Days gone by
Saturday, May 10, 2008
When my oldest turned the big double digits this week, I realized that the days were long but the years are short. I know what that means now. When he was a baby—which was just yesterday, if I recall– I couldn’t leave the room without him wailing. Now he wants to walk to the park alone. I told him I’d consider it when he was 10. He’s 10 now, and I’ve done considered it. I thought the day was far away, but it is not. It is here. It is now. I wanted him to hurry up all this time, but now I want it to slow down. Fast.
Please don’t hate me for noticing what every other parent has observed before me. I knew it was coming but I still didn’t think it’d happen to me. This stuff happens to other people. The feet that fit in my palm are now the size of my own. He will be a man in less than 10 years. He will be taller than me any day now. The next thing I know, I’ll be the mother of a teenager, and what will I do. For his birthday, we gave him the multi-tool that SurvivorMan uses, and I trust him with it. I’m having one of those moments where I sat quietly and realized: This is going by. My mind is not ready for it. It’s like the thing you’re hoping if you just ignore, it won’t happen or it’ll go away. But when he ooh’d and ahh’d for a long time over his little siblings handmade cards instead of tearing into his present, I was certain things are different now. The signs were there, but now I have to read them.
He has a quick wit and a good reputation, but he is not yet the man he is going to be. I can see a shadow of it, though. It is good, but my husband and I are not yet done telling him all the things we want to say. He is a gift, but I see now that so is our time with him.

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Amy,
I totally understand what you mean. I’m constantly wishing I could slow down time with my 3. My oldest is about to finish kindergarten, and this year has been the fastest of my life-he is already moving out of the “little boy” stage and it kills me, although I do want him to progress and grow and mature into a godly man. It’s a catch 22, and I think most importantly, it keeps us dependent on the Lord for grace and reminds us to be thankful for the times we have. Thanks for sharing:)
Comment by Julie (May 10, 2008 @ 10:43 pm )
*sniffle*
*sniffle*
*snort*
*sniffle, sniffle*
*choke*
*WAH! wah wah wah wah wah!*
*sniffle*
You articulated our feelings very well, Amy. Thank you.
Comment by Grafted Branch@Restoring the Years (May 10, 2008 @ 11:05 pm )
Happy Double Digits!!!
I am a little over one year from that birthday… one to celebrate, one to meditate on… Oi! I have to stop thinking about it now.
I know what you mean about others having said it already. But then suddenly you SEE and FEEL what they were talking about all along! My oldest will be 9 this summer… that is halfway to 18! I want to yell for time to STOP! I want him to open up his mind so I can just fill it with all the knowledge that he *needs* to know! And I realize that there is so much that I haven’t taught him… and SO much that only he can learn on his own and with God’s help.
Aigh. I didn’t mean to hijack your comments.
HAPPY 10th BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! Enjoy and savor every moment of this special day!
Comment by Marsha (May 10, 2008 @ 11:29 pm )
One of my daughters gave me a couple of quotes this week that I absolutely love(d). I think the one from C.J. Mahaney is appropriate for this occasion and one that I hope you’ll appreciate. It was a sobering reminder of one of the other reasons we’re on this planet. Here ’tis:
“I pray I’m able to be there for my son as he grows older; I pray I’m able to be there for my son when and if he marries. I pray I will be able to be a grandpa to his children. But as I think about the future, I have no guarantee I will live through this day. Even in the best-case scenario, my days are numbered. So I work back from my death and ask, ‘What is the purpose of my life?’ The purpose of my life is to prepare my son for his death…The most important task is to prepare my son for that day when he stands alone before God and answers to God.” C J Mahaney
Happy B’day to your 10-year-old–you know the one with an “a” in his name (my last reference to my faux pas, I promise) and a Happy Mother’s Day to you and your readers!
Bring on the fawning. Yeah, right.
Cathy
Comment by Cathy (May 10, 2008 @ 11:50 pm )
Happy Birthday, Big Guy!
Amy…I know what you mean.
My eldest will turn 16 in a few months.
Something his Daddy and I have recently realized, though…is that our parenting doesn’t need to end when he turns 18. The role will change, undoubtedly, but as he has grown we have all actually grown closer. For the next 8 years, you won’t have to do all of the same training that you’ve already done. He will be a full-fledged thinker, able to give and take, and articulate thoughts. He will absorb and you will pour into his life. And even when he is grown with a family he will still need to have his parents “say what they need to say” to him.
