Comments on: Why you might not want to do rentals: No tip today, just a story

By: MrsW

MrsW — Sat, 10 May 2008 13:45:11 +0000

This is the type of situations where my husband and I come to odds. A lot. Honestly I believe the main problem is that the men are too lazy to deal with it. He will say to me “it’s just easier to let it go”. Yes, it is easier I guess if you are too stinking lazy to pursue it, but we have enough financial trouble and you are adding to it by being lazy. The thing, in the work arena, my husband is NOT lazy. He’s a hard worker. But he hates confrontation so it’s not worth the effort, and we always lose out and I’m always the one to suffer the most as in we now don’t have the finance for something we actually needed, not wanted.

It might sound like I’m an angry woman…I’m not usually, and I am trying to learn to be submissive in all areas…I just don’t like how women have been trained to blame themselves and tell themselves they are in the wrong for wanting to do right in a situation where a man just couldn’t be bothered. It’s his fault, his problem. If both parties admit that then I believe that’s better.

By: Lela

Lela — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 18:32:30 +0000

So many times, I see myself in you and in your situations and I’m thankful that you share your challenges because it is comfort for me in some hard lessons of life.

By: Amy Scott

Amy Scott — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 17:08:13 +0000

I take, O cross, thy shadow for my abiding place;
I ask no other sunshine than the sunshine of His face;
Content to let the world go by to know no gain or loss,
My sinful self my only shame, my glory all the cross.

By: (((((HUGS))))) sandi

(((((HUGS))))) sandi — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 06:44:20 +0000

I am so sorry this whole thing happened! and yet I *needed* this lesson today and am thankful you shared it. God bless y’all! (((((HUGS))))) sandi

By: Sumer

Sumer — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 15:39:42 +0000

Thanks so much.
I really enjoy your writing.
Bless you for reminding me to accept and learn and shut-up about justice being served to me!
Really, God used your wisdom in a profound way today, thank you for that!

By: Faith Alterton

Faith Alterton — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 04:41:38 +0000

Amy, Have read your blog on and off for a while, but never commented. Just wanted to let you know that your writing here really spoke to me. You encouraged me to make a situation right that I hadn’t even realized was wrong until now. Thank you for your honesty and humble sharing. Looking forward to reading more!

-Faith
(sorry if this goes through twice - forgot to fill in the name etc!)

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 04:39:42 +0000

-Faith

By: I should do more of this, how ’bout you?:

I should do more of this, how ’bout you?: — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 00:35:22 +0000

[...] On April 28, 2008 some time around 6:35 pm-ish Sometimes it’s not about winning, but about letting go. [...]

By: Cindy S

Cindy S — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 13:45:56 +0000

Hi Amy! Fellow landlord w/ scaringly similar experiences here Too bad . . . I spent many nights thinking “why” is this happening when we are actually trying to be nice and help them (5 sets of tenants at different periods and houses) and “when” will this end so we can to return to our prior-unappreciated-seemingly-stress-free life we once lived We have since completely turned over all of our failure destined long-term rentals to fairly successful short-term rentals (weekly, daily) after repairing all of the damage, paying to haul abandoned belongings, swallowing all of the lost rent and utilities (tens of thousands) and repainting the brightest dark purple walls you have ever seen, a neutral color (like we had done just before they moved in), oh and replacing all the windows, among many other things With each case we were told “by authorities” that we would never get anywhere w/these tenants that literally had no money. So we took it as a harsh lesson or two (that could have been worse, right?) that we needed to learn. I had to change the way I viewed these “tenants” before I could move on (though I’m beginning to feel nauseous right now :-). Realizing that they had been living this sort of deceptive/destructive lifestyle for most if not all of their lives (later found out) and that I needed to be more appreciative of the work God has done in my soul–which has altered the course of my life and eternity. Did I mention one of the tenants was a prior missionary?
Love,
Cindy

By: Colleen

Colleen — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 05:52:31 +0000

I learned this lesson years ago. Although it is something that I have to relearn over and over again. I had a friend betray me in the worst possible way. For over a year I had struggled over and over with forgiving her. A few friends and I were talking about betrayal and forgiveness and less than a week later this ex-friend emailed me with what could only be described as her idea of an apology. It wasn’t in the true sense of the word but it did seem as if from God coming on the heels of my recent discussions.

I sat down to write an apology. The first one I wrote took a long time and was filled with all the pent-up words I had inside me of how I felt about her and what I thought of her actions. When I was done I felt horrible - my muscles were tight, my heart stressed, stomach in knots and my blood pressure through the roof. I was emotionally drained. But worse I was physically killing myself.

Then I wrote a second letter. It was short and to the point. I thanked her for writing, told her it was from God, and said I forgave her. I felt such release from that letter. It was easy and it felt good to my body. I didn’t hurt from it. I signed that letter and sent it. No one ever saw the first one and I deleted it immediately.

Holding on is the hard, painful part. Forgiving and giving up my “right to” (as someone else said) is actually the easier thing to do.