tend to think ‘just you wait’ when I hear their troubles and I need to be more gracious.

When I think of how blessed we were with three I am confused about family planning…is it right?…does it depend on individual circumstances?…am I trusting God enough to choose the timing?…etc!? Any advice on that Amy?
Thanks for your honesty and I admire you for your lack of self-pity!
God bless!
P.S. All the people who told me that number three was the hardest prepared me for the worst and it turned out to be the easiest adjustment-or at least the one that I learned/matured the most from.
Comment by mel (February 1, 2008 @ 8:43 pm )
Just realised I haven’t bought number three her first birthday present for tomorrow! Maybe I’m not thriving!
Comment by mel (February 1, 2008 @ 8:44 pm )
This post is too funny! I love the- “Do I have spit-up on my back? Can you check for me?.” And I completely understand the comment about having to teach long division in the midst of it all. I have lots of little ones but now I also have older ones. While that makes it easier in some ways (I don’t do all the chores or meals myself anymore), trying to teach math, theology and logic to 14 and 16 year olds while managing toddlers and all the ages in between is actually harder.
And the Barney clean up song? I’m so glad I wasn’t the only mama singing that silly song!
Comment by Tanisha (February 2, 2008 @ 5:24 pm )
Amy, I so appreciate your honesty and down-to-earth-ness.
I can really hear it from you because I know your next paragraph isn’t going to be “…and I am SO DONE. NO MORE. Anyone who does this on purpose is irresponsible and crazy”. And I know that most of your commenters aren’t going to jump down your throat saying “Well, why’d you have so many if it’s so hard???”. :p
I think you are a great example of valuing children highly (even in large numbers) and still being honest that sometimes the road God calls us to walk can be rocky for a season.
I have three highly active boys under five, and it’s true that my days seem to sort of blend into each other. I’m always surprised when I reach Friday and find myself facing another weekend. Where did all the other days disappear to???? And as much as I love my boys, and as much as I love raising them, there are definately days when I daydream about never changing another reeking diaper ever again.
Comment by Margaret (February 3, 2008 @ 9:35 pm )
I had a colicky firstborn and did not appreciate and still do not the “Just wait” comments. I realized recently that when people tell you “Just wait” you are dreading the future then as well as not enjoying the present. I love the comments when I hear, “It goes by so fast, enjoy every minute you have with them” because it does. My boys are 9,7,5 and 3 and it seems like yesterday my oldest was that colicky baby who would not stop screaming. He is almost 10 and I hear the “just wait” about teenagers, I heard it when he was a baby and stubborn about when he would be 2. We survived that through lots of prayer and taking one day at a time and I have decided I will do that with the next stage as well.
It goes by so fast and you never know when things in life will change, you may suddenly never be able to have more children, you may lose one or something like that. Life is short and passing fast!
I love to see people who are facing the reality of motherhood is hard, but we can do it and enjoy the challenge!
Comment by Martha (February 4, 2008 @ 12:00 am )
AMY!! You are soooooooo much like me in your thinking and wit it is scary, LOL!! I nearly spit my tea out over this:
Not to take away from the truth underlining the humor. What you are doing is HARD, period. I am praying for you. As they grow some it will get better, promise. Also, when you get to Kentucky gym will consist of 50 laps around the pond daily. At least they will sleep good LOL!
Praying for you,
Maryanne
Comment by Maryanne (February 5, 2008 @ 12:48 pm )
This was the perfect day for me to read this. I have two 3.5 yr. old twin boys and a 1 yr. old baby girl. I’m there…3 under 4. I looked at my husband today after a trip to Target (he did not accompany me) and said, “I am the walking definition of frazzled mom.” When checkout lines opened up at Target, I wanted to literally elbow others out of the way to be first, get through the line and leave. When others beat me to it, I wanted to scream, “LOOK….whoever has the most number of children to the least number of parents wins here….OKAY..that would be me..SO MOVE OUT OF MY WAY OR SOMEONE WILL PROBABLY GET HURT AND IT’S LIKELY TO BE BY ONE OF MY 3 YEAR OLDS!”
I am a Christian woman…did I forget to mention that? Anyway, thank you for not forgetting. IT’s a good thing for me to consider doing, too…not forgetting that is.
Comment by briana almengor (February 9, 2008 @ 4:19 pm )
I remember life with three under three. When my third was born my oldest was 3.5 years old. My first two are 13 months apart and the first one had colic. The second would let no other woman touch him until he was about 2. Life was a never ending, diaper, breastfeed, nap, cycle. I had sippy cups and diapers coming out of every nook and every crany in the house. I have a lot of empathy for moms now that my four are older ( 9,8,7,3)
julie
Comment by julie (February 12, 2008 @ 3:44 pm )
I loved your post, and your honesty. Just had to say that six was my number too! How weird, or cool, or frightening– I don’t know which. I held it together nicely for numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5. But six?? All I say now is, “Folks, all bets are off!”