I think we view 18 or 19 as an arbitrary cut off number…wah…they won’t need us any longer. We won’t have a role…
Well, yeah, if we’ve built it now, we WILL! It won’t be a forceful, controlling role, but still an advisory, equal-footing role.
Isn’t that exciting?
And then…although I’m in NO hurry to hasten old age…maybe GRANDBABIES to love on that we didn’t have to physically bear! That sounds FUN to me!
Rest, sweet friend. Enjoy EACH day and stage as it comes. He’ll still need you then, as well.
Comment by Holly (May 11, 2008 @ 12:37 am )
Neat post! I feel like that already with my 5-yr-old sometimes! And all I can do about it is cherish the moments as they pass. You 2 look alike… he’s got your eyes and your mouth. Happy Mother’s Day!
Comment by Kitchen Scrapbook (May 11, 2008 @ 12:39 am )
Each day is precious. Each day is wonderful and never to be duplicated. I’ve learned to fully appreciate them all and never look forward or wistfully look back. I do allow fond remembrances, just no wistfulness. I shared my feelings about enjoying each day just as it is with my children, recently on a beautiful spring morning. One of them responded with, “Yeah, but I just CAN’T WAIT til fall. THEN the weather will be perfect.” ARGH!
Happy birthday to your young man.
Comment by Geneva (May 11, 2008 @ 12:52 am )
Oh sister I hear you loud and clear! My first baby turns 17 this month. I blinked my eyes and she went grew up on me! She has her own bank account, an excellent job and her own laptop that she iChats to friends unknown with. She wants to be a helicopter pilot in the Coast Guard! When she was two I used to sit home and wonder if I would ever have a life of my own again…now I wonder if she will still include and need me in HER life.
Comment by ladiesofthehouse (May 11, 2008 @ 2:12 am )
Here’s a quote I read recently that rang true: “Mothers agree that indeed the years do fly. It’s the days that don’t. The hours, the minutes of a single day sometimes just stop. And a mother finds herself standing in the middle of a room wondering. Wondering. Years fly. Of course they do. But a mother can gag on a day.” Jain Sherrard
And that “one day” will be here way too soon!
It’s that “gagging on a day” that stops us from noticing how fast the days are going, and appreciating them.
But wow! What a gorgeous boy you have! There is something very special about those eyes. Keep training him up. I have a few daughters I might like him to meet one day…
Comment by Catherine (May 11, 2008 @ 6:56 am )
I was remarking to some college girls recently that an event they had just gone through was one they could “tell your grandchildren someday”.
When they all rolled their eyes and laughed, I said it will come much faster than you think. It wasn’t all that long ago I was at the same University and now I am Grammie to four little ones.
The days are slow and the years ARE fast.
Comment by Brenda@CoffeeTeaBooks&Me (May 11, 2008 @ 8:10 am )
There are no gifts in this life, here on earth, that are of greater magnitude than to see our children the way that God sees us. Your post is an example of the way the Father must view us as His children, and the feelings you have for him, pale in comparison to the feelings God has for him.
What a pleasure God must have in seeing you express His love towards him.
garth
Comment by Garth (May 11, 2008 @ 10:16 am )
A beautiful reminder. I have a fourteen month old and baby to be born soon. I keep resisting thinking I need a my (current) baby to grow up a little faster so we will be ready for the new baby. Reading your post really made me see that I can rush her if I want, but I won’t be able to get these sweet days back and someday I will probably really, really want to. Thanks.
Comment by Jenny (May 11, 2008 @ 12:09 pm )
Too true Amy. My middle child turned 11 today, on Mother’s Day. He’s all excited - 11 on the 11th. But it’s even more special to me because it *is* Mother’s Day. He was born on Mother’s Day - 3 1/2 weeks early because he just couldn’t wait. And, his birthday is not always on Mother’s Day, but this year it is. And as I snuggled him close this morning to whisper in his ear just how special he is to me, he was anxiously pulling away ready for the fun of the day with his friends.
It just goes by so fast, so hold them and snuggle them while you can. For too soon, in the blink of an eye, they are all grown up.
Happy Mother’s Day to you!
Comment by Carla S (May 11, 2008 @ 12:45 pm )
Amy, my oldest is going to turn 10 this week and I have been feeling the same things you are! He is growing up so fast and I am not ready. but on the other hand the more mature Michael is kind of nice too. It is a big mix up of feelings and I get teary eyed thinking about it. Well, I do have 4 more days of having a 9 year old, so I had better enjoy it!
