Things were going great. Not really, but at least we had basic things going for us, like oxygen and the weather. After we had our rents stolen and the building almost condemned the first month, it was time to up the ante.

Now, I do my best to protect the identities of people who might not want to star on my blog. There is a guy in my church who won’t talk to me because he’s afraid he’ll end up on my blog. (I’ll give him a fake name: Paul.) So, we have this very tall 300+ pound black guy with muscles like He-Man in apartment 3B. We’ll call him 3B for short, because if I tell you his first name, you will definitely know who he is.

We met him the day we were looking at the $35,000 house. We’ll call that house with three units 35k for short, so we can confuse anyone who comes late to the series. I knew that he was a little “unbalanced”, but we’re not allowed to discriminate and all that.

So our property manager goes over to tell him that ownership has changed, shows him the paperwork, and explains that the same rent is to be paid at the same time. In other words, we chose to honor the existing contract, as is customary. 3B goes into an all out tirade: cussing, screaming, chasing, throwing garbage cans, and seething, “I’m going to kill you!” while our poor property manager (who got a raise) finds sudden agility in his old age. He manages to reach his cell phone in the car/shield and dials 9-1-1.

When the cops come, he threatens to kill them too but instead (in the only moment of justice so far) gets hauled off to jail.

So, we are in town again that week and needing to do some repairs at 35k, but we’re leery of going on our property. But we’re in luck, because I spy a police officer walking down the street. I ask Greg to pull over, and he does while muttering about what I was up to now.

I flagged down the police officer and explained the situation. I wanted to know if he would accompany us to the apartments since we didn’t have tasers, guns, and radio backup. He asked who the tenant was. “3B,” I replied. “Oh, 3B?” mind you, this is a thriving metropolis, “Yeah we know him. He’s in jail.” And just like that, we were allowed on our property again (for 3 days anyway, until he got out of jail).

That’s not even the good part. Greg flies up to court for eviction, explaining that he never paid any rent and was arrested for trying to kill people. We had all our proof and followed procedure perfectly. The judge replies, get this, “Well, maybe he didn’t understannnnd.” And just like that, without a dollar of good faith money, another month’s free rent for the tenant. No kidding. When we finally got possession after a lot of money, hassle, and two court appearances charged to moi, we had to pay to remove his belongings, along with the month old fried chicken on the counter. It’s a lovely system.

So my third tip is this: Since the justice system is for the criminal, not the law abiding citizen, and if that makes your blood boil, you might be better off hiding your retirement money in a hole as opposed to rental units. I would’ve said to buy stocks, but since mine are all down, I’m going with the hole in the ground. On second thought, since the dollar is about to be worthless due to hyper-inflation, go out and get a lot of gold fillings. That’s my keen insight—worth exactly what it cost you.

:biggrin_wp: