Some parents complain that their children fight too much. I’ve got a whole lot of complaints, but that’s not one of them. The oldest two go at it a little, while the younger group enjoys the bliss of youthful ignorance. Every family has their tone, and ours is sarcasm. Even so, they are quite gentle with their sarcastic jesting.

Our children often create pet names for one another. Some of them last, while most of the creative gestures fall by the wayside. There is one particular name for our #3 Kid that has stood the test of time. Her name? “Nina and Grampa Flowerhead Fidoo.” It’s a long story. That last word rhymes with “Achoo.” I can say her name really fast, too. She loves her name, and we love her. We call her “Fidoo” for short sometimes. It’s a term of endearment, and she is dear to all of us.

Perhaps you’re wondering, What ever happened to “Muffin”? But Fidoo loves her name and her place in the family which she belongs. We also call her “Banana Banana” on occasion. She smiles and we smile and wink back at her.

There was an elderly neighbor who used to call McGregor, my oldest son, “Mac.” He hated it. Now, the old man was just being friendly, but my son would grumble and mumble every time he said it. Fast forward a few years, and McGregor is playing competitive baseball. Coach taunts him on the mound, “Big Mac, come on, Big Mac, you got somethin’ for me?! Show me whatcha got, Big Mac.” All of the sudden, he loves it. Now we’re all allowed to call him “Big Mac.”

Over the years, I’ve heard children called all sorts of things. Some good, some bad. The key is context and atmosphere. Who is smiling and dishing it back? Who is not? Tone is everything. (If you’re married, you already know that.) When I tuck them in bed at night, I call them by their given name. I use their middle name after their first name when they’re in trouble. It’s what moms are supposed to do.

I try to temper my jesting when I write, not because I’m in a bad mood but because I’m not. I want to make sure the receiver knows there is a smile on my face and a twinkle in my eye. Without love, we are a “sounding brass and a clanging cymbal.” It is easier to catch flies with honey. You can get away with a whole lot more when people know they’re loved. Just ask Fidoo.

Fidoo

Fidoo on the left looks more like an Anatasia or a Gwyndolyn to me.