Some things just work well together: peanut butter and jelly, Batman and Robin, and hot dogs at a baseball game. A good day can be like that. Sometimes you hit all the green lights down the main drag. Sometimes it is double coupon day and you didn’t even know it. Then there was the time they called my name at a crowded baby shower and I won a houseplant. Usually, I have to fight to the death to win those goofball games, but that time I didn’t. I just won for nothing. There are days that stuff just works out.

But for the rest of life—my life, in particular–there are paradoxes. One author, Joseph Heller wrote, “There was only one catch and that was [a] Catch-22.” The Bible is like that when it talks about the first being last, the greatest being a servant, and losing your life in order to save it. One of the things about learning a lot in life is that you find out that you really know nothing.

I’m naturally a little high-strung and impatient, which is just another way to say that I’m an unlikely candidate for the job as a…well, you already know my vocation. (I lock kids in the basement and teach them how to cuss, apparently.) Truth be told, though, who is really prepared for parenthood beforehand? And since giving up isn’t an option—there are the children, after all—the only option for the woman who loves her little ones is to succeed.

Motherhood is a great paradox in that in order to keep going day-after-day, you have to stop. In the loudness, there must be quiet. In the mayhem, there must be order. In the busyness, there must be stillness. Otherwise, the marathon of motherhood seems impossible.

It’s been a long time–four kids since I last had a moment away. But today, for this blessed day, I am alone and it feels good.

From our house, I made my way down the island where it turns into the skinny part on the map. Houses are expensive here because both frontyard and backyard are riverfront. Just a tiny road runs through. Some houses have swimming pools in their front yard, which is uncommon even in Florida. I drove slowly because it was a dark and stormy night, but also because the landscaping seemed worth checking out.

When the island’s causeway took me beachside, I made my way to Wal-Mart for snack food. Nothing can damper a day’s vacation and make a housewife feel like she’s back on duty like a trip to Wal-Mart. So I hurried. From there, I headed to the beach.

It is 75 degrees and breezy. The beaches are deserted and the weather is perfect, even if it is a little ominous. I have no idea why people vacation here in the summer when it is more tolerable now. There must be an internet special or something. It is in the 60’s in the evenings and in the mid-70’s during the day.

All is still except the rhythmic crashing of the ocean’s waves, two surfers in the far distance, and some seagulls overhead in search of a few morsels. It is good. Nobody needs me for the moment, and if I could be so optimistic, nobody is coughing, dripping, spilling, tattling, or crying. For all I know.

But now, it is time for me to head home. I can’t wait. My little ones have fat cheeks, and I am lost without them. My older ones have jokes and pranks and science experiments with too many parts. I hear the insect exhibit has expanded and that the two-year-old commissioned to find the specimens stopped eating them. I was made for this life. Some things go together—like me and them.

Peek a boo

Our boy here on the right. You know, the one with the trucks.