I found your blog through Jenni at One Thing. I have enjoyed reading your posts and identify with what you have said about the QF movement.
Comment by Marybeth Whalen (March 5, 2008 @ 5:21 pm )
All I can think to say is AMEN SISTER! Hi, I’m Karen to proud mother to triplets and another. My oldest is 12 and my triplets will be 3 in Sept. ‘08! I know exactly how you feel and you have encouraged and inspired me that I can make it through this most intense season. Thank you and God Bless
Comment by Karen (July 9, 2008 @ 2:13 pm )
[...] a wonderfully encouraging, practical and funny series by Amy Scott on life with three children under three years old. No matter how many kids you have, [...]
Pingback by Pursuing Titus 2 » Blog Archive » Delightful Series for Young Moms (August 14, 2008 @ 9:11 pm )
I’ve stumbled into your blog just in the perfect time, praise God!! I have three under three (27 months, 15 months, 8 week old girls) and I was drowning..mentally, emotionally, physically. There is no word how grateful I am to the Lord to read your stories and all these comments added to your logs. I felt so terribly alone, so incompetent, so drained and so helpless. I thought it’s only me - because whenever I see other moms, they’re so self confident, happy and just “well together” with it..I started to be so sure that I just wasn’t cut for it and everyone was right who said we won’t be able to do this. To read everything here was like a refreshing spring to my heart, to realize I am not alone in my struggles, fears, thoughts..So there’s a big thank you and God bless you for this site! I don’t have real fellowship with any ladies at the moment and it’s awful but this virtual encouragement gave me back the desire to survive these years at all. Thank you for being gracious and merciful and admit all of these hardships and fears without pride standing in the way. The Lord knows how much I needed it and I have no doubt most of us young moms with many young children need it desperately from you, more experienced Mothers. And if I say desperately, I mean desperately..I wish there were women so open and honest in virtual life out there too, to turn to in our struggles, with our questions and doubts!!!!!!
God bless,
Gina
Comment by Gina (August 19, 2008 @ 1:35 pm )
I.must.take.shower….but first, I must say, like everyone else, thank you. I only had time to read this post of the series, but I will be back. I can remember big “discussions” with my husband about homeschooling. What if I were in a nuthouse from all the stress? Would homeschooling still be the best choice? Currently, I have a 4 year old, a 2 year old and a 9-month old. My first 2 are 15 months apart, and it wasn’t by way of a quiverful mentality. It was an old-fashioned surprise.
Through the gentle guiding of the Holy Spirit, not at all what I deserve, I am starting to understand exactly what I’m supposed to be doing here with all these children. I feel a post bubbling up for my own blog.
But really…if I don’t take a shower now, it’ll be 7pm before I have time again.
Comment by Georgia (September 8, 2008 @ 7:17 am )
Okay, just one more thing. I do feel the need to clarify when I say “all these children” and most can see I’ve only mentioned 3. Growing up, I didn’t want any children at all. When I married, I agreed to have one child, possibly 2, because as I was taught, you have children out of love for your husband. I didn’t want children and don’t particularly care for children that aren’t my own. But with my surprise and the one that followed, I have learned that children are a blessing and we’re going to trust God for the next one that comes our way.
The Lord has changed my heart toward families and my place within it. Every addition to our family is just a testament to God’s ability to change even the coldest heart back to Him. So, for me, 3, is definitely a houseful.
Comment by Georgia (September 8, 2008 @ 7:22 am )
Thanks so much for blogging about this. I am a missionary mom with 4 kids ages 5 and under. Because we are on home service right now we are doing a lot of traveling which makes it hard to find good mentors. I am thankful to live in the day and age of the internet where I can find women like you that I can read (listen) to and get advice.
Comment by seedpearl (September 8, 2008 @ 10:31 am )
I was just looking at your blog looking for a mommy web site and I have to say thank you so much. I currently have two under three but my third is due a month before my oldest turns three. I had gone back to work this past summer because I thought I was missing something in my life. It turned out to be a disaster-my two year old regressed sharply because I wasn’t home all the time. We were so close to potty training and good habits and she was even helping out with the younger one. I quit a month ago because there was just too much stress and the kids were doing miserably.
Sorry so long- the point is thank you so much for your blog it makes me feel like I am not alone and that there are other mothers out there who have babies close together that act like “monsters” sometimes and you just want to rip your hair out.
Comment by Alycia Adamo (September 19, 2008 @ 8:58 pm )