Comment by Jennifer (May 11, 2008 @ 2:17 pm )
My oldest turned 3 on Thursday (born Mother’s Day three years ago!)and I had a hard time with THAT! I tend to be overly sentimental so I’ll have to be careful not to smother my kids each year as the reality of passing days sinks in. I sure got in a lot of “two-year-old hugs” the day before his birthday!
Comment by Amy from SD (May 11, 2008 @ 3:34 pm )
For my mother’s day card, my daughter, soon to be 14, gave me a homemade card that had a picture of her and me on her first Easter. There she is in that frilly little dress and bonnet. And to me, that seems like oh maybe, last week.
Enjoying your words through my tears……
Comment by Amanda (May 11, 2008 @ 4:18 pm )
beautiful post, and yes, I am tearing up along with all of the other mommies reading this.
Comment by Mindy (May 11, 2008 @ 5:51 pm )
I don’t know if you want to publish this comment, it is okay if you don’t–but I would like prayers for my neighbor, 33 years old in the hospital with a terminal illness. Her son turns 10 on the 19th. She wants to make it for that–she was so excited that he (their only child) was “turning double digits” and she planned a party for him. Maybe this is wrong to ask here on your blog, but I wanted to take a chance on it for her–she is so uncomplaining and humble. I walked around Walmart today for a Mother’s Day gift for her but realized there is nothing here on earth she needs anymore. Please pray for her and her husband and son.
Comment by Ruth (May 11, 2008 @ 8:49 pm )
What a sweet post for Mother’s Day. Once I had 4 under 4. Now those sweet children are 12, 11, 8 and 8. I am so thankful for them as well as my sweet littles who are 5 and 6 months. Amy, I keep telling myself, “Soon I’ll have a teenager and then what will I do?” Well, I have about 5 months to figure that out!!! They are precious and our time with them is indeed a gift. Thank you for the reminder.
Comment by Tina (May 11, 2008 @ 9:18 pm )
Happy Mother’s Day!
Julieann
Comment by Julieann (May 11, 2008 @ 10:09 pm )
Ruth,
I’ll be praying for your friend.
Cathy
Comment by Cathy (May 11, 2008 @ 10:29 pm )
Mmm, I so relate. My oldest is a few months away from hitting the big double digits too. My baby is turning 3 in four days. For the first time in a LONG time, nobody in this house is in diapers.
I was reading for a Developmental Psych class last year and learned that my oldest’s uterus and ovaries had already started becoming adult-sized. I put the book down, stunned. That cute little girl body, only a few short years away from becoming a woman’s (I know, I know), but had actually already started the process on the inside????
This whole time thing is freaking me out. Wasn’t I just the one turning 10…?
Comment by molly (May 12, 2008 @ 12:16 am )
Oh my. ~sniff~ ~sniff~ You had to go and remind me how fast my children are growing up. My oldest baby turned 18 this year and graduates on Saturday. That has been the most surreal experience. I’m living it yet somehow it can’t be happening to me!
Comment by Lady Why (May 12, 2008 @ 8:42 am )
You are blessed!
Comment by Tracey (May 12, 2008 @ 9:10 am )
Ruth -
Praying for your friend and her family.
Amy -
So touching - sitting here reading through tears. My girls turned 11,9 and 7 this spring. Where DO the years go?
Susan
Comment by Susan (May 12, 2008 @ 9:25 am )
What a beautiful post and picture!
Comment by Kathy J (May 12, 2008 @ 10:29 am )
Lovely picture. Wonderful sentiments. Tearing at my heart, as I’m oftentimes found in a panic over how much time has already gone by. This is one reason I don’t personally understand sending your kids to school every day. That is just robbing so many more hours away from you with them. I’m so thankful for the promise of Heaven in the midst of those moments. Thanks for sharing.
Comment by BJ (May 12, 2008 @ 12:12 pm )
Amy, what you said really struck a chord with me. My odlest will turn 8 this week, and I’ve been struggling with the same feelings.
It doesn’t help that this morning he informed me that he’s halfway to the age when he can drive a car.
AAARGH!
He is a great kid, and my right hand man. He does laundry ( best thing I ever taught him!),cleans the bathroom and entertains his younger siblings. I can trust him to take them all for a walk through the back three acres of trees.
But I look at him and see my smiley baby, who wanted to always be right where I was, who loved sitting on my lap looking at books, and building towers with his blocks.
