I meant to write a post about the other side of owning rental properties. You know, the part where you actually make money, but I thought I should stick to things I know about.

Rental properties can be a good investment. In theory. The things you have to know, though, are the things I haven’t told you about yet. (A woman has to keep secrets in order to maintain the mystery.) One of those things you have to know is that small time investors—that would be us—need to keep their properties local. That way, you know if people are violating the rules, like the one about keeping pets. The cat that fell through the ceiling in the middle of the night on the naked 500+ pound man sleeping in the bedroom? That wouldn’t have happened if I was on the job. You have to keep an eye on the place. (Well, I’d be sure to leave my glasses at home in the case of the cat man.) Note to renters: always take the top floor apartment. The top floor apartment is always the best. If it leaks, at least you know it’s rain and not something else.

That’s why when I was driving through our new town on my visit to the farm, I slammed on the brakes when I saw this certain house. It was perfect, well, almost perfect if you don’t look at the boarded windows, sagging A/C units, and yard that looks more like a South American jungle than a city lot.

Me: Ring. “Honey, I got this idea.” After waiting for him to pop some Advil, I explain how the house sits on the main drag next to the college in town—perfect. There are a few cosmetic issues, but nothing that can’t be fixed with a 2 x 4 and some paint. And some windows and doors. And a new floor. And appliances. But that’s minor. “It’s a bank foreclosure. What do you think?”

Greg hangs up the phone and concurs with my son that I’m nuts. The voice of reason, a nine-year-old, wants to know why I want three more units when the seven we already have…well, let’s not go there again. Here’s the thing: why give up now that I’ve paid so handsomely for this education? I mean, we know a ton of secrets—one of them is to stay local—so why leave the business now? We’re just about to make a return on our time. I can feel it. I know this. Besides, worst case, we can always use another tax write-off.

They probably won’t take my offer, and if they do, I’m going to find out what they’re hiding (or drinking).

It’s in my blood. I can’t help it. My name is Amy Scott, and I’m a real estate junkie. Please pray for my marriage. Thank you.