Time seems to be rushing by, but I rest in the fact that God is in control, and understands what we feel. I enjoy how my son is growing in grace and knowledge of our Father, and pray that he continues.
Comment by Heather (May 12, 2008 @ 1:09 pm )
Yeah, it’s neat. I see even now that things are different. There is less telling/commanding and more “OK, this is what needs to be done…” I like it this way.
Gagging on a day–I like that phrase.
McGregor calculated that he’ll share his birthday on Mother’s Day when he turns 12. Cute.
Ruth, Thanks for sharing about your friend and reminding us what’s really important. It’s hard to remember the truly important things in the day-to-day. We were rushing around this morning to get our house in showable condition (a buyer is coming this afternoon), and it’s easy to get caught up and forget that these are our friends, people who Jesus loves that I am impatient with. I pray the Lord lets Ruth have that day with her son.
Happy belated Mother’s Day to all of you!
Comment by Amy Scott (May 12, 2008 @ 1:29 pm )
So does this celebration require a revision????
Amy Scott
The mother of six kids 9 and under, wife to a handsome rocket scientist, and aspiring Proverbs 31 lady.
Comment by Savannah McMurray (May 12, 2008 @ 1:42 pm )
Oops…fixed!
Comment by Amy Scott (May 12, 2008 @ 1:51 pm )
Noooooo, I hate thinking about this!!! I refuse to listen to those sappy songs about children growing up in the blink of an eye and then the parents being all alone with their memories. I can’t think about it!!!!!
Happy Birthday to your growing boy.
Comment by Kristi (May 12, 2008 @ 9:53 pm )
I love this post! Your words ring so true to my heart since my oldest just turned 20! It really seems like yesterday that we brought her home. So much living has happened between all of those years!
Happy birthday to your son!
Comment by Randi (May 12, 2008 @ 11:10 pm )
Aww. Happy birthday to him!
My oldest is only five, but I have those “shadow” moments too–for a split second I will see my boys at 16 or 25. I know it will go fast.
Comment by Margaret (May 13, 2008 @ 7:55 am )
Oh, how true - and how touching. Happy Birthday to your son!
Comment by Jill@Who Could Ask For Anything More (May 13, 2008 @ 11:37 am )
Reading this post brought tears to my eyes since my eldest turned 10 on the 24th. last month - - - Where does the time go?
Reading the comments makes me realize that my feelings are not uncommon or strange:-)
God bless all of our kids and give us the wisdom in raising them to His glory!
Gina
Comment by Gina (May 13, 2008 @ 11:39 am )
my one and only son is 10 in june. it has always been a sore thing with him (and me) that he is small for his age but, you know, i am glad now because in a way i feel like he is younger. having said that, he will probably grow a foot when he is 15 and i will be found on the floor in shock!!!
enjoy his birthday and remember, you have another 5 to get to his age yet thank God…
Ruth
Comment by ruth maccarthaigh (May 13, 2008 @ 11:43 am )
Gorgeous picture. Handsome young man with a beautiful mama. Happy Birthday to your son. You are blessed to be so young and have a 10 year old. May God guide and bless your family.
Comment by Marie (May 13, 2008 @ 11:45 pm )
The summer when my son was 10 was the best for him.He gained lots of independence that year.Now he is 13 and getting taller then me every day.It is going fast but you have 5 younger then him and who knows maybe even more.
Michelle Duggar is having her 18th child!Oldest is 20.
Comment by Tammy (May 14, 2008 @ 9:38 am )
What a beautiful boy!!! Don’t tell him, I called him beautiful!!
I have left you a Blog of Excellence reward!! If you want, you can pass it on to 10 other blogs!!
Thanks for a wonderful blog!!
Christy
Comment by Christy (May 14, 2008 @ 10:27 am )
I didn’t think it would happen to me either, this marveling at the quick (more like lightning speed) passage of time. My oldest is 14 but in my mind’s eye he is 4…
Comment by Lisa writes... (May 14, 2008 @ 11:36 am )
My Bubbalu is still only 17 months old, seems like yesterday he was a new baby.
I am relishing his growth and development, but still mourn the end of babyhood…
You have a beautiful son
Comment by Amanda - VintageDutchGirl (May 14, 2008 @ 1:28 pm )
My oldest is 11 (and I better not leave out the 1/2!) and it’s really hiting me that we don’t have a lot of tiem left with him. He will quickly be with more friends then us and then off to college. I am not wanting it to go this fast but am realizing how quickly it will go.
Comment by Debbie (June 2, 2008 @ 8:53 pm )